A/N: Once again I am writing annoying little Authors Notes that no one can be bothered reading. Anyway here's the context. If you have seen this play you will roughly know that Sabastian (who stars in this scene) and his twin sister have been seperated after a shipwreack. Viola disguised herself as a boy to find a job and works with Count Orisio who she falls in love with. But Orisio loves Lady Oliva who doesn't love him. Orisio sends Cesario (Olivia in man disguise) to ask Olivia out. What happens? She falls for Cesario. If you don't know this you really shouldn't be reading this. At worst you should have at least seen "She's the Man". But of course when Sabastian turns up Olivia thinks it Cesario (Violia) and asks for his hand in marridge. Now this is the part that stumps be because Sabastian says yes. Why would he marry someone he doesn't know who obviously thinks he's someone else? Here's my explaination.
Oh and P.S. The shakespeare bookends are longer than the other ones. You may have to read them out loud or look them up.
Twelfth Night: Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't.
Olivia's Garden. Fabian trims the leaves off a shrub from the top of a ladder. Sebastian wanders in and mutters to himself. Fabian looks down to see what Sebastian is doing.
Sebastian: This is the air; that is the glorious sun;
This pearl she gave me, I do feel't and see't;
And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus,
Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio, then?
I could not find him at the Elephant:
Yet there he was; and there I found this credit,
That he did range the town to seek me out.
His counsel now might do me golden service;
For though my soul disputes well with my sense,
That this may be some error, but no madness…
Fabian: Er… Can I help you, there?
Sebastian: …Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune
So far exceed all instance, all discourse,
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes
And wrangle with my reason that persuades me
To any other trust but that I am mad
Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so,
She could not sway her house, command her followers,
Take and give back affairs and their dispatch
With such a smooth, discreet and stable bearing
As I perceive she does: there's something in't
That is deceiveable…
Fabian: Sir!
Sebastian: What? Oh sorry. I didn't know you were there.
Fabian: Well that was obvious.
Sebastian: I… I was… just trying to work something out.
Fabian: With what the voices in your head?
Sebastian gets tetchy
Sebastian: Please! Don't make any jokes like that.
Fabian: Okay, okay. I didn't mean to hit a nerve.
Sebastian calms down
Sebastian: No… no you didn't.
Awkward silence
Sebastian: Um… have you worked for your mistress long?
Fabian: Quite a few years, now yeah. Why do you ask?
Sebastian: Does she have a history of… mental illness in her family or anything?
Fabian: Well her uncle certainly has a touch of the crazies, and last she did give all the servants mugs that say "You don't have to be insane to work here…
Both: … it certainly helps."
Sebastian: A person who thinks that's funny has got to be crazy.
Fabian: Then again, I think they were picked by her head steward Malvolio. He's currently being kept in a dark room while they send for a priest.
Sebastian: Oh. So she's not crazy.
Fabian: A bit of a drama-queen but not crazy, no.
Sebastian: Damn.
Fabian: … That's a bad thing?
Sebastian: Yes… I man no… I mean… Olivia asked me to marry her.
Fabian: Really, that was quick.
Sebastian: The first time we met.
Fabian: Very quick.
Sebastian: Faster-than-a-speeding-bullet quick!
Fabian: Wait… If you marry Olivia that means you will be Lord of the Manor, right?
Sebastian: Right…
Fabian: Congratulations! Listen could you do me a favour? There was this little misunderstanding about me supposedly illegally hunting on her land and everything…
Sebastian: Look mate! I've just been asked to marry a total and complete stranger and you want me to do it just so I can sooth things over with the misses-to-be about you're pouching!
Fabian: Sorry, I'm sorry. Please go on.
Sebastian: Well if she's not crazy, that means I'm crazy and I'm really in some dark room myself and just think all this is happening.
Fabian: Do you want me to pinch you?
Sebastian: I think that only works in dreams.
Fabian: Look man. I know I'm not just a delusion you just concocted, and I know the mistress isn't crazy either. She's probably just wants top marry someone so that Count Orsino stops asking her, or something.
Sebastian: She wouldn't do that, would she?
Fabian: How would you know? You've only just met the woman apparently.
Sebastian: That's true. She just seems so, witty and clever, and kind, and beautiful…
Fabian: Well if you think that much of her, then why don't you just marry her?
Sebastian: What? I hardly know her!
Fabian: So? Plenty of people marry people they hardly know. Arrange marriages, movie stars… there was that couple in Verona from two households both alike in dignity…
Sebastian: I know that story and it's not an example of a happy marriage.
Fabian: Maybe you're right. After all what would your family think?
Sebastian goes quiet, before answering
Sebastian: I don't have any family.
Fabian: I…I'm sorry to hear that.
Sebastian: I lost my twin sister in a shipwreck. I have nothing left. No way to get home and nothing to really go home to.
Fabian: Then isn't that more of a reason to stay here?
Sebastian: What do you mean?
Fabian: Well, like you said, you have no family, no home no future, and this Lady offers you the chance of all this. You have the choice to marry a rich beautiful woman, who is deeply infatuated with you, and not only start a family, but live as a powerful and rich nobleman. Or you can just wonder around all lonely and sad for the rest of your life because you were too scared to give this a chance.
Stunned silence from Sebastian at this in depth look at his situation. Then he looks sceptically at Fabian.
Sebastian: Are you saying this because you honestly believe that I should marry Olivia or because you just want me to get you into her good books again.
Pause while Fabian thinks
Fabian: A little from column A and a little from column B.
Sebastian groans and starts to leave. Fabian stops him.
Fabian: But…but mostly from column A!
Sebastian: This is a mistake. I'll just have to explain this to Olivia somehow…
Fabian: So you are saying there isn't just one small part of you that doesn't want to marry this rich beautiful woman?
Sebastian: Well… well yes of course there is… of course. Like you said she's rich and beautiful…
Fabian: Yes…
Sebastian: And kind of… the first girl who was really into me. I mean, let's face it; I'm not exactly going to win the next iron man contest. In fact on a few occasions I got mistaken for my sister. I mean, am I really that girly looking?
Fabian: No, no. Not unless you're really a girl disguised as a bloke.
Sabastian: Why would a woman disguised herself as a man?
Fabian: I dunno. In order to get a job or something…
Sebastian: Yeah… like that would ever happen!
Both laugh at this ridiculous notion.
Sebastian: But yeah, it's nice to be wanted if you know what I mean. Especially by someone like Olivia. Let's face it she's… she's…
Fabian: Beautiful? Striking? Gorgeous? Exquisite? Picturesque? Attractive? Charming? Delightful? Magnificent?
Sebastian: I was going to say a sex bomb but those are much better.
Fabian pulls out a small book from his pocket
Fabian: Well, I always carry a thesaurus in my coat pocket.
Slight uncomfortable pause before Sebastian says
Sebastian: Thanks man. I was just standing hear thinking that there was no one I could talk to about this bizarre set of circumstances and here you are, willing to listen to a total stranger complain about their problems. You were a real help.
Fabian: Was I enough of a help for you to try and smooth over this whole poaching business?
Sebastian laughs
Sebastian: Why not.
Fabian: Wait? Just a moment? Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Olivia enters in a hurry with a priest. Fabian climbs back up the ladder, while Sebastian tries to act natural
Olivia:Blame not this haste of mine. If you mean well,
Now go with me and with this holy man
Into the chantry by: there, before him,
And underneath that consecrated roof,
Plight me the full assurance of your faith;
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul
May live at peace. He shall conceal it
Whiles you are willing it shall come to note,
What time we will our celebration keep
According to my birth. What do you say?
Sebastian looks up at Fabian who surreptitiously gives the thumbs up
Sebastian: I'll follow this good man, and go with you;
And, having sworn truth, ever will be true.
Olivia: Then lead the way, good father; and heavens so shine,
That they may fairly note this act of mine!
End of Scene