Chapter 7

Hetty King, December 1876, Aged 17

Outside of getting married and having children - neither of which I have done - they say graduation day is suppose to be one of the happiest days in a person's life. It is that day when you say goodbye to school learning, and the stresses that go with it, and instead begin your path as a life learner. Countless times I have encountered people who consider their graduation day as the pinnacle of their academic career, a day when your own achievements are joyously celebrated in front of those who know and love you best. Those people who were so happy at their graduations often assume that my own graduation was a day of similar joy, when I was able to take my love of education and teaching to a higher echelon of education.

"You've changed Hetty."

Unfortunately those who assume are often wrong. The above sentence was the first thing my oldest brother Alec said to me, when my family arrived to my graduation. At thirteen years old Alec had the beginnings of a true gentlemen, but still retained much of his boyish charms. Although he was young, Alec always had the greatest capabilities of reading people. And, although he had no clue of what had happened, I had yet to say one one and he already knew what I was trying to hide. The only question was how much did he know, how much had I accidentally given away to him. As he went to hug me I stuck out my hand, he was a young man now, young men don't go around hugging there sisters, they kiss there sisters hand, or shake it, as a proper gentleman would.

My next youngest sibling was Roger. At eight years old he was growing like a weed, both upwards and outwards, with my father home to work on the farm something told me that Roger had had a bit of free time on his hands and did not pursue anything outside his book collection. I would have to peak his interest in something, and do so quickly, so he would not turn into such a lump. Perhaps I could interest him in something like geology, I thought, he certainly had the aptitude for it. "You stopped writing." he said in a tone that was half angry and half sulky.

"I made you something" said five year old Ruth as she handed me a card. On bright white paper it had a Ruth drawn picture of something that looked somewhat like a human in a graduation gown. "It's you Hetty."

"So I can see." I tried my best to give her a smile "you've done a wonderful job, your drawing has improved immensely." Even though I felt a though I could cry at any moment, Ruths smile made me happy, and helped me forget the pain, if just for a brief moment.

Several months ago I had begun running what would happen on this day in my mind. As I imagined it I would not only being seeing my beloved family for the first time since August, but I also thought I would be introducing them to the man I had fallen in love with. And while I had been planning on breaking things off with him, it seemed like fate decided to spare me that trouble, but instead thought to break my heart. Not a month earlier the man I had loved; Wallace Duncan, had been struck by an errant cart and horse driven by a man lacking in strong moral character. Now here I was the day that I had dreamed of for so long, looked to with great expectations, and I wanted nothing more than to run off, hide myself away and cry.

The only problem was that I couldn't. As of that day I was an adult, an adult who would soon be working, and back in her place taking care of the children and the farmhouse. While I wanted to linger in grief and run away from the world, the world had now come back to me, whether I wanted it or not. I had kept Wallace a secret from my family, as well as friends, in Avonlea. The only people who knew about Wallace were those who I went to school with, and one Avonlea girl who I had attended school here with.

The girls name was Muriel Stacey, a seemingly nice girl, Muriel, in my opinion, tended to put airs upon herself, and no more so then when she learned that she had one the gold medal for academic achievement for this term. Between my homesickness, unpreparedness and grief I had been very lucky to come second in our class, the silver medal winner. However, no one ever remembers those who came in second place. Instead of my achievements mattering, all of Avonlea focused there attentions on the gold medal Muriel. But, that is for another story, one I may tell later.

That graduation day was hard for me for a number of reasons, not only the ones I have previously mentioned, but also for the fact that I had been gone from my siblings for almost five months. In those five months I had been particularly bad at writing letters, sending news or even acknowledging their presence. Because of this, and with all the reason in the world, all except Ruth seemed angry, or upset with me, and no more so than my youngest baby sister, Olivia.

At four years old, Olivia had turned out to be more like a daughter to me than a sister. Yet, five months ago I just up and left her. Of course I tried my hardest to explain what was happening and where I was going. However, she never really fully understood. Instead of being able to run to my bed when she had a nightmare, and being able to sleep with me at night, Olivia had to run to either Alec, Roger or Ruth, none of whom were really good at soothing the young girl who has so easily prone to excitement. As she told me several years later, with my leaving Olivia felt very much alone in the world. I, the one person who had been constant and loving was gone from her life, and while there were others who loved her, none shared such as bond as we did. Now, after five months Olivia was highly wary of me. When I went to hold her she swatted my hand away and gave me a look that suggested that if I try to touch her again she would scream.

Thankfully there was one person who didn't hate me. "Hetty, look at you, you must have grown an inch since I've seen you last, and even prettier than ever." My father, for all his sweet compliments and kind word was lying through his teeth. But, I have never been one to turn down a compliment.

Knowing it would soon be time for the ceremony to begin I went and helped my family to find a place to sit. As they took their seats each of my siblings - even little Olivia - gave me a quick hug and quick words of advice. I shall share them in the order that they were given (Alec, Roger, Ruth and Olivia).

"Whatever happened, you don't deserve any sadness today" Alec whispered in my ear. He covered up his original piece of advice by saying, quite loudly, "Remember to smile"

"Will you wave to me? I'm going to wave to you even if you won't" Roger smiled, but he still hadn't quite got over my writing snub.

"You look like a princess. Princesses use their manners." Before I had left for college I had been giving Ruth a hard time about her manners, it seemed that maybe my lessons had began to sink in, not in the most traditional way, but at least she was learning.

I honestly didn't expect Olivia to hug me, especially after her mini outburst, albeit silent, earlier. However, when it was her turn she lifted her arms up, meaning she wanted me to pick her up, so I did. As I held her she hugged my neck "I wuv you Hebby." she whispered "don't fawl down" she smiled as she pulled back. As she looked me in the eyes I saw something that almost left me dumbstruck, something I had never previously noticed. At four years old my sister had my mothers eyes. Looking at her was like looking at mother all over again, and they made me calm.

As I handed her back to our father I pressed my forehead against hers which made her giggle silently. My father didn't offer any advice or hugs, but he did give one of his special smiles, the ones I had only ever seen him give to mother. It was then I realized that while I may have been hurting, my family was always there for me, and as I walked towards the other graduates I offered a silent promise to both god and my mother that for as long as I lived I would always be there for my family, no matter what.

A/N - So, how are you liking it ( or not). What would you like to see more or less of? Tell me what you think in a review (I can't make things better without constructive criticism). Love - V :)