The Theory of Relativity

A/N: has nothing to do with the actual theory of relativity.

Disclaimer: Own nothing.

Timesetting: summer between S4 & S5

ÀÀÀ

"Xander," Anya demanded as she walked up to him, "Who is this?"

"…Ugh, Anya, hi," Xander said, nervous as Hell, "This is-"

"Instead of demanding an answer from him about me," Wednesday interrupted, pissed off, "Why don't you simply ask me what my name is?"

"…Who is this girl, Xander," she demanded once more, "And why does she insist on being so rude?"

"…You know what, An," Xander said, getting pissed as well, "Ask her. Leave me the Hell out of it."

Anya stared at him in disbelief.

"So, you break up with me, and now, here you are, flouncing your girl right in front of my face," Anya raged.

"Stop," Wednesday interrupted grimly, "I am not, nor ever will be, 'his girl.' I am my own, no one else's."

"And," Xander continued, "I didn't break up with you. You're the one who just got up and left because you were scared. You just tried to turn it around and blame it on me. Secondly, it's none of your goddamned business who I go out with, ok, Anya! Think, for God's sake, if you were still a vengeance demon, would you be here exacting vengeance for yourself?"

Anya stared off for a moment as she considered.

"…No," she admitted, "But, I should be!"

"Enough," Xander said, "Anya, you had your shot, Hell, you had two shots! You've been alive over a thousand years, you can handle yourself. Now, just leave me alone!"

Xander groaned in frustration as he walked away from Anya, heading over to Wednesday's car. Anya meant to pursue him, but Wednesday came up to her, arms crossed.

"We haven't been properly introduced," she deadpanned, "I'm Wednesday Addams."

"…Of the Addams Family," Anya said, fear written upon her face.

"Be afraid," Wednesday leaned in, "Be very afraid."

ÀÀÀ

"So, what do you know about the Addams', Giles," Buffy asked, "You said you know her father?"

"Gomez," Giles said with a slight grin, "He is the most childish man I have ever met. Him and Xander would get along infamously. He was captain of my fencing team during my first year at Oxford. He comes from 'old money,' as they say, and…well, in spite of his shortcomings and…idiosyncrasies, he is a good-hearted man…in spite of his unusual habits."

"Like," Willow encouraged.

"Well, he was insanely happy when he crashed model trains together," Giles remembered, "I swear, the man would put explosives in the trains just to get the best bang he could get."

Willow and Buffy shared a look.

ÀÀÀ

"Jiminy Christmas," Xander shouted as he began to trudge up the walkway to Wednesday's mansion, "You weren't kidding when you said it was big."

The mansion was fairly large, with four levels, five if it had a basement, and it had a covered deck, along with several balconies. The very top came in a tower-like shape, with one window for each side. The house was deep in the woods, centered inside of a dead patch of trees, with a moor behind the house. The house itself was gated entirely with uninviting spikes littered all over them. All in all, it was the kind of house he fully expected her family to buy.

"It has a basement," Wednesday remarked, "The electricity won't be hooked up for another week or so, so we'll have to do with candlelight."

"I'm sure you're used to that," Xander said, remembering that very rarely was there an electric light bulb on in the Addams mansion.

"Quite," Wednesday remarked with a small smile, "I seem to recall you jumping out of your skin each time Uncle Fester or Lurch came by."

"Well, they scared me in that light," Xander argued as he and Wednesday began to drag her luggage up to the house.

Soon, they were inside, dropping down her luggage as they examined the interior. It could only have been described as 'Victorian Gothic.' Or 'Hellmouthy,' as Xander would put it. Wisely, though, he kept his mouth shut.

"Are you staying," Wednesday asked him quietly, afraid of the answer, "I know it's not your home, but…you're always welcome here."

"…I can see why you like it," Xander said.

"You're stalling," Wednesday said.

"I know," he replied, "It's not you…the house scares the crap outta me."

"It's not haunted," she explained casually, "Grandmama checked for me. She was disappointed, but knew you would like that."

"…I'd love to," Xander said, "But, why don't you stay with me tonight? I only have a basement to offer, but, it'd be better than being in the cold."

"I like it," Wednesday protested, "But, if it'll convince you…"

"You're above such things as bribery, Wednesday," he chided her lightly, "Why're you so nervous?"

"…The only crushes I've ever had are on Marilyn Manson and Jack Skellington," Xander had to smile at that, "I never…ever envisioned myself wanting to go out with someone like you," she offered no apology, and he didn't expect one…it was the truth and, in truth, he never would have expected himself to have fallen for someone like Wednesday, "I don't know how to be around you…you find me creepy, even though you care for me. I try to be careful around you, so I don't scare you away."

"Don't worry," Xander said with a smile, "You can be yourself around me…you were before we even became friends, remember," he wrapped an arm around her, and she leaned into him slightly, "Don't water yourself down to suit me."

She smiled at him.

"Let's go out tonight, after we settle you in," Xander said suddenly, "We'll hit every club in Sunnydale within an hour."

"How many clubs are there," she deadpanned.

"Four, two if you exclude vampire ones," she became intrigued upon hearing that, "No."

"But," she protested.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!"

"…Coward."

"Creepy girl," he replied, still smiling.

"…I hate you," she returned.

"Same, here," the two embraced slightly, "Alright, but only if you promise to not do something stupid like let one feed off you."

"I'm an Addams," she replied with pride, "You have to fight for my blood."

"I'll say that for ya," he grinned, "You're weird as Hell, but, you don't back down from anything."