Castiel felt peaceful. He was sprawled out on something impossibly soft and warm. He sighed and rolled over. At the movement, a sickening pain exploded in his head. His eyes sprang open and his vision was full of Dean. The hunter was sitting in a chair beside the couch Cas was on, watching him. His face was perfectly blank, his eyes unreadable. Cas sat up slowly, wincing at the throbbing in his head.

"Hello, Dean," he said quietly.

Dean didn't answer. Castiel's heart was in his throat because Dean was obviously upset. This was it, he was going to throw him out, and he would deserve it. Dean stood and pulled Cas roughly from the couch by the lapels of his coat, staring intently at his face. Cas closed his eyes and waited for fists to rain down on him. He would not lift one finger against Dean to stop him; he would never strike his friend again after what happened with Naomi. But the blow never came. The next thing Castiel knew, he was in Dean's arms. He had jerked him forward by the coat and wrapped his arms around him tightly.

Dean was hugging him. Not like he had in Purgatory, when he had radiated tension and weariness and fear. This time Dean exuded relief and happiness to see him. His eyes sprung open in surprise. When Cas had been an angel, he had never hugged Dean back. He didn't see the point. Hugs held no comfort for him. But inexplicably, warmth radiated throughout Castiel's body. Happiness, he thought. This is happiness. For the first time ever, Castiel raised his arms and wrapped them around Dean's waist, holding him tight. At the contact, everything he had been ignoring came rushing back, and he couldn't stop the tears that suddenly spilled from his eyes. He gasped, trying to hold it all in.

"Shhhh. Hey, Cas, buddy it's okay. I gotcha."

And that was it. Cas couldn't keep in inside any longer. He buried his face in Dean's shoulder and started sobbing. Dean navigated them both so they were sitting on the couch and held his friend while he cried. He felt none of the awkwardness that he had when it had been Kevin crying. He just held Cas like he had held his brother when Sammy was little and gotten upset: rocking him gently, stroking his hand through Cas' dirty hair, and rubbing soothing circles on his back.

Cas started babbling between sobs. He told Dean everything; about him confronting Metatron and Naomi's death. When he got to the part about how Metatron had tied him down and cut out his grace, Dean tensed. Cas just kept going, getting more and more hysterical. He cried even harder and said, "And my wings are gone Dean. After my grace was taken they were just ripped from my body. I begged for it to stop. I prayed to you. Dean I can't fly anymore, I don't know. Please just..."

After that Cas was incoherent. He sobbed like he was broken. Dean closed his eyes in pain at the agony Cas had been forced to endure. After all the times Dean had prayed to Cas, this time Cas had prayed for Dean to save him, and Dean hadn't been there. He was filled with rage at what Metatron had done, and swore in that moment to make him pay. He held his friend close, until Cas had cried himself out. When he pulled away there was a big wet spot on Dean's shirt.

"Feel better?" he asked.

Cas thought about it and tilted his head to the side. "Yes, although I don't understand why. This has changed nothing."

"You're human now, Cas. It doesn't have to make sense. People just feel better after they cry. It's the way we are."

Cas looked up at Dean. Their eyes locked. Something Cas didn't understand was happening to his heart. It had picked up speed, electricity was crackling through his veins, and he felt heat in his cheeks. Dean's gaze darkened, eyes changing from bright green to the color of trees in a thunderstorm. Castiel might not have understood what was happening, but he did know he didn't want it to stop.

The spell was broken when Castiel's stomach let out a huge growl. Dean chuckled and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Dean, my body has been making strange noises. I don't understand." Castiel looked confused. Dean smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Cas looked like a lost puppy, and it was downright adorable.

"You're hungry, Cas. You have to take care of your body. You have to remember to eat and sleep now that you're human. And shower. You go shower. I'll find you some clothes and I'll fix you some grub."

Cas frowned, and Dean picked up on it. "I can show you if you need it."

"I know the theory of it, but I don't know how to work the shower," said Cas.

Dean led Castiel to the bathroom. He talked him through how to operate the shower. He showed him all the different bottles and told him what soap went where. Cas nodded and then stepped into the shower fully clothed. Dean laughed.

"No, Cas, you have to take your clothes off."

Cas frowned and then started stripping. Dean turned bright red.

"Wait, Cas! Not in front of me. Alone. You get naked alone."

Castiel tilted his head again and listened to Dean's explanation about towels and the laundry basket for soiled clothing. When Cas seemed like he understood what to do, Dean left the bathroom and headed down the hall to his room. After a few moments of rummaging through the drawers, Dean found a pair of jeans with the knees ripped out and an old AC/DC shirt that had shrunk in the dryer. They looked like they would fit. Dean grabbed a pair of boxers and some socks and headed back to Cas. He opened the bathroom door to set the clothes on the counter and saw the silhouette of Castiel, naked. Dean's mouth went dry, and his breathing deepened. He left the clothes and quietly closed the door behind him.

Dean headed to the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients for cheeseburgers. He absently threw them in the pan, lost in thought. Dean hadn't been attracted to a man in years. He had never told anyone except Sam, but Dean was bisexual. He had never slept with a guy; the furthest he had ever gotten was getting jerked off by Mitchel Robertson when he was 17. He had never met a man he cared for enough to sleep with, but Dean couldn't deny that he was attracted to Cas. He had been for years; he had just never done anything about it because of the whole angel thing. But now Cas was human like him. Dean let out a sigh. He couldn't approach Cas with this. He had just become human. How could he tell an angel of the Lord that he has the hots for him? Didn't angels look down on the whole gay thing? No, he couldn't do that to Cas. He was terrified to mess things up between them. He couldn't lose him. Friendship would have to be enough.

Dean frowned and pulled the burgers out of the frying pan. He topped them with cheese, onion, tomato, and ketchup and put a mountain of Doritos on each plate. When he turned around, Cas was standing in the doorway watching him. He looked amazing. The t shirt fit just right, tight around his chest. Something about Castiel wearing Dean's clothes was ridiculously hot. His hair was fluffy and stuck up in all directions from the vigorous towel drying it had received, his blue eyes were curious, yet intense, studying every move Dean made. It took his breath away.

"I believe I am clean, Dean," said Cas.

Dean smiled at his friend. "Looks like it," he said.

Dean gestured at the table. Cas took a seat, watching Dean. His head still hurt, but the shower had made him feel less sore. He picked up the food and took a tentative bite. Flavor exploded over his taste buds. The noise that came out of his mouth was positively pornographic. Cas dug in and Dean set a glass of water before him. Cas drank, and the scratchy feeling in his throat vanished. He drained the glass in a few large gulps and Dean refilled it for him. He was reminded of the time that Cas had been taken from his vessel. Jimmy Novak had eaten with the same intensity.

"Cas, if you're human, what happened to Jimmy?" asked Dean.

Cas took another bite. "When God resurrected me the first time, it was without Jimmy. His soul is at rest in Heaven."

Dean nodded, relieved. Castiel finished his food. His fingers rubbed at his temples. Dean grabbed some aspirin and gave a few pills to the former angel. Cas washed them down with water as Dean grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink. He cleaned the gash of Castiel's forehead with peroxide.

"How'd this happen anyway?"

"I crashed a motor vehicle," said Cas.

"You were driving?" Dean was alarmed. He didn't think Cas knew how to drive.

"I learned from watching you and Sam." Cas frowned. "Where is Sam?"

"He's sleeping. The trials really took it out of him. Cas, do you know if he's going to get better?"

"I don't know." Cas looked sad. "We will simply have to research until we find a way to fix this. We will help Sam."

Dean nodded then went back to cleaning the abrasion on Castiel's skin. "This is pretty deep Cas."

"Will it require stitches?" asked Cas.

"Nah, I have something else here." Dean pulled out a bottle of Derma-bond. He squirted a line into the cut and squished the sides together. When the liquid stitches had dried, the gash was held together. It now looked like a thin scratch. "Good as new," said Dean, "Gotta keep you looking pretty."

Castiel felt the heat rise in his cheeks again and felt pleased that Dean found him attractive. He felt he should return the favor, so he said, "I find you attractive as well, Dean."

Dean spit the water he had been drinking everywhere in shock. "Uh, thanks Cas," he stammered.

Cas smiled at him. It was gorgeous. Castiel never smiled as an angel, but his new found humanity was bleeding through. Human expressions were coming naturally to him now. His eyes crinkled at the corner, bright blue and sparking with mischief; dimples popped up on his cheeks. Castiel's smile was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen. He blinked rapidly and shook his head like a dog. "I, uh, I need to take some food to Crowley."

Cas nodded and started eating Doritos out of the bag. Dean took the plate down the hall to Crowley's room. He opened the door to find Crowley awake, reading the book from the nightstand. He looked up as Dean entered the room.

"Hey, Crowley. I brought lunch." Crowley gave him a little smile. Dean sighed and approached the bed, retrieving the handcuff keys from his pocket. He unlocked the smaller man from his bonds.

"You're letting me go?" asked the former demon, incredulous.

"Not quite," said Dean. "I'm letting you out of the cuffs, but you can't leave the bunker. There's no telling what would happen to you out there. So I'll unlock these, but you have to promise not to leave."

"I promise," said Crowley. Dean unlocked the cuffs and showed him where the bathroom was. Then he left to go back to Castiel.

Cas was waiting for Dean when he returned. "May I see Sam?" he asked.

"Of course, dude. You don't have to ask."

They got up from the table and took off to Sam's room. Cas looked at Sam's face with sorrow. He wished he could take all Sam's pain away; he didn't deserve this. Castiel looked up at Dean. "Do we know what the trials did to him yet?" he asked.

"Not yet. Kevin is working on it." As if on cue, Kevin burst into the room. He didn't even seem to notice Cas. "Dean, I have to talk to you," he said.

Dean ushered him out of the room and into the hall. "The tablet," The Prophet began, "I found something on it. It talked about how the trials cleanse the person doing them. It purifies them; expels evil from their body."

Dean was drawing up a blank, but Cas understood. "The demon blood," he said, "The trials were cleansing Azazel's blood from his body. That's why his molecular structure was changing."

Dean looked confused. "Isn't that good? Getting rid of the demon blood?"

"Yes, it should be," said Cas, "But not when he is stuck halfway like this. The imbalance in his blood is killing him. His body has had demon blood his entire life. Without it his organs will slowly stop functioning. We have to do something, or Sam is going to die."

Dean was as white as a sheet. "Skip to the part about how to fix it," he said roughly. Castiel closed his eyes and thought for a moment, sifting through the vast store of knowledge in his head. "We have two options. We can give Sam more demon blood-"

"No." said a voice behind them. Sam had woken up. He was unsteady on his feet, but he looked determined.

"Sammy-"started Dean.

"No." he said firmly, "Find something else. I'd rather die than go down that road again."

Castiel continued before there was an argument. "There is another option. We could find a way to finish purifying Sam's blood. If we can find a powerful enough cleansing ritual, we can finish what the trials started. But those are our only two options, and we have to hurry, or you are going to waste away, Sam."

"Well then, looks like we've got work to do."

Castiel was sitting in a field. It was nice; there were flowers and insects everywhere. He felt at peace. But then the sky darkened. Lightening cracked across the horizon. Suddenly there was a loud noise behind him. He turned around and saw Dean fighting with a demon. It hit him over and over again, bloodying his face. Cas started running at him. He heard the sickening crunch of bone as Dean's nose broke. "Dean!" he screamed. The demon turned and saw Cas. An evil smile took over its face and its eyes flashed pure black. It wheeled around, pulling a knife from its jacket. "Dean, look out!" he screamed. The knife glinted wickedly in the lightening flashing around the sky before it was plunged into Dean's heart. "No!" screamed Castiel. The demon vanished, and Cas finally reached his hunter. "No, no, Dean, NO!"

"Cas," whispered Dean through bloodstained lips.

"I can heal you, Dean I'll heal you, it's okay."

Castiel laid his hands on the hunter and reached for the familiar pull of his grace swirling inside of him. There was nothing there. "No," he said. He laid his hands on the hunter. Nothing happened. "No, no, DEAN! DEAN PLEASE! "

"Cas," whispered Dean. A shuddering breath was released from his mouth. Dean was dead.

"Dean?" Cas shook him and he lay unmoving, his beautiful green eyes open and seeing nothing. Castiel began to scream.

Dean was jolted awake by a bloodcurdling scream. He sat upright as the screeching started again. It was Cas. Dean threw the covers off, grabbed his handgun off his nightstand and sprinted for Castiel's room. He burst through the door to see Cas thrashing in his bed, his legs tangled in the blankets. His eyes were screwed shut and he was sucking in breath to scream again. Dean dropped the gun on the floor and ran to the bed.

"Cas!" he shook him hard. "Cas, wake up!"

Castiel's eyes flew open. "Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas. You okay?"

"Dean, I don't understand you were dead. I couldn't save you Dean. You died." His voice broke, and Cas flung himself into Dean's arms and started to howl in misery.

"I'm okay, Cas. It was just a nightmare. It wasn't real."

"Dean." Cas just held him close and cried himself out. When he was quiet again, Dean pulled back and looked at his face. "You okay?" Cas shook his head. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked. Cas took a deep breath and told him the dream. When he was finished there were tears in his eyes again. He looked at the hunter like a man in the desert who had found water. He tentatively raised his hand and placed it on Dean's muscular chest over his heart. When he could feel Dean's heartbeats, he noticeably relaxed. Dean's breathing deepened and his eyes fluttered shut. Castiel felt something he didn't understand begin to rise inside of him. His blood quickened and his breathing sped up. He had no idea what to call the emotion rising inside of him until the flesh between his legs began to harden and ache. Desire. This was desire.

Castiel was utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. He and Dean had always shared a profound bond. He had never suspected that their bond ran this deep, but now that he was freed from the emotionless mindset of an angel, it felt nice. It felt right, but he had never felt desire before; he didn't know what to do about it, or if Dean could ever feel the same.

Dean was looking into his angels eyes. The normally bright blue had darkened to the turbulent cobalt of a stormy sea. He watched Castiel's breathing speed up and his lips part. He was so beautiful, Dean wanted nothing more than to close the short distance between them and press their mouths together. It would be soft and warm. He wanted to nip and suck at those perfect lips, and tangle his fingers in the downy locks of his hair.

Dean stood suddenly, trying to get away before he did exactly what he was thinking. "Are you good, Cas?"

"No," said Cas, averting his eyes. "I'm afraid I'll have another nightmare." He looked embarrassed, but whispered, "Will you stay with me?" He looked up at Dean, smoldering eyes ringed with thick, smoky lashes. Dean didn't stand a chance. "Okay, yeah." answered Dean in a husky voice. He approached the bed and pulled back the covers. Castiel lay down and made room for Dean to slide in next to him, close but not touching. The hunter was a furnace radiating heat. They both relaxed and were soon fast asleep.

The next morning, Castiel woke in Dean's arms. He felt warm and safe. His head was resting on Dean's chest, arms wrapped around his waist, their legs tangled together. Cas allowed himself to bask for a moment when Dean began to stir. Castiel pretended to be asleep. He didn't know how Dean would react and he wanted to give him an opportunity to leave without awkwardness. That's when he felt plush lips press to his forehead in a soft kiss. Dean squeezed him a little tighter and gently extracted himself. When Cas heard the shower start, he opened his eyes and smiled. It appeared Dean knew exactly how profound their bond was. He just had to show him that he knew it too.