Here we go, some mother-daughter bonding between Rose and Anya :)

Remember, all italics conversations take place in Russian.

Disclaimer: Vampire Academy belongs to Richelle Mead.

I was reading my favourite book in bed later that night when my bedroom door cracked open. "Yeah?" I asked, folding the corner of my page back.

Mom stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her. She sat down beside me on the bed, rolling her eyes when she saw what I was reading.

"That one again? Are you not bored of it by now?"

"Nope," I said, popping the 'p'. "But I am bored of you saying that every time I'm trying to read my favourite book."

"Touché" she conceded, and we sat in silence for a minute.

Mom was the one to speak first. "What's the matter, Anya? You seemed a bit off at dinner."

"Nothing really," I sighed. "It's just... it's weird, you know? Everyone being here. It feels like the different parts of my life are coming together, which should be great, but... there's just something that feels like its missing."

Mom smiled. "Maybe it's just because you're used to being around Aleks in Russia with everyone else there. Give Babushka a call tomorrow or Skype your friends." I nodded, but she hadn't finished. "There's more to it than that, though, isn't there."

I had been about to negate her question, tell her that there was nothing else bothering me. But like so often happened with me, unexpected words bypassed my brain and tumbled from my lips.

"I don't know what to do, mom. In some ways I think I need to grow up, but then I just want to stay young and not have the responsibilities. I mean, in 2 years, someone's life is gonna be in my hands."

After I said it, I realised that I really had been worrying about that. All the times I'd allowed (and encouraged) Sophia to use her Spirit powers for silly things when we all knew how dangerous it was, sneaking out of the school, and the fact that I was an reckless teenager with impulse control that often spent lessons daydreaming about the person sitting next to me. What kind of Guardian would I be, supposing I even got through graduation?

Mom smiled gently, a contrast to my inner turmoil. "Anya, don't worry about that yet. You still have some time yet. I didn't even realise that for another 2 years, and Lissa turned out fine. This is why we fought so hard to get the age law changed, so you wouldn't have to grow up so fast."

"But..." I trailed off.

"Look, honey. You are more mature than most girls your age. You don't just grow up all at once, anyway. I think your mind, body and heart should all do it at different rates."

"Huh?"

"Look. Those people at school that you can't stand- they act like they're all so grown up with their drugs and alcohol and crazy parties. I admit, I thought so too at the time, though I wasn't that bad." She made a face, and I knew she was talking about the other stuff that the girls got up to.

"But there has to be a balance, and they don't know how to control it. They go to parties and drink like they can handle it, but end up doing crazy shit afterwards. Their brains aren't developed enough to have any kind of common sense to say 'stop', and they're not emotionally strong enough to cope with the consequences."

I nodded in agreement.
"But you, Anya, are different. You have a fully functioning brain that tells you what a stupid idea that is, you can see that they're effectively playing pass the parcel with an AIDS-ridden vodka bottle and pin the tail on the donkey with their dicks."

I snorted at the mental image.
"But this means you space out a little into crazy town to compensate, which is absolutely fine.
You're also emotionally aware enough that you can empathise with others, and try not to do things that will screw with your emotions in the future. You won't have to regret."
Well...
"But that strength can also leave you weak sometimes, and because you know emotional pain and heartache, you cry over things they can't begin to understand."

"I guess that makes sense." I conceded. Then I threw her a curveball.
"But all those contradictions drive me crazy! What am I, mature or childish? Kind or bitchy, stable or crazy? Sometimes I feel like there are so many different sides to me that I had to name my different personalities to keep up with them!"
I know, schizophrenic much?

Mom looked sympathetic.
"Honey, nobody acts the same all the time around different people. Your personality is multi-faceted- you act different around different people. And that doesn't mean that some of the time you're being someone who you're not. It just means that you're human. Sort of."

I waited for her to explain further.
"I act different when I'm around different people. With my friends, I act kinda crazy, showing off a little and trying to make them laugh. When I'm just with you and your dad, I don't do that so much. I don't have to try so hard.
But just because I try to crack jokes around my friends, it doesn't mean it isn't me.
And you act different at home to what you do at school, obviously. It doesn't mean that either isn't the real you."

"But... how do I know what's the real me and what isn't? Because sometimes I'm doing something and I'm like, yeah, this is me. But later I'll be on my own and feel completely different, but still be myself."

She sighed, running a hand over my hair.
"Sweetheart, the phrase 'be yourself' was probably said by someone who had absolutely no personality whatsoever and lived out his life in solitary confinement. Because we never truly know ourselves, and that's just life.
But the thing to remember is, whatever part of your personality you're acting as, you need to ask yourself something.
You need to ask yourself if you feel like you're putting on a mask. If you're being someone you're not, and you ask that question, you'll know the answer deep inside. You'll feel like you're just acting a part in someone else's show, and if somewhere inside you have to question if that is who you really are- you're probably not."

I let her words sink in. "So, what you're saying is... there isn't just one 'me'?" "

Exactly," she told me, smiling. "You're the badass Anya, who'll punch anyone who gets in your way, or threatens those you care about. Then there's funny, crazy Anya, who just likes to act a tiny bit immature around your close friends, and have a good time. Then you're the compassionate Anya, who feels everyone's pain and wants to fix the world's problems. Then there's the hopeful, innocent part that just wants to be loved the way you love Aleks."

I stared, stunned. Mom laughed.
"Yes, I know about that. The way you look at him, the way you sometimes forget what you're trying to say. It's the only time I ever see you back down from a fight."
I looked down, but she tilted my face back up again.
"And that's OK. But you have to realise that those different versions of yourself aren't who you should be, would be or could be fighting against who you are, and you have to pick one to be. Because that wouldn't be you. All those people are you, Anya. Those different facets make up the gem that is you, and without them you wouldn't be whole."

Wow, that was a dad-worthy piece of Zen wisdom. She looked sympathetic.
"And I know as well as anyone that when one of those parts receives less attention than the others, then everything begins to crack and crumble. Since you and Aleks stopped talking, you've lost a part of yourself, and have begun to question who you are. So the way I see it, you have a couple of choices."

I looked at her to continue.
"You can go on as you are, and hope that you'll eventually move on and rebuild yourself in a completely new way, maybe stronger than before.
You could focus on a different part of your personality, use that in the place you would normally act around Aleks- cut him off and act like a badass bitch. Badmouth him if he tries to come near you, and let him know that he has missed his chance for good."

She saw the look of disapproval on my face.
"Or you can suck it up and try to talk to him, let him know the truth. Show him who you really are- every beautiful, crazy, dysfunctional part of you."

"Oh, thanks." I said sarcastically. She just smiled.

"And if that doesn't work, then, well. You have other people who love you, and who will support you. Let them fill the hole he left behind, and slowly you'll start to heal. One day, I promise, you will find somebody else who will love, and who will feel the same way about you."

If I had my way, I'd never move on from Aleks. But I know I'm not going to keep spending my life waiting for him if he's going to be like he has for the last few weeks- distant and cold.

"Is that what you tried to do when dad was turned?" I asked quietly.

Her expression turned rueful. "Yeah, I guess. Though that probably isn't the best example, since you know how Adrian and I turned out, and I really thought I'd never get him back."
She looked me in the eye then.
"Honestly, Anya, at your age I thought destiny or fate was just a load of shit people made up as an excuse for their mistakes. But then I met Dimitri, and even after everything was stacked against us, it turned out alright in the end. And after a conversation with Yeva, I guess I started to have a little more faith. And all I can say is, if it's meant to be, then it will turn out alright in the end. But you have to work for it if you really want it."

"Yeah, I guess so..."

Mom laughed. "Well, you're the one that sees the future, oh powerful one."

I glared. "You know I can't control it and it's fuzzy and barely ever useful."

She shrugged. "Still cool though."

I grinned. "Well duh, it's me."

We were silent again for a minute.
"Ok, so you gave me 3 options. But what do I do?"I pleaded.

Mom grinned. "Do you want responsible motherly advice, what I would have done at your age, or what I've learned in life?"

I pretended to ponder the decision. "Uhh, the third one."

Mom grinned. "Then you don't need my advice, you'll be fine."

I raised one eyebrow, knowing it would annoy her.
She just smiled gently. "Anastasia, this is something you really need to do on your own. Just remember. You may be a Belikov up here-" She tapped my temple. "But you're a Hathaway at heart." She placed a hand on my chest, over the necklace that Aleks had once got for me all those years ago.

She pulled me into a hug and I held on tight, so glad that I had her for a mother. "I love you, mom." I whispered.

She stroked my hair. "I love you too Anya, you crazy girl."

I heard footsteps in the doorway.
"Don't I get to join in the family bonding moment?" I heardsays ask.

Mom and I made room for him to join the hug. His arms went around the 2 of us easily.
Dad pulled away and brushed some hair out of my face.
"Nearly 16 years ago I held you in my arms and thought you could never be any more beautiful. But as the years pass you become more and more like your mother. Kind, beautiful and strong."

Mom huffed. "So much for 'joining in the family moment'. Freeze me out, why don't you?"

Dad and I laughed. "Come on, you understood most of that." He teased.

She shrugged. "Yeah, but it was effort to translate. Come on, the birthday girl needs her sleep."

I rolled my eyes. "16 years mom, not 16 months. And you're the geriatric ones who need beauty sleep. Fatigue causes wrinkles." I warned them.

Mom grinned. "Alright, but I'm not middle aged yet. Though I suppose I'd better get your dad to bed."

"Yeah, go on old man." I told him, quoting mom talking to grandpa.

He just shook his head and ignored my comment. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Night, papa." I kissed his cheek and he got up from the bed, taking mom's hand as she stood up too.

"See you in the morning, baby." She said, and just before she closed the door I saw her wink.

I flopped back on the bed, flicking the light switch as I did so.
Belikov mind, Hathaway at heart.

I lay there for a while as my mind sorted through what my heart was trying so desperately to tell me.

Just before it turned 12:00, I listened to Taylor Swift's Fifteen for the final time whilst I was that age.

I finally came to a decision on what I was going to do.
Talk to Aleks. Nothing to drastic, not too much of a drama. Keep it simple, and get my point across. Play it safe. My head told me.

Play it safe? I may have a cautious mind, but hey. At heart, I was a Hathaway...

I actually wrote most of this chapter 6 months ago, the night before my 16th birthday, to try and sort my own crazy mind out :P Reading back over it, so much has happened since then that has changed me, and in turn, the structure of this story. But I'm happy with how it's turning out anyway, in both ways.

I've been planning the 2nd and 3rd stories in this series, and I think you'll like where they're going. This particular story is more about Anya finding herself and establishing relationships, the next one will have more danger/drama and the last one will be just like :O DRAMA!

I'm gonna stop rambling now because I have to write down an idea for a new story that's been stuck in my head for a couple of hours, and just say that the next chapter will be up soon :)