A/N: again sry for the long update lol and sry for the short chapter and loose ends ;P

Wake Up

Chapter 7: What if I wanted to break?

"I do not trust him fully, Lucius, but he has never failed me like you have. He is one of my best Death Eaters, and his skills are more needed than yours at this time," Voldemort's hissing voice sneered. A covering black-clad figure shook silently out of pain in front of his feet. The muddy ground had made the otherwise clean and stylish cloak on the figure almost brown from the rolling around he'd done minutes earlier. The Dark Lord smirked evilly before snapping his thin fingers and calling out a name.

"Look up on the progress he's making. Search for small things, details, that could be considered suspicious. I want a report, not a speech from a jealous idiot," he snapped angrily. Another black-clad person bowed and Disapparated.

"McNair! Report."

How it had come to this, he would never know. Six days had passed, and one visit had interrupted his plan. This morning, he had wished and hoped today would be the day but it hadn't. A hoarse voice had called from downstairs, forcing a tired Severus Snape to quickly get dressed. His wards only affected those who weren't Death Eaters, on Voldemort's orders, and thus he wouldn't know if, let's say, Greyback came for a visit. Which he had, this morning.

"Snape! I'm here to check on the Auror. Lucius tells me she's a real catch," he'd greeted the sour-looking Potions Master. Severus had responded by clenching his fists and growling in frustration.

"Still touchy when it comes to sharing the good bits, are we?" Greyback sneered in return. Now that Severus thought back, he wondered why he hadn't just killed the werewolf right there. Surely he would get away with it if he said Greyback was insulting him and the importance of his task? No, Voldemort would never believe that. But still.

"What can I do for you, Greyback?" was all Severus had said, annoyed to have a visitor that early in the morning. The wolfish man had grinned wickedly, showing off his yellow teeth, and waited for Severus to figure it out. Which he had. The question hadn't been necessarily.

"This way werewolf, but you will not come within ten meters of that damned witch," he'd growled while showing the way. Greyback had followed with a barking laugh that reminded Severus of Black. Which sunk his mood into something really nasty.

"Hello girlie, I heard you had a thing for us werewolves," Greyback greeted with his damaged voice. "Care for a rendezvous in the moonlight?"

Severus had been holding the door open, so that his visitor could peek inside and find the exhausted Nymphadora Tonks lying on the trashed bed. He didn't know why, but his relationship to her was now impossible to keep indifferent. Therefore a clean blanket and soft pillow had found their way into the room. This hadn't seemed to wake the careless wolf's attention, as far as Severus could tell.

"No thank you. Lately, I've discovered that bats are so much better in all ways," Tonks had replied coolly from the bed. Her cheek wasn't what Severus had expected, and he had wanted to slap her hard for opening her mouth. Greyback had left a few minutes later with the words; "She's not done yet Snape. I'll have a talk with our Lord, and he won't be pleased. This is taking far too long."

Slamming the door shut in the werewolf's face would've helped calming Severus, but Greyback chose to Disapparate like always. Now Severus was left standing outside Tonks' room, gritting his teeth in annoyance. He had to get her away from here before Voldemort sent another message-boy, which meant he had to contact Dumbledore tonight, or even today.

"Please, do explain why you are making this even harder," he growled when he opened the door. Tonks hadn't moved from her place on the bed, and had only wrapped herself in the blanket.

"Huh?" she said while blinking. She was obviously tired, and didn't seem to be able to sleep. He couldn't help himself; but how beautiful he thought she was. Such natural, strong beauty. A beauty he was destroying.

"I can't tell reality from dream anymore. Is this a dream? Are you really able to show any feelings at all? Can you speak without causing me pain?"

"…I really don't know why I want you near, why I feel safe, why I feel at all….Do you?"

So many questions he would never be able to answer. That night would be forever locked away in his mind, Severus knew. Whatever it was that had made him hold her tight through the night, made him dry her tears and cup her face to steal a kiss, whatever it was it was going to be forgotten when she woke up from this nightmare. When she woke up and healed; when she became someone he would like to know.

"You didn't behave like a broken woman; you didn't behave like a desperate prisoner. You made Greyback send word to Voldemort about my failure in making his wishes come true. You have now forced me to contact Dumbledore in the middle of the day. Explain," he drawled, some of his anger gone. He'd moved from the doorway to stand by the bed, glaring.

"I didn't mean to…but I'm not broken," she whispered while meeting his glare; eyes shining and cheeks coloured by either lack of sleep or embarrassment. Severus looked away and sighed.

"Stop it, Nymphadora. You are going to be out of my house by tonight and you are going to wake up from this nightmare. I am going to contact Dumbledore now, so get yourself prepared for your 'escape'," he said before turning to leave. She managed to stop him by taking a hold of his hand.

"I want you to know that I…I understand. It was the only way to save me, and you have. I'm not broken, and this is not a nightmare. This is life; this is reality," she said in a low voice, a small smile turning her lips upwards.

"This should never have happened," Severus whispered back, more to himself than her, and left. She stared at the closed door and wondered what had happened to them. Was she broken, so broken that she had fallen for Snape? Or was she still intact, free to follow her heart with a sane mind? She didn't know and most likely she would never know. He was gone to contact Dumbledore and in hours she would be free. But all she wanted was for life to not be the same as it had been before. Maybe if it changed, she could be with this dark, brooding man that had caused her so much pain?

"Please love me," she whispered into the silence of the room. Her eyes were locked on the door, which was now visible because of a small candle. She hadn't even noticed it hanging in the air before, giving her enough light to see the door from where she lay.

"All of you, out! Greyback, stay behind," Voldemort hissed. The werewolf had just returned and told him of the Auror's state, and about the little 'details' he'd wanted, such as a warm, clean blanket and pillow followed by a tray filled with food. What he had feared may be true. Snape wasn't the same cruel teenager he once was. He was giving in to the disgust many felt when torturing someone, and by the look of it the cold and intelligent Potions Master was also blinded by the beauty of women. Voldemort only knew one solution, and it was death. He was going to kill that woman, he was going to make her suffer and he was going to do it in front of Snape. He had to suffocate whatever the man felt, and he had to do it now.

"Greyback, I want you to go and get Snape for me. But before that, send Nott to wait outside to fetch the Auror in Snape's home. He has to do that after you have collected Snape, understood?" he snapped dangerously. The man before him bowed and left without another word. These approaching hours were ones Voldemort was going to enjoy.

"He and some Order members are coming soon. They should be here within an hour," Severus said through the door, not daring to open it. His forehead rested against the cool wood and all he wanted was to sit down and close his eyes.

"If I'm really broken, like you say, then…why don't I want to leave your house? Why don't I want to leave you?" a voice asked. Severus stiffened and looked at the door with wide eyes. She was standing on the other side by the sound of it. Without realizing it, he raised his hand and placed the palm against the door; almost as if placing it against her hand.

"You really shouldn't think too much, just let it go," Severus said tiredly. The door didn't have the same cooling feeling as it had seconds ago. "I did this to you Tonks, and you should hate me. I messed your thoughts and feelings up, so ignore it and just hate me. It's so much easier to hate."

It was quiet for a while, but Severus was sure you could hear the beating of his heart. It was easier to hate, and he really thought it easier to be hated than loved too. But this was different. He didn't want her to hate him, yet he craved it. He needed to feel her anger, needed her hate to lessen his own. He didn't know, but perhaps it really would ease his own self-hatred.

"Then what if I wanted you to mess with my feelings? What if I wanted to break?"

A/N: well things are beginning to close up now, aren't they? ;) anyways, plz review?