Disclaimer: I do not own Wicked or Phantom if I did , well I would be somewhere else. I also do not own Weirder or Evanesce. They are real people weird but realy. Their weirdness makes them perfect for my story. If you do not like this stupidity, just keep it to yourself. Don't ruin my stupid fun. That's all.
"Alright since some idiots are still watching, we're back."
"Why wouldn't they want to watch?" Elphaba chimed in.
"Because you're here."
"All the more reason." Fiyero said happily.
"Just dare each other!" Alex screamed sitting on the ruins of his desk.
"What's the point?" Glinda asked sourly.
"Yes, really it makes no sense." Erik joined in from Boq's empty chair.
"What do you matter?" Alex retorted bitterly.
"What do you matter?"
"I'm the host of the show." He shouted standing.
Erik walked over to him until he was in his face.
"I'm the Phantom of the Opera!"
"So?"
"So, be afraid." He said snapping his noose in his face and making him back away. Alex backed right up to his desk and tripped over it falling backwards. "Oh yeah, this is fun."
"I told you." Elphaba said suddenly.
"You did?"
"I think."
"Alright I'll be the host now." Erik changed the subject smiling wickedly at the camera and audience.
"No, you won't!" Alex shouted jumping up and glaring at everyone around.
"Why not?"
"Because I said so! Now dare each other!"
"Alright..." Elphaba began grinning at the audience. " Can I dare Fiyero to pick me up and carry me out of this nuthouse to a land of magical 'fun'?"
"Magical fun?" Glinda asked looking curiously at her.
"Can I dare myself to do that?!?" Fiyero asked jumping up from his seat.
"No!" Alex answered.
"What are you talking about?"
"Glinda, magical 'fun'." Erik repeated to her.
"Oh!" Glinda said thinking for seconds then looking extremely disgusted as she realized what it meant. "Oh."
Erik smiled wickedly as he saw her face as Fiyero jumped up in the air.
"Elphie!"
"Glinda?"
"How could you?"
"I have to explain?"
"Please don't." Came Gregory's voice from the other end of the stage.
"No! You know what I mean!"
"Oh, Glinda, please."
"Can I?" Fiyero asked again with more excitement.
"Shut up, Fiyero!" Glinda screeched.
"Shut up, Glinda!"
"Silence!" Erik shouted causing everyone to freeze at the sound of his voice.
"So, can I?" Fiyero persisted.
"Yero, I was kidding."
"Well, I'm not."
"I don't care." Alex said from his desk.
"I do!" Erik chimed in.
"Why?" Glinda asked.
"Because then, my dear short blonde, I will be here with only you for company."
"Why does everyone hate me?" Glinda stood up and glared down the row of chairs at the others.
"Look at yourself! You're a pink ball of fluff." Erik replied when no one else would.
"So?"
"So, that and your unnatural perkiness is not attractive."
"So, wait, green skin, depressing views and conspiracy theories are?"
"Yes." Echoed Fiyero and Erik.
"What?"
"Nothing!"
"You said something!"
"No."
"You like me." Elphaba said smiling from her seat behind both Erik and Fiyero.
"No."
"Yes you do." She persisted standing up smiling still.
"No!"
"Yes you do!"
"What?"
"Oh god." Glinda sighed sitting back down.
"What is going on?"
"I don't like you!"
"Yes you do! You want me!"
"No!"
"Elphaba?"
"What?"
"Erik, just admit it."
"No!"
"You can't hide what's inside!" Weirder shouts out from her seat in the front row.
"Yes I can."
"Nope. Can't."
"Can!"
"Do you like me?"
"No!"
"Do you not not hate the fact that you can't hide your thoughts that you don't not hate me you really not not love me?"
"What?"
"How do you understand that?"
"Well I know you can't, Glinda."
"Yes?"
"Ha! I knew it!"
"Is that the question?"
"Yes, it was Yero."
"Oh, I mean no."
"Too late."
"What?"
"Well this has been fun. Now let's cut to commercial."
"No."
"Yes."
"I dare myself to pick up Elphaba and carry her out of this nuthouse to a land of magical 'fun'." Fiyero said excitedly.
"Yes!" Elphaba said.
"No!" Erik said as he punched Fiyero.
"Crap!" Glinda screamed as Fiyero said this and stumbled backwards.
"Cut to commercial." Alex said quickly. Fiyero then punched Erik back sending him stumbling back only slightly.
"Why it's just getting good."
"Cut!"
"Don't!"
"Why?" Weirder asked him from her seat watching the fight.
"It's getting too graphic." At this point Erik punched Fiyero's stomach and Fiyero punched him in the jaw knocking his mask off. Glinda screamed after seeing her face and ran behind a curtain.
"I think we should cut now!"
"Now would be good." Weirder chimed in.
"Holy crap." Elphaba exclaimed.
Erik Yelled angrily and slipped his noose around Fiyero's neck.
"Shit!" Elphaba said leaning forward.
"Cut now!"
"As much as I like violence," Weirder began leaning back in her seat relaxing. "I don't approve of this."
Erik then began to strangle Fiyero with the rope.
"Oh, shit!" She repeated jumping up and running over to break the rope's hold.
"This is really cool, though." Weirder said, Once again stating the obvious.
"Cut! Before we get canceled."
"Don't stop the film." The director ordered.
"Stop!" Elphaba screamed.
"Glinda runs out from backstage with her wand and begins hitting Erik over the head with it. Meanwhile, Evanesce appears out of nowhere next to Weirder and takes the vacant seat.
"So, what are you doing?"
"Watching the show?"
"Is that Erik?"
"Yep." Erik drops the rope and grabs the wand from her, which he then breaks in half. Glinda begins to cry like a little girl on the stage floor. Elphaba removes the rope from Fiyero's neck allowing him to breathe. Then holds it out threateningly between her, Fiyero and Erik.
"What are you doing with that?"
"What is it for?"
"Killing."
"Then that's what I'm doing with it."
"Who?"
"Who do you think?"
"I'd rather not say."
"It's you dude." Fiyero said smiling behind her.
"Shut it!"
"He's right, Erik."
"Stop!" Evanesce shouted walking up on stage between the group. "You drop the noose, you breathe normally and you," She picked up his mask from the floor and handed it back. "Put it on and continue to be awesome." All of them obeyed her words though they didn't know why.
Evanesce then picked up the noose and twirled it around her hand. "I'm keeping this."
"Why?" Weirder asked smiling.
"Why not?"
"Okay. Will you let me use it?"
"No!"
"Why?"
"You would kill your own brother."
"So?"
"So, no."
"Who would you kill?"
"Whoever I want."
"Who is that?"
"Guess."
"Your brother."
"No."
Think!
"I am!"
Well think harder!
"Shut up!"
"Think: stupid and moron."
"There are tons."
"Yes, but one that I would actually kill."
"Brad!"
Ding ding ding we have a winner.
"Well, this was fun I'll just..."
"Freeze." Evanesce commanded and he did.
She then pulls out a copy of the novel The Phantom of the Opera by Gatson Leroux and hands it to him.
"Sign it."
"What?"
"Sign your name."
"An autograph?"
"Yes."
"Why?" Elphaba questioned.
"Well because he's awesome."
"Ha! I'm awesome."
"So, I have Elphaba." Fiyero retorted.
"So I have..." He paused looking confused for a second.
"Evanesce." Evanesce told him.
"Evanesce. Yeah! What do I write with?"
"This!" Weirder screamed standing up and throwing a sharpie on stage hitting Evanesce with it.
"Yeah, thanks."
"No problem." Erik takes the sharpie and begins to write on the first page.
Evanesce- Thank you for stepping in when you did. If you hadn't who knows what I would've ended up doing. I am a little shocked to see you actually had the book on you here, but still I am flattered to be referred to as awesome. Your welcome for the noose and for killing anyone (Brad) you need little pressure. Especially if he's weak. Thank you again. I will remember your name, partially because I like it and partially because of your help.
-Erik(O.G.)
awesome."Merci." Evanesce said after reading his novel.
"Your welcome, Mon ami." Evanesce grinned and looked at Weirder who shrugged.
"What?"
"He spoke French."
"So?" Evanesce rolled her eyes at her friends disability to understand her excitement.
"My wand!" Glinda screamed still crying on the floor. "What do I do now?"
"Duct tape."
"It has a million uses and counting!"
"One use is to fix a wand." Erik said trying to help or at least shut up the crying blonde.
"Wand? It's a stick with a star on it." Elphaba said rolling her eyes at the blonde.
"It's not!" The blonde screamed and ran off the stage.
"Can we cut now?"
"Sure whatever." Elphaba said taking her seat followed by Fiyero then Erik who took Glinda's and Evanesce who sat in Boq's chair.
"Why are you here?" Gregory asked the girl now sitting next to him.
"I want to be."
"At least there's one."
"Two."
"Three."
"Four."
"Five!"
"Sorry I can't give you six. Now let's cut to a stupid commercial."