You'll never have to
A/N: I hope the ensuing Molly rant fits to your liking. I tried my best but I don't know what exactly Molly would do in this situation, but I think I was pretty close. Enjoy!!
"HARRY JAMES POTTER AND NYMPHADORA TONKS!!! WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU ARE DOING?!!!" Molly couldn't believer her eyes. The sight that she saw was just too much. Harry Potter, who was practically a son to her, was lying naked with another woman…in the same bed! And with Nymphadora no less. The outrage of it all, she just couldn't believe it.
Harry let go of Tonks' pert nipple and rested his cheek against her bosom, "Nymmie?" His voice was barely above a whisper, loud enough for Tonks to hear him and soft enough so Molly didn't.
"Yes Harry?" Tonks spoke in that same whisper that Harry used. Her legs were still wrapped around him, her hands still running through his hair.
"Did Mrs. Weasley just enter our room?" Harry thought he had heard her, thought he had seen the flaming red hair of one Mrs. Weasley, but he was praying to every deity in the wizarding world that he was just imagining things.
"Yes Harry, she's here…" Tonks made the mistake of looking at Mrs. Weasley right at that moment. She saw that her lips were drawn in a thin line, that her foot kept making an irritable "tap, tap" noise, that her hands were bunched on her hips, her face the color of her hair, "…and it looks like she's mad about something"
"SOMETHING?!! YOU CALL THIS SOMETHING?!! DO YOU TWO HAVE ANY IDEA AS TO WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!! BOTH OF YOU GET DRESSED RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!" Molly was beyond furious at the actions that these two had just done. Could they not see how irresponsible they are!
Harry gave a small sigh as he heard the end of this tirade, "Mrs. Weasley…" was as far as he got before he was cut off.
"Don't even try to pass this off as nothing! You've heard all the excuses when you have seven children." Molly's voice had quieted down but there was still an edge to it.
"I was going to say that you, Mrs. Weasley, are like a mother to me. And that I don't think it's appropriate for a mother to see her sixteen year old boy starkers. Don't you agree, Mrs. Weasley?" Harry heard a very un-lady like snort coming from Tonks as she tried to stop from laughing. Harry refused to give in the urge to grin as he saw a number of emotions flash through Molly's face. First there was the anger, then joy at being referred to his mother, then shock and disgust, then anger again.
"I'll be down in the kitchen. If you're not down in five minutes, I will come back here whether you're dressed or not. Is that understood?" After seeing both of them nod their heads, she walked out the door, slamming it back on its hinges.
Tonks started giggling as soon as Molly left the room, unable to hold it any longer. The way she looked after what Harry said was just too much. Her laughter quieted down as she looked at the face of her lover. She saw that his brow was knitted together, a slight frown marring his handsome face. She reached a hand up and slowly ran it along his jaw, breaking him out of his reverie, "Okay there Harry?"
His face soon broke into a grin as he shook his head, "She can get mad all she wants, but it won't change a damn thing." he shuffled his body up, causing a small moan to rise from Tonks. He nuzzled her neck lovingly and kissed a trail from her neck to her ear. He whispered softly, "Is five minutes enough time."
Tonks shook her head and she could practically feel the frown on his face. She traced the shell of his ear with her tongue and whispered, "No, but like you said, she can get mad all she wants. I think that a few more minutes can't do any more harm." As soon as she finished, she felt Harry starting up again, making her smile and sigh contently.
(Downstairs in the kitchen)
It was some thirty minutes later that they came down. They heard Molly knocking on the door, but due to some locking charms on Tonks part, she wasn't able to get in. So it's needless to say that when they did show up at the kitchen table, with Harry's shirt not buttoned up properly, and with Tonks sporting some very impressive hickies, they caught the attention of everyone at the table. Mrs. Weasley couldn't seem to decide on what to do, either gape like a fish out of water or to shout at the top of her lungs. Ron was doing a pretty good imitation of his mother, while Hermione put two and two together and then started blushing like mad. Ginny meanwhile was staring at Tonks and if looks could kill, Tonks would have died five times before she could hit the ground.
"Sorry, we're late Molly. Harry and I just lost track of time." Without paying attention to what her statement could have met, Tonks sat down on one of the free chairs, muttering about bacon and eggs. Harry chuckled softly to himself and sat down right next to Tonks, discreetly putting his right hand on her thigh as he piled his plate with food.
"You lost track of time…" Molly said this quietly, almost to herself, but it was so quiet in the kitchen that everyone could hear. Her face began to turn as red as her hair, "YOU LOST TRACK OF TIME?!! WHAT COULD YOU HAVE POSSIBLY DONE TO MAKE YOU LOSE TRACK OF TIME?!!
"Well you see Mrs. Weasley, when two people…" was as far as Harry got before Remus came walking through, soot covering his torn robes, suggesting he just came out of the floo system.
Remus looked over each person at the table, taking special note of Molly's loud yells and the tussled look that Harry and Tonks were sporting, along with the death glares, blushing and open mouths that everyone else had, "So she found out, didn't she Harry?"
Harry swiveled his head so fast, he thought it was gonna fall off, "Can you repeat that…one more time, Moony?" Harry thought he had heard wrong, Remus couldn't have known about him and Tonks. They never did anything in public, they had locked the doors and everything…Harry groaned and slapped his hand to his forehead as he finally realized how Remus figured it out, "Moony, a question?"
Remus had a wide and knowing smile on his face, "I'm all ears, Cub."
"Can you smell and hear like a werewolf all the time?" Just seeing Moony smirk was enough to give Harry his answer. He turned to look at Tonks and saw that she had come to the same conclusion as him. They either smelled like each other, he could smell that they had sex, or he heard them.
"A word to the wise Harry, invest in silencing charms." Remus started to snicker and guffaw, but one look from an irate Molly Weasley shut him up.
"REMUS!! YOU KNOW AND YOU DIDN'T BOTHER TO SAY ANYTHING?!! REMUS HOW COULD YOU?!! YOU ARE AN ADULT AND YOU SHOULD KNOW FULL WELL THAT HARRY SHOULDN'T BE DOING…" she stopped momentarily to look at the other children around the table, "THAT HE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT!!"
"Jeez mate, what did you do? I've never seen mum so angry before, not even when she was yelling at the twins." Ron looked at Harry with awe and fear in his eyes; awe for doing something that not even the twins had done, fear because he didn't want to know what the hell it is that he did to get his mum so angry.
As Harry was about to answer, Hermione decided to put in her two cents, "Harry, how could you think of doing that?" She spoke in a harsh whisper, trying in vain to make Harry feel guilty.
Turning to Hermione, Ron asked, "You know what he did? Hey Harry, how come she knows and I don't? I thought I was your best mate?"
Harry just smirked and said, "I'll tell you when you're older," pointing to Ron. Then Harry turned to Hermione, "and just why are my sleeping arrangements so important to you?" Harry laughed inwardly as he saw the flustered face of one of his best friends.
"It's—it's just indecent Harry." Hermione had lost her flustered face and had replaced it with her teacher face, sensing that this was a perfect opportunity to give a lecture. She was cut short as Ron, finally pieced things together.
"DID YOU TWO SHAG?!!" Ron, bless his soul had finally used that brain of his, but his mouth wasn't working right and he said this just a little bit too loud, halting the ranting of a Molly Weasley towards a certain werewolf.
"RONALD BILLIUS WEASLEY!! YOU WILL NOT SAY SUCH FOUL LANGUAGE!! NOW ALL OF YOU GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!" Harry and Tonks tried to make their leave with the rest of them, but were tugged by the scruffs of their neck, back down into their seats.
"Now…" Molly's voice was barely above a whisper, but Harry and Tonks had no problems hearing her, "…you two will explain yourselves. And you had better do a damn good job of explaining."
Harry looked from Molly to Remus, Remus to Tonks, Tonks to Remus, and finally Remus to Molly. Sensing that there was no possible way out of this, Harry settled in for the long haul of the ranting of one Molly Weasley.
"Okay, it all started with…"
A/N: Muhahahahahahaha!! The next chapter will pick up right where this one left off. It'll be a flashback chapter where Harry explains how him and Tonks started dating, and eventually slept with each other. Muhahahahaha!! Until next time, fellow fanfictioneers.