The Theory of Relativity

A/N: has nothing to do with the actual theory of relativity.

Disclaimer: Own nothing.

Timesetting: summer between S4 & S5

A/N: for the record, Wednesday Addams in this fic is largely influenced by three sources: the original comics, Christina Ricci's version, and Raven from Teen Titans. So, if she doesn't exactly meet your ideal version, my apologies, but, while I wanted to stay true to form, I also wanted to update the character as befitting my intentions for her in this plot. Enjoy. Oh, and continuity for Wednesday is from the movies, with miscellaneous parts thrown in for good measure. Enjoy, again!

ÀÀÀ

"Xander," Buffy said slowly, "It's a…hand."

"Yes, she is, Buffy," Xander said as the hand began to crawl up his arm, coming to rest on his shoulder, "And she prefers to be called 'Sophia.'"

"…It's a hand," she said.

"It's probably possessed," Giles said, cleaning his glasses, "I know of a spell."

"Please," Wednesday interrupted with a roll of her eyes, "Just because it doesn't fit your idea of the norm does not mean it is pure evil, or that it is even necessarily evil. All it means is that it is extraordinary."

"…It's a hand," Buffy said again.

"And you're a Slayer, your friends are witches, a watcher, and…a piece of cardboard," she muttered, ignoring Riley's look of disdain, "You have no right to judge."

"Cool," Xander said as Sophia began to gently massage his shoulder, "Thank you, Sophia, that feels really good."

"…A detached hand is rubbing your shoulders, and all you can think of is that it feels good," Buffy asked in sheer disbelief.

"I've seen weirder," Xander countered, "And so have you."

Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but, closed it just as quickly…she had seen weirder, but, the fact that he and this girl, Wednesday, were taking it so well was beyond her.

"Are you living on campus, Wednesday," Xander asked his friend.

"I'm not," Wednesday responded with a slight frown, "Father paid for a place for me to stay, a mansion off of the campus."

"Not on Crawford Street," Xander asked automatically, noting the looks on both Buffy and Willow's faces.

"No, I well remember what you told me of the place," Wednesday deadpanned, "I believed that you and I would begin to spend time together in a comfortable place once you found out I was here," for the first time that night, it seemed as though Wednesday was uncomfortable, her voice gaining a bit of nervousness as she continued, "If you'd like to, that is."

"Of course I would," Xander responded with a smile, "I loved hanging out with you at the mansion."

Wednesday's nervousness seemed to subside at that, though she did not smile.

"…Your father bought you a mansion," Willow asked, shocked beyond belief.

"Yes, he did," Wednesday deadpanned, rising to her feet, "And I need to finish moving in if I am to get to bed at a descent hour."

"Let me help you," Xander said, rising as well and gathering up her bag.

"Sophia," Wednesday called to the hand, "Would you join me?"

Sophia, having been afraid that she would end up back in the box, eagerly scuttled over to Wednesday, crawling over Riley and Buffy as she did so, and quickly leapt onto her shoulder.

"Walk me to my car, Alex," Wednesday stated as she exited the room.

"Be back, guys," Xander called as he followed her out, shutting the door behind him.

Her friends sat in silence for a long moment afterwards, before finally, one of them voiced what they were all thinking.

"What the Hell just happened," Tara said loudly, completely out of character.

"I believe we have just met one of Xander's friends," Giles stated casually, "…an odd friend, but, a friend…I believe…"

"She's…nice," Willow lied, "…Or…what the Hell just happened?"

ÀÀÀ

"You know, you genuinely freaked out my friends," Xander smiled as he followed his once crush out to her car.

"Alex, is this the face of a woman who cares," she asked sarcastically, pointing to her face, which held that ever-constant expression of nothing.

"Absolutely not," he said with a smile.

At first, while he'd been staying at the Addams Mansion, he and Wednesday hadn't got along at all. Gomez had taken an instant liking to him, seeing a bit of himself in him, and had immediately set about teaching him how to use a sword, to golf, and other useful skills. Fester and Pugsley had also taken a liking to him, after he'd noticed them putting together a bomb in the basement and had immediately noted that they were using too small a charge in order to get the desired bang. Needless to say, their favorite pastime had been blowing up sheds and embankments and the occasional warehouse.

Morticia and her mother had despised him immediately upon his arrival, already aware that he and his friends killed vampires and demons, or as she called them, 'our undead friends and family, some of whom we have known for centuries.' It had taken him time, but, eventually, he was able to worm his way into their affections. Gomez was, remarkably, completely uncaring about his position on the undead and the supernatural, claiming that 'every man must have his cause.' In spite of all this, Grandmama Addams had taught him several protection spells in hopes of keeping him alive (she claimed that she would miss his company), and Morticia had began to treat him as a surrogate son after seeing the way he and Pugsley got along.

Wednesday, at first, had barely acknowledged his existence. She professed that it wasn't because of his nightly habits, believing that all he did was give them the chance to 'accept the gift that is death,' as she called it. The reason why she refused him, he found out, was because he hid all of his emotional insecurities and instabilities through the mask of the joker. She could see in his eyes, she claimed, that he was truly unhappy and that, even though she acted unhappy and morbid, she was happier than he ever had been. It had taken some time, but, eventually, he and Wednesday had come to an understanding of each other. She genuinely began to enjoy his company, and he did as well. He'd found her to be, while distant, morbid, and blunt, an extremely charming person, as well as a philosophical one. She'd found him to be 'tolerable,' at least in terms of her relations with 'normal people.'

He had actually began to crush on her before he'd left…and, if he was any judge of the female character (which he wasn't, but, he could still be right), she was crushing on him as well.

"Where are you living now, Alex," she'd also refused to call him Xander, simply because she found the name to be 'anachronistic in relation to the rest of the world.'

"In my family's basement," Xander said with a sigh, "God, I hate them."

"Then, do something about it," Wednesday returned, a slight amount of anger in her voice, "You can move out, you know."

"I have nowhere to go," Xander replied, "I don't want to be a burden to my friends."

"…You could," that rare nervousness came back as she leaned against her car, "Come live with me. I've got…plenty of room."

Xander stared at her for a moment…then, he smiled.