Disclaimer: I don't own anything or any rights. I don't work for Degrassi, and I am not writing this for profit. So don't sue me; I don't have any money anyway.
My heart almost stopped the day I found out Sean was in jail. It was even more damaging when I discovered that Emma had been the one to turn him in. Racing had been good for Sean, it was something that helped to keep his mind off of things. It had been over two years since the shooting and things still weren't right between us. I was beginning to loose hope. I had even considered moving back home with my mother. I couldn't leave him though, I loved Sean way to much. I knew he should have stayed home that night, but he had to race Hazilatkos' son. I still find it very convenient that pretty boy got off with a slap on this wrist, while my man was getting jumped in the chow line.
Alex laid across her bed and closed her eyes, completely blocking out the Late Show that was blinking in her background. She was alone for a change. The past months had been emotionally draining for her, bouncing back and forth between Paige and Jay. She loved both of them so much, but how was that possible. With Jay she had a history. They helped each other through the dysfunction growing up. It was like they only had eachother. She shared her first little kiss with him in the sandbox back in kindergarten. In fact she had shared all of her first with him. It was like they were one person and maybe that had been part of the problem. Paige had meant so much to Alex as well. She helped her to be a person she never thought she could be. She gave her confidence and self-esteem despite her living conditions. She made her feel beautiful, and contrary to popular belief, their relationship made her feel like a woman. Jay had done so many things to hurt Alex in the past, but she knew him and she knew that he didn't do it intentionally. It was the same sense that Paige hurt her in. She hurt her when she denied their relationship, she hurt her when she put her down, or sometimes made her feel like a lesser person. She didn't do it to try and hurt Alex, it was just how she was. Life could never be simple, Alex had hoped that Jay or Paige would do something crazy or hurtful so she could choose one over the other, but so far both of them had been trying to do everything right.
"Hey," Jay said quietly as he walked in their bedroom that night. He could tell that Alex was deep in thought, and he was pretty sure he knew why. He still needed to tell her about Taryn and he could only hope the news wouldn't mark the end of their relationship.
"Oh, hey Jay," Alex said once she noticed Jay in the room. "Where have you been, you know Sean came back home tonight right." Jay nodded as he pulled his shirt off.
"Yea, T told me they finally talked some sense into him. He knows that Ellie has always been there for him. She's human and she made a mistake. We all made mistakes you know." Jay said as he got in the bed with Alex.
"Jay we need to talk about us." Alex said seriously.
"Ok, what about us?" Jay asked as he made himself comfortable in the bed. Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn't want to say what she was about to say but she knew that she had to.
"Where do you really see our relationship going Jay? We don't know if we can ever really have kids. We don't have our own place. We don't have a savings. Jay you have hurt me more times than I can remember, and I don't know but can we really deal with being together for the rest of our lives." Alex looked down, she could feel the tears burning her eyes as they attempted to force themselves out. Jay was quiet for a long time. He leaned back and focused on the television. He didn't have a response; was Alex trying to break up, he was very confused. "Jay I know this is hard but I really need for you to talk to me." Alex said after a few minutes, now visibly crying.
"What do you want me to say Alex," Jay said angrily. "If you want to break up than just say it. Don't worry about how I feel, or how much I need you. Don't think about how you make me better or how I love you. Forget about the fact that no matter what we have always found our way back to each other. Forget about the stuff we have loss or the things we could gain. You know what," Jay said sadly as he got up from the bed and began to pull something fro his pocket. "I need some air." He said bitterly as he placed a white box on the bed and began to walk out the room.
"Jay don't leave, you always do this. I'm not trying to break up with you, I'm just trying to be realistic." Jay looked at her and rolled his eyes before slamming the door shut and leaving out the house. Alex sighed as she fell back in the bed, angered by how much the situation had played out like she expected. She rolled over and picked up the square box Jay had left on the bed. She examined it for a few seconds before popping the lid off. She shot up and almost fell off the bed when she saw the diamond ring inside.
"I swear Ellie, I think that was the best sex we ever had." Sean smiled as he sat up against the foot of the bed.
"How did we get on the floor again?" Ellie laughed.
"That's a good question." Sean smiled as he leaned over and kissed his wife one more time. "I was a jerk... for leaving." Sean said slowly after he broke the kiss. "I still want you to go to school this semester. I'll put in extra hours or something, we can make it work." Sean said sincerely.
"No Sean, there's no way. I'm going to have to work full time, we need to save all the money we can. I didn't want to admit it but," Ellie hesitated before she continued. " I am kind of happy about this new baby. I don't know how to explain it yet but I kind of love him or her already." Ellie smiled as she placed her hands on her stomach.
"I can't imagine loving another child as much as we love Mykel, but I think I know what you mean," Sean said equally happy as he placed his hands on top of Ellie's.
"I'm almost done this book anyway." Ellie said as she nuzzled her head back into Sean's chest. "I think I am going to make it before deadline, and my publisher has high hopes, and all he read was the concept."
"If that book sells like I think it will, than we will be set." Sean beamed. Maybe life was going to look up from here.
Alex couldn't believe what she was seeing. Had Jay Hogart, her Jay actually bought her a ring? It all made sense, why he couldn't pay any of the bills at the apartment, where all his money was going. He was so, so, stupid, but she loved him for it. She jumped up out of the bed and ran after him. She had to make sure this wasn't some sort of sick joke.
"I take it you like the ring." Jay said from the stoop as he exhaled some cigarette smoke from his mouth.
"I can't believe you Jay, that you would take all of your money and spend it on this ring. It was so, so-"
"Stupid right," Jay said cutting Alex off but still not looking at her.
"Amazing," Alex smiled as she sat down on the steps next to Jay. "It fits my finger perfect," She said slowly, as she been to feel dizzy by the smell of Jay's cigarette smoke.
"You aren't supposed to wear that unless you say yes." Jay stated simply as he looked over at Alex.
"You haven't asked me anything for me to say yes to," Alex said as she stood up when she finally realized that it was Jay's cigarette that was making her feel sick.
"I would ask you but I just figured what's the point when you can't see us making it or whatever you said. I just wanted you to see what you could have had before I took that ring back and got my money." Jay answered as he flicked his cigarette and stood up.
"That's some bullshit Jay and you know it," Alex smiled. "If you were going to take the ring back you wouldn't have left it in the room for me to take. You should already know once I get this in my hands you aren't getting it back no matter what my answer is."
Jay couldn't help but smile. He knew from her reaction that Paige was just a convenient distraction, that Alex really did want to be with him and that they could make it through anything. He was so happy that he almost forgot that he needed to tell her about Taryn. He wasn't going to lie to Alex anymore. Lying is what he did to everyone else not the people that he loved. He chuckled at the fact that he was becoming slightly sappy, and looked up at Alex.
"I'm still waiting for you to ask me your question Jay," Alex smiled.
"Lexie, before I ask you I need you to be okay with something." Jay said as he walked over and took her hands into his.
"Ok, sure what is it. You're not gay are you?" She laughed.
"Lexie," Jay began, a very serious tone in his voice. "Amy's daughter," he said before he took a deep breath. "She's my daughter to." Jay could feel Alex shaking as the words escaped his mouth.
"What are you talking about?" Alex asked now getting angry.
"I went to see them today, and I looked at her, really looked at her. I am so sorry Lexie but-" Jay couldn't finish before Alex pulled her hands out of his and took the ring off throwing it at him.
"I can't believe you Jay. I can't fucking believe you." Alex yelled angrily as she walked quickly down the street. It was 2:00 am, and it was no secret where Alex was going.
Sean was surprised when he woke up before Ellie the next morning. That's when all the memories from the night before came flooding back to him. He still couldn't believe she was pregnant again. It was surreal. He quietly got out of bed so she could rest and made his way down to the kitchen.
"Jay," Sean said surprised. "What are you doing up man?" Sean asked his best friend as he made his way into the kitchen.
"I couldn't sleep last night." He shrugged.
"You and Alex have a fight or something?" Sean asked as he went to make some coffee.
"I'm sure Paige helped her to get over it." Jay said as he stood up.
"Ouch man," Sean felt bad for his friend. He knew how much Alex meant to him. He knew that Jay had always regretted the things that he had done to her and beat himself up about it all of the time. He knew Jay, and Jay was not the type to show emotion. He could only hope that Alex could understand that. They needed to be together, if they weren't, it would completely destroyed their little unit. Their sense of a functional dysfunction. Sean was about to try and comfort his friend when the house phone rang.
"Hello?" Sean asked as he picked up the receiver.
"Sean, what the hell?" Towerz exclaimed on the other end of the line.
"Oh hey man, why are you calling the house phone?" Sean said as he walked over to the table and sat down.
"I don't know how all four of you have cell phones and none of you answered them all night. It took me hours to remember your house number. I called the same old lady like four times and she cussed me out bad the last time I called." Towerz said not letting down in his rant.
"Ok man, you reached us now, what's up." Sean laughed.
"Libs had the baby a few hours ago, at 6:13 am to be exact." Towerz said happily as he smiled through the phone.
"Are you serious," Sean yelled as he jumped up from his chair. "Oh man I told you she was in labor for real."
"Yea, we joked about that the whole time." Towerz laughed. "He's perfect Sean, tell everyone. His name is Aaron Terrell Preston III and he was seven pounds six onces. He looks like Libs but he looks like he's going to get dark like me." Sean was so happy for his friend. He wanted to be there for him though like he had been before, and like Towerz had been for him when Mykel was born.
"Libs, is knocked out and I think I may take a nap too for a while. You guys should come down this afternoon around 2:00 to see him." Towerz yawned.
"Ok man, we'll be there try and get some sleep." Sean said as they hung up the phone.
"Libs had a boy," Sean smiled. "We are going down today around 2:00, so make sure you are ready ok. I'm going to go tell Ellie." Sean said as he happily ran back up the steps and forgetting about Jay's problem in the midst of all the excitement.
A/N: I am so sorry it took me so long to update guys. I just haven't been home to upload any files. I have been so busy with school, work, and volunteering. I hope you like this chapter. It was one of my favorites for some reason lol. I know this whole Jalex Palex triangle seems pretty ambiguous but you will find out within the next two chapters who she picks. Please review, I truly appreciate you all !