Chapter Deux: Hair Dryer Knickers

I strode down the street, singing the Pride and Prejudice theme tune in my head. My mind was filled with thought of Gary emerging from a pond in a wet t-shirt (Phhwoarr).

'Gary – take me !' I said, bursting into the restaurant.

The room quickly became silent.

'Miranda?' said Gary. He began to walk towards me – jelly legs, jelly legs.

'Gary I love y-'

'Miranda?' a voice called from the corner.

'Mike?' I said.

'Mike?' said Gary.

'Gary?' said Mike.

'Clive', said Clive.

'Miranda, I didn't think you'd come', said Mike. He got up and walked towards me, and picked up my hand.

'I – came here, because food', I said.

'Oh – I thought you had come to stop me', he said.

'I may have done so, said so'

'I should get back to work – leave you two alone', said Gary.

This was not going to plan. I let Mike lead me to a table, and sat myself down.

'Drinks?' said Mike.

'Bottle of wine and a straw please', I replied.

Suddenly Stevie walked into the room, holding a bunch on balloons saying 'congratulations on your engagement'. Oh dear.

'Abort, Abort !' I hushed towards her.

'Abort? He reject you? Well I guess we can't all have the allure', said Stevie.

'Mike is here !'

'Mike – Mike? But he's meant to be in New York?'

'But he's here !'

'So he's not in New York?'

'Clearly !'

After quickly forming a plan B, we put it into action. Stevie would distract Mike, while I talked to Gary. Plan B a go go !

'Gary – we need to talk', I said sitting myself on the bar seat. They are always so uncomfortable – whose bum is that small that it all fits on a bar stool !

'Miranda, I've been meaning to tell you something', said Gary.

'Gary', said a petite blonde girl walking into the restaurant.

'Missy', said Gary.

Oh come on, that isn't even a real name, what type of parents calls their child Missy.

'I had such a wonderful time last night', she said.

'She did?' I said.

'Miranda this isn't what -'

I got up and left, I guess plan B could be Mike.

'Sometimes Miranda dries her underwear using her hair dryer and every time we go out she says it's her birthday so we get a free cake', said Stevie.

'Stevie !'

'What? Well, you told me to put him off you – I just told the truth about you'

'Rude !'

'So, you don't want to marry me?' said Mike.

'Mike, I'm sorry – I can't marry you. I'm already in love with someone else'

'I guess this is it then – I'm going to New York'

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today !' I sang.

I watched Mike leave, a tinge of sadness filled my heart. It was the right thing to do, but I would still miss him.

'Who is that?' asked Stevie, looking over to 'Missy' and Gary.

'Missy', I mocked.

'Miss – eeee', she said.

'Oh Stevie, I'm just going to give up on the whole dating thing. It never works out for me'.

'Well clearly you're not that undesirable, I mean - some people might think so because you are so tall and you eat like a builder and sometimes when -'

'That quite enough thank you Stevie !'

'Miranda', called Gary

'Gary – I can't do this', I said.

'But let me -', he said.

'No, we have too much drama. Can't we just be friends?'

'Oh Miranda, I thought we were getting somewhere'

'I just – You move on after two weeks'

'I was upset'

'No, Gary I just can't'

'But-'

'Stevie, can we go please'

So, that was it. I was back to square one, no Gary and no Mike. But, don't worry my little reader – I'm quite happy. It just means more drunken friday karaoke with Stevie – and who knows what is round the corner. I'll keep you update as the madness continues.

Note:

I know ! I've not put Miranda and Gary together – but don't worry that isn't the end of them ! Miranda just need a bit of fun first.