A/N: Thank you to wolfchick11 and Jade Opal for reviewing and thank you all for reading! Enjoy this next one. xx
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Chapter 11: Metamorphosis
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"Both Ways"
By: Quietdrive
Be honest with me
Did you ever think
That these things that you did
Would come back to haunt you
And fail you again
Don't ever question
My will to admit
That when we're alone
It's too hard to resist
Making believe
That we're bigger than this
For choosing a road
That is different but similar
To the same one I took before
Why don't we breathe
Why can't you see
That things aren't always
What they appear to be
And as simple as it sounds
I think I've found
The perfect way to grow old
The simpleness describes
The iron that is you
And your rusty old life
Get on the mattress
And tell-tale lies
Watch everything
That you touch turns to ice
Following the sheep
And they're at it again
Making believe
That they're free as it seems
but only finding out that
They're on a sinking ship
That doesn't care
How many it saves today
Watch out now
I see the light
At the end of the tunnel
It seems realistic
That getting there will make us fine
But watch out now
It's full of glass
Don't take the chance
You'll surely pass
At least someday
We'll know the reason why
The perfect way
The perfect way
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Murphy was actually taken aback at the ill-humour of his brother, not to mention his open disrespect for a woman. He had not seen his twin so angered in a very long time, for he was always the level-headed one out of the two. The tables seemed to have turned in this situation, because Murphy found himself surprisingly calm as he continued to stand beside Lourdes, watching Connor snatch the keys from the counter, place on his coat, and slam the door with brute force behind him. With a heavy sigh, Murphy retrieved the medicine that he had left on the counter, bringing it to Lourdes.
"You're putting me in a very difficult situation, do you know that?" Lourdes' stern voice caught Murphy's attention once more, his eyes flicking to her form. Taking the medicine from his grasp, she whispered, "Thank you."
Murphy breathed inwardly, lips pressed into a thin line. "Who gives a shit about fuckin' protocol? Think about it rationally." He drilled a finger in her direction. "We're tryin' to fuckin' help ye, and all ye can think of is throwin' our asses in jail? Do ye think we're doin' all of this shit, dodgin' bullets left and right, for our own sake? There are decent families out there that don't need fuckin' rapists, drug dealers and child molesters runnin' around in their neighbourhoods. We fuckin' protect Boston, Lourdes. That's our job."
Lourdes found herself stuttering, "I…I just can't fathom how Smecker…"
"Smecker's been on our asses all of last year, ye know that." Murphy's eyes squinted in conviction, arms outstretched to his sides. "Now look what he's doin'. He's helpin' us. If he can see the good in what we do, then I know ye can, too. It's simple Lourdes, black and white. We ain't askin' for ye to join us, or even protect us. We're askin' ye to just let us do our job and let things be the way they are here in Boston."
Lourdes placed her hand son her face and then ran her dainty fingers through her hair. Everything the brothers had said had been true, and through her research, Boston seemed to have been safer ever since the Saints had come into existence. And Smecker, a top FBI agent. With his pristine track record, he actually began to help the Saints with their operations. Feeling dizzy at both thinking too much and her injuries, Lourdes popped the pills, quickly swallowing. "My agents…"
"They can't know." blurted Murphy, completely interrupting her. "Lourdes, I know they won't be as understanding. Ye got to know my brother and Smecker, and ye know they're good people – but they didn't. For all we know, they'll just go straight to the An Garda Síochána without a second thought. We'll all be fucked."
The sincere distress plastered on Murphy's face was very convincing. She eyed the MacManus brother as he stared at her expectantly, sitting down beside her once more on the bed. With years of experience, Lourdes found herself to be a good judge of character, and as she continued to observe Murphy, her instincts told her that he was sincere. Then, to her own surprise, she finally croaked, "I won't say anything."
"Much obliged." Relief completely passed over Murphy's handsome face, his crooked smile returning. "Look, stay here as long as ye want. Connor will get over it."
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Connor couldn't help but envision what had transpired the night before: Lourdes' sultry body squirming under his; the way she had moved upon him, so expertly; how she looked, smelt, tasted, which continued to electrify his senses. Fuckin' hell, he cursed to himself, exhaling a shaky breath. He physically shook his head for good measure, trying to knock some sense into his pathetic brain. How the fuck could he have fallen for that? This woman single-handedly devised a plan that blew yer cover, so stop fantasizin' about her being in bed with ye! The scolding voice in his head was so loud that he gave out a nod, regaining his composure as he opened his apartment door.
Connor returned later that evening, finally calm and collected. Murphy had been waiting up for him, worried that he might have done something rash, stupid. Upon his entrance, Murphy abruptly stood from the couch, placing his beer on the adjacent table. Concern was printed on his face as he approached his twin.
"I talked to Da and Smecker." Connor informed his brother without a salutary greeting. Placing his rosary on the protruding nail on the wall he declared, "They know everything."
Murphy puffed his cheeks, exhaling slowly. "What'd they say?"
"Not to harm the girl or her agents." Connor replied succinctly, trapping a cigarette between his lips.
"Thought they would say that."
Murphy followed his brother towards the kitchen and proceeded to take a seat at the table as Connor grabbed a well-deserved beer. Tossing one to his brother, the twins sat across from one another in comfortable silence, celebrating another long day being over.
Murphy cleared his throat and said in a light tone, "She seems to be doin' fine. She's sleepin' now, though." Connor didn't reply and seemed to ignore what his twin ad just said. He merely continued to drink his beer and smoke his cigarette in silence. With an irritated sigh at his brother's difficult attitude, Murphy asserted, "Con, I talked to her this afternoon, alright? She said she'd keep quiet."
"And ye fuckin' believe her?" snorted Connor, shaking his snow-covered coat off and tossing it upon the couch. "Ye were the one that said not to trust these agents in the first place!"
"Ye shouldn't be so hard on her, ye know. She's on someone's hitlist now, for fuck's sake!" Murphy suddenly came to her defense, eyebrows furrowing as he tilted his head towards the room where Lourdes was resting. "She was only doing her job, she didn't do anything wrong!"
"Didn't do anything wrong? She fuckin' hit me on the head and knocked me out, for fuck's sake!" Connor exclaimed, pointing vigorously to the nasty bump protruding from his head. "Second of all, I didn't fuckin'…" Damn her, damn her!, he thought instead. Connor trailed off, earning a raised eyebrow from his brother.
"What?"
"Nothin'!" He gruffly replied, almost having a pout on his lips.
Murphy disregarded his brother's reply. "She called her agents while I was with her." He persisted as he lit a cigarette, placing his feet upon another chair. He waved his hand around. "She just told 'em that she was alright and that she was feelin' better. Nothin' else."
Connor took another cigarette from his pack as he sat down in front of his brother once more. "Look, Murph." Connor pointed to his brother with two fingers, cigarette lodged in between them. "She tricked me once. Don't think she can't do it again."
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Lourdes didn't sleep that night. Thankfully having the chance to do so and recover throughout the day, she spent the rest of the night waiting for the brothers to fall asleep. Having had to wait for hours whilst they smoked and drank in the kitchen (much to her annoyance), they finally called it a night around two in the morning, retiring in the room beside hers.
Carefully standing up – both to save her pain and to remain quiet – she took the coat that was hanging from a chair beside her bed, hastily placed it on, and waited to listen at the doorway. She ignored the protests of her legs, which shook with every step, and carefully crept towards the kitchen. Squinting in the dark, with only the full moon shining down as her only source of light, she felt for Connor's car keys on the kitchen counter. As she managed to find it and grip her hand on top of it, two hands shot out from behind her, grabbing her upper arms. Lourdes jumped with a gasp, dropping the keys onto the floor.
"And where the fuck to ye think yer goin'?" she felt Connor's breath tickle the nape of her neck as he moved closer to her. "With my car, as it seems?"
"Getting the fuck out of your apartment." She spat in return, using Connor's words against him. Lourdes pried herself from his tough grasp, feeling pain surge through her body as she turned to face him. She met his blazing gaze head on, letting her hands drop to her sides as she clenched her fists.
"When I said that," Connor retorted, releasing her and crossing his arms upon his broad chest. "I didn't mean for ye to take my car. I meant for ye to walk."
"Fine!" Lourdes barked, feeling as though she were five again. "I don't need your fucking car!"
"Finally, ye understand what I'm sayin'. Don't forget to close the door on yer way out." At this, Connor swiftly picked up his fallen keys and turned his back on her. Whistling an Irish tune, he walked nonchalantly towards the fridge, ruffling his hair and even letting out a yawn as he took out a drink.
With rage burning inside of her, Lourdes limped to his side as quickly as she could manage. Grabbing his shoulder, she violently turned him around to face her, almost making him drop his drink. "What the fuck is your problem?" she hissed.
"This," Connor replied coolly, pointing to the bump on his head as he took another sip of his drink, "is my problem."
"Fuckin' pansie. Can't even handle a small injury." Lourdes muttered under her breath, this time turning her back on the Saint.
He wouldn't be defeated by her again. With an audible growl, Connor churlishly placed his drink on the table. Grabbing the sides of her arms once more, he swirled her around to face him with brute force. "Yer fuckin' lucky that there was only one attacker and that I was there to save ye! If I wasn't, ye would be fuckin' dead and rottin' by now!" Lourdes gulped, the rage inside of her lessening with this truth. The MacManus wasn't done with her, though. Not even close. At this point, Connor's face became even sourer. He leaned his face forward, stopping mere inches away from hers. "Coincidentally, that same night, you planned to fuckin' seduce me, knock me out, badger the fuck out of me, and were probably plannin' to either kill me or send me to jail."
Lourdes had the nerve to roll her eyes, even in her position. "Don't be so fuckin' dramatic." She snapped, attempting to push him away with her hands on his chest. He continued to hold her firmly as she scoffed, "Not like you were being a fuckin' honest saint either."
Connor brushed off her unintended pun, though her statement caught his tongue momentarily. He barked, "And if I had been honest with ye from the beginning, would ye have believed me? Would ye have helped me?"
It was Lourdes' turn to snap her mouth shut.
"Can't ye get it through yer head that I thought I was doin' what was best for all of us?" Connor's voice was audibly softer, his hold on her loosening slightly. "I protected ye when ye were in danger, took care of ye when I thought ye were smashed to hell…" he began to trail off, his blue eyes boring into hers. Even through the darkness, Lourdes could make out Connor's rugged, sculpted face staring, searchingly, down at her. He said in a light tone, "I'll forgive ye for knocking me out if ye promise not to do it again."
Lourdes stiffened as he brought her closer to his muscular, stiff body. He didn't wait for her to respond. Lourdes' jumbled thoughts were interrupted as she felt Connor's hand brush away tendrils of hair from her face. He proceeded to place a finger on her jaw, tilting her head slightly to the side as he examined the bruise on her head, then the cut on her arm. Finding that she was holding her breath, she finally released it as he retrieved his hand, confused that she was suddenly so undone by his touch, his closeness. He looked down at her with dark eyes once more, making her alert. Then, ever so tenderly, he traced the side of her face with the back of his fingers, touch no longer innocent. Lourdes could see colliding emotions within him through his eyes as his gaze remained fixed to hers.
Without warning, Connor retrieved his hand as if her cheek had burnt him. The tenderness that appeared on his expression for a split second had disappeared as quickly as it had come, being replaced by a hard, stiffened jaw. Completely releasing her, he turned on his heel, leaving her alone in the dark.
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A/N: Jesus, I love Connor! haha Please review! I want to know what you all think! xx