A/N: another chapter! omg! X3 tehe anyways hope you like it...as always I'm terrified I've done it too emotional, but for my defence it ougta be emotional coz of what's happening. lol. just read and review, will yah? -wink-

Wake Up

Chapter 6: Consequences

It was dark, as always, in the little room Nymphadora Tonks was occupying. Lying on the bed by the wall, she slept with a pained expression on her white face. She was tossing and turning restlessly where she lay; searching for a relief but finding none. What had plagued her for only a couple of hours came back each night; worse every time because of the new pains inflicted upon her when not alone. Nightmares slowly broke her numb body, and she wasn't alone in fearing it might be too much for her to take.

He was there again. Standing in the doorway with that look of indifference on his face. She still remembered the glimpse of emotions she'd caught when he'd returned one night. He'd looked determined, lost, hurt… But as this night everything went blank and the same old routine took place. How long had she been here? Surely it'd gone more than a week!

"Push me away," he whispered. She froze at this. Where were his curses, his firm voice that uttered minor but painful hexes?

"Push me away and I will leave," he said again, now more loudly. What was he talking about? He was standing several feet away… No, it wasn't that far to the doorway, was it? Blinking, she took in her surroundings. She was sitting in wet grass, her clothes getting damper by the second. They were whole, not torn, since he always mended them before leaving. Thoughts on him again, she looked up to find him still standing by the doorway. It was there, clearly pictured in her subconscious mind, the doorway and the walls beside it. Yet here she sat, far away, on a pillow of grass in the middle of a forest.

"It's eating me up! Please push me away! It's burning! Make it stop! Make it stop!" he screamed; now desperate. His face was no longer shut off from his emotions; it was twisted and his eyes were pleading. Remembering that night he'd lost himself totally, giving her pleasure that was so wrong, she unwillingly let out a moan. His pain showed so clearly now, and she longed to take it away just like he'd done after…after Lucius. Images flashed before her, closed out the black-haired man's face. She felt the familiar pain in her stomach and between her tights. She swallowed and slowly brought her hands up to her face, where she felt blood dripping from several small wounds caused by teeth. It was too much, all this that had happened, all this that refused to leave her alone… Helplessly throwing herself onto the ground, crying, she forced her eyes to look up on the figure in the doorway so far away. He was bending over as if he was in pain too, and she longed to see his face again. But it was hidden behind his black curtain of hair, and she was unable to see if he too was crying.

"I won't! Do you hear me? I won't! I'll make you push me away! I'll make you disappear! I won't give in!"

Now gasping for air, she tried to make sense of his words; but she was in too much pain. She rolled around, back arching up as her eyes rolled back in her head. Then suddenly, it stopped. The damp grass underneath her cooled her burning skin, calmed her rapid heartbeats.

"Severus?" she whispered, closing her eyes, but she was met by silence. Fear rose within her and her eyes snapped open. Rolling back to lie on her stomach, she gazed towards the place the doorway should've been. Nothing; there was nothing. Where had he gone to?

"No! Don't leave me here! No! Please, Severus, don't leave me alone!" she cried out into the empty forest. No sound of startled birds, no whispers from the trees, just silence. She was alone. Alone.

"Why? What are you doing to me? What were you talking about Severus? WHAT DO YOU WANT!" she screamed terrified of what she was feeling, what she was going through.

"I don't know…I don't know…"

'He's back,' she though happily while relaxing her tensed muscles, 'he's back!'

"Nymphadora! Nymph…oh for god's sake…TONKS!" Severus yelled. He'd walked in to find the woman lost in herself, crying, screaming, mumbling words he couldn't make sense of, arching her back up in pain, and so far he had been unable to wake her from whatever nightmares she might be having.

"No! Don't leave me here! No! Please, Severus, don't leave me alone!" Severus froze at her sudden plead. What was he doing in her dream?

"Tonks, come on you stupid girl, snap out of it!" he growled while shaking her gently. He feared she had injuries yet to be healed, injuries she'd hidden from him, so he retrained himself from shaking her as hard as he wanted. Cursing himself mentally for even thinking in such a way, Severus slapped her a bit too hard across the cheek. Tonks didn't seem to notice, and kept sobbing in a desperate way. She was saying something, but he couldn't make out the words. Leaning closer, Severus concentrated and shut any other sound out…it was just her voice now…just her voice…

"Why? What are you doing to me? What were you talking about Severus? WHAT DO YOU WANT!" Almost falling backwards in his attempt to get away from the screaming witch, Severus winced at the volume her shaky voice could have. It took him a few seconds before the words that rang in his ears sunk in. 'Yes, what is it you truly want, Severus?'

Sighing and sitting down on his knees, Severus gave up his tries to wake Tonks. He watched as her chest rose and fell rapidly; every muscle in her body tense and aware, yet not. A sudden urge to stroke her red cheek hit him, and before he knew it, his fingers lingered inches from her skin.

"I don't know… I don't know…" he whispered confused while caressing her cheek. Five days, and he already feared she'd done something that was permanently burned into his very core. What, he didn't know.

"Severus?" Tonks mumbled, breaking the silence. His answer was to withdraw his hand, stand up, and give her a wistful glance before turning to leave. He had known when he brought her here that his actions would have consequences, and only bad ones. Now he felt himself unprepared for what they might be, curious yet terrified. Would she break? Die? Would he break, would he die? Would he succeed?

"Don't, please, don't…." were the words that stopped him from leaving. Closing his eyes and clenching his fists, Severus took a deep breath before turning to face the woman on the bed once again. She had moved, and lay on her side facing him instead on her stomach with her head turned. Eyes in a dull colour of brown-grey that he knew all too well locked with his own black and he could almost feel the hurt and confusion that reflected in her every being.

"I….I am…" he started, but choked on his own words. "Just go back to sleep," he finished when nothing else managed to leave his lips. 'Coward.'

"I can't…I don't want to…It hurts," she wailed while reaching out for him with her hands. Wanting nothing but to back away, to leave her there needing, Severus looked away.

"Then don't," he snapped before taking a step back. In a speed that would have been slow if it wasn't made by a wounded and tired woman, Tonks jumped up from her bed and stalked the few steps that were between her and Severus. He stood still, shocked but composed, and waited. She stood looking up into his eyes, searching. He didn't even try to avoid the hard slap she gave him, making his head snap to one side. He stood still, eyes once again closed, and waited until the burning feeling on his cheek disappeared before facing Tonks.

"I can't tell reality from dream anymore. Is this a dream? Are you really able to show any feelings at all? Can you speak without causing me pain?" she said with a frown of concentration, caused by her refusal to cry again. Severus stood silent, waiting for her to give up on him. He honestly didn't want to explore what had happened between them, pain or pleasure shared, because he knew it was to no good. It all was so wrong and unfair, as usual in his life.

"Somehow I know that you both can, and can't. I don't know how or why I know this. It's like how I really don't know why I want you near, why I feel safe, why I feel at all….Do you?" she whispered while grabbing his shirt, bringing him closer and forcing him to stay.

"It's more or less two days left until you may leave without too much suspicion. I will talk to Dumbledore tomorrow, and I will find out when he plans to come and take you away from here. Hold on to what little sanity you have left, Nymphadora, and forget about whatever feelings you have towards me," he snapped uncomfortably, knowing he was suggesting for her to forget feelings that kept her sane. But what else was he to do? If her mind truly had been twisted by his hands, if she somehow got the Stockholm-syndrome, then it would be difficult to unwind the mess he'd made. 'Love can not be found through something like this', he thought grimly.

"I don't want to forget!" she hissed angrily. Her eyes sparkled and the dull colour changed into a dark brown he hadn't seen before.

"You will!" he shot back before pulling at her hands; trying to get her to let go.

"No! And you can't make me push you away! You said it burned, you said to make it stop, but I won't! I don't know what you meant, I don't know what it is that you're hiding from me!" she screamed while clawing at his shirt for a new grip. He wished he'd done something to those nails last time she tried to scratch him, but now wasn't the time to wonder why he hadn't. Grabbing her wrists, Severus tried to still the hysterical witch. It ended with the couple falling to the floor, sitting together in an awkward position. Tonks felt herself being pressed against his chest in a try to still her, and gradually relaxed into the warmth.

"It's too much….it's so much...we…I…don't know," she breathed into the black fabric of his torn shirt.

"Yes, it is," he answered in his low voice, tightening his embrace in a search for peace. His heartbeat was slowly calming, yet it felt as if it still hit his bones in a very painful way. Sweat beads that had started to take form on his forehead was wiped away by his arm as he tried one last time to get out of this room.

"No!" Tonks said when his arms left her. Her own quickly went up around him, keeping him from leaving, and it was all that was needed for him to finally give up.

"Nymphadora…this only makes things worse. I shouldn't…" Severus began, but he knew he was stating nothing true, for his arms had already found their way around the trembling woman and a feeling of…rightness…settled over them. He knew then that what he feared, what he had known, was happening. Consequences of his actions where beginning to hit home and he could do nothing but wait for the final blow.

A/N: yeah that was a lot of "I don't know"s but well...review? O.o (you better do that though coz my confident is lacking!)

hmm...some chocolate would be nice...lol...need to go and waste money on something that'll make me fat, so until the next update,

CHEERS!