Don't Look Back – Chapter 35
The Song Is You

((Kentoku's POV))

The smacking and whistling of spinning staffs soon became music to my ears over the many week of peace. The faint herbal scent left in the wake of mahogany tresses soon became my favorite smell. The gentle beacon of happiness shone whenever a smile appeared, and my skin would shiver in delight, my heart beginning to race. It was almost frightening what that pair of gray jewels can make me do, say, and think. Rin had successfully claimed all of me, body and soul.

I was not one to come out and express myself, and I certainly was not comfortable with professing my devotion and love for anyone. The true depth of my feelings was inexpressible, especially by mere spoken words. I knew that I probably should ask for some… advice… before I messed up.

Fortunately, I did not have to go ask for help – the help came charging in.

: - : - : - : -: - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : -: - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - : - :

"Kentoku?" Eve called.

I looked up from my report and smiled briefly. "Can I help you?"

"I was just wondering…" She drawled, taking a seat, "What you are going to do about Rin."

I could not stop the alarmed look from crossing over my face. "I beg your pardon?"

She just laughed. "What are you planning to do? It is so very clear that you two like each other, and Rin is the kind of woman that would rather do anything and make the first move. So that leaves it up to you!"

"And you tell me all of this with a smile on your face?"

"Exactly!" She cried happily, her grin nearly splitting her face. I wondered where this woman got all of her constant energy. "After all, I am not in your shoes!"

"At least my shoes are closer to the finish line." I muttered.

Jade eyes narrowed. "What did you say?"

I flashed her a smile, "Nothing." My face grew serious when she did not leave. "You are going to help me whether I want you to or not." I said, my voice flat.

"Pretty much." She replied, standing up and putting her hands flat on my desk so she could loom over me and look me dead in the eye. "Are you going to cooperate?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, knowing that I was going to receive her "help" no matter what I decided to tell her. I stopped – an idea, and unexpected one, had just popped into my head. With this, I knew that my point would get across to Rin… and Eve would just love to help.

"Eve, I have an idea."

"Yes!" She cried, sitting down with a grin. "I knew that you would give up at some point!"

I shot her a quick glare, which she smiled at, and I soon got down to explaining everything. Once I was done, she starred at me in shock. "You have to be joking. You want to serenade her?" When I did not respond, she began to laugh. "Kentoku, that is the best thing that we could have ever come up with! Your voice is to die for!"

I shook my head with a smile, knowing that she was giving me entirely too much credit, but secretly pleased. If it came from her, then it had to be true. I was lucky to have a sister like Eve. I watched her mumble to herself, no doubt picking a song, and I slowly realized why Basir and Felix were fighting over her.

She was not a tall person – she could easily fit under my arm. With a round face and almond shaped eyes, she looked every inch of a blissfully innocent being. But her emerald eyes held the power of knowledge, and her shoulders were carrying the heavy burden of responsibility that came with that it. They remained square and sturdy, never faltering with her bright outlook on everything around her. I could see how Felix found her attractive with all of her curves, and I could see how Basir loved everything. Now more than ever, I wanted one of them to speak up and end this very obvious love triangle, once and for all.

"Kentoku, are you listening to me?"

I blinked, "No, I am sorry, what did you say?"

"What are you singing?" She repeated, rolling her eyes. "I cannot think of a thing. Any ideas?"

I shifted nervously.

A devilish grin spread across her face. "You wrote something."

I shifted again.

"Let me see it."

I happened to notice that I was sitting in a very uncomfortable chair. How I had not noticed before-

"Damn it, Kentoku, let me see it!"

Her last four words were strong and loud, her hand out toward me, waiting for the paper. I sighed; this was another battle I was destined to lose. I opened a drawer of my desk and hesitantly handed it to her. She snatched it away quickly before I could decide to hide it again. Her eyes scanned the page quickly as I starred nervously at the top of my desk. Writing things was never my strong suit, but I had been very bored and nothing was holding my interest for long except the thought of Rin. I am one massive mess.

She finished reading and set it down on the edge of my desk and waved her hand, her small harp appearing in front of her. The faint and entrancing sounds of those well-worn strings enveloped my office, and I could hear her soul humming along with the tune she was creating. I watched her in almost fascination as she played, for this never became old and mundane for me. Each time was something new, a new adventure, and a new story. She stopped suddenly, and I blinked, somewhat annoyed that the soothing notes had faded.

Eve's eyes were slightly wet, and I immediately leaned forward, my eyes concerned. "It's beautiful." She told me.

I frowned, clearly confused about the entire thing. "Excuse me?"

"What you wrote. It's beautiful." She repeated, a smile coming across her face. "Give me some time and I will have some music to go along with this."

I starred at her, aghast. "Are… are you serious?"

She rolled her eyes, completely recovered from her touched state of mind. "No Kentoku, I'm leading you on. Of course I'm serious!"

For some reason… I did not feel so sure about this anymore.

((Rin's POV))

This was getting to the point where I could barely stand it. What was up with Kentoku? For the past few days, he's been extremely edgy and won't even talk to me. He hasn't shown up for our nightly spars… and I'll admit that I'm beginning to worry. Does he not… care for me anymore? As much as I hate to admit it, the thought scares, no, terrifies me. I groaned as I sank to my knees, leaning against the tub that I had been cleaning. Even though I no longer worked for Yubaba, old habits died hard. After all, these warriors needed to bathe sometime. There was never a shortage of things to do, that was for sure.

I heard a voice calling my name, and I frowned. I stood up, my head just peaking up over the rim of the tub. I frowned, "Eve?"

She smiled, running up to the tub and gesturing for me to get out. "Come on, I have something to show you!"

"What is it?" I asked, climbing out of the tub.

"Just come with me!" She said, a delighted smile on her face. When I didn't move, she rolled her eyes (I swear she does that all the time) and grabbed my wrist, hauling me out of the baths.

"Where… are we going?"

"You'll see! It's in our room!" She cackled happily, dragging me toward the elevator.

That elevator ride up to our room was positively the most awkward thing imaginable. Eve was grinning the entire way and obviously trying to keep herself from spilling the beans right then and there. As for me, I was looking at her as if she was insane. But as the elevator climbed, I began to share in her excitement. What awaited me? Why were we headed toward our room anyway? Once the elevator opened, Eve grabbed me by the wrist and ran down the hall – as if she needed to pull me. The adrenaline was running through my veins, and I knew that whatever this was had to be huge. We slid to a halt in front of our room, and she opened the door, ushering me onto the balcony.

I looked at her in confusion, wasn't my surprise been in the room? Why was I out here? I was going to voice my questions but she just shook her head, her face lit by her famous grin. "Just stay here. You'll figure it out very quickly."

I stood on our balcony, completely mystified. All was silent except for the soft crashing of the waves and the gentle wind whistling past the bathhouse. No steam rose from the boilers today, and the sounds of people working were just like faint memories of the past. I sighed, leaning my hands on the railing. As I looked out over the sea, I realized that I had almost forgotten the beauty of this place.

The gardens had flourished now that time was available to tend to them. Their numerous bright colors waved and bobbed in the wind like ripples of sunbursts. The breeze began to grow stronger, and a faint sound of music reached my ears. It was slow and melodic, almost sounding like a piano… or a harp…

I was looking around for the source of it when I heard the sound of humming. It was deep and strong, and I shook my head to clear it. Who was humming? Before I knew it, I was completely relaxed and I slowly sat down, leaning my back against the red wall of the bathhouse. The humming grew louder as the wind increased, and the sound of faint singing enveloped me.

I furrowed my brow, not recognizing the voice that sung for me. I knew it was for me, I just knew it… I could feel it. I could almost hear the love that was pouring through that voice. It almost scared me, but I clung to the hope that it was true.

((Kentoku's POV))

As the wind surged, I let my voice carry out through it, my voice floating down to Rin only a floor below me. I sat on the roof above her head and she was completely unaware, entranced by the sounds of the wind. My stomach flipped, now was the time. Now was the moment of truth, the moment that I was going to fully admit it:

I was in love.

I hear music when I look at you
A beautiful theme of every dream I ever knew
Down deep in my heart, I hear it play
I can feel it start, then it melts away

Every time I looked at her, I could envision her laugh, the sound of her almost noiseless walk across the hardwood floor, the way her staff whizzed through the air to knock me down. I did not hear my back hit the floor, I never did. Instead I heard the way her voice rose when she asked her question, and the answer that my lips formed never registered in my mind, only her victorious laugh.

My heart beats the same way every time, a steady beat and tempo, creating a song. The way that it pulsed through my body was something I had never experienced before, and it thrilled me. At first I was wary, unsure, but now I leaped into the song every time.

Whenever I looked at her, the song in my heart would begin, and it would spread throughout my entire body, affecting my thoughts. It constantly pursued me, never leaving me alone for a second. After a while, I thrived on it, willing it to take over my senses every time she came into the room.

But the pain I felt every time she left was almost unbearable. I always wanted to grab her, pull her back toward me so the song would keep playing. Yet I managed to stay still, watching her leave without a thought of what she was doing to me with every step she took.

I hear music when I touch your hand
A beautiful melody from some enchanted land
Down deep in my heart, I hear it say
"Is this the day?"

When I mustered up the courage to reach for her, my skin would always feel shots of fire race up my arm, and my heart would beat in time. The feel of her smooth hand locked with mine slowed my fevered heart down, only to race again when she gave it a reassuring squeeze.

The smile she would always give me would halt the song, and her laugh would only ignite it. A few calm words from her lips could send my foulest tempers into oblivion, and could bring me back from the brink of disaster. Her sigh after a practice was like heaven was giving me a taste of the bells they rang. She seemed to sigh, as if wondering I would finally say it.

My heart agreed with her. It questioned me endlessly, beating fiercely to make its preference known. It wanted to spill everything and let her know just how important she was. But my lips only formed a goodbye or good night, leaving my heart's desire unfulfilled.

I alone have heard this lovely strain
I alone have heard this glad refrain
Must it be forever inside of me?
Why can't I let it go?
Why can't I let you know?

I racked my brain and tested my heart, wondering why the two would not connect. Why did they refuse to work together and achieve the only thing that I wanted from life? Why could I not say the words that I wanted to say, but leave them unspoken? I thought about it endlessly, letting the topic keep me up for hours on end. In the end, I came up with the simplest answer:

Rejection.

My heart did not want to, nor could it take, rejection. I was afraid that my heart was the only one that heard and felt this song, this race. I am afraid that is only I that feels this way, and that she just saw me as someone who would only take a place on her wall of triumphs. The thought was ridiculous; after all, this was Rin. But it did not matter, my brain, and a part of my heart, did not want to chance it.

I want to say something, everything, anything that will tell her just how I feel. I know that I am being held back for the most selfish of reasons, and the most idiotic, but that obstacle is there no matter how hard I try. Perhaps it is the feeling of not knowing, not knowing if I will be met halfway, or not being caught in my fall headlong into something I do not know.

Why can't I let you know the song my heart would sing?
Beautiful rhapsody of love and youth and spring
The music is sweet, and the words are true
The song is you

No matter how hard I tried, I could not force myself to say the words. Nothing came from my lips, ever, never the words I wanted spoken. I was a coward, through and through. Being unable to voice my feelings was something I took personal, and prayed that soon I would find the courage within myself to say something... anything.

But every time I looked at her, or anytime I saw a sparkle of gray or a wisp of brown locks, my heart would forget about my shame and just revel in the sound that my heart made. I am unsure if she ever heard it, and I was afraid that she did not know exactly what it meant for her. I loved her; there was nothing stronger than that, not in this world.

I have never felt this feeling, but I know it is true, that it is real. She is the reason that I feel like this, and I will forever remember that. I let my last note fade on the wind, standing up from my perch on the roof. I jumped down, letting the wind guide my feet to balance on the railing of her balcony.

Her gasp of surprise sent my heart beating into its steady rhythm, and my soul rose with the wind. She knew now that it was I, and now she knew just how I felt. Her eyes were wide and shocked, her hand over her open mouth. Her chest heaved from her leap to her feet, and she had never looked more beautiful to me then at that moment.

It seemed that right then, I knew everything. I had said the words I wanted to say, and they were mine alone, not someone else's. My voice was now a whisper that the wind had died down, and I gently stepped down, walking toward her and taking her hands in mine.

Why can't I let you know the song my heart would sing?
That beautiful rhapsody of love and youth and spring
The music is sweet, and the words are true
The song is you

I did not have a chance to speak after that. Rin threw her arms around me, crying her heart out. I slowly wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her gently. But once I felt her arms tightened around my neck, my own became steel and crushed her to me, burying my face in her long hair. Her fingers played with mine, and it sent my heart beating faster than it ever had before. I moved my head so it rested on her shoulder, my lips just mere centimeters from her ear. I took in a deep breath, reaching into my soul to pull out the words that I felt.

"Rin… I love you."

The words were faint and raspy, my voice spent from my singing. But she stiffened in my embrace, and my heart slowly began to rip. I was falling, and I had yet to be caught. The fear was gripping me, and I prayed that it would end. She looked up at me, her gray eyes overflowing with tears, and a beaming smile came across her face. I almost died in relief, the sensation washing over me. I had not been caught quite yet, but the fall was definitely less frightening now than it had been before.

"I love you too, Kentoku."

Her gentle and strong voice sent me over the edge, and I bent my head, gripping her hips as my shoulders began to shake. She touched my chest nervously, craning her neck to see my face, wondering what had happened to me.

Tears of relief washed down my face, utterly at peace. She loved me. That was it. She loved me. I was no longer alone anymore. The mere thought of it would have sent me reeling, but it was here… it was true. I could not stop it; the knowledge was a relief and a burden, weighing me down with the overwhelming feeling of compassion. She touched my face, and I just pulled her closer, crying into her hair. She would not have it, she wanted to see my face, my eyes… anything.

I pulled back for her, but only for a second before my hands gripped her face and pulled her lips towards mine as I kissed her with everything I had. She melted into me, and she could finally feel my heart. As I pulled her against me, I could feel hers as well.

Now they beat as one.

A/N: Yay, sweet RinxKentoku stuff so they're out of the way. NOW we get into more HakuxChihiro, I promise, and more plot. xD Aren't you all so happy! ((dances)) Now, the song... I was being VERY picky about the song I was going to use. I cannot believe that I was being so darn stubborn about having it perfect, which I sadly admit that I have really never done before... O.o This time I put a whole lot of thought into it, and this is what I came up with!

The Song Is You by Frank Sinatra!

Yes, I know, but get over it. I downloaded it and was sad to hear that it was a lively and upbeat song, but I just said, "Screw it, it's gonna be slow here!" And that is that. Here it is slow. ((lol))

Well, this is your "Happy New Year!" present because I couldn't crank it out before Christmas. So, hope you all had a good New Years, and a very wonderful Christmas! I know I did! ((dances with new cell phone))

MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION:

TO UPDATE FASTER.
- I am dead serious. No doubt you are all dancing in your seats at the thought. xD

Now, thank you to everyone who reviewed, and I'm so happy that you all are sticking with me through my slow updates!

Creation of a Dream
StrugglingArtist
firefarire93
Priestess Kohana
annoying-little-girl
Lillix Vail
XxLil-AngelxX
Kataan
mistress of mist
Arashi of the Red Scarf
White Dragon 01
Mushrambolover
NekoLuvsYou!!!
laramary

Thank you guys so much, your reviews mean so much to me! xD