Note: If you have a favorite character that you want to see in the final group, tell me and I'll try to include them.

Chapter 4 – First Challenge

All of the contestants were staring at an obstacle course… not just any plain old run-jump-duck obstacle course. The course started with a swim… through hungry Cheep-Cheep infested waters, which of course were not at a comfortable temperature freezing-your-testicles-off cold. After that a typical run it seemed…

"…And once you get to the running part of the course, we release blood-thirsty Chain Chomps ten seconds into the foot race…"

The fat-eat-everything-pig Shy Guy from Paper Mario choked on the donut he was eating. "Oh shit, I'm screwed."

Then you came to a hurdle-type part of the course, except that you had to jump through lit circles of fire. After that there was what appeared to be the easiest part of the course, a quiz show.

"…To finish the race you have to stand on your head and sing Britney Toad's classic hit "…Baby One More Time"…backwards."

The Axem Rangers talked amongst themselves. "What do they think this is the circus or something?" "Yea, we're the little monkeys who run through the maze." "More like the monkey's shit by the looks of this."

The toad reading the details of the course smiled as she finished. "Any questions?"

Almost every hand was up in an instant. She frowned. "God you idiots it isn't that hard! Watch this!"

The toad elegantly jumped off the platform and into the water, beating the shit out of any Cheep-Cheeps that came her way. She started on the running part at an incredible speed and simply out ran the Chain Chomps. She gracefully jumped through the twenty rings of fire without getting burned the slightest bit and entered the quiz show. As you may have predicted, she answered every question with a more than adequate response.

"See?" She happily raised her eyebrows as she stood on her head.

"Time more one baby me hit sign a me give and here be will you that believe still I know you don't confess must I me killing is loneliness my that confess must I time more one baby me hit sign a me give mind my lose I you with not I'm when (believe still) believe still I confess must I (I and) me killing is loneliness my time more one baby me hit sign a me give and here be will you that believe still I know you don't now me killing is loneliness my that confess must I go you let have shouldn't I baby pretty oh know to supposed I was how baby baby oh yea eh baby baby oh oh baby baby oh I time more one baby me hit sign a me give mind my lose I you with not I'm when (believe still) believe still I confess must I (I and) me killing is loneliness my because why now know to need I cause baby me tell be to it want you how me show it planned I way the not its do wouldn't I that nothing there's baby pretty oh blinded me got you boy you is breathe I reason the baby baby oh I time more one baby me hit sign a me give mind my lose I you with not I'm when (believe still) believe still I confess must I (I and) me killing is loneliness my because why now know to need I cause baby me tell be to it want you how me show yea outside right you're now and go you let have shouldn't I baby baby oh here right wasn't something that know to supposed I was how baby baby oh baby baby oh baby baby oh."

Some of the contestants applauded, some laughed, and some wanted to kill the damn bitch.

"Who the hell is that?" Mario asked Peach.

"I have no idea."

Toadstool came out on the platform as the crowd began to get rowdy. "Please listen. That was a joke I assume. My, what imagination these TV show producers have. I have just been informed that the obstacle course stays as is excluding anything that wanted to eat you, yes including you fat ass…" Toadstool commented as he looked and pointed at the fat-eat-everything-pig Shy Guy. "…The rings of fire, and the whole recite Britney Toad's baby song backwards thingy."

There was a roar of happiness and relief from the contestants as another toad stepped on the platform. "We have divided you into groups, so please listen for your name and if you are called make your way to the starting line. Group one is as follows…"

Daisy snuck up behind Luigi and placed her hands over his eyes. "Guess who?"

Luigi smiled. "The most gorgeous girl in the whole universe?" Daisy spun him around and planted a big sloppy wet one on him as Birdo walked over.

"You two act like you're the only ones here."

Daisy looked over to her and giggled. "Can't help it, we're in love."

"We are?" Luigi jokingly asked. Daisy gave him a pretend shocked look and playfully pushed him. She knew he was simply kidding, or at least she hoped he was.

Birdo was fixing to reply until she heard her name called over the loud speaker. "Uh-oh, I gotta go lose now. See you guys later if I'm lucky." She grinned as she made her way through the sea of challengers and began stretching in front of the start line.

"You're going down!" A fellow yellow yoshi shouted to her.

"We'll see about that."

"The first round is ready to begin! Here are the rules, no cheating!" The announcer toad excitedly shouted after the last name was called. "On your mark… get set… GO!"

All of the group one contestants dived into the water. A poor Thomp immediately sank to the bottom and couldn't move and consequently lost. Birdo on the other hand could swim as well as she walked. The aquatic participants were the first to land but that's where their problems started. Birdo was in the lead and to her surprise an Amazee Dayzee was right on her tail, the one and only Amazee Dayzee in attendance.

'How does that thing even know what to do?' She thought to herself and watched it lick its lips as its eyes were glued to her tail. "Oh hale naw, you ain't taking a bite outta my tail, byotch!" She picked up the pace as the retarded flower did the same. She easily jumped through the circles which were now not on fire and entered the quiz show.

"Howdy hoe, my friends! I'm your favorite quiz host – Chuck Quizmo! You have to answer three questions before you get the million dol… I mean move on to the finish line. Ready? Let's play who wants to win the race!" The lights went crazy and dimmed as the music started, awfully familiar to another game show. "You have one life line, 'Punch me in the face'! Where you get to punch me in the face and maybe I'll tell you the right answer! How awesomely bad for me yet fun for you!"

Birdo laughed at the over-the-top behavior of this guy. "Just get to the questions so I can win already."

"Alrighty, Birdo, here is your first question…"

She answered the first two questions with ease and moved onto the last. "You're only one question away till you can make a dash for the finish! Here is your final question."

Birdo grinned as the studio audience burst with applause. "Thank you, thank you! I'd like to thank all my fans, my family, my frie–"

Quizmo cut her off. "This ain't no damn award show…" He quickly regained his composure. "…Here's your final question. How long has Toadstool been in power over Mushroom Kingdom?" He started to read the answer choices but it was his turn to be interrupted. Birdo glared as she spoke, a smirk on her lips.

"Don't even read the choices… I don't have a clue, so I think I'd like to use my life line." She cracked her knuckles as she pulled her fist back to hit him. Chuck Quizmo ducked and shouted out to her that she advanced on. "That's what I thought."

Birdo quickly ran out of the quiz show and could see the finish line. Then she noticed that damn Amazee Dayzee on her heels. "How did she get past the quiz?" She muttered to herself.

Five minutes earlier…

"Howdy hoe, my friends! I'm your favorite…" Chuck Quizmo proceeded to go through the same lines he did with Birdo. The Amazee Dayzee simply stared at him as some drool dripped out of her mouth. "Alrighty, Amazee Dayzee, here is your first question. Which of the following is one of the five W's of question-asking?"

A. Walrus
B. Hokey pokey
C. What
D. Washer

The Amazee Dayzee sat there for a few seconds completely silent.

"We need an answer."

She looked around in confusion. "What?"

"That's correct! Good job. The expression "Oooo-blank" is used when someone thinks something is impressive, like the lights at a firework show. Fill in the blank."

A. Ahhh
B. Shhh
C. Grrr
D. I think I lost my wallet.

The Amazee Dayzee picked her nose and slowly brought the booger to her mouth as she exclaimed with glee. "Ahhh."

"Correct! You're only one question away till you can make a dash for the finish! Here is your final question. What sound does a toucan make?"

A. Meow
B. Bark
C. Hello there, good fellow.
D. Tuki-tuki

The Amazee Dayzee smiled when she heard the last choice and started jumping up and down. "TUKI-TUKI-TUKI-TUKI!"

"Congratulations, Amazee Dayzee! You can make a run for the finish!" Chuck Quizmo exclaimed in his best game show voice as the exit opened.

"TUKI-TUKI-TUKI-TUKI!"

Chuck looked around and pulled out a walkie-talkie from his pocket. "Um… I think we're gonna need security in here, this moron is going crazy."

"TUKI-TUKI-TUKI-TUKI!"

The host reached over and turned Dayzee's head toward the exit. "Leave you idiot!" Luckily, Birdo was making her way to the finish and Amazee Dayzee quickly jumped up and ran out the door in pursuit of her.

Back to the present moment…

"It looks like we have three finishers in a tight race to the finish! Who will be the two winners?" The announcer toad shouted.

Birdo looked to her left and saw the yellow yoshi from the beginning. He evilly grinned at her as she stuck up her middle finger with a smile. The yellow yoshi was too busy watching Birdo that he ran off the course and into a pole. Birdo crossed the finish line and Amazee Dayzee came in a close second. Birdo quickly turned around and smacked the Amazee Dayzee. "Why are you following me, you little retard?"

"TUKI-TUKI-TUKI-TUKI!" The Amazee Dayzee shouted and ran off. The reason she was following Birdo was because, to the Amazee Dayzee, her pink tail looked like a big stick of bubblegum.

Birdo looked over and saw the yellow yoshi on the ground moaning in pain. She walked over and offered her hand but as the hurt yoshi reached for it she whipped it away. "Take a look at me now, sucka! You're nothing but a loser!" She yelled to him as a medical team rushed over to help him.

"I can't believe I lost to a flower…" The defeated yoshi mumbled to the medics.

Yoshi, the original one, walked over to Birdo and whispered in her ear. "That was my cousin."

"Oh, sorry… but he was an asshole."

The same process was repeated until it was Mario's, Peach's, and Bowser's turn.

"What is the likeliness of all three of us getting in the same group?" Peach asked Mario as they stretched.

Mario shook his head. "I dunno… it must be a conspiracy." Indeed it was. Bowser forced the contest regulators to put all three of them in the same group.

Bowser smiled evilly as he watched them from the other side of the start line. "This is my chance to shine! My chance to finally beat that chump and his little slut. Your formula had better have worked, Kammy."

"Trust me sir, you have nothing to worry about." Kammy Koopa reassured her leader. She had already gone and made it on to the next round.

Ten minutes later…

Mario and Peach could see the finish and Bowser wasn't in sight. "Yes! We're gonna get rid of that dumbass right at the start!" Mario exclaimed as he picked up Peach and carried her to save time.

Bowser finally exited the quiz show and saw them. "Dammit! How am I supposed to catch up?" He started to run and tripped over a rock.

"RAAAAAAAH!"

He slid on the bottom of his shell at an incredible speed directly toward Mario and Peach. It was too late when Peach looked over Mario's shoulder. "Mario! Behind us!" Mario tried to get out of the way but the three of them collided.

Once the dust cleared everyone watched as Mario and Peach rode on top of Bowser across the finish. The judges briefly debated and announced their results. "All three contestants crossed the line at the same time, causing a three-way tie. All three players move on to the next round."

Eventually, all groups had gone and only two-thousand and one participants remained. "Congratulations! You are the lucky contestants who made it through the first round. But don't celebrate just yet; we still have many more players to get rid of."