Dear Bleachers,

My boredom exceeds no limits today. If I could be a panda, I would be a panda. Named Ulquiorra. I know my amazing readers want to talk to me but I can't handwrite/handtype letters to all of you. If I did, no Bleach manga would come out.

And here is another bastar—I mean Bleacher with a new letter:

Dear Kubo Tite (without the sama again),
I am terribly curious. And interested. Can you teach me how to on the spy mode? If you teach me, I'll say "As I expected...". If you do not, I'll say "It's all according to the plan..." And if you answer anything else, I'll say "So predictable...". What will you do? :D The auto correct happens to me too, and it happened to oh-so perfect Aizen and Kubo Tite, therefore... YOU'RE NOT PERFECT! I wish you a happy new year, and I received the pandas. Though I'd rather go to China and see a real one (that was just an excuse to go travel), and I ship Aizen/Byakuya. Shall I start promoting my favorite fanfictions or not? Let me tell you, the Fanfiction author of the fanfiction that inspired you to write this fanfiction (are you following? If you're not, then you're not perfect) ships them too. :P
Happy New Year, my dear trolling mangaka. I wish you a new year of trolling.
I have an idea for your next chapter, though. Why don't you make a Kubo Tite New Year Resolution? :D
Your in-the-path-to-trolling reader,
LeAwesomeOne IX

Speaking of which, my New Year's Resolution was mailed to me by Santa. I had to contact him from the basement he was locked in. I suppose he asked Shihion Yoruichi for more cookies than usual, and I am positive Kisuke Urahara drugged Yumichika's ferret which actually belonged to Starrk who was really Hiyori's grandfather's art dealer. I have been talking to this man who I must say is one of the greatest trolls I have ever met. Besides myself and Aizen but we are the same person. To teach people how to troll takes time skill and money, lots and lots of money, which I'm afraid I have none of.

But Santa's list told me to "quit writing." I am bored with Bleach, Aizen is not there anymore, so I am running out of trollers. I might have to create some new ones, which brings me to my next point. I might even make Shiba Kukaku's butler's son as the next troll, much like Abarai Renji. That blue haired monkey is indeed one of the worst trolls. Of course, no one realized because he intended everyone to think he isn't a troll when in fact he is a troll but not succumbing in the actions of a troll but I assure you he is only 15 levels away from Aizen's trollmaster abilities. You see I might have to quit Bleach because, I have been offered to adopt a young troller-in-session. In the midst of my New Year celebrations, I have realized to start making more money, I need to tutor young padawans, such as Shinji, in the art of trolling. If I have taught someone how to troll magnificently, it is Shinji's sword Sake-End. LeAwesomeOneIX you can sign up by filling out an application at this website: . That goes for anyone else interested in the art of trolling.

Speaking of Aizen, LeAwsomeOneIX has brought to my attention that Aizen was based off of me. That is a troll as well. You all might think that I am Aizen however Aizen is me, so in reality, I am Aizen and Aizen is I. We are one and the same. It is like in Hisagi's new song, The Chicken or the Egg. Which came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken is the egg and the egg is the chicken that is how Aizen and I are. We are the Eggs. We cannot be chickens because everybody knows that chickens are not trollers and when has Aizen trolled you? Always, so Aizen is not a chicken. He knew he was going to be locked up deep inside the maggots nest. I have said too much so I will leave off with this, Aizen is not actually in jail.

LeAwesomeOneIX in her multiple letters has forcibly expressed her opinions, like my previous twenty five and a half girlfriends whom cannot be found in Space anymore. Awesome-chan says that she "ships" "Aizen/Byakuya" Who is Byakuya? Is he the one with long black hair with Haircurlers called Kensei Khan? Isn't he a panda? Byakuya is a rule following, noble, prissy, soft on the outside but hard in the inside person, no? I first met the model of Byakuya at a river bank. I needed a change so I became friendly with this beautiful black and white creature. Over time, I found out that this gorgeous panda was actually heartbroken over the loss of his wife, Pandia-san. Oh, how he loved her. And the cherry blossom peas-I mean trees (Stupid Google translate!) which had already blossomed let its lovely pink feather like petals gracefully fall on our half eaten Subway sandwich. However, it was the panda who had realized that one of the petals was NOT a sakura petal, but a Apple tree petal. My, I wasn't able to keep my horror in and I instantly fainted the way only a lady of the evening could. Then, the apple tree petal flew out of his furry manly hands and….fell into the Yogurty. I screamed bloody murder at this, and then realized that if I had not been saved by Panda-sama, I would have died of apple-flower-in-Kanzaki-Yogurty, a rare disease with has infiltrated Ishiyama High in my manga. Wait. That is Beelzebub, not Bleach. But my, isn't Hilda quite a broad? Anyway, I decided to make that incident into Shūkei: Hakuteiken, Byakuya's special attack involving spinning ramen noodles. He is Asian but he is white and he wears black. It is a simple rule of Algebra, which I passed with an F+ in elementary school, that Asian+Black+White=Panda. Just like Troll+Handsome+Money=Aizen. I ship only cargo so I'm not trolling when I say that Aizen/Byakuya is my new cargo ship name. I have to transport some wom- I mean people from Hueco Mundo to Sereitei.

Byakuya is one of my most complex characters as he is also a master troller in disguise. Remember how I've explained who the real trollers are? They are the ones who hide their trolling abilities, like Mayuri. He is indeed an evil, creepy scientist thing. Byakuya is my best creation, because as we all know Aizen is me, so obviously Aizen is a model of perfection like moi, but Byakuya, that panda is something special. He wanted to kill Rukia, and he did hurt Ichigo the one he knew would come to save her, but in the end, he trolled the readers into thinking he was bad when he was indeed trying to save her from the clutches of Aizen but silly Byakushie. Everything anybody does is predetermined by Aizen, so he knew Byakuya was 'good' all along.

Are you doubting me now Awesome-chan? You said "The auto correct happens to me too, and it happened to oh-so-perfect Aizen and Kubo Tite, therefore... YOU'RE NOT PERFECT!" How do you I am not perfect? Why must I repeat myself thousands of times over? Now I know why my heartless mother felt. I suppose I should thank you for showing me the light, but then again, I knew you were going to tell me before you did. Auto correct was my creation. Ask the maker of Apples yourself. I'm sure Billy Gates would like to talk to you. I have created the ultimate weapon of DESTRUCTION, known to most as 'Auto-Correct'. This device is hated by many simply because it is a weapon of mass trolling. But it can disguise your true words, making it a great secret code used between the strongest army in the world, the Vandenreich. Why else do you think that nobody knew that the Quincy were still alive? You say that auto correct happens to you also, well of course it does. It has infected every computer, tablet and phone is the world. Of course there is an off button but most people don't know this. It is actually located in an extremely complicated place known as the
Of course, I will not tell you! That messes up all the fun, which I have earned from my days lounging on the couch while eating those salt fried bread like foods, which Muggles claim are "chips."

The world is full of disbelievers, but you must strive to show everybody the light, the society of light. I will convert the world from liars to trollers. Together, we trollers can make the world a better place.

Love your majestic mangaka,

Tite Kubo

•Writing Tip #6: Make your stories come to life•

AUTHORSNOTE:

This is the first time I wrote one of these 99% without Sabrina, the others were by her. I probably won't do another one of these. I think it's not as good as Sabby's but hey, I tried. Don't forget to review for a chance to have Tite Kubo: Master of Troll write back to you.

-AngelofDarkus