The next day brought a heavy downpour. I was in the midst of breakfast with the king and Bethany, when I realized I hadn't seen Jam all morning.

"Have either of you seen Jam?" I asked.

"We were just about to ask you," replied Bethany.

"I thought I heard Jam earlier, but it sounded as if he was arguing with someone," added King Piter.

"Where?" I said.

"It was by the library. He could still be there; I heard him on my way here."

"I'm going to go investigate. You two stay here."

They agreed and I got up and made my way to the library. Soon enough, just as the king had said, I heard voices. They sounded angry. I just heard the last line as I looked into the room. The door had a small window on it. I witnessed Jam and another man with blonde hair, whom I had never seen before, arguing heatedly. Jam's gloves and tux coat were gone and he was barefoot. The last thing I heard was from the blonde.

"If you were even HALF the man your father was!"

I recognized it as a threat. I saw Jam freeze. The two men stared at each other. Then I saw Jam do something I never thought I'd see him do; he brought his fist back and whopped the other man right in the jaw. Hard. I heard an awful crunch and saw blood fly from his mouth. My friend then started towards the door. I hid a little ways down the hall. Before closing the door, I saw Jam turn back and mutter, "bastard" before walking the other direction.
I decided to follow him. He walked fast, and I had to keep up with him. Every once in a while, I saw him reach a hand up to his face and wipe his cheek. Was he crying? I followed him out into the rain. I didn't care if I got wet, and apparently neither did Jam. His hair was plastered to his head, and he wrapped his arms around himself and his shoulders stared to shake violently. Yes. He was definitely crying. There was no doubt In my mind now. I felt awful.
I came up behind him and he started as I put a hand on his shoulder. He turned.

"I love you," he said.

That made me stop for a moment. He'd said it so suddenly I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. "What?"

"It wasn't a dream."

So it had been real. For some reason, I was glad. I didn't care. I voiced this to Jam. He stared at me. "I agree, sir," was his reply. It may have been raining, but I still could make out tears streaming down his face. My lover's eyes were bloodshot. Yes. He was my lover and I was his. I kissed his cheek, trying in vain to ease whatever pain he was in. Turning back, I looked to him and soaked in the sight of his face. It was flawless.

"I need..." I heard him mutter. "I need...you."

I smiled. "And I need you."

He leaned down. I leaned forward. Our lips met but it wasn't like the first time. Jam was forceful; not as gentle as he had been. He crushed his lips against mine. I could feel his pain through his touch. That lovely touch...the touch I craved like a wild animal. We closed our eyes and I felt adrenaline seep through me as Jam held me as tight as he could.

The question was weighing on me. I pulled my head back, but not my body. "Who was that?"

Jam's face registered outrage. He sighed. "A friend."

I snorted. "Yeah, right! I heard him and saw the way you were looking at each other with such malice. Friend, my ass! Jam," I continued, a little quieter. "What happened?"

"Alright," Jam said. "I'll tell you."

I nuzzled my head into his chest, waiting for him to go on. I held onto him for moral support as I heard him take a tear scarred, shaky breath that racked his body.

"I was 15. I was alone. My parents had already died, sir, which I do not want to go into detail about. I was an orphan at the time. I had met two friends: Jasper and Luke. They became my family. I mainly lived on the streets near them. I'd seen so much death on those streets; I was living in the ghetto, sir. That's when I decided I wanted to help people. But before I knew it, Jasper made the decision to join a gang. That gang beat on me daily. I'd suffered many wounds inflicted by them, young sir. Jasper was none the wiser about what I had to go through,for they'd threatened to kill me if I ever told anyone.

"Jasper joined them and soon the gang confronted me once more. Now, mind you, I was already sporting multiple injuries, sir. My friends didn't know about it because I had stopped hanging out with them for fear of questions. Anyway, Jasper and the gang found me in a dark alley behind an office building. Jasper was surprised to see me and vice versa. I had a black eye at that time, along with bruises everywhere and an ankle that was dangerously close to breaking in multiple places. The gang leader began the torture, starting with snapping my ankle, and Jasper realized finally who he had joined. As he watched the leader beat me senseless, he stepped between us.

"I remember the fear, sir. I'd tried to tell him that they'd hurt him, too, but he brushed it off. That was his mistake. They killed him, young sir, and forced me to watch. It was brutal. Before I knew it, Luke had shown up; the commotion was hard to miss. There were gunshots and my voice, screaming at Jasper to get up even when he had bullet holes in multiple places. I turned to Luke. I asked for help. Luke turned on me. He joined the leader while he beat me once more. I was screaming, sir, pleading for Luke to stop and realize what he was doing. But Luke claimed that my father's death was my fault and that I had to be punished."

Jam stopped. I didn't ask him to go on. I knew it was Luke he was fighting a few minutes ago. I was crying now, too. "I'm so sorry, Jam." Jam just sniffed in response.

Jam moved his hand to my head and proceeded to pet my hair. I looked up, kissing him again gently. He smiled slightly, leaning into it.

"Erec? Jam?"

Our eyes snapped open. Our bodies froze. I turned to see who had found us and sucked in a sharp breath.
Bethany.

...

"Uhhhh..."

"What's going on?" asked Bethany warily.

"Bethany-"

"Are you two...you're not...you're...oh my god..." The realization had struck her and her eyes widened. "You're-"

"Bethany-"

"-gay?!"

It hit home. Jam exhaled sharply. I turned back to Bethany. "How long were you watching us?"

"Just now," Bethany replied. "I came looking for you since it's been like half an hour since you left breakfast. I saw a shape through the rain and stumbled upon...uh..."

"Yeah..."

We were all silent. I looked back. Jam was holding his head in his hands. "Bethany..." I began. "I didn't even know myself. I'm so sorry. I truly am. I just figured it out two days ago. I was planning to tell you soon but I never got you alone to do so. You shouldn't have found out this way. I swear that I am incredibly and sincerely sorry."

"It's OK."

I was surprised. "What?"

"I can't change who you are." Bethany was giving me an honest smile."You know you could have told me when you found out. I don't mind. Even though I figure I just lost my boyfriend, really the only difference is that we won't be able to kiss anymore. It's alright to me if you two are homosexuals so long as you don't...do it...in public or anything."

"OK that's just gross."

Bethany laughed. She then gave me a hug and walked over to Jam. She moved his hands from his face and hugged him, too. "Pretty much the same goes for you, too." Jam smiled in return, his eyes red.

"Will you tell anyone?" I asked, hearing Jam gasp.

"No. Not unless you do."

"I'm holding you to that."

"Hey I know that if I were homosexual I wouldn't want it getting out either. You can trust me."

"Thank you...and again, I'm sorry."

"You've apologized enough."

"...sorry."

She rolled her eyes. "Let's get back. The king is worried about both of you."

We all walked back toward the castle and I looked up. Jam looked almost sick.

"The king..."

"Oh, Jam," I said. "It'll be fine. Bethany promised not to tell anyone."

"I've kissed the king's son!" I could tell he was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Jam! Calm down. Everything'll be OK."

I decided to hold his hand the whole way back. Inside I was fuming. How I loathed complications in anything and this situation was no exception.

...

I regret nothing.