The Theory of Relativity

A/N: has nothing to do with the actual theory of relativity.

Disclaimer: Own nothing.

Timesetting: summer between S4 & S5

ÀÀÀ

"Ok, stop and think here, Xander," he muttered as he lay in the bed, afraid of waking the sleeping Wednesday, "Did we do it?"

He searched his memories for a second, but, all he could remember was laying down on the bed in his basement…then, nothing. That could be good, though, as he didn't remember taking off any clothes…yet, that didn't explain why both he and Wednesday were naked.

He jerked up suddenly as he felt something grasp at Little Xander. He stared at the covers for a second, watching them for any indication of movement. When he saw none, he decided that Wednesday must have just shifted in her sleep without him noticing. As he laid back down, however, he felt it again. Quickly, he turned to Wednesday, expecting her to be awake, but he was surprised to see that she was still sleeping.

As he felt another grasp, he reached underneath the covers and searched around…finding there to be an extra hand where there should be only four.

"Sophia," he muttered, grabbing at her, only to have her scuttle away from him.

"Just what I need," he muttered, "A hand with no respect for personal boundaries."

He heard something to his right and looked over to his nightstand, where Sophia was perched.

"Don't do that again, Sophia," Xander ordered.

She snapped her fingers, letting him know that she got the message. She snapped a few more times.

"Yeah, I could use some breakfast," he replied, "I hate to ask, but, seeing as how Wednesday is occupying my time…and bed, here…would you?"

Sophia jumped up and saluted him in the air.

"Thanks, Sophia," he said with a smile, "But, don't ever do that again…unless you ask first, got it?"

Sophia seemed to get red for a second before jumping off the nightstand and scuttling up the stairs.

"You shouldn't have said that," he looked down to see Wednesday, finally awake, staring up at him, "Now she'll think she has a chance."

"While a hand would be good for some things," he replied, "There's much more needed for a good relationship."

"Just make sure she knows you're mine, Alex," Wednesday instructed.

"Oh, I'm yours, am I," he smiled cheekily at her.

"Please," she responded, "You and I have been flirting nonstop, and we both know we like each other. We're in a relationship, Alexander," the whole name, he thought grimly, "Accept it."

"…Why are we both in my bed, naked," Xander finally asked.

"You passed out as soon as we came downstairs," she said, "I took your clothes off, and I sleep in the nude, so…is that a problem for you?"

"Not really," he said, "I trust you…just had to wonder if we did anything, you know. Plus, how did you know I sleep naked, anyway?"

She blushed.

"I had Thing find out while you were at the mansion," Wednesday replied nervously.

"…Even Wednesday Friday Addams is at the beckon call of her hormones," he said with a smile, "There's hope for the world, yet."

"Quiet, you," Wednesday replied, embarrassed, "Or I'll sick Pubert on you."

Xander visibly cringed at that one. That baby despised him for some reason.

A snapping sound alerted him to the stairs, where Sophia was signaling that breakfast was almost ready.

"Thanks, Sophia, you're a doll," he grinned at her before turning to Wednesday, "We should get dressed."

"Yes, we should," she stood up quickly, gathering the blankets to cover herself, "…I had fun last night, Alex."

"So did I, Wednesday," he said as he watched her walk into the bathroom, "So did I."

ÀÀÀ

Xander and Wednesday left his basement about and hour after breakfast, carting a good amount of his belongings with him. They had decided over breakfast that he would be sleeping in one of the second floor bedrooms, while Wednesday would take the master bedroom on the third floor. She was planning on turning one of the three bedrooms on the second floor into an office so that she could study and do her hobbies (writing, beheading dolls, etc.) in peace.

Xander had gotten a job on a construction site within walking distance of the mansion, so, he would be spending most of his day there. He had begun cleaning out the kitchen and adding in items that he thought would be necessary (he swore that he would introduce Wednesday to Twinkies, one way or another).

Sophia had been tasked with searching downstairs in the basement for anything that might be noteworthy. She'd come back with nothing to report, except that there might be a leak in waterline. After further inspection, Xander had decided that it would be best to call someone in.

For about a week after that, nothing too excitable happened. Wednesday adjusted the house and worked on a book she was writing (she refused to let Xander see what it was about), and Xander worked on the site and came home to a good shower and a great meal, courtesy of Sophia. He and Wednesday had been out a few times, with fun had by all…but, like all good things, this was to come to an end.

ÀÀÀ

Xander walked home late that Friday evening, bone tired and dusty as Hell. He wanted to get a shower and some sleep.

"Honey, I'm home," he shouted out.

"Must you do that every time you enter the house," Wednesday remarked as she came down the stairs to greet him.

"Of course I must, if only because it annoys you," he grinned cheekily at her.

She glared at him mildly, before turning away and walking into the kitchen, where Sophia had started cooking dinner.

"Thanks, Sophia," he said as he passed by her, with her delicately measuring the amount of sugar to add to the concoction.

"What're we having tonight," he wondered, checking the board which she usually wrote the menu on, "…Crème de la Addams…careful, Sophia, or you might start to like normal food."

She added in the sugar, scuttled over towards him, and flipped him the bird.

"Is that a request, Sophia," he grinned at the hand, which seemed to grow red for a moment before turning around and scuttling back to her dish.

He had, strongly against Wednesday's wishes, continued to flirt with the hand. In truth, he knew Sophia was only mildly attracted to him and had no strong feelings for him, otherwise he wouldn't flirt. He mainly did it as yet another way to annoy Wednesday. He'd made it his mission to make her deadpan nature crack, if only once, so that he could say he did.

Yes, it took a brave, foolhardy man to defy the will of Wednesday Addams…perhaps that was why she cared so much about him.

The woman in question, however, was privy to his desires, and had no intention on cracking at anytime soon…though, if she ever found Sophia in his bed again, she would certainly have a thing or two to say.

"Alex," she called up to him from the third floor, "Could you come up here, please?"

"Right," he called, swiftly running up the stairs in order to get there faster…yeah, he was whipped, so what?

As he arrived at her office, he took a moment to catch his breath before asking her what was up.

"My book," she responded, handing him a stack of papers, "I want you to read it."

"You're done," he asked, surprised.

"Only if you and my editor say so," she said, that odd nervousness returning again.

"Ugh, I hate to sound like this, but," he leaned forward slightly, "I barely passed English…why would you want my approval before publishing it?"

"You'll see, once you read it," she remarked quietly, turning away from him as she reentered her office, "I want you to know something, Xander…I care for you…deeply."

With that somehow foreboding declaration in mind, she closed the doors to her office, hoping that he would take it well.