Apologies for going AWOL, but at least the imminent release of The Fiery Heart has brought me back on track :) I'm so hyped for Adrian's POV!

Disclaimer: Vampire Academy belongs to Richelle Mead.

I woke up the next morning feeling like absolute crap. The events of yesterday kept running through my head on a loop last night, keeping me awake. The constant tossing and turning of trying to get comfortable enough to sleep had only added to my exhaustion.

I couldn't believe that it really happened. After everything these last couple of months, our friendship slowly crumbling, I'd never once thought it would end up like this.

All the anger I had felt yesterday was gone, and now I was just left with this hideously hollow ache in my chest. I sniffed, fighting back tears.
Great. So this is how the rest of the day would go.

Sophia must have heard me, as she looked up, hitting the off button on her alarm clock that had yet to make any noise. I noticed that she was already dressed and made up. Checking the time, I saw that it was still early.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked.

"Maybe," she replied apologetically. I didn't get why at first- I should be the one apologising- but then I did. She was sorry that she'd heard me crying, knowing that I'd hate it. It wasn't her fault of course, but she still felt guilty.

I wanted to say sorry myself, but that would mean acknowledging that I had been crying. She seemed to understand, since she spoke before I could. "You want me to bring you some breakfast up here?"

I shook my head. "That'll look like I'm running away. I want them to see how fine I am."

Another sympathetic smile. "Honey, you don't look fine. Maybe it's best if you just skip it today."

Frowning, I dragged myself out of bed. I couldn't look that bad, right?

The second I caught sight of my reflection, I changed my mind. Eew. Not exactly one of my best days to say the least. I looked exactly how I felt- tired, messed up, and horrible.

"Yeah, get me a donut," I sighed, giving in.

"Just one?" She asked incredulously. "Really?"

I nodded, raising one eyebrow. With a sigh, Sophia left the room. I let myself fall back onto the bed, a fresh wave of tears threatening to fall.

By the time Sophia got back with the food, I was half-way done making myself look presentable. I'd washed my hair twice, before deciding to straighten it so it fell over my face. Despite my efforts to conceal the sleepless night with foundation, powder and goth-worthy amounts of eyeliner, I still looked crappy. The magic of Maybelline was failing.

I ate the donut, even though I had no appetite, and reluctantly grabbed my bag to follow Sophia to lessons.

As we crossed the quad, I felt everyone staring at me. I'd dealt with gossip before, but never had it come from someone so close to me. I was only able to ignore everyone because Sophia was deliberately keeping up a steady stream of chatter about the book she was studying for American Literature, which she had after her Russian class. She wasn't worried about that one, since I'd helped her with the homework over the weekend. But for the Lit class, she'd had to do an essay on the symbolism of certain animals and what they represented, both for themes and characters.

All too soon though, Sophia headed off for the language block and I had to make the long walk to the gym alone. A couple of Moroi seniors sniggered as I passed them, though my glare shut them up pretty quick.

The changing room was empty when I got there, meaning I was running late. Brilliant. I changed into my gym gear, reluctantly tying my hair up. I left down a few strands that would undoubtedly get in my way later, but I refused to leave my face completely exposed.

When I was done, I slipped out the door and onto the benches that had been set up along one wall. I spotted a space next to Mason, and walked quickly over to him, but almost tripped over somebody trying to get there. I put my hand out to steady myself, and it landed on Tyler's knee.

"Hey Anya, if you're that desperate to touch me, we can skip the foreplay."

I gave him a disgusted look, sitting down as far away from him as possible, squishing up close to Mason.

"Oh, right. You've already had a booty call this morning and that's why you're late. Got it." He said with a cocky smirk.

"No, I got here late because I was beating the shit out of a little dick like you." I snapped.

"I can think of better things to do with you involving my dick..."

"If you mention your penis one more time, I'll rip it off and nail it to your forehead so everyone knows what you are, dickhead" I spat savagely, and I was pleased to see Tyler pale a little. Mason chuckled beside me.

"Crazy bitch." Tyler muttered, turning away from us. At least one thing was working in my favour this morning.

The rest of the day was no better. Stares and glares, hushed whispers and some not-so-hushed ones. It was like a ghost following me around, putting words into my mind so I couldn't escape. Teachers noticed and kept telling the class to shut up and work, but it didn't do much good. They just sniggered and spoke even quieter. It was almost worse when I didn't know what they were saying.

Aleks refused to meet my eye- not that I was particularly going out of my way to make contact with his, either.

But none of the pain from their harsh words was as bad as that as a result of the implications of my fight with Aleks. I'd told him I loved him, and it had resulted in this. It hurt so bad. It was as though a hand was crushing my insides, a knife in my heart. Ironic, since I'd actually been stabbed in the back. Well, figuratively speaking. But it might have hurt less.

Sitting at the dinner table with my friends, I really wasn't hungry. After half-heartedly picking at a few fries, even the slice of chocolate brownie in front of me wasn't appetising. I scraped the top with my fork, drawing patterns in the icing sugar.

"Come on, Anya. Eat something." Sophia coaxed.

"Not hungry." I replied sulkily.

Just then, Hayden walked past. "Go on. Feeders and blood whores need to eat a lot to make up for the nutrients they're giving up."

A couple of people at neighbouring tables laughed, distracting Hayden long enough for me to grab the cake and shove it in his face.

"You eat it!" I growled, before stomping off out of the hall. I went up to my room, and cried some more.

What had I become?

The next morning, I didn't bother going to breakfast, trading it for another half hour in bed. Not sleeping; I'd barely been able to catch a few hours since everything happened. But the thought of getting out of bed and going to combat class right now made me feel ill.

With 10 minutes until lessons started, I got dressed in my gym clothes. I couldn't be bothered to put something else on only to have to change it in a minute, Plus, I didn't want to have to go in the changing rooms before lessons- they were like Dhampir gossip central. I'd take a change of clothes with me for after the lesson.

After tying the laces on my sneakers, I slowly made my way down to the gym. I'd timed it just right; just slipping in as Mason and Marina did.

We began with stretches and weights for a warmup, before being told we were going outside to run. There was a collective groan from the class, to which Stan snapped at us to be quiet.

It was especially warm for late spring, and after the first couple of laps of the track I didn't feel so good. I stopped jogging when I reached Stan, who was overseeing the first part of the lesson.

"Guardian Alto," I rasped, "can I go and get a drink? Please?" I figured being polite would probably help right now.

He narrowed his eyes. "This is an exercise in stamina, Hathaway. If you're running from a group of Strigoi, are you really going to endanger your Moroi by shopping at a Starbucks? If not, then keep running. You still have 7 laps."

I glared, but did as he said. I didn't want to seem weak, and possibly endanger my chances of being able to guard Sophia when I graduated. I ran.

However, before I could complete another lap, I started to feel really light-headed. The ground beneath me seemed to rush past faster than I was moving, taking on a yellowish tint. Looking up, I saw the same was happening to the sky. It was like the static on a bad TV, and I could hear the blood pounding in my ears.

I stopped running. My legs felt weak and less than solid. Someone spoke beside me.

"Anya? Anya, are you okay? You've gone white, you don't look too good..."

The world spun once more before going black.

I awoke to white light, though filtered to be soothing to Moroi patients, it was still bright to me. I blinked a few times, willing my eyes to adjust.

"She's waking up." It was a male voice, and a second later I heard someone stand up and rush over.

"Anya, are you alright? I mean, obviously you're not, but-"

"Sophia," I groaned. "Inside voice." I felt like there was a tiny gnome banging way inside my head with a hammer or a pickaxe. Or two. I wished they'd stop.
Wait, why where there gnomes in my head in the first place?

"What the happened to me?" I asked, but it wasn't Sophia who answered.

"You passed out during training."

I opened my eyes again to see Dr. Olendski leaning over the bed, checking a needle that was taped into my arm.

Needle?!

I sat up, my head spinning with the sudden movement. "What happened?!" I asked again, "and why is there a fucking needle in my arm?"

Sophia shot me a look at my cussing, but it lacked intensity. Guess she wasn't going to be too harsh on someone who'd passed out.
Dr. Olendski however was unfazed. Guess she was used to dealing with my mom's outbursts; if she woke up with an IV in her arm, there'd be a lot more swearing.
"You lost consciousness about 2 hours ago during exercise, which appears to have been caused by overexertion." She nodded at Mason, who had apparently told her about my asking Stan to let me stop. "We hooked you up to an IV to get some fluids into you, which is ready to come out now. Everything else seems fine, I can find no underlying causes for your loss of consciousness other than dehydration and fatigue. When was the last time you ate something?"

Sophia looked worried, but I tried to reassure her with a smile before turning my attention back to the doctor. "I haven't been sleeping well the last couple of nights, so this morning it sort of caught up to me. I traded breakfast for extra time in bed, then had to train. So I haven't eaten since yesterday." And even then, it was only a bar of chocolate Mason had given me. But she didn't need to know the whole story.

Dr. Olendski rolled her eyes, tutting as she removed the IV needle. "You Dhampirs, always thinking you're made of steel." My flinch when she pulled the band aid off contradicted that slightly.

"I told Stan- Guardian Alto I didn't feel good, but you know, they come first."

She snorted. "You'll be no good to anyone if you don't take better care of yourself. I told your mother the same thing, but she was still in here every week..." she trailed off, grumbling to herself as she put the equipment away.

I turned, wide-eyed, to Sophia and Mason. "My parents- do they know about this?"

Mason nodded. "The school called to let them know, but I asked to speak to speak to your mom myself." He grinned. "They were more than willing to escape her wrath." He turned serious again. "Of course, she was almost on the first plane here, but I told her not to. Said that there was already enough of a scene, and that her and Guardian Belikov bursting in to attack Stan and fuss over you would probably hinder your recovery."

I took his hand, squeezing his fingers lightly. "Thanks Mase. I'm glad I have you to look out for me." I looked at Sophia, including her in this too. These were people who truly cared about me, more than I cared for myself at the moment.

I groaned. I was such an idiot.

"Yeah, just a little." Sophia confirmed. I must have said it out loud.

I bent over, burying my face in my arms, which rested on my legs under the hospital blanket. "Ha menneh nehnahl hnaw?" I mumbled, before turning my head a little and trying again. "How many people saw?"

"Only our class... but then they told everyone else what they saw." Mason told me.

"But that's even worse!" I exclaimed. "After everything, the rumours will be even worse..."

Sophia sat down beside me on the bed, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Anya. It's the weekend tomorrow, and you get the rest of today off, so you don't have to see anyone. Plus, the registration for ideas for the prom fundraiser starts tomorrow, so you won't be hot news for long."

I let it go with a noncommittal grunt, pushing the sheet back and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. Mason kicked my sneakers over to me and I shoved my feet into them, hoping I wouldn't keel over again when I stood up.

After a momentary wave of dizziness, I felt fine. Just then, Dr. Olendski returned. "Alright, Anastasia. You're no longer dehydrated, so that isn't a problem. Just make sure you have something to eat, and make sure you drink lots of water. A couple of these a day might help too." She handed me a bottle of sports drink. "The glucose will give you energy and the electrolytes will help keep you hydrated. "Drink some before you next start training too, just in case. But no physical activity for the next couple of days- have a rest."

I took the bottle. "Thanks doctor."

She smiled. "Feel better. I hope not to be seeing you anytime soon."

"Same to you doc."

I followed my friends out of the clinic, and we took the long way back to the dorms to avoid any students who may have been walking between lessons or training outside.

The next few days, I knew, wouldn't be easy. So far since waking up, I'd done a pretty good job of keeping Aleks from my mind. But it still hurt. And I still had a way to go before I felt alright again. The last few days had been stupid and irresponsible, pathetic really. Just because I was falling apart inside, I shouldn't have let myself fall apart physically. I wouldn't let that happen again.

But my heart was still breaking, and I still didn't want to look past tomorrow.

Maybe that was because I couldn't actually see tomorrow. Ever since the real-time vision when Aleks was slamming me behind my back, I hadn't seen anything. Even before that, psychic intuition had been thin on the ground. It was like there was a wall between me and it, or more accurately, I was chained to a wall behind me, pulling against the restraints, and the power was just out of reach.

I had been barred from using my gifts.

Next chapter up soon :)