No offense intended! Again, this is all for amusemnet and entertainment!

Besides, I have nothing better to do than make fun of Tite Kubo.

Dear Bleachers,

I wonder why does one as beautiful as your favorite mangaka have to reply to all these menacing and annoying letters? Then again, I am not one to complain. But I shall remind you all that this may be part of my plan. Well, then. Let's see what our dear KazumaKaname has to say.

Dear Kubo

If you really are all powerful then how come you're bent to the will of character popularity polls and that's why so many characters never died.We both know that the power of a god is nothing when compared to the nerdrage of fanboys and fangirls ragequitting your manga!

-KazumaKaname

Must I remind you that the people who die, die according to my grand plans? Many people haven't died because I have made the readers believe they are good people! Yamamoto died. Gin died. Byakuya almost died. Ulquiorra died. Although, his death as tied to my mother, who resembles him greatly. Starrk died. Kariya Jin died. Wait he's a filler he doesn't count. See? I made many people die. Gin and Szayelapparo (you know the pink haired wannabe Care Bear) were extremely popular, and many people did ragequit my saga then. Although, Aizen is too perfect to die. Remember Writing Tip #3? If you have forgot, I advise you to take only 3 seconds away from your limited mortal time and please go back to that letter prior to this one.

It is all in your wording. If the words don't make it interesting, then the plot does. Technically, when you claim to stop reading the story, you end up reading to the end because you just have to know what happens next.

Do you know who you remind me of, Kaname-san?

The other day, while I was playing Club Penguin, I asked my pink penguin girlfriend (who was, of course, the most prettiest and richest penguin in the game), "Why must people come to me for wanting a certain person in my manga killed? Why should they wonder why I make some people die and others alive?" She asked me, blinking her beautiful green virtual eyes, "Manga?" I answered. "Yes. I am actually Tite Kubo. I write Bleach." Of course, next thing I knew there was this big scandal involving me and a penguin. In fact, it was so bad the entire case was made classified and in the end I broke up with my penguin. Indeed, that was not an experience I was willing to have again, so I got off of Club penguin.

And that is how I met Minecraft.

We had a beautiful love that lasted for 11 days. More than any other relationship I've had. I had thought that Steve was the one for me, which is why I created Mystogan. Wait that belongs to Fairy Tail. No, that is how I created Mayuri. They both have the same poker face and the block like expression. Now, I know I said I wanted Ichigo with Aizen but in reality I only wanted Mayuri with Aizen because their black and whiteness match perfectly.

Wait. Why am I discussing romance with you? I thought that discussion was over. Silly Kaname-chan. Making me talk about the same thing again.

As for the, how do you say it? "Rage quitting," well, I must admit that my previous fans did NOT abandon my story for finding something more spectacular—in fact, this was all part of my plan. I make others distress over my epic saga so much they give up on this story, but in the end all my little minions come back to me. Take last night as an example. I had walked into Payless near that Ramen stand outside my house and I had trolled the store owner into giving me 69 pairs of shoes for free. You might be wondering why I wanted so many shoes. However, that is a story that will be explained in the Shaving in Soul Society Arc. Well, after I trolled that poor mortal into submission, I saw the most beautiful thing on earth—

Haha. Like I would tell you what it is. And no it wasn't a violin. In fact, it resembled a

Again, I shall not reveal to you what this beauty was. Indeed, it was amazing. Now, to answer your question about ragequitting, those "nerds" as you say, cannot comprehend and understand my perfection. In fact, my cousin's mother's son's uncles' fathers' panda's daughter had sadly destroyed the first copy of my manga in anger because he was ashamed the lead character had such obscene highlighter orange hair. After flipping through many pages and looking at me with expressions of rage, she ate it.

Or maybe she was looking for a bamboo alternative. But my, those pandas sure have strong jaws. I nearly destroyed that new orange highlighter Michael Jackson shoes I had gotten. My, how much I loved Michael Jackson. I always wondered why a Mexican country singer with blond hair would create a line of badminton-only shoes.

Basically, I'm trying to say that rage quitting occurs when the heart and mind cannot comprehend what is begin said. Scientists in the Trolling Academy of Excellence have said continuously how nerdquitting happens only when bewilderment crosses the poor victim—I mean person. Ragequitters are actually following my story just like a closet otaku does. No, they're not looking at hentai alternatives. They're actually buying my books and giving me so much money that even Kuchiki Byakuya would be jealous. And it's hard to make him jealous. I should know. I created him. Well, ragequitters adore my story more than regular fans. However, Bleach has unfortunately become very mainstream and to some overrated. They say they hate it, but they actually really like. I bet most of my Twitter followers are ragequitters who continuously look back at my story.

Besides, didn't Urahara Kisuke say that, "The more you like something, the more you say I hate it." Wait. Now that I think about it, this can question Ishida Uryuus relationship with Ichigo. Of course, Ishida was supposed to be a girl, but then I got him mixed up with Haribel. Or wait was that Grimmjow? You may be wondering why Grimmjow, but sewing looks too manly for Haribel, and Grimmjow shares a passion for it! Many of you don't know but Keigo actually likes Chad. Remember how they went on that date? Wait that was filler never mind. But honestly, I ship it. #Dontjudge (yes, I have discovered instagram)

Intimidating the reader is quite a marvelous thing. Especially if you can make them as insane as I am when I take the medicine I had bought from that car dealer when I write my manga.

Alas, Christmas has finally come. I think it's time to take down the pink and red Valentine's Day decoration. My girlfriend of 1 weeks had put those up, back in July 2009.

Love, your intimidating mangaka,

Tite Kubo

•Writing Tip #4: Intimidate your readers into submission•

How was Otaku Day? For all of you who don't know, Otaku Day was on Sunday, December 15! I did nothing...homework took up my time.

And finally I was able update! I was high and bored and I'm having writers block . So I spent my time listening to the Neighborhood and Linkin Park and other death metal stuff. You know, Sweater Weather, Afraid, Rap God, and the like. I honestly was bored. But now I'm not! Again, if you review, only the first review to the chapter gets answered. All other people get pandas. And alot of them. And cookies.

Love and Panda Stockings,

Sabby-sama the Panda Earless.