Here's another chapter. I see some people don't find this one funny so here I say. I don't care. It is supposed to be random and is really stupid in all aspects of the story. That's all.
"Yeah, for those of you stupid people who have not yet changed the channel, we are back." Alex said from the ruins of his desk.
"Yeah you lucky people who are still watching." Elphaba said smiling in her seat again. Boq now showed himself for the first time since last commercial break and looked out at the audience.
"What are you afraid of Boq?" Glinda asked him turning her attention off of the floor.
"Her." Boq said pointing at Elphaba who didn't seem to be listening to anyone, but Fiyero talking beside her.
"Yes, well she scares most people." Glinda said rolling her eyes and motioning for Boq to take his seat again. He walked out onto the camera again and took his seat next to Glinda. As soon as he did the row of men wearing pink stood up and cheered for him. They did a small wave and then sat back down.
Elphaba looked around and found that all their commotion was for Boq and she smiled. Fiyero laughed out loud at this and covered his mouth with his hand immediately afterward.
"What is that about?" Alex muttered.
"I bet they're a bunch of gay guys who came because they like Boq." Fiyero whispered to Elphaba who laughed slightly and then smirked.
"Or who like you." He glared at her as she said this and then turned away. The men in pink stood up and walked down the center aisle in a procession. The stopped just in front of Boq.
"What the hell is going on?" He asked. They smiled at him and Glinda screamed at their creepy looks they threw at Boq.
Boq jumped up and ran off stage. He was quickly followed by the men who ran much faster than he was. Fiyero was in a fit of laughter by the time they were all off the stage.
"He is so in trouble."
"They are so creepy." Glinda said glancing down at Elphaba who had a smirk on her face. Then the side stage door burst open and a man in a mask covering half of his face ran inside closing the door behind him. He turned and seemed stunned at the sight of the room.
"Hello." Elphaba chimed brightly from her chair as Alex looked around for some type of explanation for this.
"Bonjour." He said leaping onto the stage and running behind Elphaba' s chair and crouching down.
"What are you hiding from?" Elphaba asked him turning to look down at him behind her chair.
"You don't want to know."
"If I didn't want to know I wouldn't ask." He glared up at her and then sat down on the stage floor behind her chair. Fiyero looked him over curiously while Glinda cowered back in her chair.
"No, you really don't want to know him."
"Look masked guy, I'm asking so I want..."
"Erik."
"What?"
"My names not 'masked guy' it's actually Erik."
"Fine whatever. I still want to..." Just then the same stage door burst open again to reveal another man there. This one didn't look as intimidating as Erik did. In fact he didn't look like he could fight a slug and win.
"Damn." Erik whispered shrinking behind the chair.
"You're needed at the studio." The man called. Erik spoke now, but his voice was coming from behind the man.
"My dear Fop de Changy I will not return to that torture chamber they call a television show."
"What do they do on this show?" Elphaba asked him quietly while the man twirled around in circles looking for him.
"Some stupid came about daring us and us daring each other."
"That's what this is about." Erik looked over at the broken desk and Alex sitting atop it.
"You seem to be having fun." Just at that moment Boq ran out of the backstage area screaming. The men in pink followed close behind him. He ran past the man who was generally confused and then was swept away by the mass of pink.
"Thank god for them. Erik said sitting up to let his head came up In between Elphaba's and Fiyero's. "So, you know my name, what of yours?"
"I'm Elphaba, that is Fiyero, Glinda, that blonde, and Gregory." Erik nodded at each as they were introduced and then looked towards the camera. A guard shut the door, but not before a certain Weirder had snuck back in. She moved quickly to the front row and took an empty seat that had been vacated when Glinda finally scared them off.
Elphaba's head turned at the movement and her eyes found Weirder again. "Oh, crap." She muttered. At this Erik looked up and saw the girl she was looking at.
"What?"
"This time you don't want to know."
"I have a feeling I'll find out." He said as Weirder stood up and ran back up on stage. She looked over the people on the stage again and then stopped as she reached Elphaba's chair. She moved closer and smiled as she saw Erik.
"I know you."
"Oh my god. She is scary."
"Told you so." Erik stood up and backed away from the chair that separated him from Weirder.
"Yes, I know. So, are you though. You're the Phantom of the Opera." Elphaba looked up at him smirking and then down at Gregory.
"Another book?"
"And musical. Actually the longest running musical on Broadway."
"That's great."
"Yeah, well anyway I was wondering if I could have a magic lasso."
"What?" Elphaba said as Erik let out a sigh of relief.
"A magic lasso is also known as a noose and no you can't have one. Unless you want tit around your neck."
"What if I say I can have anything I want because the authoress is my best friend?"
"I would have to say I don't care."
"Really? Well then maybe she'll kill you. Will you?"
Now, you know as well as I do that I could not, nor would I harm Erik. I wouldn't harm Elphaba or Fiyero either. Boq yeah I totally would have no problem with though.
"Yeah. I knew that."
"Yes!" Elphaba shouted jumping from her chair in triumph. "Ha you lose weirdo!"
"I don't lose! Do I?"
Technically you do. Except for the fact that you know a lot more about Elphaba than she thinks you do.
"What?"
Yeah, you see Weirder and I have both read the book Gregory wrote.
"So?"
So, in it he tells us everything you did in your life. Including everything you did with Fiyero.
Elphaba's mouth dropped open and she slowly turned her head to glare at Gregory who fidgeted nervously in his seat.
"Yes! So I win. Ha!"
No, you don't win either.
"What?"
You nay have all that information, but I am in charge of the story. So, I won't do that to Elphaba or Gregory.
"That's stupid!"
You're stupid!
"Both of you shut up!" Elphaba screamed staring up at the ceiling looking for the authoress.
"Why don't you all shut up!" Gregory shouted at them all from his chair. Glinda put her head in her hands and shook it slowly back and forth. Fiyero's eyes darted back and forth from Weirder to Elphaba as the spoke in turn. Then when the authoress spoke he would look up at the ceiling as if expecting the authoress to be God. Alex sat on the ruins of his desk checking every second if it was any closer to the end of the show.
Erik neither did nor said anything. He stood to the back of the group and stood there. His amber eyes scanning the audience and scaring a few.
Really Erik wins because he's not in this stupid conversation and is not really in this show at all. He got away from his stupid show.
"Yes. I did."
A scream came from outside and everyone froze and looked at the window's of the studio.
"What the hell?"
"It wasn't me." Erik said instinctively. Everyone turned to look at him suspiciously except for Weirder who laughed at this.
"What is so funny?" Fiyero asked standing up and walking to the center of the stage to the green girl and the weird one.
"It's Boq. He screamed." Weirder said through her laughter falling to the floor in hysterics.
"How do you know?"
"Who else could it be?" Just then Raoul burst through the door at the left of the stage and ran across it. He was now wearing a pink shirt to match the men before. Obviously they had caught him. Boq then followed Raoul back on camera and they ran to the other side of the stage as the men in pink appeared. They chased them off the stage and back out the opposite door.
"What the hell is going on?" Weirder was now rolling around on the floor in hysterics as they ran out. Elphaba and Fiyero were completely stunned while Glinda and Gregory seemed to be staring into space. Erik too was laughing hard kneeling on the floor.
"This is great!" He said looking at the door the men in pink had just exited. Alex looked up at the laughter and then at the door.
"What the hell is going on?" He repeated Elphaba's question.
"Yes, really can someone explain." Elphaba asked. They then looked at Weirder who stopped laughing and looked up in silence. Well, silence except for Erik's laughter.
"Why are you looking at me? Why don't you ask the authoress?" Elphaba, Fiyero and Alex looked at the ceiling or glared at the ceiling still imagining the authoress as some god.
"Well?" They demanded together.
Why do you want me to tell you the secret?
"So we can know what's going on?" Elphaba stated taking charge of the conversation.
Why don't you figure it out on your own?
"Because I really don't feel like it right now!" Alex screamed at the ceiling angrily scaring some more audience members away.
Fine you bitter little...anyway the men in pink are all different and see that Boq and Raoul are different too.
"You couldn't have been any more vague!"
Thank you!
"Whatever just tell us."
"They're all fops! You idiots! They're all fops or foppish in some nature. That would explain the pink."
"Oh." Erik then burst out into more laughter and collapsed on the floor again, as did Weirder.
"Oh, my god. This just continues to get better."
"This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my whole life."
"No. I'm Weirder Than You."