"Emily? Please look at me."
She kept her eyes closed and shook her head. "I... I can't!"

"Yes you can. Please don't shut me out!"

"I have to, Hotch!" She whispered. "I don't want you to see me like this!"

Hotchner sighed. He wanted to help her - but how, if she wouldn't even look at him? How could he be there for her as long as she wanted to hide?

*'*'*'*

"There is nothing you'd have to feel ashamed for!"

Instead of a verbal answer, Emily only snorted.

"I couldn't stop him!" She whispered. "I'm a well-trained FBI agent, but I couldn't stop him from..."

Her voice broke before she could finish her sentence, but she didn't need to. Hotch knew exactly what she was talking - or rather not talking - about.

"It's my fault."

The guilt in her voice tore something apart inside of Hotch. How could she think that? How could she think she was to blame for what Cyrus had done to her?

"IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT THAT THIS BASTARD RAPED YOU, EMILY!"

He had not wanted to scream at her, had not wanted to scare her, but the words had come out louder than intended. Hotch mentally scolded himself for losing control - he never did!

Hell, Emily had already been scared enough, but now she was shaking even more.

It took Hotch a couple of time to realize the yelling itself hadn't even been the worst mistake. He had used the r-word! Had forcefully confronted Emily with the ugly truth of what had happened, and, which was even worse, had irreversibly let her known that he knew.

Emily couldn't breathe. She was fighting for air which didn't seem to reach her lungs.

"NO-O!" She screamed. "No no no no! I... he..." She hugged her legs tight to her body, tears streaming down her face. Each sob ripped Hotch into further pieces.

Before Emily had let him inside, she had asked him whether he knew - or thought he knew - what had happened inside that basement, but hearing him say it out loud was very different from acknowledging that he "feared he knew" it!

"I'm sorry, Emily. I..."

He stopped mid-sentence when Emily shook her head. Was she refusing his apology? Would she throw him out now? Or did she just need some time? Maybe all three?

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say that! I..." He started again, this time interrupting himself instead of being interrupted by Emily. I what? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have confronted you with reality? Hell, Emily had been confronted with what happened for more than two weeks now! Two weeks in which she had not slept at all, two weeks in which she had been haunted by memories she couldn't forget; by memories she was too ashamed for to share them with anyone!

He was losing her!

With every second he hesitated, Emily was succumbing deeper and deeper to her pain.

Although he had admired her for working up the courage to call him in the middle of the night; to finally open up and ask for help, Hotch had been able to tell from the sound of her voice that Emily was falling apart. Yes, she had been pulling herself together from the moment she had allowed him to enter the apartment, had desperately been trying to hide her pain, hide her tears, but it was just too much. Someone needed to pick up the pieces Cyrus had left her in, or otherwise no one would ever be able to put them back together.

*'*'*'*

"Please tell me what to do!"

Her answer was only a whisper:

"Hold me."