Chapter 9: Plan 806.34: Light off Fireworks

A/N: Finally updated! So here ya go. It was kinda fun adding a random guest :)

Disclaimer: Uh…nope

"Death Eaters!" Voldemort's voice boomed over the dull listlessness of the conference room, "We have just received insider information that the Order of the Phoenix will be attempting a break-in tonight, so be on your guard!"

Wow…really? That's….exciting…or would be exciting if we didn't keep getting these 'warnings' every three days.

That's why I was very surprised when at midnight I heard the thump of a person falling through my bedroom window.

Which makes me wonder….why do these things keep happening to me?

"Bloody hell…" the voice swore as a tall, gangly figure stood up, reflected in the moonlight.

"Nice to meet you too," I groaned. I like sleep. It's what I do. Interrupting my sleep is BAD. "Can I ask you what you're doing in my room?"

"Stay back," the kid growled, pulling out a wand and muttering the Lumos spell. Instantly a beam of light flashed in my face.

"Do you MIND? I don't exactly like having a light shining in my eyes…can't imagine you would either."

"I swear if you yell or come at me I'll curse you," he threatened.

"Dude…I'm NOT going to hurt you…or sound the alarm."

"But you're a Death Eater,"

"Barely," I muttered,

"…ok…well how do I know you're not going to kill me?"

"well for one, my wand is over there," I pointed at the little table in the corner, "two, I just don't feel like it…it's a waste of my time…as is this whole little Death Eater thing, but that's another story.

"Huh," He paused to think about that. Wait…that red hair...the freckles…he looks vaguely familiar.

"Are you Ron Weasley?" I blurted out

"How'd you know?"

"I'm in charge of paperwork…and Oldie made me do reports on all you people of the Order," I shrugged, "I probably should ask…what made you decide to enter Death Eater territory and fall into my room?"

"I'm on a mission to find some important information on Death Eater plans," Ron puffed out his chest, proudly.

"Is that it? Jeez…I can show you the way…but trust me, you won't find much in the way of useful……I don't think any of these people know how to follow a plan," we walked out of the room, heading for the office. On the way, I gave him a grand tour…which really just meant going past Voldemort's room.

"So he sleeps there every night?" Ron whispered as we went past the room. Cripes…Volder STILL doesn't have any guards posted there…idiot.

"Well…every night that I don't pester him," I whispered back.

"Wait…we've had some insider info about someone tormenting You-Know-Who. Is that you?" Ron asked

"Um…you know, that last sentence rhymed," I changed the subject as I entered the office, and opened a filing cabinet.

"You realize that after the war is done, you'll probably go to Azkaban," Ron said, as he watched me (it was kinda creeping me out…)

"Well…I guess before no one from the Order ever saw me…I don't have the Dark Mark because that's just stupid…and I'm not really a very good Death Eater…or really one at all…so nope didn't think about it." I said, preoccupied with the filing cabinet

"I suppose since you're helping me I'll cover for you," he shrugged

"That'd be nice," I pulled out a file, something about battle plans or whatnot, "will these work for you?"

He flicked through them, grinning "Heck yeah," he turned around. As he did, some bright red packages fell out of his pocket. I picked them up and grinned

"These are those fireworks your brothers made right?" I asked, holding them up

"Uh……yeah, I'm supposed to use them if I need a distraction"

"Can I have them?"

"What will you give me for them?"

"I showed you to this office!" I exclaimed

"Yeah, but you're reward for that is me vouching for you after the war is done,"

"Right……" I thought a moment and then smiled deviously, "How about I let you light them off?" I hoped he would get the hint

It took awhile (this is Ron we're talking about) but he slowly smiled. We walked back to the hallway that contained the snoring madman.

"This will be good. You'll have to run like hell though," I warned him, positioning the fireworks right at the door, which 'happened to be opened a little ways.

"Of course, I'm not stupid,"

"Just checking." And with that he lit the fuse and we both tore down the hallway. Behind us bright light began to flash, whizzing noises could be heard….and Voldie began to scream.

"I love warping his day," I sighed contently as I listened to the bangs and pops.

"Wait until Harry and Hermione hear about this," Ron shook his head in disbelief

"Glad I made your day,"

"So are you going to be ok? Or is he going to find out that you lit them off?" Ron asked, as he began to climb out the window.

"You lit them off….but no he won't find out…he never has…the worst that could happen is….."

"MEETING IN FIVE MINUTES!!!" a voice yelled furiously

"…….shit……" I groaned

"Well…uh…see you." And he took off on a broomstick into the night. I walked down to the meeting room, yawning.

There the old-timer was…steaming…no literally. There was smoke and ashes all over him and he was MAD.

Go figure

He needs to get a sense of humor.

Luckily he didn't blame any of the Death Eaters…after all; none of US could have gotten a hold of the fireworks.

He doesn't know us very well…or at least not me.

"This 'unfortunate' event means that the Order has infiltrated our hideout. Further information will be gathered about this sinister act," Voldemort threw in some big words for effect.

But sinister? He's the one who's killing Muggles, ravaging the countryside, and terrorizing the world and he's calling the ORDER sinister?

Something is way out of whack…

Another day, another dollar….or not…I still haven't gotten paid.

-sigh-