A/N: This fic closely parallels a very poignant event in my life, and I felt the need to express it through story.
Standard disclaimer: characters, places, universe not owned by me.
Tali's staying on the Normandy!
So much time had passed since the last time he saw her! Six months away in an Alliance facility, several weeks zipping around the galaxy.
The past two weeks she had been aboard, but they hadn't had time to interact much. She was a Fleet admiral, and had to maintain an air of professionalism whilst her peers were aboard.
None of that mattered now, they were serving together again, on the same ship. He had won Rannoch for her, the quarian people, and even the geth.
Shepard recalled their intimacy, the opportunity they had before the Omega 4 relay. He reflected on how the emotional connection of their mutual love had sweetened their lovemaking.
How she would smile at him through her visor, brush his arm in that certain way.
How she would stroke his hand when holding it, or poke his chest when snuggling.
He would give anything for Tali.
Shepard's list of acquisitions had been checked, contact with military forces, artifacts and writings for the Crucible.
He ordered a stopover on the Citadel, authorizing three day's liberty for all crew.
When he appended the note in the log, he ran a search for some finer restaraunts that served Tali's favorite style of turian. Finding an upscale establishmemt they hadn't tried yet, he reserved a table for two.
Hey, love,
Meet me at the Paladin at 1800? I love spending time with you, we should grab some when we can.
-J
He showered and shaved, trimming his facial hair and taming his hair. He always dressed at least semiformal for their off-duty dates, no matter how often she said he was just as handsome in bloody armor.
He checked his omnitool for her response.
Hey, handsome,
Not really in the mood for turian, how about we go to Zakera Cafe for coffee, at 1800?
-T
Shepard shrugged and cancelled the reservation, replying.
Ok, beautiful. I'll meet you there.
-J
Shepard dodged as many inquisitive passers-by as he could, delivering claim slips for the precious cargo and communications codes the Normandy had brought on his way.
He felt like he was back in grade school with a crush, his breathing increased, heart pounded, adrenalin coursing through his veins. His belly felt both light and leaden, anticipation distorting his sense of time.
He longed to finally steal some private time with Tali, put aside the burdens of the galaxy for an hour, two hours.
He found the correct corridor, the sharp smell of the freshly-watered plants tockling his nose, the delectable scent of coffees and teas activating his hunger.
Tali waited there, her beauty shining as a goddess to him. Her soft purple dressings over her suit, her curves and lines beckoning to the Commander like a siren. He embraced her warmly, luxuriating in the feel of her slender, but strong arms wrapping around him.
Keeping an arm around her shoulders as they stood in line, they bantered about nothing of consequence.
So this is what we fight for. So that billions of citizens can have a date unspoiled by the killing lasers of Reapers or savage bite of husks.
They ordered, Shepard opting for an iced cappucino, Tali going with a gray, foamy dextro mix.
They sat down at a table, the background clicks and metallic voices of the ward's address system, chatterings of idle pedestrians, whines of motors a normal backdrop for a normal date.
"Shepard, we need to talk."
Shepard smiled, leaned forward to show he had his full attention on her.
"Of course, Tali. Anything."
"Shepard ... we've been together for almost a year now. And you are the sweetest, strongest, most determined man I have ever known. But ... I think we should break up."
Shepard's smile slowly left his face, the enormity of her words slamming into him harder than a charging krogan.
"Why?"
His eyes were wide in shock, his throat closing and eyes stinging. He had shared his heart and soul with Tali, and now ...
Tali took a shuddering breath.
"Its nothing you've done or haven't done. You've shown me things I'd never have seen or experienced otherwise. You have let me develop skills that I never knew I had. But ... I don't know how to describe it. But ... recently I just don't get excited when you message me, or feel aroused when you touch me. I ... I don't think I love you."
The cruelest cut of all, that all her sweet nothings, all his assurances were meaningless. Unreciprocated.
Untrue.
Shepard couldn't find it within him to say anything. A bleak, cold emptiness settled over his heart.
He shook his head, mouth working to say anything, anything to make it better, inspire her confidence.
"... and I'm a Fleet Admiral, as much as I thought I could handle front line duty and administrate, I just can't. I'll be rejoining the Flotilla tomorrow. I'm sorry."
She stood to leave.
Through tear-blurred eyes, Shepard managed to croak, "Thanks for the memories."
Then she had gone, leaving John Shepard, Alliance N7 Marine, Savior of the Galaxy, to cry alone.
This has been bugging me since July '13, its good to finally get it out.