Breakable

A Fan Fiction written by Naoki-onee and FishFriend

Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight, New Moon or Grey's Anatomy.

Note: This song is Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) by Fergie. It fit almost perfectly, and we like this chapter. So here you go!

------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3: I Shouldn't Cry

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
you're probably on your flight back to your home town

I made it as far as the front hall, and then tripped, sprawling across the ground. I picked myself up, but someone was already there, helping me to my feet. Alice. I gawked as I saw her dust me off, and then examine me. "Wow, Bella, you look…different." she said in a casual tone. "Izzy." I choked out, "My name is Izzy." But I just starred over her shoulder; out through the giant glass windows with outlined the double doors that could mean freedom from all of this…


I need some shelter of my own protection baby
to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

And then I felt the electrifying force behind me. I knew he was here. Edward, that was. I didn't dare turn, and I kept my eyes fixated just above Alice's head, out the window and into the forest. "Alice, there you are. I've been looking around-" and that velvet voice stopped short. Right about then Carlisle appeared, and his presence probably stopped Edward from running away from me that very moment. After all, he didn't love me. I was probably just some nuisance he wanted to forget about.


I hope you know, I hope you know
that this has nothing to do with you

"Edward, maybe we should just calm do-" Carlisle started to say, but Edward was already around Alice, and grasping me on the shoulders firmly. "Bella?!" I didn't look at him, just continued to stare out the window. He didn't love me. I had given him my heart, and he had shattered it. Then he had come back and mended it perfectly, then broken it to pieces again. Perhaps beyond repair.


It's personal, myself and I
we've got some straightening' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

The tears started flowing then. And I shouldn't cry about this, how Edward seemed like he wouldn't even care a bit about me. It was true, but I still should not have cried. Because I wasn't weak anymore! I was Izzy Swan (Soon to be Mrs. Izzy Durkin), and I would not be seen as a weak little human. I was strong.


But I've got to get a move on with my life
its time to be a big girl now
and big girls don't cry


So I held the tears back and said it again, the same thing I had said to Carlisle, "Bella died, I'm Izzy now." Pushing his hands off me easily, probably because of the shock of what I'd said, I turned around and bumped into Alice again. "Excuse me." I tried to move but Alice kept me in place. "Bella, Bella. You should at least listen to him! Please Bella!" I wanted to scream in her face and tell her to move, but if I screamed I'd cry and I would not cry. If I did anything I'd cry, it just hurt so much. He's never loved me, he never would, but I'd found someone who did and now he was here to ruin that too.

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown

At last I managed to say something, "Fine." My voice sounded strange to even myself so I shut up and stared at the ground, I would have to zombify myself to get through this. "Bella-Iz… Bella" my brain barely registered that Edward had decided on using my old name instead of Izzy, but the message that told me to be angry never made it. Why was I acting this way? I wasn't weak... I shouldn't love him. It was wrong of me.


Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I wasn't looking at him, I was looking at anywhere but he but I still noticed when he turned to Carlisle and barely hid a whisper, "I didn't come here for her Carlisle." I knew it was what I wanted to hear but apparently my body thought otherwise. Edward kept talking slightly louder now, "I came to look for Alice, not you. I didn't know you were here. If anyone else knew they didn't tell me." I stared at the lush outside. How I wanted out of this, my own personal nightmare I knew if I stayed here I lose it.


I hope you know, I hope you know
that this has nothing to do with you

So I tried to push though Alice but she wouldn't let me go. I tried again and again, my eyes still locked in the grass that was becoming steadily darker as the rain poured harder. Finally I got fed up and shoved Alice out of my way. She moved only because of her shock. Rushing past everyone else I made it through the glass doors and out to the cold, wet twilight.


It's personal, myself and I
we've got some straightening' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

I ran into the forest, my tears falling faster than the rain. I ,at least, took care to stay close to the road but still hidden by the trees. After what seemed like hours I heard someone behind me but didn't turn. "Iz! Are you ok? Izzy?" it was Patrick's voice, he was coming for me. I didn't want anyone now. Anyone. He caught up with me and put a hand on my shoulder which I shrugged away. "Iz, what happened?" he tried to hug me but I put my hands up.


But I've got to get a move on with my life
its time to be a big girl now
and big girls don't cry

"No." I managed to croak out through the tears. I caught the look on his face, pure shock, but I kept on walking. I couldn't face him like this, not now. It all just hurt too much, to have that little piece of me that still loved Edward completely shattered. Zombified, I kept on walking and crying. It reminded me of the first time he left me, except now it was worse because I had no hope to cling to anymore. He'd been my everything, all but shattered my hart and just when I was beginning to move on. Then he came and finished the job.


Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and undo cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine

But he meant nothing. He shouldn't mean anything to me at all. Edward had broken me. Broken me to a point where I couldn't recognize up from down. And this scared me. Angela had brought me through this, and for that I was eternally grateful. Even if I still wasn't myself (and probably never would be) at least I had Angela. And Patrick. And this job that I was good at.


Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
It's getting late, dark outside

My job was something entirely different. It was my whole world to me. It was one of the few things I had life. And where I had failed so many times before in so many different things, this was one thing I could be sure of. I could be sure of the job not leaving me. This was one of the only sure things in my world.


But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
and big girls don't cry

I was Isabella Swan. I wasn't weak anymore. So I shouldn't cry.