ok, this is just a start. and I have no idea if it works so I would really appreciate any comments on how I could make it work better.
Chapter 5
"well, first off, how much do you know already?" Kyra looks at me suspiciously, as I am lifted softly off the floor. I search my memories, there is little on the list I make. A small list I trust her with, although I guess this kind of trust won't lead her to death, am I correct. I search my thoughts for an answer, but I just feel weak, cold and beaten. Scared of the fairy tales that live as nightmares in my head. I give in, almost tricking myself into performing a mock bow, but my legs are too weak. I tell her about the lightning, the eyes, there's not really much else. until she hears the next bit.
I re-position myself, still uncomfortable leaning on Nex, and yet I trust him to hold me up. I look her in the eyes, remembering the yellow hue of the sun, and the deepest chocolate. The air is still, unlike mere minutes ago, and every abstract detail in the tree line leaps out at me. I trace the circle of the sun before I answer.
"And there the strange veins, and the throbbing in my hand" I animate my face like i'm ill, and to be honest I am pretty sure I am. I catch myself, wanting to cry, and let the tears wait, and they won't have to wait too long. I stretch out my arm, opening and closing my hand from flat to fist, allowing a buzzing to drown me, deep silver flowing through my body. Warm tingling, like a hot chocolate on a snow day, although I have only ever ha hot chocolate once, that wasn't the best if ideas. I chuckle to myself remembering the look on my foster parents face.
Kyra looks at me as if I am wounded, as if a am a little insignificant animal, but im not.. i'm stronger than anyone here, physically that is. Mentally i'm as useful as a ship with no base. Still her eyes look at me with sorrow, but deep with in excitement. and for no reason I mirror that. My gut turns, and leaps inside me, anger and fear swelling.
Kyras eyes do not soften, they watch as polished as a knife blade. Her arm lifts into the air in front of her. "your like me" she watches my eyes closely, and I flick up to hers for a second before fixing my gaze onto the black veins swirling like ivy up her wrists. It reminds me of food colouring, or some tacky bit of Halloween make-up. But the thing that frightens me, I can plainly see its real. Her eyes glow yellow, so bitter it makes me want to be sick, the sour taste tickles the back of my throat, sweat air riding with the wind. I pass between two possibilities. one I am dreaming, or two they are just playing some kind of joke on me, but before I move my hand to pinch myself soothing catches the corner of my eye.
My heart it thumping wildly, leaping up from its natural position. I give a small yelp of surprise, and I turn away to try and maintain what dignity I have left, but I can now see Nex's eyes, and he knows the revelation hurts. Burning, I feel like some things burning. my hands my eyes, and something is clawing at my chest, clawing. Just like my nightmares.
The fur covered beast, with fearsome claws. its eyes glow, one yellow and one red, like blood as a trail of crimson curls up from under the eye to the back of the ear, a honey dew yellow mimicking its crimson twin. The beast watches my shadow, swirling along the forest floor.
Then come the claws, digging into my chest, feeling like something is getting in, except I watch in horror as the claws work there way out. "SHADOW WOLF" flashes past my eyes dripping in blood so vivid I can almost smell it. taunting whispers tangling with my thoughts. 'don't be afraid of the big bad wolf, with claws that rip and snatch. don't be afraid of the shadows, don't wait in the dark. The shadow wolf is coming for you, following your path," That's the point I wake up, beads of sweat rolling down my face and I scream into my pillow.
I look to Kyra, the words repeating in my head, just in my head, "don't be afraid of the big bad wolf" the words chant in my head, following and eerie nursery rhyme like tune. I focus yet again of Kyra, two chocolate brown ears standing out boldly on her head, her eyes are yellow, bright, bright yellow. I need to run, I want to let all the screams flow out from my mouth, but I can't, i'm too tried from everything that has happened, to cold and alone. The eyes that haunt me are now living in my life, and not just owned by me now. I feel myself lean more so on to Nex, in fear, and basically just for comfort. I notice his body tense as I stop attempting to hold my own weight. And before i'm done with fighting the screams I notice her long white tipped tail swishing lightly behind her, and k-9 teeth biting down lightly on her tongue, that too seems to have changed. Last of all her nails have sharpened into slightly yellow tinged claws. I shiver at the menacing chuckle that plays from her now reddening lips. She looks up, giving me a toothy smile before uttering something about changing, as she returns to normal. although I fear I have no idea of what the means any more.
"what are you?" I stutter, wanting to back way, but instead I reach for my knife, I can't believe I trusted her with my secrets, this beast.
I grimace, chocking on my words, "what. Are. You" my voice is more demanding as I wield the blade, not fearing to let the electricity go to my head, or more correctly coat me like armour.
"I'm like you, look at yourself. if I am a monster that what do you call yourself?" she says, she tilts her head sideways
"I don't know" I whisper
"what did you say?" she demands, her voice raising to a shout. And I finally see what I have become, Nex and the other guy, Theo glare at me menacingly, yet still concerned.
"I'm a monster" I yell, flicking my wrist so that the blade of my knife embeds itself in the concrete floor, before my hand bursts into a fit of purple thunder. I push Nex away roughly, letting the crack of my knuckles hide my pain and worry for hitting the boy.
I remember the shock of my sister rage at this moment, rage. I sink to the floor, screaming, a raw burning filling the pitch black darkness, as I slam my fist onto the floor, the defying crunch making me quiver before I walk into the dark.
I wake up, my head filled with candyfloss and little dancing unicorns with party hats, or were they just horses, hard to tell.
Cough. I look through my blurred eyes, inching them open, and hoping that whatever held them together wasn't there forever. The figure in front of me sits there for a little while, as I hold my hands firmly together. One of them feeling particularly numb, and bigger than the other. But I focused on attempting to widen my sight. "don't fear the big bad wolf" I murmur a silent whish of freedom on my lips. "he is following me" I whimper, attempting to roll over but something i'm holding onto prevents me from doing so.
"Hello, Luna are you awake?" the voice if foggy, and is slurred like the owner has had a little too much to drink, but that I doubt. That voice, calling to me from what I can only call 'the real world' makes me want to haul myself from this abyss. Eyes still closed I feel someone help me to sit comfortably with my back against a cushion.
"who are you?" I smile, strangely happy even though one of my hands is throbbing bluntly, while I sit with my other two clasped together, me and my three hands. in this smiley world of darkness. I giggle at the beady yellow eyes as the wolf watches me, its red eyed twin no where to be seen. 'boo' it growls, as I subconsciously rush towards it. Arms out stretched, embracing this gracious, wondrous beautiful beast. I continue my quest, and this time I have no hope of return, I'm playing to die, and now I have no one to save.
Having been through torture from my sister, numerous times i could easily forget her as being my family, just like that, wipe the slate clean, but i can't change what she left me with. The emotional scars.
i widen my arms, letting it all go, wanting the beast to take me.
i hold my hands together tighter, letting the third swing out limply to the side. "don't be scared." i shiver, a grimace making beads of sweat trickle down my face. "wolf," i murmur. Its claws reach out, wanting to catch my skin, waiting, teeth beared, blood gathering at each cerrated tip, drooling, oozing siliva. growling and snarling it leaps up at me. yellow eyes seeping into mine.
i sit up, screaming, howling. not dairing to let myself gather breath. i've spent all these years figuring out what my deepest fears where, even without thinking about why i fear them. i clasp my hands together, this time all three. three hands.
swallowing i look up, enhaling strongly for whatever reasons aguable. My chest aches, reminding me of the burning. Shockwaves and burning. i wait for the pain to leave, but i can't, slowly burning, melting. i look into Nex's eyes, searching for any idea of what happened. "what ...?" I manage to stutter out. all that I can remember is a gloss coated dizzy truth. The ringing in my ears echoes with the sound of a sickening crack, leaving a cream coloured walls to dance around me, teetering pulling me further into confusion.
I can feel my cheeks grow red, as I realise who's hand I am holding. I have an image in my head, of my sister, smirking at me menacingly while I freeze up, unable to utter any words, all that I manage are a few mismatched animals noises. some how, I can't shake the feeling some one is watching me, or has been watching me. My bones turn to custard and I flop, back less, into the sofa pillow. Nex tries to tell me something, but I don't listen. all I can hear is my sisters voice, taunting me from a memory. "its your fault, you killed them." And that voice is right, it was me. and there is nothing I can do about it! Some where, in a very far of place, called the past. there is a family that I belonged to. one I was proud of, but those 5 bullets ruined that life. and its my fault that they all hit.
I want to ask what on earthed happened, or calm things down, but all I have done to day is get peoples names written on there death certificates. I sit straight up, gathering my bones, what just went through my mind. I don't want to be thinking that, I may not trust them but why, and how could this certify there deaths?
"she's not human, is she?" I look to Nex nervously, the memory of Kyra's eared, and tailed form stamps itself into my mind.
"none of us are, not me, not Theo, not even in the past." he says. I can see it on his face, he is scared, scared to be around me, to talk to me. because of my brash nature and narrow minded attitude. It should be me who is afraid, siting, my hand still latched onto a monsters. "but I know what your thinking. we are not monsters, not the beasts you hear in childish fairy-tales, we are real. Humans, just with a little extra on the side." I can't get past that grin, the cheeky, comforting look. I'm sickened, terrified as the breathing heightens in my throat. I catch his eyes, sternly, and truthfully watching his blue irises.
"But this," I stretch out my arms letting silver veins constrict them. "does it mean, I'm one of them. um yo-those things." suddenly I know what's going to happen, I know his answer and I don't want to hear it. pictures flash past my face: The words in my nightmares. Kyra's face, ears and all. my yellow eyes. they all combine, they merge together, and it makes me sick, tears rolling down my cheeks. Sick. The picture stands before me. 'claws that rip and snatch' A black wolf, golden yellow eyes and amazing razor sharp teeth. All the things that make me cower from the world, but i'm not scared, i'm not. there is just one thing missing. The thing I hate the most, the thing that hurts me the most. my sister.
will update soon. I need to work on it, and I have writers block. help!