But you rip it from my hands
and you swear it's all gone
and you rip out all I have
Just to say that you've won
well now you've won
-I Gave You All, Mumford and Sons
If all was fair in love and war, it was unclear which could best describe the relationship between Adelaide Deveo and Sirius Black. Remus had learned shortly after that the first of many fights had started with a halfhearted comment from Sirius about Adelaide's friend Olin being "a pouf". The next three fights started in a similar way. It was clear that the detentions the two were sharing weren't bringing them any closer. Remus actually found himself looking at Adelaide with less sympathy than ever before; he was expected to take Sirius' side after all. James did his best to stay out of it, although there had been several whispered conversations about Padfoot "laying off of her". The month of October brought constant bickering and dirty looks between the two Gryffindors, who had previously existed completely unaware of the other. Their war was a distraction from the real one. Remus knew that Sirius directed all of his anger towards the indifferent girl because he loved to see her break, somehow it prevented him from breaking himself. Adelaide seemed to lash out at Sirius simply to make him feel a bit of pain, being that he was the only pureblood close enough and willing enough to allow her the opportunity. In some ways every day in October was the same, petty comments and jinxes whenever they had the chance, but there were four days that Remus knew were more important than the others. Four days and four battles that would define what exactly their war was about.
The first was October 12. It was on this day that Remus realized just how ruthless the two could be. In this battle no pointed words or wands were aimed at each other, but at a common enemy. It turned into a sort of bullying contest. The victim was none other than Severus Snape and the prize turned out to be another weeks' worth of detentions courtesy of the conscience and "big bloody mouth" of Lily Evans.
That afternoon the Gryffindors had double Herbology with the Slytherins. The combination of greenhouse humidity, dirt, and vicious plants was a remarkable catalyst of the already established hostility between the two houses. Severus Snape wasn't always the victim. Remus had witnessed his blood prejudice and malicious behavior on many occasions; however the events of October 12 were admittedly unfair to him. Somehow he ended up seated with his carnivorous plant directly across from the barrier between the marauders spot, and the spot occupied by the Gryffindor girls. Lily hadn't so much as looked Snape in the eye for over a year but Adelaide was very vocal about her hatred of Slytherins, especially ones that associated with the group of people Snape was known to associate with.
"Snape if you look over here one more time I will smother you with your own greasy hair understand?"
Everyone looked up in shock. Remus had known Snape was staring at Lily (like he so frequently did)
because he could tell James was keeping a sharp eye on him. Snape just glared at the girl and mumbled something about "getting what's coming to her". Lily was blushing scarlet, surely praying that the incident would stop there.
"That's really fucking stupid Deveo," Sirius said with a laugh "smother him in his greasy hair?! Have you seen how greasy it is? There is a permanent gray slime trail on his daily path from the dungeons to the Great Hall; surely he would drown before he would be smothered."
"Regardless of the specifics of his asphyxiation my threat still stands. Neither Lily nor I want to look up and see his cold lifeless eyes staring back at us."
"What's wrong Snivelly get distracted whenever there's a pretty girl around? See mate you have to understand that when you're as ugly as you are you can't look them directly in the face."
"Black don't start." Lily said "Addie please leave it, I'm fine."
"No please continue, I do enjoy hearing the king and queen of excessive pride try to use multisyllabic words in proper sentences." Snape snapped.
"You are hands down the creepiest bloke in this school you know that?" Adelaide said "every time I look at you I half expect a spider to be hanging out of your giant nose."
"Being creepy is in a Slytherins nature love," Sirius chimed in "Snivellus is just disgusting."
"Black enough." Lily warned.
"And don't call me love. It's almost as revolting as Snape's breath."
"Deveo you sure have a lot to say, if I were you I wouldn't waste so much breathe. Seems to me that odds are you have a very limited amount left_" Snape sneered
Adelaide shut up right away. She turned red with anger and seemed to be trying to keep herself calm.
"Prongs, do you think that Professor Sprout would consider it cheating if I just used Snape's natural body odor to knock this thing unconscious? It sure would make it easier to grab the pods."
"Black if you were to unleash that stench it would probably knock as all out cold."
"You might be right Deveo, and while I wouldn't mind it if you had to lay here lifeless in a cloud of stink I have a rather important date tonight."
"Good for you Black, tell me is this girl a mental defective or did you just trick her into believing that you aren't complete scum?"
"Well what I do is I try to position myself so that the girl can see Snivelly in the background when I'm asking them out. The comparison is so shocking that they immediately say yes, I mean I'm naturally good looking but next to him I look like a demi God."
"Oh I'm sure, but then again who wouldn't look like a Demi God compared to the greasy git wonder, this is of course why I am so confused by Snape's constant staring. You do realize that Lily is repulsed by you don't you?"
"ADDIE!"
Suddenly Snape pulled his wand and Sirius had his pulled before Adelaide even noticed.
"Put it down Snivelly, wouldn't want to hurt yourself."
"Black stop instigating!" Lily yelled
"There's no use cursing you Deveo, you've got enough of that to last you a lifetime ...however short that may be."
Adelaide and Sirius started firing off jinxes at the same time…eventually James and Peter joined in. Remus simply fired off a few shield charms, and Lily ran off to get professor Sprout who rewarded everyone involved with a weeks' worth of detentions. There was a strange closeness established that day between Adelaide and Sirius. As they left the greenhouse they each quietly thanked the other for having their back and then fired off a quick insult before going their separate ways. They shared a common character flaw in that all of the kindness they showed their friends and family and perfect strangers was compromised when faced with their enemy. They were both cruel. Sirius always went too far with his jokes and Adelaide was capable of saying the most hurtful things. Something between them felt very natural though. When James brought it up to Remus later that night he called it chemistry.
The next of these important battles occurred on October 25, the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. Unlike their usual arguments this one was very quiet and secluded. Neither was putting on a show (since they both seemed to love entertaining the school so much) and yet both argued with so much drive and passion that the few of them who had witnessed it felt as if what they were watching was in some way historic. What Remus learned that day, and what he would later learn that Lily had picked up on as well, is how irrevocably similar Adelaide Deveo and Sirius Black were.
It started on the streets of Hogsmeade, close to the shrieking shack. The marauders had run into the Gryffindor girls (Lily Evans, Mary McDonald, Sarah Benson, and Abigail Spinet). James had wasted no time in smothering Lily with his usual declarations of love and the rest of them just chatted casually.
"Potter I just want to have a nice day in the village with my mates alright?" Lily finally snapped.
"And here comes the row" Sirius said to Remus with a smirk "I look forward to this every Hogsmeade trip."
"I haven't done anything to ruin your nice day!"
"Fine just walk away now before you do!"
"Oh goody I've arrived before the row!" Adelaide said cheerfully as she walked up to the group with her friend Olin. She turned to him "I told you mate, this is always my favorite part of Hogsmeade trips."
"It's not a fucking show Deveo, it's their private business." Sirius said irritably.
"Black's here, fantastic. I guess I'll be on my way then. Lily try not to strain the vocal chords too much alright? Your voice gets all raspy and you sound like the bloody barren_"
"With a head cold, yeah I used that joke last week." Sirius interrupted.
Lily and James were now staring at Adelaide and Sirius. The other Gryffindor girls had started to back away slowly and both Peter and Olin were already turning their backs as if oblivious to the awkwardness.
"Let's not start a giant row alright?" Remus said, but Adelaide raised her hand to silence him.
"Why is it that you act the way you do towards me Black? What is it about me that you hate so much?"
"Oh, everything."
"Yeah?"
"Every single solitary thing."
"You are absolutely pathetic."
"Yeah well at least I don't whip out my wand and start throwing fireballs at people as if I'm some kind of pyro_"
"Pyromaniac psychopath, yeah you used that joke last week as well. Perhaps you should work on some new material dear."
"Don't call me dear, love"
"Don't call me love, you pureblood fuck."
"Dev, Sirius come on please don't start." James begged to no avail.
"You are just so painfully unpleasant, it's like every time you walk into the room the happiness is sucked right out of it." Sirius said
"I'm a dementor huh? I'm that bad?"
"Yes, you are that fucking bad."
"I'm so sorry that I hurt wittle Siwius' feelings" Adelaide cooed "Maybe things would be easier if you just pulled your head out of your ass…..it's not a hat you see."
"I don't even know why I waste my time talking to you."
"Fingers crossed that you don't make that mistake again."
"You walk around this castle like you're the life of the fucking party, making jokes, trying to pull off really poorly executed pranks. It's pathetic it's like your actually trying to be me."
"I'm sorry I'm trying to be you?"
"Deveo you steal my jokes, you've started talking to my mates, you're always fucking around_"
"You are the most arrogant fucking idiot I have ever met. I would be able to tell that you're a pure blood even if I didn't know you. You have this disgusting sense of entitlement, like the whole fucking world revolves around you. Well guess what it doesn't! If you disappeared tomorrow nothing would change Black. Why would I want to be you?"
"Because you try so hard to act like you don't care about anything and I actually don't. And you are jealous_"
"I'm jealous because you don't care about anything?"
"Yeah!"
"You are a terrible person. Do you hear yourself?"
"When things get shitty you shut down and start pretending like your someone else, I can still be me no matter how hard things get_"
Adelaide moved so quickly that she startled everyone "You have no idea what I have been through okay? You don't know what this feels like and you had better pray that you never do."
"You don't know me Deveo, you assume you do just because of who my family is but you don't understand and you don't even try you just automatically hate my guts because of my last name."
"I hate your guts because you do whatever you want and expect no consequences, THAT is a pureblood value and it makes me sick."
"Me?! I do whatever I want? What the fuck about you? You don't obey rules, you say whatever you want and then you play the pity card when someone tries to fight back and THAT makes you a horrible person."
"A HORRIBLE PERSON?! I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON?! DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THE THINGS YOUR FUCKING FAMILY AND THEIR FRIENDS HAVE DONE_"
"DID I DO ANY OF THAT? DID I PERSONALLY DO ANY OF THAT? NO! SO WHY THE FUCK DO YOU TAKE IT OUT ON ME?!"
"HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING TO UPSET YOU? NO! BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP YOU FROM ATTACKING ME JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE HOW I ACT. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU LIKE IT! I'M NOT TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU AND I'M CERTAINLY NOT TRYING TO BE YOU!"
"DEVEO IF YOU PULL YOUR WAND ON ME AGAIN I WILL SNAP IT IN HALF."
"IF YOU COME NEAR MY WAND I WILL SNAP YOU IN HALF."
"ENOUGH!" Lily yelled as James moved to stand between them "I'm getting really tired of breaking up fights between you two."
"Oh Please!"
"We don't even fight that much, especially compared to you two."
Everyone stared at them.
"Um Sirius" Peter began "It's actually starting to be worse than Lily and James."
"Really?" Adelaide seemed to ask everyone. The group nodded and mumbled their agreement.
"Fine." Sirius said.
"Fine." Adelaide repeated.
And they nodded at each other before storming off into opposite directions.
That was the last argument the two had for a while. Later in the day James had joked with Sirius that fighting with Addie was so stressful for him because he was essentially arguing with himself in a girl's body. Sirius gave him a funny look and then ignored him the rest of the night (he ignored Peter and Remus as well since they had laughed so hard).
The third battle occurred on the night of October 27th. No one was there to witness it, and the only report Remus had had come from Sirius. This was the first night that Remus really started to believe that there was much more to Sirius and Addie's relationship then either of them would like to admit.
Peter and James were sleeping soundly when Remus woke suddenly from one of his more reoccurring nightmares. Sirius's bed was empty. He thought briefly about checking the map, but just as he was about to pull himself out of bed the dormitory door opened, and an irate Sirius stormed in.
"Sirius what the hell is going on?" Remus mumbled sleepily.
"Shit Moony I didn't mean to wake you up." Sirius said as he plopped onto his own bed.
"S'alright mate I was already awake." He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up "Where were you?"
Sirius looked like he struggled with himself over whether to tell him, in the end his more loquacious side seemed to win out "I went down to the kitchens, because I couldn't sleep you know? Well I got down there and Ad_Deveo was there. Just sitting there by herself. So I went over and we actually had a civilized conversation with each other."
"Well that's good. How did the row start then?"
Sirius sighed "She was eating these biscuits, I don't even remember what they're called, but she said her mum used to make them and that she had come down there because she had a nightmare."
"And?"
"And I felt so bad for her. Like she was sitting there telling me about these stupid biscuits and I almost wanted to cry because her Mum is gone, and her dad, and her whole family and not the kind of gone my family is, GONE gone. Dead."
"She still has Jack Padfoot, she still has a family."
"I know, I know but that's just how I was feeling. So she's telling me about her nightmare where she's running and screaming and no one comes to help her and she said in the dream she knows that she is completely alone and she knows she's going to die."
"She told you all of this?"
"She was in a right state mate, looked like she had been bawling her eyes out before I got there."
"SO you didn't row then?"
"No we did."
"You yelled at her when she was crying?!"
"I didn't mean it! She was drinking milk or tea or something and she picked up her glass like she was doing a toast and she said 'here's to dying young' and I thought- she says stuff like that all the time. 'mine as well live it up while I'm still here', 'at least when it's my time I'll have had some good laughs', 'Black by the time you're an old man, well I won't be around, but I'm sure you will have made plenty of women totally miserable'" he imitated her voice and sighed "So she said it and I just kind of started in on her."
"What do you mean?"
"I told her that if she just accepts death as inevitable then she's weak and that it was stupid for her to say shit like that. I was so mad. I mean I really yelled at her, more than I ever have before. And she didn't yell back, she just kept staring at me with these big teary eyes and I felt horrible but I was so angry. And finally she apologized and said that she had come to terms with her own death a long time ago and that set me off again. Screaming and cursing and I don't even remember what I said. It just seemed so stupid to me. Of course she isn't going to die. That curse bullocks isn't real, magic doesn't work like that! She was making herself miserable over nothing and she wasn't going to die."
"And then you left?"
"No. After I_ After I said that she got this different look on her face. I don't know. I was still mad but_ she sort of thanked me I think."
"Thanked you?"
"Yeah, and then she told me I was a fucking moron."
"Well that's more like it."
"Then I sort of_ hugged her."
"Really?"
"Well she was crying, she looked so upset and I had just screamed at her and _ so yeah I hugged her."
"So why do you look so upset?"
He was quiet for a second "Because I have never felt that way before_ that angry or scared or I don't even know what it was. I just wanted to grab her and shake the idea out of her. She's sixteen years old; she's not going to die Moony." There was desperation in his eyes that Remus had never seen before.
"I know mate."
"She can't, that just doesn't happen."
"So you were worried about her dying?"
"No, no I was angry that she would even worry about that. It's fucking stupid."
"Right."
"I still feel…upset."
"It's nice that you were there for her. Maybe you two can become friends now?"
"I don't know. I guess she was right …I didn't really realize what she had gone through."
None of them had. After that night Remus had a bit more of an understanding, but he didn't realize the severity of Adelaide's fears until that last day in October. Halloween and the last of the important battles. Although this battle was not with Sirius at all, this battle was all Addie.
There had been an incident. One of the giant goons in Slytherin had cornered Mary McDonald, a muggle born, in the dungeons near the potions corridor. He had used the cruciatious curse on her. There was only one witness. Adelaide Deveo.
Remus had stumbled onto the scene after leaving the potions classroom late (picking up his wolfsbane potion) and hearing several loud screams. Looking back he probably should have ran, he may have actually caught the idiots in the act, but by the time he arrived Mary McDonald was unconscious, another student was already rushing to find a teacher, and Adelaide Deveo was up against a wall having what Remus knew was a serious panic attack.
He wasn't sure who to help so he knelt down next to Mary to make sure she was breathing and that she wasn't bleeding or anything. When he heard the approaching footsteps of the student and Professor Slughorn he moved over to Addie.
"Adelaide, are you okay?" he said slowly trying to pull her hands away from her face.
"Mr. Lupin what happened here?!" Slughorn demanded.
"I don't know sir I just got here, Mary was unconscious." Remus said over his shoulder "Addie, its Remus…Remus Lupin. You have to breath okay just calm down."
But it wasn't working Adelaide's face was getting dark red, she was shaking, and her breathing was fast and erratic. He couldn't see her eyes but he knew she was crying.
So professor McGonagall showed up with a stretcher to take Mary to the hospital wing. Just as she was about to conjure another for the still hysterical Adelaide, her friend Persephone came racing around the corner.
"Professor I can help her," she said "this happens a lot. I'll bring her up to the hospital wing in just a minute."
McGonagall was so flustered and upset that she simply nodded and continued on down the corridor with Mary.
Persephone politely pushed Remus out of the way and grabbed onto Adelaide's hands "Addie, take a deep breath. This is the floor see," she forced her hands down to the floor, "and your feet too, you're on the floor in the corridor, you're okay." She grabbed her ankles and picked each foot up and put it down "Addie breath, see breath, you're okay. You're alive and breathing everything is okay." She grabbed her hands and placed them on her chest "That's your heart, you're okay."
"Seph?" Adelaide finally said through her tears.
"Yeah, it's me Addie. You're okay, everything is okay."
"Mulciber."
"What?"
"He was here, he was going to."
"Addie its school he wasn't going to do anything. You have to get up sweetie, Remus and I will take you to the hospital wing."
"Remus?"
"Remus Lupin remember? Sirius and James' friend."
"Sirius and James?"
"We'll see them later; right now you have to get up."
"My legs are shaking."
"I know. Remember what healer Henry said to do okay, plant your feet take a deep breath. You're okay Addie, you're alive."
"Jack?"
"Jack is fine Addie he's still in Whales."
"Mary? Mary was screaming."
"Do you remember what happened?" Remus asked.
"I can_ sort of_ yes."
"Okay, let's get you to the hospital wing."
"I'm sorry Remus, but do you think you could carry her?"
"Of course."
After McGonagall had taken Remus' statement he left Addie to be alone with Olin, Seph, and Lily. The hospital wing was closed off and the teachers were in a frenzy. An unforgivable curse had been used, and Addie had given Mulciber's name. He was already in Dumbledore's office.
Of course the moment he returned to Gryffindor tower he was bombarded by his friends.
"Moony what the hell is going on?" Sirius demanded.
He ran a hand through his hair and felt all of the calm he had exhibited in the moment start to slip away "I just carried Addie to the hospital wing."
"WHAT?"
"I was coming out of the potions room, there was screaming and by the time I got there Mary was unconscious and Addie was just_ freaking out."
"What happened to Mary?!"
"Is she alive?"
"What do you mean freaking out?"
"They think it was the cruciatious curse. Addie said it was Mulciber."
"Mulciber?" James questioned with wide eyes.
"Are they okay?" Sirius asked frantically.
"Yes, Mary was regaining consciousness when I left and Addie just had…some kind of panic attack I don't know what they did to her."
"How the fuck could this kind of thing happen in school?!" James said angrily.
"He'd better be expelled."
"He will be Sirius."
"He'd better be, I'll fucking rip him apart if he's not."
"Did he do it alone?" Peter asked.
"Of course he didn't, I'm sure Avery was involved too. Remember they went after Mary last year …..and that muggle born Hufflepuff boy. They're going to keep doing it and it's going to keep getting worse. It's probably my evil fucking cousin orchestrating it all."
"Bellatrix graduated last year Padfoot."
"Avery and Mulciber are idiots there is no way they acted completely alone."
"I've got no idea, Addie only said Mulciber's name. Maybe Mary will remember more." Remus said.
"She'll be too afraid to give anyone's name." James said "Great, we used to have to watch our backs so the Slytherins didn't use the jellylegs jinx on us now we have to worry about unforgivable curses?!"
"It's that death eater bullocks James, I told you it would start to be a problem. I'm gonna find Regulus and if that little prick had anything to do with this_"
"Sirius don't go off and start with him, we don't know who was involved. Can we please just calm down I've been dealing with hysterical women for the last hour I need a second to think."
Whatever it was that Addie was dealing with, whatever fears or secrets that she had, they were real. Remus had seen her completely loose herself. Things were different after that day. The atmosphere had changed, the battles had changed, and there was actually danger within the walls of Hogwarts. Adelaide was part of something a lot bigger than any of them had imagined, but after the month of October they had all somehow become too involved. The wars were inside and outside of Hogwarts and they were very real.