Disclaimer: They so don't belong to me.
"And then I hear her scream and start to run to her, but I'm too late- always too late. She's dead and there is nothing I can do..." The Joker had asked about his nightmares, since he'd had them almost every night for the last week.
That night had been a truly bad one, and now they were sitting up in bed talking about it; and Bruce had found himself unable to stop once he'd begun.
It felt remarkably good to talk to someone about this- he had never even told Alfred about how bad the dreams could get- and the Joker- his Joker- was a surprisingly attentive listener.
It had been three months now since the Joker had first come to Wayne Manor to help and there was no sign that he would be leaving anytime soon, to both Bruce's and Alfred's delight- though for different reasons of course.
Once the intrepid butler had returned from his impromptu vacation- one he had only relaxed on after Bruce had called and spoken to him- he had been startled, though only partly, to find that the two men had become lovers.
If that hadn't been delightful enough- anyone could see that they were perfect for each other after all- he had found that the clown now made a habit of shadowing his Master at all times of day and night, monitoring his behavior and telling him when he needed to calm down or when it was okay to follow his newly impulsive behavior.
And his Master listened!
That was the most shocking thing he had found upon his return. Even as a young boy his Master had never listened to anyone.
The clown had also produced identification, of dubious legality, by the name of Jack Napier and begun tagging along to business meetings, while in disguise, as Bruce Wayne's personal assistant.
The Joker even went out on patrols with Batman- which had made quite a stir among all of Gotham's populace, both criminal and law-abiding, and even though he still killed people at random intervals they were only criminals and nobody made much of a stir about it; and it was noted that even the highly moralised Batman had stopped making a fuss over the lost lives.
Everyone had long ago gotten used to the Clown Prince of Crime's murderous ways, and were just glad that he was finally using his 'talents' FOR them instead of ON them.
Though once the papers and tabloids got hold of the story pictures of the two were everywhere with the slogan: 'Gotham's New Power Couple?'
And when the Joker and Batman had crashed a press conference- at Bruce's insistance and to the Joker's delight- and confirmed that they were together... well, lets just say that headlines worldwide had changed after that.
But Bruce was finally happy, and that was all the old butler really cared about.
And Bruce really was happy, happier than he could ever remember being.
Perhaps that was why he felt relaxed enough to talk about his nightmares with the green-haired man, the Joker made him feel content.
"And how do you feel when you are in the dream and mutilating the man who killed your parents?" His clown asked once he was finished telling how the dream had recently changed, causing Bruce to burst into giggles.
He hadn't quite gotten used to the easy laughter yet- perhaps that was why his Joker made him laugh so often- and tried to smoother the giggles away.
"You're not a therapist! You can't ask me stuff like that." He finally said, and the Joker drew himself up in mock affront to this.
"I can be anything I set my mind to, and if I want to psychoanalyze you then I will." Crossing his arms he gave a dark and serious glare at the other man, which just made his giggles turn into full on laughter.
"Marry me, Joker." He suddenly burst out.
It took a moment for his mind to catch up with what he said, but as he began to panic and take it back a pair of blood-red lips attacked his own.
Pulling away after several minutes, the Joker looked seriously at his Batsy.
"If I thought you were serious for a minute I'd say yes." Bruce gaped at this.
The Joker would really marry him?
As his starkly white lover tried to leave their bed, Bruce snaked an arm around his waist and hauled him back in. He was not going to lose this opportunity- no matter how unplanned it had been.
"And if I was serious?" He whispered into the struggling man's ear making him go limp.
"Then I would say yes. But you weren't! So the answer is no. You've never even told me how you feel about me!"
"Now that's a lie! I've already told you I love you! Do I need to carve it into your body?!" Arguments and threats like this one were common, and would usually devolve into sex or violence, or sometimes both.
"You remembered that?" The Joker was stunned, he had really thought Brucey hadn't remembered his confession from when he was still under the chemical's sway.
"A couple of weeks now. At first I didn't think it was real, but then Alfred confirmed it was as he had overheard the conversation." Turning his mad clown around, Bruce gazed deeply into acid-etched emerald-green eyes.
"I love you, Joker. I have since before all of this happened. I just couldn't admit it to anyone, not even myself." Running a hand through soft locks of green hair he continued.
"You are psychotic, beautiful, passionate, murderous, amazing and a wonder. I can not now- nor have I ever been able too- live my life without you. Marry me. I love you, my Joker. Marry me?" As he waited for an answer he felt each second pass by like an hour.
Suddenly a large smile spread across angular features.
"Oh, Basty, as if I could say no. But on one condition though." Bruce, who had been ready to ravage his clown after his acceptance, stilled completely and listened intently.
"What? Anything!" He whispered.
Ghosting his lips over the billionaire's, and loving every teasing moment, he finally relieved the man of his nervous anticipation.
"I want two public weddings. I want everyone to know that both Batman and Bruce Wayne are off the market for good." If he had any more requests they were lost in the sudden attack of lips and hands all over his body.
JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER
Many a matron and gold digging hussy wailed at the headlines:
'Bruce Wayne Elopes With Male Assistant!'
'They were married at midnight in a local church...' Most didn't get passed this before they began to curse their luck at the fact that the richest and most eligible bachelor around was actually gay.
The name Jack Napier became a hissing in the dark among all those who had lost out when he had stolen the playboy for himself.
And with no pre-nup either! They cried.
They called him a gold-digging man whore, and said that it wouldn't last.
But any who actually saw the pair together could tell it was real love.
Jack had been at Bruce's side constantly since the 'car accident' that had taken him out of action and the public eye for several weeks.
He was always ready to give advice or lend a steadying hand to the still shaken billionaire, and many a board meeting had ended with the quietly attentive man making a million dollar saving decision.
No-one who met them could deny the bond between the two men.
And it was while they were on their honeymoon cruise, on their private yacht far out in the ocean where they could not be reached or disturbed, that even bigger headlines swept through Gotham.
'Batman And Joker Tie The Knot!' Several bookies had to payout that day as bets were collected on.
It seemed the duo had broken into Arkham Asylum's chapel and been married before the inmates...
"Hold still, Mr. J!" Harley whined as she adjusted the Jokers tie to a better angle.
She wanted to cry about losing her Puddin'- even though she was with Ivy now- and to the Batman no less! But since she had been named his bestman she decided that tears could wait.
"Harley, my dear, leave it. Now, is everyone here? I want everyone to see this and know that he's mine now!"
"Yeah, everyones here. Well... except for Eddie, he escaped a few days ago. I sure bet he'll be kicking himself for that! He always said you two would get hitched, and that he wanted to be there on that day. Ha!"
But the Joker wasn't listening anymore as he caught sight of his intended walking riddles-boy to a seat next to that commissioner guy he had insisted be there, and then coming towards him.
"So that is where you ran off to, to collect Eddie. You could have told me!" Several interested heads turned at the mad clowns yell, they were all curious to see how the Batman would deal with the clown now that they were together.
"I don't have to tell you everything. And just what would be the point of all this if the whole crazy family wasn't here to see it?! Didn't you want a full house?!" The hysterical argument went on for a few minutes going back and forth, and getting nowhere.
That is until the Joker slapped Batman hard enough to draw blood.
Everyone waited for a fight to begin, but, much to everyones shock except for the pairs', Batman just grabbed Joker by the tie and pulled him in for a deep and passion filled kiss- almost everyone instantly envied the Joker at that point.
Pulling back, the vigilante grabbed his arch nemesis by the hand and walked to the front of the chapel where a, slightly nervous looking, priest stood to officiate.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." He began.
Quinn broke down at this point and started crying, as did many others.
By the end of the ceremony several more eyes had grown moist- though they weren't likely to admit to it.
"...and now you may kiss." The priest finally finished.
A cheer went up as the couple touched lips.
))
AN: So that's it. I would have made this longer, but I really don't know much about psychology and I didn't want to be inaccurate.
Thank you all for reading, and I hope it was at least entertaining!