The Theory of Relativity

A/N: has nothing to do with the actual theory of relativity.

Disclaimer: Own nothing.

Timesetting: summer between S4 & S5

ÀÀÀ

Pugsley sat back against the headstone, watching in anticipation at the tomb that he was about to blow up. There were several vampires in there, feasting on a corpse, all vulnerable…in danger…God, he loved this.

"Ahem," he looked up, finding himself face-to-face with a beautiful woman, "What is it that you're doing?"

"I'm about to blow up a nest of vampires," he stated, holding up the detonator, "Want in?"

She stared at him for a moment before smiling.

"Sure," she said, squatting down next to him, "I love killing things almost as much as I love sex."

Pugsley laughed at that. The two watched the tomb for a long moment, waiting till the last possible second, when Pugsley blew the tomb up.

"Woo-hoo!"

"Wow," she said in ecstasy, "Look at 'em burn!"

"Fun," he said, "Hey, what's your name again?"

"My name is Anya," she said, looking him up and down, "You look like a big, husky man. What's your name?"

"Pugsley Addams."

"…Addams," she looked positively petrified at that, "…Are you related to Wednesday?"

"Yeah, she's my sister," Pugsley said with a grin, "You know her?"

Anya smiled weakly, "You could say that."

ÀÀÀ

Giles sat up slowly, moaning in irritation as the hangover began to take over. After a half an hour at the winery, he and Gomez had decided to find a pub. Needless to say, there were only so many pubs in Sunnydale, so, before long they had ended up back at Willy's. After a few beers and a Guinness or two, the two had somehow wound up in a brawl with two vampires…and, for the life of him, he couldn't remember anything after that.

He looked up at the dirty wall before him, focusing on it for a moment to try and help alleviate his headache, before a familiar voice gained his attention.

"…And, then, you jab and twist forcefully, tearing through muscles and making the wound more severe."

"Gomez," Giles asked, blinking through his migraine.

"Rupert, old man," Gomez said, walking over to him, "How's your head?"

"Throbbing," Giles said, "…Gomez, why are you instructing these men in methods of killing people, and…why are we in a prison?"

Gomez smiled down at him, then said, "Why, I can't in good conscience let these men go about killing people without knowing the proper methods. And, we are in prison because you and I brawled with several police officers."

"…Smashing," Giles muttered with a grin, "Call one of the guards for me, will you, Gomez?"

"Certainly," Gomez stood up, "Hello, can someone speak to me for a second?"

A few moments later, a cop came up to the cell.

"What," he demanded.

"Good morning, Officer," Giles sprang forward and grabbed him by his shirt, "I happen to know that our dear former mayor was a demon, and that you purposefully ignore calls during the night because your superiors told you about what goes on in the night. If you don't get me out of this cell right now, I swear to God I will spend the rest of my life making this police force suffer."

The man stared at him in shock, before nodding.

"You'll be outta here by this afternoon."

"Smashing."

ÀÀÀ

Buffy sighed, handing yet another dish to Willow.

"How much longer is she going to make us do this," Buffy whined as she continued scrubbing her dish.

"No idea," Willow responded, handing her dish off to Riley to continue washing.

"I think she adds another ten minutes each time you ask that question," Graham said, "So, maybe you could, I dunno…shut up!"

Riley chose to keep his mouth shut.

"He's right, you know," Tara said, walking down to join them, "Riley, Graham, you may go, seeing as you were outnumbered in this."

They took off like a gunshot.

"Outnumbered," Buffy asked, "How?"

Tara pointed at their boobs, "Four to two."

ÀÀÀ

Xander woke up, feeling a warm, tingly feeling all over his body. He felt something shift to his side, and he turned his head to see Wednesday, lying beside him. He stared at her for a moment, before lifting up the sheets, checking underneath.

"We did it," he looked back at Wednesday, who was awake, staring at him intently.

"…Had to be sure," he let the covers fall down again, and wrapped an arm around her, bringing her close to him, "That was awesome."

"I aim to please," she snarked, but she was still happy to hear it.

She looked over to her left as she felt something land on the bed.

"Hello, Sophia," she greeted her friend.

Sophia snapped in greeting, then jumped down and tossed up a newspaper.

"Thanks," Wednesday responded, "And, that's absolutely none of your business."

Sophia snapped again.

"I heard that, Sophia," Xander said as Wednesday opened the paper, "And, the answer is four."

"Ass," Wednesday said, though she was blushing slightly.

"And damn proud of it," Xander said as Sophia went off.

"We're going out tonight."

"Where to," Xander asked, getting comfortable as he did so.

"You ever been to The Rocky Horror Picture Show?"