Kurt had no idea where he was. Well, he had an idea, but wasn't sure of exactly where he was. He knew it was north of the shelter and that he was close to the cliffs he'd found before with the rough stones beneath his feet near the head of the spring. He had wanted to be able to get water when he wanted it. Now, he needed to set up some kind of shelter and find a food source. That sounded easier than it proved to be.
He could find the water and had the metal container to do the boiling. He could find some palm trees and get branches to make a bed of sorts and a shelter to keep out the rain. He was confident that he could live independently.
As the sun was setting and night cooled the air around him, Kurt shivered. It might have been more loneliness than cool air, but in either case it didn't feel good. Try as he might, Kurt found himself unable to start a fire. Blaine had matches, but Kurt hadn't been able to find them. He tried to make a device to rub sticks using a shoestring as he'd seen on one of those survival shows, but it wasn't working and now he had a sore shoulder to go along with his other miseries. If only he hadn't let his hormones rule his actions, he might be sleeping with Blaine's arm curled around him right now. He sighed again and sorted through the things he'd set in a neat pile on the ground, finding first the blanket and second the water bottle. He took a big gulp and then wrapped himself in the blanket to try and sleep. It was too uncomfortable to lie on the rocky ground, so he sat in a space he'd cleared of stones and put his head on his bent knees, his arms folded.
"Good night, Dr. Blaine," he said aloud, as if the man was here for him to speak to.
He did manage to doze off for a while, but not long, and woke up hungry. He tried to find the sun with his face, turning slowly to determine if the heat was pounding down but to no avail. It was still cool, so it must still be night. Kurt had kept a nightlight in the hallway of his house from the time he lost his mother when he was eight to when he entered high school. He was still a bit afraid, but his dad teased him about it and he'd acted like the light was for his dad not to trip. He missed it now, and being in this dark world made him very afraid. He hated to admit it, but he missed Blaine and if he thought he could get back to the shelter without some creature of the night stalking him, he'd be walking there now. Except he didn't know which way he should go to find it. He was screwed.
Two nights later, Blaine was sleeping wrapped in the heavier of the two blankets. After returning to the shelter he had easily followed Kurt's footprints until he reached the rocky ground. With his stomach tied in knots, he'd looked over the edges of the cliff, afraid each time of finding Kurt's crumpled body at the bottom of the steep rocks. He kept it up, calling to him the whole time, until it was too dark to see. He found his way back to the shelter and lit the fire, praying that Kurt might hear its warm crackling or smell it and come back.
After maybe a half-hour of sleep, Blaine was awake again. He stirred the fire and once again went over the events of that afternoon. He did kiss Kurt first, that much he remembered clearly. Then Kurt had knocked him over backwards off the log they had been sitting on. Also very clear in his mind. It was after that when things got cloudy. He thought Kurt had kissed him back – and indeed pressed himself against Blaine's body. Could it be that he had misinterpreted the whole thing? Had Kurt been fighting to make him stop and just knocked him over in his exuberance to get away? Being freshly blind, his balance might still be precarious. Blaine shook his head. He needed to find Kurt, to fix this mess he'd gotten himself into in any way possible. They needed to feel safe together, they needed each other, and Blaine was terrified that he'd screwed that up.
The next day Blaine went over the beach below the rocky cliffs, looking in caves and behind rocks, wanting to find Kurt but so afraid he might find his lifeless body instead. He wondered if he had found food to eat, water to drink. Did he trip and fall, breaking his leg and was now too weak to shout for help? Had he been shouting for so many hours that he had lost his voice? Where was he?
The next night, Blaine got up and walked around the fire again. He'd made a torch out of coconut fiber on a bamboo stick, but it burnt too quickly and he was left in the dark and had to find his way back to the shelter by feel.
In the dark. Kurt was always in the dark now, due to Blaine's inability to fix him. Wasn't that what doctors did? Fix people? But Blaine was just a poor excuse for a doctor, he couldn't fix Kurt at all. Then visions of Brooke filled his mind: the skinny little blue-eyed girl who was braver than anyone Blaine had ever met. She had whispered in his ear that she wanted to talk to him when her parents and grandparents were out of the room. She was due for her chemo in the morning and he'd thought she was in need of a pep talk. She'd had several rounds of the chemo and knew the side effects: nausea, pain, stomach cramps, headaches – but mostly the gut-wrenching nausea. He had thought she might be afraid, and he had stayed with her the last time and held her for hours while her small body jerked and shook with the effects of the poison.
This time she wanted him to do something different.
Blaine was almost asleep, his dreams of Brooklyn flooding his brain as he nodded off. Little Brooke. His failure. The reason he didn't work at New York Metro Hospital any more. He'd resigned before they could fire him, running to the shelter of St. Thomas and his friend, Wes, before they could tell him he shouldn't be a doctor. He found that he liked the ER on St Thomas. There were a team of doctors and since he was the newest, he just did what the others told him. Very safe. Until he found Kurt Hummel crouched on the floor in a full-blown panic attack. And he fell in love, holding him the way he had once held Brooklyn...wanting to make him well and safe and content. He wanted Kurt to be his.
There was a noise in the trees by the shelter, but Blaine was sound asleep after another day and night of searching. Kurt called out to him, but his voice was soft and the sleeping man didn't stir. Thinking Blaine must still be gone, Kurt stumbled over to the fire and past the heat to the shelter. He started to lie down and found Blaine with his hands, asleep and wrapped in the blanket. Kurt, exhausted and chilly, pulled a corner of the blanket loose from Blaine's grip and wrapped it around himself as well as he could. He laid his head on Blaine's chest to listen to the heartbeat of another human being and fell asleep.
Blaine woke up and felt warm arms around him, a silky head of hair and a damp face pressed into his chest. He breathed a sigh of relief. Kurt had come back. It didn't matter why or on what conditions, Blaine was ready to give the boy anything if he would just stay. He ran a tentative hand across Kurt's muscled back, the soft pale skin warm to the touch and so alive. Blaine looked up to thank whomever was in charge for leading this boy back to him. He would take better care of him, not crowd him or demand things the boy wasn't ready for. He would provide food and water and shelter, warmth and companionship and support for his fears. He, Blaine Devon Anderson, MD, would do his best to be what Kurt needed until he could take him back to the father that loved him. He closed his eyes and whispered a quick amen before sinking back to the ground and relaxing, still holding this precious boy to his chest.
Blaine went back to sleep, but not so deep that he let go of Kurt. He felt his back, so cool to the touch, and tugged the blanket out from underneath them so he could cover the boy properly. He could see how skinny he'd become in just three days and wondered if he'd eaten at all. Blaine decided he did not appear to be dehydrated as he pinched the skin on the back of his hand to check.
Kurt slapped at his hand, probably thinking it was an insect biting him. Kurt was restless, but didn't let go of Blaine while he jerked in his sleep, moaning pitifully once as if his heart was broken, then after a while a slow smile graced the pink lips. Blaine wondered what he was dreaming about, but was reluctant to wake him. He had no idea how much sleep the boy had lost in his flight from the shelter.
Kurt finally blinked his eyes open, shaking his head just a little and closing them again. Blaine gave a moment's thought of sorrow that Kurt was waking up because he wanted the boy to be close to him, to lie in his arms forever. Blaine smiled down as the boy opened his eyes once more, focusing on Kurt's face.
"Are we...can I...is it all right if...?" Kurt tried to form a sentence, but Blaine could see how weak and confused he was and placed a finger on his lips.
"Don't talk yet. You're fine, but I want to get you something to drink and then eat before you try to talk. Okay?" Blaine asked, hoping Kurt wouldn't fight him over this simple request. He didn't look as if he'd had a bite to eat in those days. He laid Kurt down on the thick blanket, covering him with the thin one Kurt had brought back. He got a young coconut and opened it with practiced ease and poured the resulting liquid into a cup. He held it to Kurt's mouth and watched as his Adams apple went up and down as he swallowed the coconut water. His heart gave a sudden jump in his chest and Blaine had to look away before his body started to react.
"Better?" Blaine asked and Kurt nodded.
Blaine busied himself with putting some food together: a half of a fish he'd cooked last night, several bananas, a crab he'd managed to catch and some coconut meat. It was what they had most days, but Kurt ate it as if it were fit for royalty. It wasn't until he was half done with the crab that he tilted his head up as if he were looking at Blaine and blushed deep red.
"I...forgot. Would you like this? I don't hear you eating. Did you give me your whole breakfast?" He guessed. A frown wrinkled his brow and Blaine rushed to assure him that he didn't want anything just yet. Coffee was cooking and he would wait for that.
Kurt finished every morsel of food Blaine had set in front of him, then felt for any crumbs.
"Did you eat at all when you were gone?" Blaine asked, trying in vain not to sound worried.
"Yeah, a bit of the fish I took from camp. I found some coconuts, but they were old and the flesh was dried out. I didn't know how to crab or fish, although I had two lines and hooks with me. I guess I'm pretty much a failure once again. Listen, Blaine, if there are no hard feelings...I just kinda want to lie down for a while before you start telling me what an ass hat I was. I'll try not to ever do anything like that again. I have no idea what came over me, must have been heatstroke or something?"
"That depends...do you mean running away or do you mean what happened just before?" Blaine asked. He looked at Kurt's face for any clue to what the boy was feeling, but it seemed Kurt was aware that while he couldn't see Blaine's face, Blaine could see his and he had his expression set in a neutral facade so the doctor wouldn't have the advantage of being able to read his emotions painted all over his face.
"Ah...well, I'm not sure I want to revisit that...catastrophe right now. I just meant since I tried to go away and leave you. I felt so bad, and I thought you probably wouldn't want me here when you got back. I mean...what I did was so...ah...bad...and you...ran..." Kurt mumbled, clearly not able to make a coherent sentence. Blaine felt a wave of pity work its way into his consciousness and before he'd given it thought, he found himself holding Kurt's hand and offering him solace.
"Don't worry about that now. I'm sure we can discuss it later. I'm neither upset nor angry about anything that happened then. I was just so scared that something could happen to you. I know you're self-reliant and all, but you are not used to navigating in a blind world and you didn't even take matches with you," Blaine said, glossing over the kissing incident so as not to upset Kurt further.
"I couldn't get a fire started. Not that it mattered because the only food I found didn't taste very good. I drank the water from the spring. Now I'm full, thanks to you, and so tired. Is it okay if I sleep for a little while? I'll get up and help with whatever needs to be done in a while, okay?" Kurt asked, his face finally showing how tired and drained he really was.
"Oh, Kurt...here, just lie down and I'll cover you up. Is it okay if I take a nap with you? I'm pretty tired myself. Its been a rough few days," Blaine said softly and Kurt smiled his answer.
"You were worried about me?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah, I was. I looked all over...and every minute I was so scared I'd find your lifeless body from where you had fallen from the cliffs or something. Please, Kurt, don't ever scare me like that again. Please. Next time let's talk it out," Blaine asked, his voice catching. Kurt closed his eyes, not wanting Blaine to see how much it affected him.
"Yeah, we can talk. I really didn't mean to scare you. I didn't start off to do it to scare you, I thought you didn't want me," Kurt whispered.
"I was scared, that's why I ran. I thought I'd upset you and that I had done something wrong. I wasn't angry with you, Kurt, only with myself," Blaine admitted. For not talking about it, they sure were talking about it. Blaine reasoned that they needed to bring it out in the open if they wanted to resolve it, otherwise it would fester and they would have more misunderstandings.
"I'm sorry. I...just thought I could be okay alone. I wasn't. I missed you."
"I missed you, too, Kurt Hummel."
Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes. He knew Kurt couldn't see him, but his eyes were just like Brooklyn's: as if he could see the ocean in them.
"Kurt, your eyes are like the ocean," Blaine said, forgetting where he was for a moment. Kurt stiffened and looked where he thought Blaine's face was, then closed his eyes tightly.
"Oh, no, Kurt...let me see them. Please?" Blaine asked, feeling sad that Kurt was withdrawing again.
"Why?" he asked. "It's not fair that you can see mine and I can't see yours, is it?"
"No, I guess not. But your eyes are so beautiful, can't I look at them for a just a minute more?" Blaine almost whined. "They look like..."
"What? A summer's day? I've heard that before. No, they are just a crazy mix of the colors French Impressionist painters used. My mother told me that. She called it 'glasz'," Kurt laughed. He was embarrassed that anyone would find his eyes so interesting.
"Oh, she's right. What I see is the ocean when its calm and serene, not choppy waves but smooth as glass with little bits of golden sunshine glinting off the water. Then when you're in a bad mood, or if you're sad, your eyes resemble a stormy dark ocean, the water reflecting an angry sky about to let loose with a thunderclap and torrents of rain," Blaine said, the scene that came to his mind playing in his head.
"Wow, you really are full of bullshit, aren't you? All that because you want to kiss me?" Kurt said, then clapped his hand over his mouth, wishing he could take it all back because it was not what he wanted to say to this man, no matter that he was thinking it all along.
Blaine laughed, but Kurt hid his face in his hands and turned away. He was feeling for the edge of the bed so he could get up to go sit somewhere else when he felt Blaine's hand in his.
"Hey, Kurt. Its okay. Don't be embarrassed, I was really trying to tell you what I was thinking. You do have breathtakingly beautiful eyes. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to kiss you," he revealed softly, rubbing his thumb absently against Kurt's knuckles as he held his hand. Kurt didn't try to take the hand back, he squeezed Blaine's just a bit tighter.
Kurt was still for a few moments, then he whispered something so low that Blaine didn't catch it.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" he asked, concentrating on what Kurt had said, looking intently at his pink lips.
"I said, 'Then go ahead and kiss me'. I'm of age, I haven't really been kissed by anyone else ...I'd like to have my first romantic kiss," Kurt whispered, his face blushing once again, "One where I don't run away."
Blaine hesitated for a brief second, then he kissed Kurt's lips in a gentle, tender touch. Kurt could feel the warmth and softness, but he could also imagine the strength and heat that those lips could unleash. When Blaine started to pull back, Kurt's arms wrapped around his neck and held the doctor in place while he kissed back, a little harder and accompanied by a quiet moan from the back of Kurt's throat: a low sound that made Blaine's cock harden and his heart beat faster. He pulled back before he lost his mind all together and took more than Kurt was willing to give.
Leaning back on his elbows, Blaine looked at Kurt. He saw his lips flushed a dark pink and wondered if other parts of his anatomy were that same color of rosy pink. The swelling in Blaine's pants began to grow bigger and he was glad Kurt couldn't see him right now. Kurt put out his hand, as if he wanted Blaine to come back and whined a soft little sound.
"Blaine? Was that okay? Can we do it again?" he pleaded and Blaine could not deny the beautiful boy. He took his wrist and used it to guide Kurt's hand to his cheek. "I'm right here, Kurt."
They kissed for a good fifteen minutes, quite enough for the first time, before Kurt felt Blaine's tongue lick wet and warm against his lower lip. Before he could think what that meant, he felt Blaine's tongue enter his mouth and brush lightly across his own tongue. His cock jerked at the feeling, getting harder with increased interest as Blaine kissed Kurt in this new way. Kurt decided he liked this.
"Is this okay, Kurt? Do you want me to stop? You only have to say so and..." Blaine started to say.
"Ah...no! I mean yes...No, I don't want to stop. If you like it, too. Blaine, it just feels so right, so...so good. Can we do it some more?" he asked politely.
"Yeah, I like it, too. Are you comfortable?" Blaine asked and Kurt wriggled closer to this sexy man, ready to kiss him again.
Blaine let himself go, his tongue searching Kurt's mouth: soft and warm, and loving all the little noises and sighs Kurt made. It was only a short time before Kurt gathered the courage to lick his way into Blaine's mouth and his moans grew louder.
"Hey, slow down, Kurt. We have all the time in the world...let's rest for a few minutes, okay?" Blaine asked, knowing he was getting too excited. He had only had a few steady dates over his years in college and they had never been in the category of serious lovers. They were more close friends who went far enough, then backed off for one reason or another, mostly on friendly terms. Blaine had dated a few girls, but sex had never really been a question with any of them. Blaine found out after just a few kisses and touching that girls were not what he wanted in life. For the most part, he was so busy with college and medical school that there was no time for romance, and being a doctor was even worse. He still had friends from Dalton, but they didn't do a lot of hanging around together until Wes had asked him to come to St. Thomas.
Blaine was lying on the blanket in the shelter, watching Kurt as he curled up into himself. He looked either frightened or upset and Blaine was confused at what he had done to make Kurt feel like that.
"Kurt?" he said softly, taking the boy's hand in his. Kurt turned quickly, facing Blaine with his neutral mask pasted on his face. "What's the matter?"
Kurt shrugged his shoulders.
"Ah...we agreed to talk when there was a misunderstanding, right? Please tell me why you're upset," Blaine asked. He sat up and gently tugged Kurt closer, making sure he was okay with it, and helped the boy to sit in his lap. He put his arms around him and kissed his hair.
"I'm sorry, Blaine. Did I...did I do something wrong?" he asked, his face a picture of misery.
"What makes you think that?"
"You stopped kissing me...I thought you liked it. I did. Was I too...I don't know, did I do it wrong?" Kurt asked, his voice so soft that Blaine had to lean close to hear him.
"Oh, Kurt, believe me when I say you did nothing wrong. No, it was..." Blaine took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts. He wanted to tell Kurt, but he wasn't sure how much Kurt understood about things. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound his grandmother used to say.
Kurt was still looking towards him, though his eyes were unfocused, and Blaine took his hand.
"Kurt, it wasn't anything you did wrong," he started again. "It was more that you were so good, so right. You made me feel things I haven't felt in a very long time and I needed to stop and sort out my feelings before we went any further. Do you understand?"
"Yeah. You were...disappointed in me. Well, don't worry about it. I have a thick skin, it would take more than that to hurt my feelings. I'm fine," Kurt said, but his voice caught and Blaine thought he heard the beginning of a sob.
"No...no, Kurt. To be blunt, you were getting me too excited and we hadn't even talked about anything like that yet and I was trying to slow things down before I went too far," Blaine tried to explain, but Kurt pushed Blaine's chest and gave him an angry frown.
"You don't have to be mean, you don't have to tease me. I get it. I may be a kid in your eyes, but I understand when I'm the butt of the joke, blind or not," he said and Blaine grabbed his wrist before he could get up. He led Kurt's hand down to his crotch and laid the boy's hand on his achingly hard erection. Kurt froze.
"I wasn't teasing you, Kurt. I meant what I said, you felt so good to me I knew I had to stop," Blaine said in a softer voice, searching Kurt's face for his reaction before the boy could put his neutral mask back on.
Blaine shouldn't have worried, Kurt was too shocked to do any such thing. He let his hand fall to the ground, his face showing his surprise and his mouth working until he was able to speak: "I did that to you?"
"Yes, Kurt, you did," Blaine said, not sure where this was going from here.
"Oh...well...I'm..ah, sorry?" he muttered, turning his blushing face away, pushing at his own jeans with the heel of his hand to relieve the sudden pressure he was feeling and then blushed more.
"Kurt, there is nothing for either of us to be sorry about. We obviously wanted to kiss and we both obviously enjoyed it. Unless you have something...like, am I too old for you? I am about nine years older, does that bother you?" Blaine asked.
"No. I've always been more mature than most of the students in my classes. I had to grow up faster my dad says," Kurt told him, "I lost my mom when I was eight and I helped my dad with the house."
"Is there something else? Are you worried that when you can see again that I"ll be so ugly you won't want to be seen with me?" Blaine asked. Kurt giggled. His smile went right to Blaine's heart.
"No," Kurt answered. "I've been thinking about the day Dad got sick. I don't remember your face in all the turmoil – but I do kind of recall that you had dark curly hair that you tried to tame with the wrong product so it was sort of pasted down instead of tamed. And you were wearing pink and green plaid socks. With saddle shoes. Honestly, who wears that? When we get back home I'm going to have to get you a subscription to GQ or August Men's magazine – or a Burberry catalog at the least," Kurt laughed again. Blaine heaved a sigh of relief. Kurt was at least smiling and laughing now.
"I happen to like my socks. How did you remember those and not my face?"
"It was after I had the panic attack. I opened my eyes when you had your arms around me, telling me I was going to be okay. The way you said it, I believed you. I was so scared – I thought I was having a heart attack just like my dad and then you convinced me I was going to be okay. When you held me so close I stopped being scared and opened my eyes a little and saw your feet," Kurt said, shaking his head slowly. "Maybe I should have kept them closed. I might have had a relapse looking at those bright, ridiculous socks you know."
Blaine laughed, too, and not thinking he reached over and kissed Kurt on the cheek.
"Blaine?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we kiss again? I'll stop when you ask me to, but I really liked it," Kurt said. Blaine put his hands over his face. He knew if he was at home he would have said no, there was just no place for such a relationship – him a doctor and Kurt a teenager. It may be that the age of consent was sixteen, but in Ohio it was hard enough just to be an out gay man without adding the age difference. Here on this island, where he had no idea how long it might be before they were found or rescued, would it be okay? Was he taking some sort of advantage of Kurt? He didn't think so – Kurt seemed to want it even more than he did. Well, Blaine told himself that they would take it slow and see.
"Okay, Kurt. We can kiss," Blaine agreed, loving the bright smile that graced the boy's face when he heard it.
"Can we lay down together, just so its easier?" Kurt suggested. Blaine laughed.
"Yes. Now, come here."
They lay down on the blanket, Blaine leaning over Kurt as he teased the boy by just brushing his rosy lips feather-soft over his pink ones. Kurt sighed and put his arms around Blaine's neck to pull him closer.