When I first started this story three years ago (three! , I asked myself, "What's a young but reasonable age to be married and pregnant?" I decided 22 sounded good. Not too young, but just at the age where you finish college and it's either good timing or screws up all your career plans.
…now that I'm 22… Haha, it's not "Oh wow I picked way too young of an age, I can't imagine being married and pregnant now!", it's more of a… "Man. I don't even have a boyfriend. NO FAIR, MEIRU."
As always, please enjoy this next installment of fluff. Reviews are appreciated!
Capcom owns all of this, except the stuff I BSed to make the story work.
"What?!" Even though it was rude and didn't help the situation at all, Roll couldn't help but stare.
"I-I wasn't… didn't go…" Meiru choked, "I didn't go to the hardware store yesterday. I want to the pharmacy. I wandered around for an entire hour, but I couldn't bring myself to buy… to buy a test…."
"Oh Meiru-chan…" Roll exhaled, copying her Operator and putting a hand to her mouth.
"But I k-kept going by that isle, and the guy at the counter g-gave me this funny look like he knew what I wanted… I just… just couldn't do it, Roll."
"Shh, shh," Roll shushed gently. "It's alright."
"No, no it's not," gasped Meiru, starting to succumb to her tears. "I don't have a real job, Netto's killing himself working a full-time job and doing PhD research, and we just spent every penny we've saved these last two years to buy this stupid house. This is the worst time to get... to g-get pregnant…"
Roll moved her hand from her mouth and clenched it into a fist over her Navi icon, trying her best not to bite her lower lip. Even though she whole-heartedly agreed that this was terrible timing, reaffirming the obvious truth would only upset Meiru further. She hated to see Meiru cry. "Don't say that, don't. We don't know if you're pregnant; it could be something totally unrelated!"
Meiru began to cry in earnest, so Roll pressed on. "Think about it! When you said you didn't want to take hormonal birth control, you and I researched a bunch of other options, remember? I looked up all the statistics for you, Meiru-chan, and I checked all of that math. If you've been… erm, using everything correctly, there's like a zero chance that you're pregnant."
"Yeah… "like" zero…" Meiru sniffed. She still seemed cheered by that fact, though, and began to clumsily wipe her face clean.
"And… uh… oh!" Struck by a sudden thought, Roll dug through her achieve of financial data for grocery receipts. "Didn't we buy tampons recently? You haven't missed a period, have you?"
"I thought of that too," Meiru hiccupped. "No, I haven't missed one. My last one was really light, though… I didn't think much of it at the time, but…" Her face clouded up again.
"But you still had it, right?" Roll interjected, trying to prevent more tears. "That's got to count for… for something, right?"
Roll knew she was grasping at straws, now. When she was researching Meiru's obvious symptoms, pregnancy had come up, but she'd thrown it out almost immediately because she knew Meiru was taking precautions against that. Now she was wishing that she hadn't been so quick to dismiss the idea; the only things she knew about pregnancy were what she'd seen in cliché movies, and that basically amounted to nothing. Roll decided that she should stop talking before she put her foot in her mouth.
"You know what Meiru-chan?" she admitted, trying to be realistic but gentle about it, "There is a super tiny chance that you could be, but an even bigger one that you're not. Why don't we go see Kawashima-sensei tomorrow? She can find out if you are and… well, we'll deal with the results when we get them, okay?"
Meiru choked on a silent sob and coughed.
"Shh, there's no reason to freak out until we know for sure. I'll go with you, you'll be fine… we can do this…" Roll repeated reassurances over and over like a mantra. After about ten repetitions, she wondered who it was she was trying to reassure.
Roll stared absent-mindedly at a poster. It was a full-size illustration of the human circulatory system, with all the major arteries and veins labeled. Roll started at the heart, and began to the read down, focusing mainly on the red arteries. She quickly committed the names of them to memory, but only because she was bored and wanted something to do. She wondered vaguely what blood vessel it was that pregnant women were supposed to have trouble with. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered Meiru's mother complaining that she wasn't allowed to lay on her… well, one of her sides when she was pregnant.
Feeling nervous again, Roll quit staring at the poster. People could complain all they wanted about waiting for hours and hours outside in a waiting room, but it was the ten minutes spent in a small, cold examination room surrounded by strange medical equipment that was truly unpleasant. Roll was suddenly glad she was a Net Navi, but instantly regretted that thought; poor Meiru looked so small sitting on the paper-covered recliner.
The heavy wooden door clicked open, and Roll saw Meiru flinch at the noise.
"Hello!" A middle-aged woman with a mop of dark curly hair and square glasses walked in, smiling ear-to-ear. She was short, too; when she shut door behind her, she had to kick her overly-long white lab coat out of the way.
Meiru inclined her head in a small bow. "Hello sensei. Thank you for seeing me," she said in an equally small voice.
"It's been a while since I saw you last. I suppose that's a good thing, hm?" Kawashima-sensei laughed, but all Meiru could do was give her a weak smile in return.
Roll thought it was funny: they'd spent ten minutes waiting for the doctor to show up, and now that she was here neither of them wanted her to be here. Roll was very glad that she'd come with Meiru; things like this were always more scary alone.
"So I have a pretty good idea why you're here—"
"You do?" Meiru asked, furrowing her brow.
"Yes," the doctor smiled, "you have a very caring and very thorough Navi. When she stopped by yesterday to make an appointment, she gave us a full list of your symptoms."
Meiru gave her PET an exasperated look. "Oh."
Roll laughed sheepishly. "I was worried!" she said simply.
"So I've got a few ideas what could be going on, and I have a few questions. First, and don't mind me asking, do you and you husband practice any sort of birth control?"
Roll saw May's face tinge pink. "W-we do… but…"
Kawashima-sensei nodded her head understandingly. "These things can happen, yes. Well, I think we should test for that first; it seems like the most obvious explanation."
If possible, Meiru shrank into an even smaller ball on the recliner.
Kawashima-sensei seemed to recognize this type of reaction. Without warning she hopped up on the recliner next to Meiru. The paper crinkled like mad as she got settled and threw an arm around her patient. "Listen," she said softly, "I've seen this a million times, and it's not as bad as you think. If you are pregnant, I've got books and books of things for you to read, advice to give you, people to refer you to… If you're not, I've got a few other things we can look at. One way or another, I promise I'll do my best to help."
Roll felt like crying. She had wanted to give Meiru a hug all day long and was overjoyed that someone else had not only noticed that Meiru needed a hug, but actually given her one. It was hard, sometimes, trying to calm someone down when all you had was words.
Kawashima-sensei slid off the recliner with another barrage of crinkling, and motioned for Meiru to do the same. She went to the door, reopened it, and stood aside for Meiru to walk through first. "Don't worry," she smiled, "you'll be fine."
Meiru nodded mutely, which caused Roll to feel both resentful and relieved. She had said those exact words about fifty times in the last two days, but each time it had gone in one ear and out the other.
Oh well, Roll thought, maybe Meiru-chan is finally listening.
It would be cruel, Meiru had said. I'm not too young; I'm happily married; what right do I have to say no to this baby?
Personal feelings on the subject aside, Roll had to agree wither her Operator's reasoning. There was no "if", only a "when". A when which, as it turned out, was scheduled for October third.
How do they decide these things? Roll wondered. She wished she had saved a recording of the heartbeat; that was the only thing that had seemed real about today. The tests with their various colors and printouts had meant nothing, and even when the perky young ultrasound technician exclaimed "There it is! There's your baby!", all Roll saw was a small white oval on a black triangular background.
Roll marveled at how fast the heartbeat was. It was a soft "wish-wish-wish" kind of sound, but it had also seemed... persistent, somehow. It was as though this little being clinging to life inside of Meiru was trying to say, "I am here!" The sound carried a finality that no other piece of proof could. The feeling was further cemented by the sudden proclamation of, "The baby is due October third".
And so, the world had decided Meiru was going to have a baby on October third.
"..ey... Hey! Roll-chan! Roll-chan!"
A hand grabbed Roll by the shoulder and shook her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She jumped at the sudden touch, but relaxed when she saw that it was just Rockman, home from work. "Oh. Welcome home. I did not hear you…"
Rockman stood over her, his face pale and mouth drawn into a thin line. "Roll-chan, what's wrong?"
"Huh?" she said absently. She didn't understand why he looked so worried.
"You only play with your antennae like that when something's wrong."
Looking down, Roll noticed for the first time that she was twisting the end of her right antenna in her hands. "Oh." She wondered why she hadn't realized earlier; her antenna was really starting to hurt.
Rockman switched his weight from one foot to the other, a sign that Roll recognized as impatience. "Roll-chan, did something happen? Are you alright?"
Roll went back to staring morosely at the floor. What had happened today didn't concern him. "Nothing happened. I'm fine." Without thinking, she reached for her antenna again.
"Roooll-chan!" Rockman grabbed her forearm, pulling it away from her helmet. "You're not being very convincing!"
"I told you nothing's wrong," she said, trying to take her arm back.
"And I think you're lying to me," Rockman countered, tightening his grip.
Roll knew she was being uncooperative, but Rockman's actions were beginning to scare her. He was never this rough with her. "You're hurting me. Let go!"
"Tell me what happened first," he said sternly.
"I told you we're fine!" Roll shouted, feeling close to tears. She wasn't some small child he could scold; he had no right to pry into her business.
"We?" Rockman asked, his eyes widening. "Where is Meiru-chan? Did something happen to Meiru-chan?"
Roll was finding it increasingly hard not to panic. "L-let me go!"
"Tell me first!"
"I promised I wouldn't!" she shouted. She tried to catch Rockman off guard and twist her arm free, but his grip remained firm.
Rockman breathed a huff of annoyance. "Well now I definitely know you're hiding something. Come on, what's wrong?"
Roll had been expressly forbidden from saying anything to Rockman, because it was a proven fact that he could not keep secrets from Netto. It was a bit unfair; Roll knew he was just concerned about Meiru, like she'd been all week. Still, she had promised she wouldn't tell, and Rockman's unwillingness to let the matter drop was hurting more than her arm.
Roll shook her head and shut her eyes tightly, as though that could stave off the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. "I can't... I promised..."
"Just... on a scale from one to ten, how bad it is?" Rockman sounded as though he was trying very hard to keep his frustration in check. "Or should I go find Meiru-chan and ask her myself?"
"No!" Roll snapped. "Let me go!" She brought up her other hand to help pry the trapped one free, but Rockman intercepted it on the way. Roll surprised herself by fighting back; she had never hit Rockman before (intentionally at least), and now she wanted nothing more than to slap him across the face.
Unfortunately, he had quicker reflexes than she did. Before she could even raise her hand, he seized her wrist and brought it down in a crushing grip next to the other. "I just want to help! Why can't you tell me what's wrong?"
"We don't need your help!" Roll snarled, her panic turning into anger. "You just love to play the hero, don't you? Whenever there's a hint of danger, you and Netto-san always rush in to save the day because obviously Meiru-chan and I are too weak and pathetic to do anything on our own."
Rockman was taken aback. "I never said that," he exhaled, forgetting to shut his mouth when he was done.
"But it's what you're doing! What you always do," she yelled, angry tears blurring her vision. "I know that sometimes we're not as strong as you and Netto-san, and... and we can't win every fight... but that doesn't mean we're weak! We don't need to be saved from every little thing; we can handle our problems on our own, even if we lose."
Rockman said nothing to this, but stared at her, hurt. Roll felt her anger seep away at his look. She had wanted to tell Rockman that for years... It was the truth, even if it hurt, but now that she had admitted it to him (and to herself), all she wanted to do was cry. She had no idea why, and it infuriated her; crying would go against everything she was trying to prove. Roll lowered her eyes to the floor, trying to blink away the blurriness that threatened to overflow.
Rockman let out a long, even breath, another sign which Roll knew to mean "thinking". After a moment he mumbled, "I'm sorry. I know you can take care of yourself. You're a very strong Navi, often in ways I am not. It's just..." He chuckled and tilted his head back. "Netto-kun says I nag too much, but really I just worry too much. And when I worry, I get over protective. I can't help it."
Roll kept her eyes glued to the floor. "You can't protect me from everything."
"That doesn't mean I won't try."
Roll could perfectly envision the kind, gentle smile she knew Rockman was giving her right now. On any normal day it would have made her heart skip a beat, but today it made her want to slap him again. He had just made a 180° switch from "stronger-than-you-and-angry" to his normal shy and quiet self in a matter of seconds; was she supposed to pretend that the former hadn't happened? Even if he was just trying to protect her, how did crushing her arms accomplish that?
"Roll-chan?"
Again without looking, she could picture his sympathetic eyes. "I don't want your pity. I t-told you…...I'm not weak," she said, trying her best to keep her voice steady. It wasn't working; her resolve was crumbling. Frantically trying to think of something else, Roll was suddenly aware how numb her hands had gone. Feeling stupid, she nudged her arms towards Rockman and mumbled, "Hurts."
He dropped her wrists and whipped his hands up in surrender, like a thief caught red-handed. "I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean..."
Roll shook her head. "No. It's alright." Rockman was never very aware of how strong he was. He had a talent for missing details, like Netto.
Both Navis turned at the sound of door banging open. They could tell that it was the front door, and both knew that the front door was only forcefully opened by one person: Netto. Rockman glanced back at Roll, and she knew his eyes were asking if he could go find out what was happening.
She was conflicted. Would Meiru tell Netto, or had she calmed down enough to try and hide it? "I'm not even sure if I want to watch them. I don't know... if Meiru wants me there."
"When Netto-kun is upset," Rockman suggested softly, "I usually walk in and where he can see me, and then let him decide if he wants me there or not."
Roll frowned. Knowing Meiru, she was still curled up on the couch, crying; it was that thought that spurred her forward towards the television in the living room. "Come on," she said, beckoning with a wave for Rockman to follow, "let's go find out."