AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, after re-reading that last chapter, I want to get a few things cleared up. First of all, the dream scene ended exactly where I cut it off. Karkat did not actually see the dark side of his mind win. Second, you are probably asking 'why does Kanaya always appear at the most opportune times?' She has something like a… sixth sense about him, like she knows he's going to do something. Finally, what's with all of the time jumps between chapters? Each jump takes the story to a point on the timeline where an important event happens. If it's confusing, YOU DO READ HOMESTUCK! It shouldn't be. Enjoy and review!-Manic-Catastrophe

Kanaya released Karkat's hand once the elevator's doors were closed and the descent had begun. She was not going to take any chances now. Fortunately, Karkat made no attempt to get away from her. Instead, he stood with his face pressed to the cold glass, as if trying to escape the tirade to come. He knew that he had disappointed Kanaya, and through her, Rosa, and that made him feel more miserable than ever before. Now that he had people that cared enough to be disappointed, he wanted nothing less than to do so.

She wanted to speak, feeling his misery grow, but she could find no words to say. Fortunately, she didn't have to break the silence.

"I'm so sorry, Kanaya." Karkat's voice was muffled against the glass, but still understandable. "I don't deserve to be with you. You're so much better than me."

With the silence broke the block in Kanaya's mind, allowing her to speak again, "Karkat, don't talk like that. It's not true. I'm no better than you."

"Really? I don't see you trying to jump off the building now, do I?'

"Karkat," Kanaya groaned, "You know what I mean."

"I'm serious. I look at you and I see someone that, no matter how hard I try, I can never be who you need me to be…" he trailed off again. While you're everything I could ever want.

"And what? What were you going to say after that?"

"It's not important, okay. Just meaningless ramblings."

"Karkat, stop it! This whole thing happened because you wouldn't open up! Just tell me!"

He looked at her resignedly, "Alright. I can't be what you need me to be, and it's unfair because you're everything that I could ever want."

"Was that so hard? Was it so difficult to say? There's no need for you to just hide any positive emotion you feel. And you are wrong, Karkat."

"What?"

"You're wrong about you not being enough for me. You love me, and that's enough. Unless you were lying to me about that too." As soon as she said it, Kanaya knew she had gone too far.

Karkat winced, seemingly shrinking in on himself. Good job dumbass. You destroyed whatever trust she had in you. "No," he whispered, as if trying to deny it to himself, "I wasn't lying about that. I love you Kanaya. I really do." He grabbed fistfuls of his hair and pulled, desperately hoping for something he thought was no longer possible. "I love you, I love you, I love you, Kanaya. I would rather go back up to the roof and jump off than lose you. You mean everything to me."

Kanaya stepped over to him and gently loosened his grip on his hair. "I'm sorry, Karkat, it just slipped out."

He batted her hands away and covered his face with his. "Don't apologize, Kanaya. I'm the one that should be apologizing." His hands made fists and he began beating himself around the head, "I'm just so stupid!"

"Karkat! Stop it!" Kanaya caught one of his arms, then the other. They struggled for a moment before he finally conceded. "You can't treat yourself like this."

He dropped his arm to his sides and looked down. "Why not? It's all I'm good for."

"Karkat, just stop it! You won't get any better if you keep thinking like that. It's not true!" She grabbed his chin and made him look in her eyes. "It. Is. Not. True." She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, shocked by how hard he was shaking. He's so cold.

Fortunately, the elevator chimed and the doors opened. Kanaya released Karkat and they both walked back to their apartment. Karkat unlocked the door, he and Kanaya both slipping inside.

"I don't think Rosa has meetings today, does she?" Karkat whispered.

"No. That means she'll be up in…" Kanaya looked at the clock on the stove. It read 6:04 A.M. "About two hours. Do you want to go back to sleep?"

"No, I don't think I could. My heart's still racing."

"I can't either." She sat down on the couch and then patted the seat next to her, inviting him to sit down. He sat, but on the other couch, and removed his jacket. "Oh, come on, Karkat. Sit over here." He stayed where he was for a moment, and then got up and sat on her couch, though he still was a few feet away. Heaving a massive sigh, she scooted over to sit right next to him, their arms touching. "Karkat, do you want to be alone?"

He looked at her instantly, face going pale, "No…" he whispered in horror.

"Because you're acting like you want to be." He stiffened, his back becoming straight as an arrow. "When someone offers you the seat right next to them, you should take it."

"Oh… sorry." He made no excuses for his behavior, he never had. Kanaya felt a strange mixture of respect and pity for him.

His dad probably beat the excuses out of him a long time ago. "Also, when you're sitting next to your girlfriend…"

"Oh, right… sorry." He put his arm around her shoulder, his skin cold on hers. She could feel the ridges on his arms. Pressed into the back of her neck was the worst one: the stab wound. It was two inches long and a quarter of an inch wide, but it was raised nearly half an inch above the surface. The doctors had told him that it probably would never fully fade, seeing as it was also a burn scar. The memory of getting it was seared into his mind.

"Karkat, you don't need to apologize for every little mistake that you make."

"Oh, sor- okay." They went silent, neither having anything to say. Just being around each other was enough. Karkat's stomach tied itself into a tighter and tighter knot as the time marched inexorably towards 8:00, the time Rosa got up on the Saturdays she didn't have work.

Eventually, the time came. Footsteps came down the hallway and Karkat braced himself for what was to come. Kanaya gripped his hand to calm him, and he was surprised when it actually worked.

"Good morning kids. What are you doing up so early?"

Karkat and Kanaya looked at each other. "Well…"

"I think that went well, under the circumstances." Kanaya tried to keep a positive outlook at all times, but Rosa's reaction had clearly tested her.

"You think?" Karkat's voice was slightly hoarse.

They had wasted no time in telling Rosa what had taken place on the roof. She had stumbled into a chair before responding. It was very similar to what Kanaya had been expecting, although Karkat was floored. She had not yelled. She did not go hysterical. Instead, she got up out of her chair and nearly suffocated Karkat. She was hugging him that hard. He made no move to get her to let go. Kanaya had to when she saw Karkat's face turning blue.

Karkat had been half expecting her to go into a fit of rage and send him packing, so her response left him speechless. Then, Kanaya pulled up his shirt to reveal the cuts he had made on his stomach. Rosa had questioned him about how long that had been going on and admonished him to stop, saying, "Your dad liked to do that. That's not something you will be doing anymore, alright?" Karkat had agreed, still surprised at her lack of hysteria.

Then came the questions. So many questions. Karkat had already answered most of them with Kanaya, but the constant talking left his throat sore. Eventually, Rosa had gotten up and given him another enormous hug. "Remember, talk to us when you need to. Don't go and… carve yourself up." She shuddered, "Don't hide your emotions. You shouldn't wear your heart on your sleeve, but don't deny your own needs to not add to ours. We can take it. That's what we're here for."

"Alright… thank you, Rosa. For everything."