Chapter 8 – Design Time

The contestants quickly went to work; painting, building, figuring out the color schemes, etc. The bad guys particularly had a hard time while the girls found it to be a breeze. Eventually a large buzzer sounded in the main room, telling everyone time was up. Kandy addressed the waiting contestants. "Good job, everyone. The judges will look at your rooms, deliberate, and then you will be notified with further instructions."

"What do we do in the mean time?" Kammy Koopa asked.

Kandy scrunched up her face as if she had been asked some disgusting question. "Omigod, are you guys that retarded? See the room over there labeled 'Waiting Room'? Go wait in it."

Baby Bowser made his way over to the room with the others. "Man, who put her panties in a wad?"

"No one from the looks of it." Bowser said with a smirk.

After some small talk, a few rounds of 7-up, and simply staring at the wall aimlessly Kandy walked into the scene. "Hello guys, thanks for your patience. If the following group of people would please come with me to another room that would be lovely. Let's see here…" She consulted some papers in her hand before continuing. "…Amazee Dayzee, Baby Bowser, Bobo, Bullet Bill, Daisy, Jeffrey Star, Johnny Depp, Jonathon Jones, Marilyn, Peach, Petey Piranha, Professor E. Gadd, Rawk Hawk, the Red Axem Ranger, Rover, Sonic, Toadette, Valentina, Waluigi, and Wario."

Kandy led the chosen group to a separate room, letting them inside and telling them to wait. She then returned to the 'Waiting Room' flashing a big grin. "Congratulations to you all, your room designs have been adequate enough to pass you on to the next round. You will be transported back to the base momentarily."

Several minutes later she re-emerged in the other room, silently motioning for them to follow her. She led the players to the room with the judges, placing them in a line in front of the panel.

Heidi Doom nodded to her. "Thank you, Kandy. The twenty of you represent the best and the worst designs. As you know, five of you will be proclaimed the winners and five of you will be proclaimed the losers and immediately sent home. For the winners though, Johnny could you tell them the prize?"

"Why certainly, Heidi, the five lucky winners will return back to the base with a BRAND NEW QUEEN SIZE BED! Courtesy of Sleep Masters. Enjoy the sleep that king Toadstool gets on the revolutionary Comfort Master 3000TM, made only with air light springs. A complimentary oak bed frame included. Sleep like a king, feel like a king. A 10,000 coin value."

"Ooo, aren't you the lucky ones." Simon said with a laugh.

Heidi ignored him as she scanned the nervous players. "First, we'd like to start with Bullet Bill. Could you explain your design?"

He nodded dumbly. "Sure, uh, you see I like to blow up stuff. So, I made the room in commando style complete with loads of guns and a bunker and yea… it's freaking awesome, man."

Simon let out a long sigh. "The only thing awesome is that you've already provided me with a gun to shoot you with."

Frank shrugged his shoulders. "Um, you know, Bill, I have to agree. That room was grade A ugly. Nothing was done well at all; you never do a room in camouflage."

"Daisy, do you mind explaining your design?" Heidi asked as she turned to her.

"Oh, of course, of course. I call it spring time, I used bright fun colors like yellow and cream to draw the person in. I feel as though the first thing you notice about a room is the color and if it's inviting than the person wants to walk right in." She replied with a smile.

Frank returned the smile with a grin of his own. "It was very cute. I especially loved the flowers you painted on the wall. I just wanted to have a tea party right then and there."

"Yes, those flowers did make me want to drop a pot of scalding hot tea on the front of my pants." Simon mundanely added.

Heidi gave him the look of death. "Well, I don't care what Simon says I loved it. Next is Professor E. Gadd."

The timid and short scientist cleared his throat, stepping forward slightly. "I incorporated all of my genius designs. The average toad is, to be frank, lazy. I believe comfort is the first thing you want when you come into a room and I gave just that."

"I thought it was amazing. I still can't believe you made it to where a push of a button you can change the color of the walls to adapt to your mood. The remote that used voice recognition to come to you if you lost it, completely blows my mind. You, sir, are a very talented man." Frank said with a wink, leaning forward slightly. "Give me a call sometime."

Simon gave a look of repulsion before turning to Gadd. "Yes it was brilliant. Congratulations on adding to the obesity epidemic."

"Baby Bowser, did you design your room to look like a dungeon on purpose?" Heidi questioned.

"Yep, that's what I was going for." He said.

Heidi raised an eyebrow. "Right. I don't think we need to elaborate on what an awful idea that was. Wario, you're next."

He gave a light chuckle. "I think my idea is pretty self-explanatory."

"What idea? All you put in the room was a fridge, a bed, and a blow-up doll." Frank replied.

Wario nodded. "Yea, everything you will ever need."

Simon cracked a smile. "Yes, that blow-up doll is everything you're ever going to get."

"The challenge was to make a design. You left the room as it was." Heidi expressed.

He shrugged in return. "I'm a simple kind of person."

"Simple in the brain." Simon added.

Heidi glanced down at her notes. "Moving forward… Rawk Hawk, what about you? What's your excuse?"

"My inspiration was everything big and meaty… like me." He squeezed his muscles, giving Heidi some hinting eyebrow wiggles.

Heidi gave an over-reacted gag in return. "I guess that's partially right, everything in your room was big and bulky and hideous. Everything was gold-colored which off set my eye sight and made me want to pass out."

"Gold like my champion belt."

"Gold like the chain I'm going to strangle you with." Simon stated.

Frank couldn't think of anything to say that would be appropriate for television so he found the next person. "Bobo, we'd like to talk to you next. Aw, aren't you just adorable."

The Ukiki stepped forward shyly. "Y-yes?"

Heidi smiled kindly to him. "We loved your design. It was so feng shui."

"All he did was throw shit on the walls. You call that feng shui?" Simon exclaimed.

Frank nodded. "It gave it a wonderful textured look. Great idea."

Simon's mouth dropped. "I don't know who the monkey is anymore."

"We now come to you, Peach." Heidi pressed on.

"The one word I use to describe my room is tranquility. I used darker neutral colors such as blue to sooth the person in the room." She explained.

Simon rolled his eyes. "We were shocked you didn't use pink."

"It was a good change." Frank said full of encouragement.

Heidi's eyes focused on the Red Axem Ranger. "On the opposite end, we have you."

"I felt like I was the lint stuck in Santa's fat ass belly button from all the red." Simon scorned.

Frank agreed. "It was way too much."

"They don't call me the Red Axem Ranger for nothing." He retorted.

Heidi pursed her lips. "Well, they may not call you anything after this. Someone who was right on key, Jeffrey Star, your design was completely fashion forward. I fell in love with the patterns and color schemes; it looked like you had a month to do the room instead of ten hours."

Jeffrey smiled happily, speaking with a fake lisp. "Thanks Heidi. You're, like, one of my idols. When I was a kid I wanted to be just like you."

"Using curtains to make a storage space was really fantastic." Frank added.

"Yes, making up for the closet that wasn't there because you needed to get in it, unless you're out of the closet." Simon said with a snort.

Heidi gave him a look that spoke volumes. "Shut up, Simon. From Jeffrey to Johnny, Mr. Depp your design was very well executed, congrats. And now from Johnny to Jonathon Jones, do you care to share with us what your idea was?"

The pirate shark stepped forward. "Argh, yes me lady. I used a sailor theme."

"We noticed. Your sailor design was gayer than the one from the village people." Simon ridiculed.

Frank cleared his throat. "Um, Simon, there wasn't a sailor in the village people."

Simon smiled. "You would know, wouldn't you Frank?"

"What are you trying to say? I'm married."

Simon laughed. "What does that matter? So was toad Senator Mark Foley."

Heidi quickly spoke up to change the subject. "Valentina your taste is impeccable. Your design looked as though it cost thousands of coins."

She grinned proudly. "Thank you, Heidi. I used lighting techniques and various paint patterns to make it seem antique and expensive."

"If only we could use lighting techniques to fix your face." Simon asserted.

"On the other hand, Marilyn, your room was depressing. Why did you find it necessary to paint it in dark purple and place spider webs everywhere?" Heidi inquired.

Her fat face jiggled as she tried to speak. "Guh, buh, ty ty, dur ba, po tee tee, dur ba duh."

The judges exchanged questioning glances.

Heidi took the floor. "Well, anyway, due to time restraints we can't address the rest of you personally. Though I can tell you that Amazee Dayzee, Sonic, and Toadette your designs were above par and Petey Piranha, Rover, and Waluigi your designs were definitely way below."

The contestants were led by Kandy out of the room temporarily for one last deliberation. Kandy then led the assorted group back in, the judges with stern faces.

Heidi scanned the group stopping at Daisy. "Daisy, you're in. You may join the others."

She happily skipped away.

"And now for our first winner… congratulations, Jeffrey Star, your design was perfect. Your prize will be waiting for you at the base. You may join the others."

He left in the same fashion as Daisy, except with even more skippiness.

"Baby Bowser, you're in. You may join the others…Rover, you're in. You may join the others. And now, for our first loser… I'm sorry, Rawk Hawk, you have been eliminated. Upon arrival at the base you have ten minutes to pack your belongings and leave."

He flooded with anger. "What? My design was the coolest. You guys suck. Kiss my ass, Simon." He ran off before Simon could come up with some smart-alecky response.

"Amazee Dayzee, you're in. You may join the others."

She looked around for a minute. "TUKI-TUKI?"

Heidi grinned and pointed toward the door. "TUKI-TUKI-TUKI-TUKI-TUKI-TUKI."

Amazee Dayzee nodded and left.

Sonic turned to Heidi. "Um, you speak… tuki?"

"Oh yea, I had to learn it in college. Anyway, Johnny Depp you're in. You may join the others. And now, our second winner… congratulations, Peach."

She curtsied to the panel. "Thank you so much."

"Toadette, you're in. You may join the others. And now, our second loser… I'm sorry, Marilyn, you have been eliminated."

She ran off crying, running into the wall before she made it to the door.

"Petey Piranha, you're in. You may join the others. And now, our third winner… congratulations, Bobo."

Waluigi shook his head. "Wah? You're kidding right? Shit-covered walls are winning material?"

Heidi gave a sarcastic giggle. "You have no room to talk, Mr. 'Don't ask me about that white stuff in the lava lamp.'"

Wario looked to his brother. "You didn't!"

He nodded slyly in return. "Oh yea, I sure did."

"That is so… awesome!" Wario shouted as he gave him a high-five.

Bobo quietly took his leave as Heidi continued to read off the remaining contestants' fates. "And now, our third loser… I'm sorry, Bullet Bill, you have been eliminated."

Everyone watched as he turned red and then exploded.

"Wow, he didn't take that very well. Red Axem Ranger, you're in. You may join the others. And now, our fourth winner… congratulations, Valentina."

She portrayed fake surprise. "Oh, me? Really? Oh, I had no idea." While secretly thinking, 'Duh, of course I would win.'

"And now, our fourth loser… I'm sorry, Jonathon Jones, you have been eliminated."

He looked around slowly, raising up his sword. "Argh! If I was you, me wouldn't sleep tonight." He screamed at the judges before leaving.

Simon turned to one of the producers. "Call my lawyer; tell him to get a restraining order on that guy."

"Sonic, you're in. You may join the others. And now, our fifth and final winner… congratulations, Professor E. Gadd."

He jumped up happily. "Very well, see you later then, in a much better rested state."

"Now we have only Waluigi and Wario remaining. One of you will be in and one of you will be out." Heidi paused before turning to Wario. "Wario, you're… out. You have been eliminated."

"WHAT? You can't send me home after the first challenge! I'm one of the main characters." He exclaimed.

Simon looked to him a smirk on his face. "Well, obviously not in this story. Goodbye, oh, and don't forget your blow-up doll."