Chapter 2: Plan 325.42: Trip Him Repeatedly

Disclaimer: Still nada…..

"Ok, the 242nd meeting of the Death Eaters is now in session," Voldemort said. Wow only 242 meetings…I wonder if he meant in a row? I am sure that there have been more, though, I can't be sure since I usually don't pay attention anyway…

"Staci, pay attention! I'm not paying you for slacking!" the mad man yelled

'You don't pay us…' I thought but thought better of saying it, "Sorry Sir! I was just enraptured by your powerful speaking skills!" 'As if anyone could be 'enraptured by this load of crap.' Thinking to myself, again.

Ok, so it was a really lame excuse (and lie) from someone who just fell off their chair from boredom. It is time for plot 325.42…

"Well I'll just carry on then," and he went back to speaking, me with an evil grin on my face. Bellatrix kept giving me funny looks the rest of the meeting… so I stared back (and I think I creeped her out)

The meeting was finally over at 5:00p.m. (What kinda idiot puts people in a stuffy small room, FOR 5 HOURS?) So I dashed out immediately. I hid behind the staff room door as the rest of the Death Eaters filed out (one of them hit me in the nose with the door! #$&! I think it was Bellatrix…) I peaked around the door. Sure enough here came Lord Voldy, walking briskly to get out of the room. I stuck out my foot and the geezer fell with a loud thump, getting tangled in his robes. I stifled my laughs as he struggled to get out, and then I ran like hell. I could still hear his yells down the hall…

"DAMN IT! WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS I'LL CURSE THEM INTO OBLIVION!" I really look forward to that –sarcasm-

I ran right to my room and locked the door. Then I burst out laughing. Hm…I wonder what would happen if I do that again? After all curiosity never killed the cat (although it did turn on the blender…) so I crept down the hall to his room. This was one of the times that I worshiped the paperwork that was the bane of my existence, for I had found out that old Moldy Bread gets up every night, at 11:23, to eat a piece of bread and cheese (what a freak!) I stood outside his door and looked at my watch. 11:22 and 3…2…1…The door opened and he stood in the doorway, bleary eyed. I again stuck out my foot and he tumbled with a great sleepy crash.

"!#$&!"" He jumped up and started firing hexes everywhere. Damn why didn't I pass Charms? I can't produce a Shield Charm to save my life! I guess that's what happens when you go to wizarding school in America...it always seems like our education system is behind.

Well thank god for broom cupboards…Well my curiosity was satisfied (and it was funnier the second time!) so I made my way back to my chamber and collapsed on the bed laughing till I passed out.

"Emergency meeting 463.5 is called to order!" Voldemort yelled. Uh-oh…he looks mad…probably why he called this meeting. But why in the hell did he have to call it at 3:00 in the morning?

And what's the .5 all about anyway?

"Last night one of you…" he glared at us and continued his speech. Said something about honor and dignity and some other stuff I found increasing boring. Hee…hee…looks like he broke his nose! Wait…he doesn't have a nose! What is this world coming to?

"…and if I ever find out what person did this they are going to pay," He finished with a snarl, as we all got up and left.

Wow...he still considers the one -cough- me -cough- a person? I'm shocked...especially since I'm barely a person...but hey, is anyone in this joint?

Looks like my plan was a complete success! Of course this might make the next one more dangerous (and funnier!) But it'll be sooo worth it!