The two sat together in silence for a short time, while Steve's mind was racing, how the hell would they go on from here? Steve had already used all his will power to stop himself from leaning over and kissing Danny, touching Danny, being close to Danny. His body wanted him but his mind was still very cautious, it still hadn't healed itself from that moment at Kono's house.
That's when it hit Steve; maybe he was having trouble moving on because they hadn't ever talked about what happened. It was impossible to move on because there was no room to move. Steve couldn't bear talking to Danny about it when it first happened; he had hurt him too much. Thinking back on it, Steve kinda wished he had spoken up, he almost felt like by not talking about it and sharing his feelings to Danny, had made the situation even worse. But now, after letting it sink in for maybe too long, now was a good time to let it out in the air.
"I think we should talk about what happened," Steve said, not looking at Danny, so he didn't have to see his reaction.
"You're right, we need to get it out in the open," Danny replied.
Danny turned himself towards Steve to fully grasp his attention. Steve was building himself up to look at Danny, maybe once the conversation got started, he would have the strength to do so. Steve had no idea where to start; luckily Danny did it for him.
"I'm so sorry. I hate myself for what I did to you, for what I did to us. I was freaking out about our relationship. Not so much that we are…gay… just the fact that I was in a relationship that meant more to me than anything in my entire life….
… I don't know, after all the shit back in Jersey, though I know I shouldn't use my past as excuse, but all that really wrecked me. Every relationship, whether it was friends or family or partners, I've lost. I lost the meaning of trust and honesty…
… I guess what I'm trying to say is that day when I pushed you away; it was my own fucked up way of being so scared that I was going to lose you too. I panicked and did the only thing I knew how to, push people away. It's the only way I know I won't get my heart trampled on, because otherwise people leave me with absolutely nothing," Danny said, feeling the honest his felt in a long time.
Steve couldn't help but look at Danny after such a moving speech. He knew that Danny had had trouble in his past, but he didn't realize just how bad it had affected him. Steve took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment.
Steve quickly moved over and planted a passionate and daring kiss on Danny's lips. All the longing and feelings he had ever felt for Danny was in that kiss. It had been so long since he had touched Danny's lips, and he made sure he savored it up. The kiss took Danny by surprise at first, but he too needed it. He placed his hands on Steve's cheek and squeezed hard to make the kiss even more intense. Steve had his eyes shut so tight, every fiber in his body felt Danny's lips, it tingled throughout his body.
Steve pulled away suddenly; his mind had kicked back in and taken over his body's desires. He shot straight up and away from Danny.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this. I've been strong up to this point, I can't stop now. Danny, I can't forgive you. You hurt me too much. I want to forgive you, you don't know how bad," Steve said, the words almost impossible to say.
Danny rubbed his lips, his skin warm and red from the intensity of the kiss. He stood up and brushed the sand off his hands. He stared out into the ocean, afraid if he looked at Steve he would smash into a million pieces.
"Don't be sorry. I'm just glad I got to share everything with you," Danny said and shuffled off back to his house.
Steve ran his fingers through his hair. He almost felt mad at himself, he wanted Danny, and yet he didn't. There was something missing, something that he couldn't budge. If he could, he felt like he would easily be able to let Danny back into his life with no trouble at all. He took a walk down the beach to clear his mind.
The next day, Steve met up with Catherine, Chin and Kono for the routine Saturday morning breakfast. He had hardly slept last night in the tent. Luckily he didn't hear his parents fighting once he got back from his walk, but his mind just wouldn't turn off. All he thought about was Danny, and all the different scenarios in his head of how things would have panned out after that kiss if his mind hadn't told him different.
Chatter at breakfast wasn't the usual this morning. Steve told his friends everything about last night, he felt open enough to be able to tell them everything that happened, everything he felt, everything Danny had shared with him. He needed support from his friends this time, they cared for him, maybe a little too much, but they just wanted what was best for him.
All of them sat in silence after Steve had told them everything. For some strange reason Steve saw Chin smiling. This wasn't really a time to be smiling; Steve had just put his heart on the table, he felt stupid enough sharing so many emotions with his friends.
"What are you smiling at?" Steve asked.
"Nothing. Well there's just something I didn't tell you about that day Danny came and apologized to me. I really hated what he did to you, and I just didn't want to see you back with him, in case he hurt you again," Chin replied.
"What did he tell you?" Steve asked, very curious to know.
Chin darted his eyes around the room before looking up to Steve directly. "He told me he loved you."
"Oh," Steve said, not really able to say anything else.
Before he could think about anything, Catherine spoke up. "Yeah, he told me that too. At school when he talked to me about it."
"What? He told you too, why didn't either of you tell me?"
Catherine was almost acting casual, "Well we decided not to, because we didn't want him to hurt you again."
"Oh right, well thanks very much," Steve said. He wanted to jump and leave everyone, but Chin had driven him to the diner this morning and it would take like an hour to walk home.
Steve took a few deep breaths; he was mad and grateful at his friends at the same time. He loved how much they cared for him, but he just wished they had said something earlier. Danny loved him? He knew that he liked him a lot and cared about him, but he never really thought that Danny could love him like Steve loved him. Wait what?
"I love him too," Steve said, the words escaping his mouth.
Kono blushed and put her fingers up towards her mouth, she was so happy for Steve. Sure she was good at keeping secrets, but not telling Steve that Danny loved him was a tough one to keep. But Catherine and Chin had made her pinkie promise and that was hard to break.
"So what the hell do I do now?" Steve asked all of them.
"What do you want to do?" Catherine asked.
"I don't know, I mean it's different now," Steve said, with a giant grin forming.
"Well that smile seems to answer your own question," Chin said with a sparkle in his eye.
"Do you think I should? I mean are you guys okay with it?" Steve said, not really even listening anymore.
"Yeah! What are you waiting for?" Kono said and reached over to pass Chin his car keys.
"Thanks guys, well I think I thank you. I'm not really thinking at the moment," Steve said, as Chin directed him out of the diner and into the parking lot.
Chin pulled up outside Danny's house; Steve rubbed his hands together and looked over at Chin.
"Thanks, I really appreciate it. Everything," Steve said.
"Good luck," Chin said.
Steve jumped out of the car and straightened himself out. He hadn't really thought about what he would say or do, all he knew that he had to see Danny right at this very moment. He raced to the front door and knocked hard. It felt like a lifetime waiting for someone to answer the door, he could hear footsteps growing louder towards the door.
It was Danny's Mom, "Hi Steven."
"Hi Mrs Williams, is Danny here?" Steve said, polite on the outside, yet highly impatient on the inside.
"Yeah, come on in," she said and invited him in. She walked him down the passage way towards Danny's room, where Danny was laying on the bed reading.
Mrs Williams went to the kitchen, which was right opposite Danny's bedroom. Steve was too preoccupied to notice that Mrs Williams was packing things from the kitchen into boxes and that Danny's room had open suitcases in them.
"What are you doing here?" Danny said, sitting up on the bed.
"Come with me," Steve said sternly and grabbed Danny's arm.
Danny had no idea what was going on, Steve was acting very strange, he was very assertive and held a tight grip. Steve led Danny down to the beach and made him walk down the shore for a few minutes without any explanation. He finally stopped and turned Danny to face him.
"Can you tell me what is going on?" Danny said, with a serious look in his eyes.
Steve grinned, almost out of breath from the extra energy.
"I love you," Steve said and grabbed onto Danny's hands.
Danny squinted at Steve before breaking into a bigger smile, "I love you too."
"I want to be with you. I need to be with you. I'm being lame," Steve said.
"We can be lame together," Danny replied, with the cheesiest grin.
Danny lent into Steve and pressed his lips against his. He wrapped his arms around Steve's shoulder and stood on his toes. Steve pushed his fingers through Danny's hair and pressed his forehead close to Danny's. Their lips opened and their tongues collided and moved together slowly. Both of them smiled while they made out, laughing with each other instead of taking breaths.
After a very long while, they both pulled away, completely spent. They left their foreheads together and remained very close.
"There's something I have to tell you, but I don't want to," Danny whispered.
"What?" Steve said with his eyes closed, his hands perched on Danny's hips.
"My Mom and I are moving. My aunt is well enough to move to a better hospital in California," Danny said, his hands placed softly on Steve's cheeks.
Steve pulled himself away from Danny, "Are you serious?"
Thanks guys for the lovely and helpful reviews! I sort of collaborated all of them together because I thought they were all good ideas :) Anyways, I hope you like it!