The Theory of Relativity

A/N: has nothing to do with the actual theory of relativity.

Disclaimer: Own nothing.

Timesetting: summer between S4 & S5

ÀÀÀ

Xander walked in with trepidation as he followed Wednesday inside the club. She, on the other hand, walked in without an ounce of fear. There were times when he envied her, and now was one of those times.

"I had to mention the vampire clubs, didn't I," Xander said with a sigh, "Why did I have to mention them!?"

"Because, you're an idiot," Wednesday deadpanned.

"Oh, my God," Xander and Wednesday turned around as they both heard a familiar voice call out to them, "Xander Harris!"

"Oh, God," Xander cringed as Harmony Kendall walked up to him, a cup of blood in her hands.

"What the Hell are you doing in here, you're not turned," she said, eying him slightly, "Oh…you're addicted to the bite, aren't you? Those're the only kinds of people that come in here, aside from the ones that wanna pay to be turned or wanna commit suicide and…what the Hell are you staring at?"

Xander turned to Wednesday, who was…smiling the most evil smile he had ever seen.

"What's your problem, bitch," Harmony snarled.

"…Hello, Amanda," Wednesday purred.

Harmony, if at all possible, became even paler than before. She stared at Wednesday, fear alight in her eyes, and gulped.

"…Wednesday," Harmony asked, hoping to any being above or below that it wasn't her.

"I haven't seen you since Chippewa," Wednesday remarked, still smiling, "Did your parents ever buy you a new retainer?"

"…I gotta go," Harmony quivered out as she took flight out of the club.

"…Do I wanna know," Xander asked quietly.

"Probably not," Wednesday said, that smile still present.

ÀÀÀ

"The Addams' have investments in nearly every single part of the country, and some in Italy, Mexico, and Canada," Willow said in exasperation as she researched the Addams', "This man, Gomez, has absolutely no economic skill, he's just lucky as Hell. Do you know what they call him," no one nodded, "The Plunger! He picks investments based upon nothing but what he likes. He turned down Enron because he didn't like the logo! How much luckier do you get?"

"Maybe there's a demonic force helping him in investments," Buffy suggested.

"How did he gain that nickname," Giles inquired.

"…He's a member of the plumbers union," Willow admitted, "It just fit well with the context."

ÀÀÀ

"Oh…My…God," Xander exclaimed, laughing his butt off as Wednesday finished her tale, "That is…you're not shitting me," he questioned her.

She merely lifted an eyebrow.

"You're not shitting me," Xander stated, then started laughing uncontrollably again, "Y-you tied her to a tree," he stopped for a moment as another burst of giggles came through, "And lit the," he started up even more, "Match!"

By now, he couldn't take it anymore, and fell off his stool in a burst of laughter, all while Wednesday was calmly watching him, almost as though she were enjoying this. After leaving the vampire bar, he had taken her to the Bronze, his usual hangout spot, to introduce her to his way of hanging out.

"I'm ok," Xander said, climbing back onto the stool, "ok…I'm ok!"

"Feel better," Wednesday asked casually.

"No," Xander said, struggling to contain his giggles, "But, I think I will be."

"It would help if you'd been ok to begin with," a British voice to the side said.

Wednesday and Xander turned around, watching as a platinum blonde vampire in a black leather jacket walked up to them.

"Oh, Spike," Xander grinned, "How happy Bob Barker must be, knowing that not only our pets are being spayed and neutered."

"Shut your stupid gob, you arse," Spike replied, before turning to Wednesday, "And, who might you be, love?"

"I am not your love," Wednesday replied with a glare in her eyes, "And my name is Wednesday Addams."

"…Addams," Spike asked in shock, "Addams, as in, Gomez and Morticia?"

"The same," Wednesday responded.

"…You know, I think I need a drink," Spike stuttered out, "Goodnight, and I'll not be bugging you no more."

With that, he hightailed it out of dodge.

"…They know about you," Wednesday nodded, "…You scared Spike away…I could love you."

"Don't try and flatter me, Alex," Wednesday said with a small frown, "Flattery will get you nowhere."

"Sorry," Xander said with a grin, "It's just my way."

"I noticed your way earlier," Wednesday remarked, "You fell back into character quite quickly…explain."

Xander chuckled, enjoying her bluntness about the situation.

"Don't try to joke," Wednesday preempted him, "Just answer the question."

Xander frowned this time, but he decided to do as she asked.

"…When I came back, Buffy was dejected, so…"

"You reverted to type," she filled in, "And, for maybe ten seconds, you felt important, and then, you went back to being ignored and disrespected."

"…We had a big blowout about that earlier, just a few weeks ago, to be honest," Xander said, "For a while there, we were all so observant of each other's feelings…but, we all fell back into part."

"You seek what you can never get from them, Xander," Wednesday told him, "Their approval is something that you don't need."

"I know, but," he frowned again, leaning forward onto the table, "I just wish they'd consider me."

"You don't need their consideration, or their approval of anything," Wednesday continued, "You want it, though…you have to accept that they will never see you as more than a bumbling blockhead."

"…Maybe you're right," Xander sighed, sitting up, "But, still, it hurts. How do you deal with being ostracized in school?"

"I remind myself that I have true friends," Wednesday replied, "That there are people who love me for me. Besides, it isn't so bad…the Goths worship me."

Xander giggled a little bit at that.