Chapter 3: Curtain or Dress?

'Do you Miranda, take Collins29 to be you-', I said.

'Miranda, darling', called my Mother. She stroll into my room, no knocking. I don't even know why have a door half the time.

'Mum, but I thought you'd abandoned me'

'Don't be silly Miranda, there would be no way to abandon you. I imagine they can even see you in satellite pictures – HA !'

Charming.

'Anyways', she continued. 'Stevie told me you have a date. There aren't many women of your age who get a second change. I thought I would come and help'

This was the last thing I needed.

'Oh I'm okay – I'm quite busy'

'What are you doing?'

'I'm taking my dog for a walk'

'You don't have a dog'

'I'm training to become a … a erm, tree?'

'Miranda, don't be silly. Now, come along now. I have the perfect shop, Tilly's Mother says this place is all the rage, and I can only try and make you look respectable. Maybe you should pretend you are a mute'

'But Mum I -'

'Come along now, it'll be.. SUCH FUN'

'There's a surprise'

After, what can only be described as hours of torture – I walked back into the shop. The outfit my Mother had chosen was made out of what looked like a curtain, it was a matching two piece suit. It was not my best look.

'What on earth – you look like your Mothe-'

Just on time, my Mother entered the shop wearing an identical outfit. She said it would be 'fun' if we 'gals' matched, I did protest but as usual it fell on deaf ears. Stevie pulled out a camera, and capture scene. Note to self: Kill Stevie.

'Miranda I wanted to know if-' said Gary walking into the shop.

Well this is just getting ridiculous.

'What are you wearing?' he continued.

'Doesn't she look wonderful', said Mum.

'Well Penny, I think you've done a fantastic job', said Stevie.

'It's for her date ! Seeing as you wont marry her', said Mum.

'Date?' asked Gary.

'Yes Gary, I have a date ! Because that is what we do after being proposed to – we date'

Go me ! Go Miranda, who is awesome? That is me.

'Oh well, I suppose you wont mind if Missy comes tonight', he asked.

'Is she bringing her sisters? Crystal and Red Wine', I said. Admittedly not my best joke.

'Miranda – come along, we need to practice your dating skills', my dear Mother said. She happily made her way into my flat.

'I better go', said Gary.

After he left, I tried to convince Stevie to help me escape my Mother's wrath.

'No, you can do this alone. When I offered to help you shop, you asked if we'd be using dolls clothes. I am petite Miranda, no doll has this kind of allure'

'Stevvieeeee', I pleaded.

'I have work to do, this winter wonderland will not make itself'

I reluctantly made my way into the flat, where Mum had set out a 'fake date' scene. This was not going to be fun.

'Now Miranda, my only rule for you is to lie – never tell this man the truth about you'. Especially you'

'Rude', I said.

'It is all in the eyes, I suggest you also do not talk. When he does ask you something, make a girly giggle or laugh. Men love it when you find them funny – your father does this thing with his big -'

'La La La', I sang.

Oh dear, this was not going to go well. So far I looked like a curtain and was acting like my Mother.

'But, don't fear ! I shall pop along and help you, I will be undercover', she said. 'Anyways must dash it is naked Thursday'.

This date was not going to go well, my dreams of a nice spring wedding at Leighton Hall with Collins were getting further away. Oh dear, I'm even talking like my Mother now ! Dear reader, how can this get worse? Will Collins29 be the man of my dreams? I guess only time will tell.

Note: To my first reviewer Joanne, so glad you are enjoying the story ! :) Fingers crossed Miranda's date goes well.