This is the one-year anniversary of being a member on this site! Here's to many more stories :D Thanks to everyone who's been a part of this and supported me!

Disclaimer: Vampire Academy still doesn't belong to me. Maybe if it did, I wouldn't have to wait so long to see the film -.- I don't own the songs either.

The stage was dark as I stepped out, walking quietly to where my guitar rested. I picked it up and slung the strap over my shoulder, the familiar weight of it in my hands allowing me to relax a little. Once everyone was in position, I gave Lily the signal to start the show.

The lights flicked on, and thankfully the audience remained mostly in darkness. It helped with nerves that way. We were going to go straight in with a song, starting off with a slightly sadder one, then bridging into a more upbeat one, before we'd address the crowd and continue with the concert.

I started singing, backed up with only simple chords from my own guitar.

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
Everyone else joined in here, Sophia singing and everyone else playing their instruments.
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
Sometimes, I got so caught up in visions of the future that I failed to realise when something was just a daydream.
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them
Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now
Tell them we were happy
What had bothered me the most was the lies Alex had believed and how easily he'd chosen them over me.
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worse
Those 2 lines summed up everything perfectly.
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear
It was hard to accept, but I knew better now.
I know, I know

And now when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them
Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now
Tell them we were happy
And my heart was broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible!
Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did...

We cut the last chorus and switched a couple of words to allow us to move into the next song easier. Sophia stopped singing and Mason joined me instead. The tempo of the song kicked up, as did the intensity. I've been trying to make sense
I've been shouting under my breath
How's any of this in my interest?
When you sold me out, I must've not got the cheque
I allowed a huge grin to slide across my lips as I began to sing. This song would be my payback.
Your lust is a lie, but it comes as no surprise
Time after time, it goes right past the line
I do my best to, to make amends with you
But I just can't see the end oh

Don't hold your breath, I'm not losing sleep over you
I was done letting him rule my life. I had been for a while now.
I'm Mr Reckless with a capital R
Don't hold your breath, I'm not losing sleep over you
I'm Mr Reckless with a capital R
Don't hold your breath, I'm not losing sleep over you
I'm Mr Reckless, and you're defenseless

And isn't it funny how
Those black clouds follow you around?
It's Karma smiling down
Just let me know when it's in town
You act like the world owes you a favour
You want it all but you don't like the taste, oh
You've been throwing bricks at my window
Like there's no better way to say 'Hello'
Hello...

Don't hold your breath, I'm not losing sleep over you
I'm Mr Reckless with a capital R
Don't hold your breath, I'm not losing sleep over you
I'm Mr Reckless, and you're defenseless

I'm the devil on your shoulder
I'm the conscience in your mind
I'm the feeling that you, you cannot hide
I'm the devil on your shoulder
Telling you that love is blind
It's OK when, it's hiding in disguise
Your loose lips let, let words slide
You spend too much time talking about my life
Stories you will spin just for a power trip
It's safe to say that I am not into it
We'd see how far that got Alex now. By this point, my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I could see him with Hayden and Brooke, ingering at the back of the hall. Even as I watched, Brooke tried to pull him away, but he shook off her arm.
In the picture you are not
Someone's in your spot
This is the result of people moving on
Good luck with killing time
You won't be killing mine
I'll do my best
To always be on your mind...
Your mind...

Don't hold your breath, I'm not losing sleep over you
I'm Mr Reckless with a capital R
Don't hold your breath, I'm not losing sleep over you
I'm Mr Reckless with a capital R
Don't hold your breath, I'm not losing sleep over you
I'm Mr Reckless, and you're defenseless

The best... you never had.

A cheer went up as we finished, and Lily raised the lights a little so Marina could address the crowd. The hall was absolutely packed, which was saying something. There were enough seats for everyone in the school, and they'd practically been filled.

"Hi everyone! Thanks for coming to see us tonight. Your entry fee will go towards the sophomore prom, so it's much appreciated. Anyway, on with the concert. Outcast Monarchy!"

Next, we did Part of Me, Girl on Fire and a bunch of other stuff that Ash and Mason had forced us to 'do some non-girly-shit'. I let them do it because it then meant that they couldn't complain when I suggested something they called 'country shit'. It was a little sappy, but I didn't care. That was what was on now.

If I live to be a hundred
And never see the seven wonders
That'll be alright
If I don't make it to the big leagues
If I never win a Grammy
I'm gonna be just fine
Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemarie's daughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done my momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends that love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

So when I make a big mistake
And when I fall flat on my face
I know I'll be alright
Should my tender heart be broken
I will cry those teardrops knowing
I will be just fine
Cause nothing changes who I am
Aleks shouldered his way through the crowd, pushing towards the front. He looked as like a kicked puppy. I knew why. For the first time, I'd admitted that our friendship was over; even if it was through a song. I'd implied it before, but there was no mistaking these lyrics. I'd already fallen on my face- quit literally- and despite it being mostly his fault, Alex hadn't been there to help me pick up the pieces. In a way, I was thankful for everything he'd done. It had made me stronger.
I am Rosemarie's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done my momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends that love me
And they know where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am
That's who I am

After that song, the boys wanted to do a heavy metal number. I left the stage- we had a break after this anyway, and headed outside to get some fresh air. It was so hot in that room.

Even outside, I still felt a little claustrophobic as the music thumped from the hall. I suspected there was only one place on campus that the music wouldn't reach.

I headed up to my rooftop, choosing to ignore the flash of movement I spotted in my periphery as I headed to the stairs. It was moving too slowly to be a threat, and I didn't care enough to stop.

When I reached the roof, I leaned over the wall, letting the chill breeze caress my face. The rising sun was creating smudges of pink on the horizon, but the moon still refused to relinquish its grip on the night.

I felt his presence before he spoke.

"Anya, I know you're here. The door was open, so you obviously knew I'd follow."

I stepped out of the shadows, arms crossed over my chest defensively, as though I was protecting my heart from him.
"Someone has an over-inflated ego, though I guess we knew that already. I could have just forgotten to close the door behind me, left it open by mistake."

"You don't make mistakes like that, Anya. You're too good."

"Everyone makes mistakes, Aleks. Though some more than most."

He sighed, leaning against the wall. "I guess I deserved that. And I truly am sorry for what I said. I know it isn't true."

"Well, you should. Have you figured it out yet?"

He frowned. "What?"

I rolled my eyes. "You were the guy in Russia, Aleks. Not boyfriend obviously, but the reason I didn't want to be with anyone else. Boyfriend just sounded less pathetic than 'guy I'm in love with but he doesn't even know'. And after that kiss, I kinda hoped I had a chance. Stupid I know, but still. I hoped it meant something to you, even just a little. It meant a lot to me."

Aleks looked guilty. "I'm sorry about that. If I'd known how you felt, I wouldn't have played around with your feelings. I got caught up in the moment."

I laughed bitterly. "Oh, just what every girl wants to hear. The guy she loved telling her that her first kiss was a mistake."

"First- shit, Anya. And I didn't mean it like that. I don't regret it, but to me it was a kiss between friends. An amazing, perfect one, but..."

"I'm just a friend. I get it, really. I was naive, my mistake. I won't make it again."

We were silent for a long time.

"I miss this. Can we stop fighting and move past this?"

"Can we? First, we're not fighting, Aleks. There's nothing to fight for. You have your friends, your life, and I have mine."

"But I miss having you as a friend. I miss my best friend, Anya."

"So do I, Aleks." I thought back over his last words, how he'd skirted around the point of his new 'friends', and of his actions over the last few months. "So do I. But I'm not sure if he even exists anymore."

"Wait, what's that supposed to mean?" Aleks looked shocked and a little hurt. Though I had a feeling that it was his pride, and not his heart, that were feeling the pain.

"Come on. The fact that you even have to ask that proves my point. You've changed, Aleks. We used to be so in synch, you'd never have believed someone else's word over mine, or accused me of lying because I'm jealous. It's like you don't know me anymore, and you don't want to. And I definitely don't know you- no, I don't even recognise you. It's like I'm talking to a stranger. You say you miss me, but what do you expect to change?"

"I want my best friend back, so that we can all get along and stop this feud."

I couldn't stop the maniacal laugh that escaped my lips. "Ha! Why don't you believe me? Your 'friends' don't even like you- they're screwing each other behind your back!"

Aleks looked pissed. "See, this is what I mean. You happily believe those rumours, but when they're about you, everyone who believes them is your enemy." He was being an asshole again, and I saw it for what it was. His coping mechanism- shift the attention onto someone else so they hurt too much to notice you were feeling the same.

"I give up!" I shouted, throwing my hands up. "You think you're all grown up Aleks, making new friends and all these decisions. But you're just growing into someone else, and you're making enemies and harsh judgements, fed by lies you're too stubborn to see for what they really are. I've grown up enough to realise we've grown in different directions."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You have your life, and I have mine. Both of us believe that ours is better. But believe me. One day, your world is going to come crashing down around you, and you'll realise that you've pushed away everyone that cares about you." Something flickered in his eyes, a spark of emotion similar to pain or regret. But it was gone so fast I could have imagined it. The smirk that replaced it made the second option more likely. Anyway, I spoke more softly this time. "Look, I've tried to help you. But I can't hang around any longer, or it'll drag me down as well. I have a life to live and a destiny to follow, with or without you."

Aleks' tone was mocking, but I heard a shred of truth and hurt between his words. "I thought you said you loved me. That I was the one person in your life you needed most, that you couldn't live without."

"You used to say the same thing, but you were fine whilst I fell apart. But I was strong enough to put myself back together, with the help of people who didn't hurt me. I know there's something you're keeping from me, but I don't know what it is. I've made up so many excuses for you, both to myself and others, and tried to make sense of what's happened to you. But if I spend one more minute analysing why you did what you did, I'll go insane. So to answer your question; as a desperate act of self-preservation, I let all that go. I learned to live without you, and I finally managed to find a way to be happy and see a future that didn't revolve around you."

Aleks was silent for a minute, frowning slightly as he always did when faced with a problem he couldn't quite solve. As for me, I felt like I was standing on the precipice of something huge, and I knew that my next words would shape who I was forever.

"So, you're saying..." Aleks said when he finally spoke. His voice was uncertain, and I saw yet another new side of him. Not the confident, strong person I loved. Not the arrogant, self-absorbed dick that I hated. But an unsure, wounded victim that had made no effort to confront his demons.

And for the first time in my life, I felt pity towards Aleks. Not the kind of pity that made me want to take him into my arms and promise him that everything was going to be alright. But the kind of pity that made me want to put him out of his misery, because if he wouldn't tell me what was broken, I didn't have a way to fix it. And then I felt like rolling my eyes at this pathetic creature in front of me, he didn't even realise what he was doing, but really expected me to do this.

It felt numb, but in a good way. Like after all of this heartache, I wasn't the one losing anymore. On one level, I wanted to help Aleks. But I also knew that it wouldn't help him, and I'd only end up hurting myself.
After all this emotional turmoil, I finally felt at peace. It was fragile, like a bubble waiting to burst. Aleks was the pin, and I couldn't let him bring me down again. This was about more than just us. I remembered Yeva's dream, and what she had said. If I couldn't save myself, I couldn't save anyone.

For the first time in my life, I decided to put myself first.

"I'm saying that I've given up on us. I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has."

I stared into Aleks' eyes for one more second- the eyes I loved so much. I would always love my Aleks, my Sasha. But in the same way the person standing in front of me was a shadow of that person, my love for him was like a fading echo, dispersing like the ripples of a pebble dropped in a pond, or the Autumn leaves that had been holding on for too long, and knew it was time to let go.

A single tear slipped from the corner of my eye, and it said more than words ever could.

And then I turned and walked away.

I returned to the concert after that, finished the set and left the concert hall smiling at the praise given by both teachers and students alike. Only Sophia saw that something was different.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly.

I looked her in the eye, and after realising both of the obvious answers were lies in their own way, I told her the one thing that was true. "I'm not sure," I said. "But ask me again tomorrow."

Like father, like daughter. *Hides behind Dimitri* You get it, right Dimka?

I think this may be the antepenultimate chapter of this instalment of Next Generation... just a couple more chapters left. But don't worry; Anya's story isn't anywhere near finished yet.

Reviews are much appreciated :)