Please note: this fic references George Wickham and implicitly discusses abusive relationships.
svenskiovich asked for Gigi and Lydia.
After George, after everything, Gigi feels like a shadow. Vague, distorted around the edges. Not quite real. Everyone in her life seems substantial by comparison. They are so completely themselves, you know?
It takes her a long time to come to any semblance of self-realization. To define herself outside of George, outside of being A Darcy, outside of years of expectations and uncertainties. It's a process, but she finds her answers. She finds resilience, happiness, and sometimes it makes her sickeningly glad he happened; she wanted those false layers gone. But she wanted to peel them back gently, with time and care. He ripped them from her, left her exposed, angry red raw. It's a hell of a way to go about things.
When Gigi watches Lizzie's videos, she can't help but like this woman and her charming, odd family. Lizzie is charismatic, combative, and stupidly perfect for William. Jane makes being both gentle and strong seem effortlessly consistent. And Lydia—words are insufficient to describe her. She is no shadow. Lydia bursts on-screen; she overflows with vitality. She shouts herself into the world: this is me, know me, love me.
Later, too much later, she finds Lydia's YouTube channel. Here Lydia simmers instead of boiling over, and without bubbles breaking the surface her vulnerabilities become painfully clear. It breaks Gigi's heart to watch him break her. To watch this untamed, fearless, energetic woman become a shadow of her former self. She thinks about reaching out a thousand times, and reconsiders a thousand times more. How do you presume to tell someone you understand what they're feeling? How do you proclaim your solidarity to someone who never asked for it?
Lydia visits San Francisco often enough. She and Gigi dance around each other and the non-subject of George with predictable awkwardness. They spend time together in the safety of groups, where conversations can be redirected and elephants in the room are more easily ignored. It gets easier, though. They share a love of musicals and a fondness for convincing William to fetch them bright pink drinks when they go out. They both agree that honey walnut shrimp is actually really gross.
It's a start.