Chapter 5
Ups and downs
Sunday was a crazy shopping day. At noon they went to buy loads of food from the nearest grocery store, so they could refill the fridge and Naruto's kitchen completely. It turned out their tastes were pretty different but it was okay, they would figure it out. They weren't really strong on cooking anyway so they could just grab individual meals and snacks to their liking whenever they were hungry.
Then later they went to get clothes for Sasuke at the mall; some skinny jeans, black t-shirts, button down shirt, a few tank tops and underwear as well as a few accessories. Sasuke insisted on paying with his card, until it stopped working.
He bit his lip, "I thought I had more than that." He took out his credit card instead but Naruto rolled his eyes and pushed him lightly.
"Don't be stupid." Naruto paid cash and the cashier made no comment.
Naruto wanted to scold him for emptying his bank account like that but he didn't. He knew Sasuke didn't want him to spend money for him. But it couldn't be helped, for the time being. They grabbed some food after that in the restaurants area of the mall; sushi for Sasuke and ramen for Naruto. They ate in silence. Sasuke was sulking a little.
"Look I don't mind paying for you all right? I know you'll pay me back as soon as you can, I trust you," he said on a light tone.
"I hope this restaurant thing works out," Sasuke said simply.
Next stop was the pet shop. Sasuke kept looking at one of the kitten; it was female, three months old, completely black, with yellow eyes and undeniably adorable.
"Looks like it's this one huh?" Naruto smiled.
"I like her," Sasuke said in a low, almost shy voice. Naruto laughed.
"You're cute. Okay let's ask someone for help…"
He got a hold of one of the employees and he gladly removed the small animal from the cage to let Sasuke and Naruto hold her in turn. The kitty seemed traumatized but that was probably normal. She seemed to relax more when Sasuke was holding her though.
"It's my first time buying a cat so I'm gonna need a bunch of stuff…" Naruto talked with the guy while Sasuke held the tiny black animal. Naruto was smiling fondly at the adorable sight.
The employee advised him for the food, litter, a few toys and of course a small cage to carry the animal. So Naruto bought everything, paying with his credit card and cursing himself for spending even more money. He really would have to ask Jiraya for a raise… and if he said no then some pocket money maybe. It was okay, Jiraya loved him and couldn't resist him.
Sasuke was carrying the cage and Naruto the rest of the bags as they walked out of the store.
"How should we name her?" Sasuke asked.
"I don't know, you should name her."
"I'll think of something…"
They put the animal in the car with the rest of the stuff. Sasuke told Naruto that he should wait in the car while he went to Chouji's restaurant.
"We shouldn't leave her alone."
"You'll be fine?" Naruto asked.
They could see the restaurant from here, it was just a block away, and not worth Naruto losing his parking spot. Sasuke nodded and grabbed his resume with the introduction letter that he had previously placed in an envelope. He made a little smile, and Naruto wasn't sure if it was to encourage him or Sasuke himself. Then he clutched his jacket tightly as he walked away in the cold evening air.
Naruto climbed in his car and started it so he could turn on the heat and listen to some music on the meantime. He also really hoped it would work out. Chouji was a nice guy with a big heart and he would look out for Sasuke even if he barely knew him, Naruto knew this much.
He put the cage on his knees and looked at the little frightened animal through it.
"I wonder how Sasuke's gonna name you. He seems to really like you."
He smiled fondly as he thought of Sasuke holding the kitten. Now that would make for a really cute drawing. Damn, he was creeping himself out with this obsession. But he couldn't help it. Maybe when he started working again the next day it would be better. He would have assignments to work on at least, meetings with authors, maybe even a manga project, that'd be pretty sweet. He liked working in collaboration with mangaka. It was simple enough, he just had to listen to their descriptions and draw according to their vision. Naruto was usually pretty good at knowing what people wanted, and what would please them most.
He was still lost in his thoughts when Sasuke came back. He was a bit startled when the passenger door opened. The raven sighed contentedly when he closed the door, reveling in the warmth of the car. He softly took the cage from Naruto to look at the animal.
"I got the job."
"Well that was fast," Naruto laughed as he put the car in gear and glanced through the rear view mirror. "That's great though. What did he say?"
"He…" Sasuke chuckled, "I think what Ino said is probably true, cause he barely looked at my resume and he just smiled, kinda checked me out and said I'll try you out! How does that sound? I start Tuesday afternoon. He said he'd give me the training personally."
"Well that's still pretty great right? At least he's giving you a chance."
"Yeah… I think I want to name her Keiko."
"Keiko," Naruto smiled. Meant adored one. "I like it."
"I can't believe you bought a cat. I kinda feel bad for making you spend even more money though."
"It's cool it was my decision too," Naruto shrugged as he drove down the busy commercial street, "I don't think I told you, but my therapist actually suggested that I should get a pet. Well he wanted me to get a dog but…"
"Ugh I'm glad you didn't. Dogs are so annoying."
Naruto burst out laughing, "Promise me, please, promise me you'll never say that to Kiba."
"Oh right, you did tell me he was obsessed with dogs…"
"He is."
They exchanged a smile. Naruto then kept his eyes on the road and drove home without further conversation. But he didn't feel awkward anymore around Sasuke, even when they weren't talking. Now it felt as though they had known each other for a long time, which was strange, since it wasn't the case at all, far from it, but oh well…
When they got home they released the cat in the living room and put all the things – litter, bowls with food and water, and some toys – in one corner, near the window. Unsurprisingly the small animal was terrified and hid behind the couch for now.
"Poor baby," Naruto said and Sasuke smiled.
"We should just give it some time."
"Yeah."
After that Naruto proceeded to empty the drawer set that had been of use to Hinata in the past, in her home office. He removed all the folders and put them in a box for the time being. He promised himself to give those to Hinata's father as soon as possible. Well, at least now Sasuke could put his clothes in the drawers.
"Hey Naruto," Sasuke spoke softly when Naruto was finished.
"Yeah?"
"I found this website yesterday; you can donate like, baby stuff to poor families… And I thought maybe you'd like to do that… It's just, I saw how sad you looked every time you open that door and I just think it sucks. Maybe you'd feel better if…" he hesitated, "I'm sorry. You can like, punch me in the face right now if you want."
Naruto laughed softly, "I'm not gonna punch you in the face. That's actually a really great idea. Why don't you show me that website?"
Sasuke nodded, and they went to the master bedroom. They spent some time on the computer, and Naruto decided he would bring the baby things to this organization shortly. He thanked Sasuke for his good advise and consideration… Naruto didn't tell him this, but the truth was, he had been trying to take everything step by step. During his depression following Hinata's death it hadn't been easy to deal with everything. First he had progressively gotten rid of all her things, giving most of them to her father.
But he felt better now, thanks to Sasuke. He was nowhere near forgetting Hinata – he would never forget her, she would always be a part of him – but he was able to smile and laugh again, which was great. Hinata wouldn't want him to be unhappy.
It wasn't time to sleep yet, so Naruto asked Sasuke if he felt like playing video games.
"Sure, what games do you have?"
"You can see for yourself…" Naruto smiled enthusiastically as they made their way downstairs and to the living room.
They sat on one of the black leather couches, bringing it close to the large television. Sasuke looked through his collection of video games.
He ended up choosing a classic, Super Smash Bros. At this game, Naruto liked to just press any damn button until it did some bad ass moves and knocked out the other player. It did work sometimes.
They were at it for an hour; actually, they simply didn't see time pass by. Naruto kept nudging Sasuke in the ribs to tease him when he was being a sore loser. But actually Sasuke won more often, the difference was that Naruto didn't really care.
"It's not fair how can you win when you just do whatever…?" Sasuke was sulking.
"I'm lucky," Naruto grinned.
"You're an idiot."
The small cat eventually came out of her hideout to go eat some food. The two young men stopped playing to look at their new pet.
"You think she's gonna like us?" Sasuke asked and Naruto burst out laughing.
Without thinking he ruffled his silky black locks almost tenderly, "Of course."
"Stop it," Sasuke smacked his arm lightly, annoyed.
"But your hair is so soft," to tease him, Naruto continued caressing his hair anyway. The controller fell to the floor but he didn't bother picking it up. Instead he leaned closer as Sasuke was struggling.
"What the…"
"I just wanna touch it one more time…"
"No…!"
Sasuke got up but Naruto was immediately after him and he had no idea what he was doing, but teasing and torturing Sasuke was just too tempting. So instead of trying to touch his hair, suddenly he poked and tickled his sides and Sasuke was so startled that he actually stumbled and fell to the floor. Naruto burst out laughing and fell on top of him also, pinning him down. He tickled his sides while the skinny male under him struggled and tried to take a hold of Naruto's wrists to stop him. He managed to do so after a while and they were both breathing a little hard as they looked at each other.
"What the fuck, seriously…"
"I'm gonna stop, I promise, you're hurting me," Naruto whined as indeed Sasuke was holding his wrists so damn tightly.
He let go but Naruto grinned and started tickling his sides again. Sasuke was extremely ticklish, it was too funny. His t-shirt was lifted slightly now and Naruto was poking at the pale, skinny hips directly.
"Son of a…" Sasuke angrily grabbed his shoulders and managed to flip them over. Now he was pinning the older male down. "What about you? Huh? Are you ticklish?"
Naruto laughed as he tried to grab Sasuke's wrists to stop him. The roles were reversed but whatever. He was having fun. He wasn't really ticklish actually, he was just playing along. Naruto flipped over their positions again and they were simply struggling and being very immature and childish.
And then the door opened and none other than Naruto's godfather Jiraya barged into the house.
"Naruto! I brought you something that will make you feel better! Figured you'd be lonely on a Sunday evening oh… Guess I was wrong. Hi."
He stopped and stared at the odd scene that was Naruto on top of Sasuke in the living room and cleared his throat. Naruto jumped to his feet and laughed nervously, scratching his blonde hair.
"Hey, Jiraya, what's up, you could call before coming over you know?" Knocking would also be nice…
The older man grinned, "Sorry! I wasn't aware you had company… Oh," his smile faded and he looked confused, "you're a guy."
Sasuke got up and muttered, "Last time I checked."
"Sasuke, Jiraya, Jiraya, Sasuke…" Naruto fell on the sofa chair, embarrassed. Jiraya was bound to say some weird stuff. He always did.
The white-haired man put a plastic bag full of porn movies on the coffee table and Naruto face palmed. Lately Jiraya tried to cheer him up by encouraging him to watch porn. Well, whenever Naruto was depressed, Jiraya's solution was always porn. Even when Naruto was a kid.
"Is that the guy you told me about over the phone?" Jiraya inquired as he openly checked Sasuke out. The raven, standing a few feet away awkwardly, frowned. Naruto was so embarrassed.
"Yeah…"
"The one you didn't have sex with?"
Naruto grunted, "Jiraya…"
Sasuke raised a brow but said nothing. The little cat, Keiko, Naruto reminded himself, jumped on the coffee table suddenly and sniffed the plastic bag.
"Since when do you have a cat?"
"Today… Jiraya… Why did you come unannounced I mean it's late, I'm going back to work tomorrow morning remember?"
"You can come in late," he shrugged, crossing his arms, and looking around, "oh, I didn't even know that couch turned into a bed. So your friend is sleeping over?"
"Jiraya… look you can stay a little if you want, since you came all the way here… but I don't want to watch your stupid porn. Let's go to the dining room I'll make some tea…"
Ignoring him completely, his godfather stepped closer to Sasuke and looked him up and down again. Sasuke was understandably shifting nervously from one foot to the other, and stepping back as he looked down letting his bangs cover his eyes.
"Jiraya what the fuck are you doing?" Naruto sighed.
"I have to admit he's cute," he turned to give his verdict, "but since when do you like guys?"
"Could you please… stop talking?"
"Okay, okay I get it… So where's that tea? Actually I'd prefer sake."
"Hell no."
"Fine," the older man sighed and turned to Sasuke again, "You. Please don't turn my son gay."
Sasuke glanced at Naruto with freaked out, questioning eyes, probably wondering if this man was crazy.
"You're not even my father what the hell are you saying," Naruto got up and walked toward the kitchen. Jiraya followed him.
"Well that's cold! I consider you my son you know!"
"Yeah," he rolled his eyes, "more like grandson."
"Hey! I'm not that old!"
"Whatever you say…" Naruto put some water to boil as they continued arguing.
"Sixty's the new forty."
"Where the hell do you even come up with this stuff?"
Naruto glanced toward the living room. Sasuke was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Keiko. Maybe they were upstairs; Jiraya had probably scared them both away. He sighed.
"Look please don't say anymore weird stuff to Sasuke all right? You embarrassed me enough as it is."
Jiraya scratched his white hair, "Sorry… But hey I'm happy for you… if he makes you happy. You were smiling and laughing and I was really surprised! Hadn't seen you looking this happy in a while."
"We're just friends though…"
"Nah it's okay you can be honest with me. You're having a phase maybe? You can talk to Kakashi about it."
Kakashi was his therapist, and a friend of Jiraya's. Naruto nodded as he opened his cupboard to look at what selection of tea he had.
"I'll tell him. But I'm not having a phase we're just friends stop saying that. Is green tea fine?"
"Yeah. And you don't have to deny it! I know I always say gays are stupid but that doesn't mean I'm homophobic! I'll accept you just the way you are…"
"That's nice Jiraya but like I said…"
"Did you guys do it yet? Tell me you topped at least, please tell me you didn't…"
"Will you shut up? We didn't…"
"Did I interrupt you guys earlier? Were you gonna…? Oh God I'm so sorry…"
"No we were just…" Naruto frowned, "um, fighting, I guess."
"Yeah right," he burst out laughing.
"It's true! I used to do stuff like that with Kiba all the time."
"Yeah but that was ten years ago. I was worried that you two were gay for each other back then actually. But then you got with Sakura so it was all good. You should think about seeing Sakura again."
"Shut up, please."
After a moment of silence Jiraya finally became more serious, "So how are you really?"
"I'm… better," he said sincerely. "Can't wait to get back to work tomorrow."
Naruto felt like it would take his mind off things even more, and now that he wasn't so depressed and actually felt like drawing again well it was perfect.
"Great, cause work was piling up you know?" Jiraya slapped his back a little too hard but the young man was used to it.
"Well I'll do all that I can to help out. I already did the assignment we talked about on the phone. Oh and… do you think I could have a raise?" Naruto looked at his godfather with hopeful, big blue eyes.
Jiraya leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, "I don't think so, I'm sorry… The company's not doing that great and it wouldn't be fair… You know if people found out they would accuse me of giving you special treatment."
"Some pocket money then?" He made even bigger, almost desperate eyes. Jiraya couldn't resist.
"Fine. What for? Just curious."
"I'm broke," Naruto sighed, "my credit card's practically maxed out."
"I see. Just come see me at my office tomorrow I'll make you a check."
"Thanks so much. You know I'll pay you back."
"I know," Jiraya smiled fondly as he ruffled Naruto's blonde locks. "Why are you making three?" He glanced at the tea mugs.
"I'm making one for Sasuke."
"So I don't understand," Jiraya frowned, "you met this guy during your vacation… What is he doing here? Was he also in a vacation? Does he live in Tokyo?"
Naruto spoke in a little voice, averting his eyes, "He's gonna be staying here for a little while."
"Oh… well you look like you don't want to talk about it. But Kakashi's a good therapist right? You should talk to him tomorrow."
"I already told you I will. And please don't make such a big deal about it," Naruto kept his eyes on his cup of tea. "He's just here as a roommate, temporarily."
"All right, I believe you. Let's talk about something else. Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend?"
Naruto smiled and shook his head in disbelief. "Let me just bring this to Sasuke and then you can tell me all about it."
He picked up one of the mugs and made his way to the staircase, while Jiraya took his and went to sit in the dining room. Naruto walked up the stairs slowly, careful not to spill any of the hot beverage.
He found Sasuke in his bedroom, on the bed curled up on his side with the little black purring creature pressed against his chest. Sasuke was caressing her between her ears lazily with two pale fingers. He looked up and smiled at Naruto.
"Hey."
"Hey," Naruto smiled back and he put the cup of tea down on the night table. "I made tea."
"Cool," he chuckled, "thanks."
"This is so cute," Naruto motioned vaguely at the scene before him, "I wish I could draw you right now."
"You always want to draw me."
"I know. Hey I thought you wanted a cat so you could both be antisocial and ignore each other and be happy about it?" Naruto teased him, remembering his exact words.
Sasuke was still smiling; he seemed surprised that Naruto remembered this at all. He didn't reply. There was no need to.
"All right I gotta go listen to Jiraya ramble on about his new girlfriend who's probably closer to our age than his unfortunately."
"Have fun with that."
"Sorry about earlier by the way. He can be… a moron."
"It's okay," his smile faded a little but his eyes were still amused as they looked at Naruto. He wanted to draw him so badly, damn.
"You know you can join us if you want."
"I'll pass." Clearly Sasuke wanted to continue cuddling with the new love of his life. Naruto, still smiling, nodded and exited the small room.
The rest of his evening was spent drinking tea with Jiraya and listen to him rant about his new girl, who was indeed very young for him; thirty two. Apparently she was amazing, beautiful, perfect, cute, hot, sexy and every other compliment Jiraya could think of. Naruto was laughing lightly and shaking his head the whole time.
He finally said, "I just hope you don't marry her this time. Those divorces… they're gonna ruin you completely, you know?"
"Yeah I guess you're right. I also have a new secretary!"
"What the other was getting too old for you?" Naruto rolled his eyes before taking a sip of tea.
"No," Jiraya said defensively, "well, maybe, but… Anyway, I'll introduce you to her tomorrow! If you're not in a gay phase and you really are doing better than you should really date her! She's twenty two, and she's so cute! You'll see, I bet you'll like her."
"I don't want to date anyone Jiraya," he said quietly, "it's too soon, way too soon."
"Okay, sorry, forget I said anything."
They changed subjects after that, talking about work mostly. Jiraya ended the conversation by telling him about his new favorite porn actress, whom Naruto couldn't possibly care less about. But this was Jiraya, he was used to it.
When he got ready to leave a few moments later Naruto went to grab the plastic bag with the porn movies.
"Don't forget this!" he exclaimed and gave it to his godfather, who smiled as he grabbed it.
"Thanks! See you tomorrow! And really, you can come in late if you want. I'll expect you at around noon, how does that sound?"
"Okay," Naruto nodded, realizing just how late it was getting.
"Good night, I'm glad you're doing better," Jiraya put his hand on his shoulder briefly.
"Thanks, 'night."
After he left Naruto shivered and hurriedly closed the door. He flicked off all the lights downstairs and climbed up the stairs, before walking over to his bedroom.
Sasuke was on his laptop, and Keiko was sitting on the bed. The little animal looked at Naruto with big, intrigued yellow eyes.
"Hey…" Naruto approached but the kitten kind of got scared it seemed. She jumped off the bed and ran away. "I think she doesn't like me."
Sasuke chuckled, his full pale lips stretching into a beautiful smile as he looked up at Naruto… almost fondly it seemed.
"Give it some time."
"She seems to like you already though, no fair. And I paid for the ungrateful little thing too!"
"You're so stupid," Sasuke looked back at the laptop, a small smile lingering on his lips.
"What are you doing?" Naruto looked over his shoulder. He realized he was on ebay, looking at some used violins for sale. "Don't you want a new one though?"
"Do you have any idea how expensive that is?" Sasuke's smile disappeared and he looked sad as he turned his head slightly and glanced up at Naruto.
He realized they were really close so he pulled away. "I already told you I'd pay for it…"
"I'm not gonna let you buy me a freaking violin, especially not a new one."
Naruto leaned back onto the desk looking down at the raven, "And you think the used ones are gonna be any good?"
"Some of them seem fine I mean…" he whispered more to himself as he scrolled down the page, "there's this one, 200 dollars US…"
Naruto turned to look and nodded even though he wasn't knowledgeable so he couldn't tell by the description if it indeed looked fine or not. He removed himself from the desk, sighing, and went to sit on his bed.
"I really don't mind buying you a new one, you know? If you just give me a month or two I'll be perfectly able to afford it…"
"You're way too nice." Sasuke turned around, and searched Naruto's deep blue eyes for a long moment, "You shouldn't… I mean, people could take advantage of that."
"I'm only like this with people who aren't like that," Naruto argued, tilting his head. A few blonde strands fell into his eyes and he flicked them aside in annoyance.
"You… I mean, how could you know if I'm like that or not?"
"I can tell."
"You don't know much about me though."
"Then tell me," Naruto shrugged, and he climbed on the bed to sit cross legged against the pillows, "actually I've been meaning to ask you… How come you don't have any… books, or movies, music albums… posters or I don't know pictures? I mean your crazy roommates back there… all they destroyed was some clothes and your violin right?"
Sasuke licked his lips and looked down. For a moment Naruto regretted his words, wondering if he'd been bringing up a touchy subject too soon. But Sasuke didn't seem that fragile. Indeed it turned out he wasn't too troubled. When he looked up he was thoughtful. Suddenly he took out his thin, worn black leather wallet from his back pocket and opened it. He took out a few small pictures and handed them to Naruto.
"That's all I have."
He looked at them while holding them respectfully. Well there were only two; a normal sized one, folded in four to fit in the wallet, of a beautiful woman who looked a lot like Sasuke, his mother, he supposed, and the other one was a small graduation picture of a guy who again, looked a lot like Sasuke.
"My mother and my older brother Itachi," he said when Naruto gave them back. He placed them back in his wallet and then dropped it on the desk. He sighed and turned around in the chair again, facing Naruto as he spoke in a low voice, "I used to have tons of books. I was really into the horror, or thriller genre. Same for movies – plus some ninja ones," he admitted with a little smile. Naruto couldn't help but smile back.
"Gotta love those."
"Yeah… I had um…" he looked down, "so much music… rock alternative and symphonic metal, mostly. Some classical, some instrumental… all the Apocalyptica albums… I saw you had some in your IPod too…"
"Yeah they're amazing." Naruto was eager to hear more, to know more about Sasuke, so he waited.
Still looking downward he continued speaking softly, "I'm a runaway kid, Naruto," he finally admitted, "I ran away from… him, my uncle…"
"You mean, after he did that to you," Naruto looked at Sasuke's chest even though the scar was covered by his t-shirt right now.
"Yeah…"
"But you must've been at the hospital for a while…" That big a wound must have been pretty extreme… he thought. He waited expectantly for Sasuke to continue but he was hesitating.
He ran pale shaky fingers through his long raven locks in frustration, "It's complicated…"
Naruto suddenly understood something. "You never told anyone about this."
"N-No… I haven't."
"You can tell me if you want. Or if you're not comfortable I can get you an appointment with my therapist instead. He's really good."
Sasuke hugged the back of the chair, "I can tell you if you want."
"I'll listen."
He took a deep breath, "Well Madara… raped me."
Naruto's eyes widened a little, he hadn't expected this.
"Twice," he continued in a shaky voice, "once before…" he touched his chest, "this, and then after…"
"But… when he did that… you said it wasn't an accident so…"
"It was attempted murder," Sasuke nodded, "but he told everyone it was an accident. To this day I… have no idea how he pulled it off. Hell maybe he told them I did that to myself, I don't even know. But he was a pretty convincing guy. He was very elegant, charming, people loved him. He didn't even go to jail or anything at first. And he arranged a hospital bed and everything to be installed in his house so I woke up there. I had a private doctor at home the whole deal. But I was fucking scared that he'd try to kill me again."
"But I don't get it," Naruto was so confused, "why did he try to do that in the first place?"
"Maybe I should start with the beginning, huh?" Sasuke chuckled weakly. He placed his arms on top of the chair and hid his face partly. "I went to live with him when I was thirteen. My parents… died in a car crash so… Madara took us in, Itachi and I. Um… Itachi was eighteen so he had finished high school and he left to go study in the States. Madara raped me for the first time when I turned sixteen. It was pretty fucked up… I was kinda traumatized after that."
"I can imagine…" Naruto swallowed hard.
Sasuke slowly looked up and locked eyes with him. Then he glanced away again.
"Yeah. But it was weird… we never talked about it. Madara pretended like nothing happened. So I thought maybe it was a one time thing and it'd passed. The sparring thing… I liked it but I hated being near him. He insisted though… It wasn't so bad 'cause I was getting better every time. When some of his friends came over they were impressed with my skills. I was becoming even better than him," Sasuke chuckled dryly. "He wasn't too happy about that. Everything was about dominating with him."
When he hesitated Naruto asked, "And then what happened?"
"Well… when I was seventeen he tried to rape me again, but I was stronger so I resisted. I was struggling too much he wasn't able to do anything and we just ended up hurting one another and… He said he wanted to fight for it, with the real swords."
"Fight for it?"
"Yeah… if he won, he got to fuck me, and if I won, he'd leave me alone. I figured I had nothing to lose, since… fight or no fight… he was gonna try anyway. And I thought I could beat him." He scratched his nose, and then ran his fingers through his hair nervously as he continued, "So we fought. He was getting exhausted, and frustrated. I'm… I'm really patient when I fight… I wait for the other to get exhausted, and then I get more aggressive… So I did that… he almost lost… he was about to drop the fucking sword I could tell. But then he cheated. He kicked my leg and I fell, and he… slashed me. That's how it happened. I saw it in his eyes," he frowned, narrowed his dark eyes and shook his head slightly. "He wanted to kill me in that moment. But apparently he changed his mind. I don't know. I passed out. Next thing I remember, I woke up in the hospital room, set up in Madara's house. I was still pretty weak. They gave me some morphine, the whole deal. Some really sweet girl from school brought me all my homework. So I was able to study and show up for the exams."
"And you still got the highest grades," Naruto said in disbelief.
"I'm smart like that," Sasuke chuckled.
"But… it doesn't even make sense," Naruto tugged at his own hair, trying to understand, "you… why didn't you tell anyone about what happened to you? About your uncle? I mean what the hell?"
"Ever since my parents died, and Itachi left me alone with that man… I became really introverted. When he raped me it didn't help," he closed his eyes and seemed to shudder at the memory. Naruto wanted nothing more than to comfort him but he sat still and waited for the rest of the story. "I kinda… put walls around myself, or whatever you wanna call it. I never talked to anyone. I was even… I could say I was disrespectful. Madara always spoke to the headmaster and the teachers to tell them I had a special condition or whatever. They let me sit in the back, and they let me work alone, even when it was team projects or whatever. They never asked me questions. Some days went by when I never even opened my mouth to talk, you know?"
"That's fucked up…"
"Yeah I was that weird kid you know? Every school has one, maybe… that was me. Some girls thought I was cute or whatever but they still stayed away. Like, Naruto, I'm telling you, except for my parents, and my brother maybe, you're probably the person I talked the most with in my entire life, and I've only known you for a couple days."
"That's hard to believe."
"But it's true. So you can imagine I was used to keeping stuff to myself. When Madara did… what he did… I didn't know what to do."
When Sasuke stopped talking Naruto frowned, "But you said he raped you twice?"
"Yeah. Right after the exams. I was still weakened from the injury. I couldn't defend myself. I just waited for it to be finished," his voice became weak and strangled, "it was so horrible like you have no idea." He shuddered, breathing hard, "It was the longest fucking moment of my life. I can still feel it when I think about it, even after all this time. I'm sorry I…" he frowned as he rubbed his eyes. He looked at the tears he had gathered on his hand somewhat disbelievingly. Perhaps, Naruto thought, he hadn't cried in a long time.
"So you ran away after that? I can imagine…"
"Yeah…" he whispered. "I just took my violin and clothes in a backpack and that's it."
"But, Sasuke, if that guy is still out there…"
He shook his head, his bangs hid his face but Naruto could still see that he was crying. He kept rubbing his fingers under his eyes frantically.
"N-No he… a few months later I saw it in the news; he got arrested… Apparently he raped some other guys… Maybe he was frustrated 'cause I was gone, or maybe he was already doing it before, I have no idea. But yeah he got caught; he's in jail for life I think. That's what I saw in the news anyway, back then."
"Thank God…"
"Yeah, he got what he deserved," Sasuke sniffed, and then sighed shakily as he continued rubbing his eyes. "But I feel guilty sometimes when I think that... maybe he did that to those other boys cause of me. Cause I didn't tell..."
"You'll hurt yourself," Naruto said worriedly. He jumped to his feet and stepped closer to Sasuke. He hesitated but took his slender pale wrists and pulled them away from his face.
Naruto lifted him up and held him tight, pushing the chair away. Sasuke slowly calmed down, but his skinny body was still racked by occasional sobs as warm tears fell on Naruto's shoulders.
"I feel so… lame I mean… this is so stupid like, why the hell am I crying it's been such a long time," he tried to chuckle but it sounded more like a sob. Naruto squeezed him tight, comfortingly.
"Hey," he said quietly, "don't worry about it. Just let it out."
This actually made Sasuke chuckle, for real this time, he pulled away slowly, only to fall back in the computer chair. He wiped his reddened eyes one last time and looked up at Naruto.
"It's kinda fucked up that I told you all this… Oh hey…" Sasuke looked away as they heard a small mewl. Keiko jumped on Sasuke's legs and Naruto smiled at the sight. He returned to sit on the bed.
"Was there anything else you wanted to tell me?"
"Yeah," Sasuke said in a low voice as he caressed the little black hairy ball curling up on his thighs. "I got checked after that, and I was clean. I didn't do anything with anyone else cause the whole thing kinda…" He sighed.
"What, you were… disgusted by sex or something?"
"I guess… but, a couple weeks ago, when Sasori…"
Naruto gasped quietly. Damn, he had forgotten about the Sasori thing.
"I mean I get paranoid sometimes," Sasuke frowned, still looking at the little cat on his lap, "I really don't know where that guy's dick's been so…"
Naruto cleared his throat, "Yeah you should get checked… I can take you to a clinic if you want. In fact we could go tomorrow morning. I'm only going to work at noon."
"It's okay," Sasuke said a bit shyly, "I can go by myself you've done more than enough."
"No I'll go with you. I know how it is…"
Finally he looked up, flipping his bangs swiftly and their eyes met. "You've done it before?"
"Yeah," he explained, "in between Sakura and Hinata there was a random girl, at a party… We did it without a condom she said it was fine and we were drunk so… But the next day I got paranoid so I know exactly how you feel."
"You wanna go tomorrow morning?" he asked in a little voice.
"Yeah sure."
"Thank you…" Sasuke seemed relieved as he glanced away. Relieved and scared at the same time.
Naruto wondered, if he was so paranoid, then why hadn't he gotten checked before? Then he remembered, back then, he had been scared to go alone… and when Kiba had offered to go with him then it had been okay. Maybe for Sasuke it was the same, and he had been a little scared to go alone. Naruto really hoped he was okay.
"Maybe we should go to sleep then," Sasuke got up and Keiko made a sound of protest before running away.
"Yeah, good night Sasuke, try not to worry about it too much 'kay?"
"Yeah okay… thanks."