I was still down from Lady and not being able to get a puppy of my own. I was walking home from school one day. I had missed the bus home because of tutoring. And Lemon Tart was supposed to pick me up but I guess she forgot. I had called her over and over again on my cell phone but she wouldn't answer. Convenient right? I wasn't sure how to get to the house. I'm not good with directions. I walked around and couldn't find the street, then I flew around which made it worse. I was so lost. School had gotten out at 4:15 and it was 6:45 now. I had no idea where I was or how to get home. Lemon wasn't answering my calls and my dad wouldn't be off work till 8 tonight. I sat down on the side walk and cried. Luckily a squirrel that lived in our tree in the backyard saw me and led me home. I thanked him, kissed his little furry face and ran inside at 7' O clock at night! Lemon Tart was sitting at the table coloring with Bennie and Crash, like me being missing for 3 hours wasn't a big deal! It hurt so badly. What if I had been ponynapped, hit by a wagon, killed, or even raped! She didn't care, not one bit.
"Hey Flutteryshy!" Bennie yelled. Lemon turned around and scowled at me.
"What are you doing home so late?"
"You were supposed to pick me up. But you didn't answer my calls."
"I haven't missed any calls." She grounded me. I wasn't allowed to leave, talk on the phone or use the computer (except for homework) for the next two weeks. My eyes started to water, I walked upstairs and forced myself not to cry. I did my homework and laid in bed. My dad came home and walked into my room.
"So you're going to skip dinner?" I shook my head and went downstairs for dinner.
Lemon asked how Bennie's day was. He said all the things he learned and did in school. Then she asked how Crash's day was and he told her how his day was. I looked forward to her asking me how my day was. Other than her blatantly ignoring me and me not coming home for a few hours I had a good day at school. I had tutoring with my teacher and brought a 70 up to a 95. I was quite proud. When it came to my turn though Lemon asked if dad wanted to know how my day was. My dad smiled at me and said yeah.
"Well Fluttershy came home at 7. I had no idea where she was and I didn't get a call or anything. She was probably out doing bad things with her foal-friend Hayseed. So I grounded her for 2 weeks." My dad looked so angry with me. My eyes watered again. I put my empty plate in the dishwasher and went to my room.
"You weren't excused!" Lemon shouted at me. I ignored her, I didn't care. I locked the door and cried into my pillow. Seriously? What if I had been hurt? I hadn't done anything wrong while living here. I never snuck out, talked back or anything, yet I was always being degraded for the world to see and I was always grounded.
I herd the door knob jiggle.
"Fluttershy will you let me in?" It was my dad.
"No." I sobbed.
"We need to talk." I reluctantly got up and let my dad in.
"I looked at Lemon's phone you did try to call her a bunch of times. 34 to be exact. And she had 44 text messages from you. Lemon said she didn't see any of them." I smiled meekly at my dad.
"But you're still grounded. But only for a week."
"Why? I didn't do anything wrong."
"You didn't call me." I was a little stunned.
"Why would I? You were at work."
"You still should have called me." My dad wanted me to hug him but I didn't. There was no reason for me to be grounded. I had called Lemon like I was supposed to I stayed after school for tutoring like I was supposed to. Yet I was still grounded? His arms were out wide, I flipped over and laid down with my back toward him. My dad left my room and closed my door. I crawled out of my window, sat on the roof and stared at the moon. The squirrel from earlier hopped on the roof and scurried to me. He asked me why I was on the roof and why I was upset again. I told him sometimes I had bad thoughts. Sometimes I thought of committing suicide. I know it wouldn't solve anything but I wouldn't feel anything. No sadness, no pain, I would cease to exist which made me happy thinking about.
"I know it's bad to think. And I don't want to die, so I stare at the moon. I don't know why but the stars shimmering and the moon so bright and big makes me feel good. It brings me comfort." He smiled at me, as long as I didn't do anything he was always here to talk to me. I asked if he could be my pet. He declined. Nothing against me, it's just squirrels are meant to be outside and wild. I understood though. Why would he want to be caged and trapped when he could be free?

I went back into my room and cried myself to sleep.

The next morning, it was a Saturday, my dad was working out of the house, Lemon was already gone for work, and my brothers were still sleeping.
"Morning Fluttershy!" My dad yelled happily as I trotted down the stairs. I didn't say anything, I didn't want to talk to him.
"Not talking to me?" I didn't answer, instead I proceeded to make myself a cup of coffee.
"I made you a cup honey." I sat next to my dad, I didn't make eye contact or talk.
"Why are you upset with me?" I was dumbfounded.
"Seriously dad? I was lost yesterday. Lemon did NOT care that I was missing. What if something bad happened? Lemon was SUPPOSED to pick me up, yet I get grounded."
"Am I supposed to ground Lemon?" I know my dad was just trying to make me laugh but I was not in a good mood.
"No dad. You're supposed to stick up for me. I didn't do anything wrong!"
"You didn't call me."
"Why would I?" I screamed. "You were 2 hours away! Either way you would have to take off work early, get penalized at work, try to find me, and I STILL would have been home by 7-8!" My eyes started watering. I wasn't sad just angry. I don't know what I was more upset about my eyes watering making me look stupid or my dad just fucking with me.
"You never stick up for me. You always side with her even if she's dead wrong!" I slammed my coffee cup on the table and left the kitchen. My relationship with my dad was getting worse and worse, it was all Lemon's fault. I sat in my room crying again. I was so sick of crying. After an hour my dad knocked on the door.
"Flutttershy you're not grounded anymore. If you want you can go to Hayseed's house for the day. You just have to be back home at 11pm." I instantly called Hayseed and told him to get his dad to come pick me up.

I had so much fun at Hayseed's house. We sat in the living room watching Disney movies.
"Hey sexy!" It was Wheatseed. Hayseed's younger brother. He wasn't that much younger Hayseed was 17 while Wheatseed was 16. I loved Hayseed's family so much! His dad called me princess and was there for me. No matter what. His mom always listened when I needed to vent or needed advice. She would even style my mane for fun. His brother would hang out with me even when Hayseed couldn't. Hayseed and his family loved me. It was wonderful being with a family who loved you and made you feel wanted. His parents took all of us out to dinner and a new restaurant. The food tasted bad but I wasn't going to be rude and not eat. When we got back to Hayseed's house I felt so sick.
My stomach hurt, my body started to ache and I was pouring sweat. Hayseed's mom felt my forehead.
"My gosh darlin' yer' burnin' hot!" She gave me a thermometer. I was 105 degrees!
"You must of got food posionin' from that damned restaurant." Hayseed's dad carried me to his wagon and took me home.
I laid down in bed throwing up all night. I had a small glass of water that I didn't touch on my nightstand. The squirrel stayed in my room that night, he kept dipping a washcloth in the water and putting it on my forehead. I wanted to die. I got to the point where I couldn't throw up anymore but I was still dry heaving. My stomach was sore from all the drastic jerking. I
eventually fell asleep on the floor.
Sunday morning came and I was exhausted. I slowly walked down the stairs. Lemon and my dad were sitting at the kitchen table. I grabbed a little celery, maybe I could stomach that. I slowly started eating when Lemon asked.
"What drugs did you do last night?"
"What?" I was dumbfounded.
"You herd me. What drugs did you do last night? Nothing would make you this sick other than drugs."
"I didn't do any drugs. We went out to eat…at a restaurant and…the food was terri…" I ran out the kitchen and into the bathroom. I began throwing up the 2 bites of celery I had. I threw up for 5 mins straight. How could I throw up SO much, but have nothing in your stomach?

I went upstairs and laid on the floor. Dad and Lemon came in my room.
"You didn't answer my question Fluttershy." Lemon said scowling at me. "What drugs did you do at Hayseed's house?"
"For …Celestia's sakes! I…didn't do any.." I paused to once again throw up in the trashcan in my room. "Drugs!" My mane dripped with sweat and y body shook. I hated everything right now.
"I did drugs all throughout my teenage years Fluttershy, so I know you did drugs last night." My dad said looking rather mad.
"Seriously? If..you did drugs…you WOULD know…." I put my hoof over my mouth, I was going to finish this sentence without vomiting. "That drugs don't…..give you fevers…dad!"

Obviously I was lying about doing drugs because I was grounded for 3 weeks. Lemon threatened me that they were going to do a weekly drug test on me. I told her to go ahead I didn't care, and she could watch me piss in the cup for all I cared!

After 3 weeks of not being able to leave the house, not talk on the phone, be on the computer or watch tv, I wasn't grounded anymore. I immediately went to Hayseed's house. We were walking down the street when we saw an elderly mare with a sign saying puppies for sale. I instantly flew over to her.
"What all puppies do you have for sale?"
"Yorkies, poodles, terriers and Chihuahuas." My heart pounded with excitement! I looked at all the Chihuahuas but none of them felt like my own.
"Thanks anyway mam'." I said rather downhearted.
"Well I have this one, but he's the runt." She pulled out a teeny tiny little puppy that was white as snow, with a tiny little pink nose. He had the biggest chocolate brown eyes. I held him.
"Do you want to be my baby?" I asked him. He wagged his tail so hard his tiny little bottom shook, he liked all over my face. Our eyes met and I instantly knew this was my baby.
"You're my angel." He beamed at me. We both knew his name would be Angel right then. I called my dad to once again ask if I could get a puppy. Why would I think he would give me a different answer? It made me sick to hear that Bennie was allergic! NO THE FUCK HE WASN'T! I started to give Angel back to the mare, when something in me snapped. I held him as tight as I could, gave her my money and left. I had my puppy.

Hayseed's parents said it would be ok if I could keep Angel at their house. I deserved a puppy. I deserved to have this one thing to myself and feel happy.

Angel was perfect! He was always happy to see me and was so full of love..for me at least. I would take him with me around town. He had a little hat he would hear so he couldn't get sunburned. And I always put, puppy safe, sunscreen on his cute little nose; so it wouldn't get burned either. He was my little baby.

Of course when things are going great for me the shit hits the fan.