Hetalia House of Drama! Hiatus Chapter 11: A Factor! Part 2, a hetalia - axis powers fanfic

Back again! Whoop! We have another OC but she's joining Nelson's Eye Patch. I don't feel that a late OC can join in at this point in the competition when everyone else's had to survive for so long. So there.

WARNING: No one is supposed to be offended by The Stereotype Song, okay? It's just a laugh! Like I'm supposed to have crooked old teeth?

"Hello and welcome back to Hetalia: House of Drama!" Prussia beamed to the camera and the audience.

"We're now going to watch Wellington's Boots team sing!" KKB beamed, mainly because I forgot to put him in the audience. (He's the genius who made Runcorn!)

Canada, the camera-man, spun round so you could see the back of the judges' head but saw the act perfectly. (He was sat next to Nightingale-Wolf.)

"Okay, heads up, we changed the lyrics just like Prussia changed the lyrics for his song." Runcorn said coolly before putting his arm around some blonde, "And this is Wellington Boots ft. Liverpool singing Waterloo by ABBA!"

Back stage a certain musical nerd was jumping up and down.

"They're going to wreck us!" Vienna whispered to Alaska.

"We're a woman down. Now it's just us three!" Czech whispered on the other side of Alaska.

"It's fine. We'll be fine," Alaska said, and then saw the look on Vienna's face and then added "We're the awesome Napoleon Flip Flops, right? If we don't make it, do what Napoleon did, try again and if that fails, die with amazing-ness."

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE?" Vienna now began to panic big style.

"Hey, shut it. I want to hear this!" Paris hissed.

Stage...

"My, my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender." Liverpool sang, and then strummed his guitar like they do in ABBA.

"Oh yeah, and YOU have met your destiny in quite a similar way!" Runcorn sang in his brilliant singing voice that only Runcornians have.
"The history book on the shelf, is always repeating itself!" Copenhagen began to sing happily.
"Waterloo - You were defeated, I won the war. Waterloo - Promise to love me for ever more!" Dublin sang.
"Waterloo - Couldn't escape if you wanted to!" Vatican sang like an angel. (ilurrrverussia was nudging Jinxed-Wolfie to see if she had the same dirty thought)
"Waterloo - Knowing my fate is to be with you." Hawaii sang quite awkwardly. (They couldn't think of anything else).

"Waterloo - Finally facing your Waterloo!" They all sang together.

"My, my, you tried to hold me back but I was stronger
Oh yeah, and now it seems your only chance is giving up the fight
And how could you ever refuse
You feel like you win but you lose!" Wellington's Boots sang in harmony. (Well as much as they could).

Back stage...

"I'm really nervous!" Copenhagen squeaked to the OCs.

"Here, it'll cure your nerves." Moscow said softly, violet eyes shining, as he passed over a flask.

"Why thank you." Copenhagen blushed, taking the elixir.

"If I were you, I'd go to the loo so you don't need to wee in the middle of your song." Budapest whispered.

"Thank you!" Copenhagen said, fleeting to the bog.

"YOU TWO! I thought you were fans of Napoleon Flip Flops." Czech hissed to Budapest and Moscow.

"We are. But she needs it if she has to sing that song." Budapest shivered in his seat.

"And so will us. Drink up lads." Moscow said, raising his own flask. The boys glugged down in unison, all except Alaska who was drinking some water (because he's sensible).

On stage...

"Judges! What did you think?" Prussia asked to the panel.

"I thought it was a very imaginative use of the lyrics and the song! Hoff on, men! And women!" David Hassle Hoff beamed because he's a lovable American like that.

"I agree with David. Ever so funny! Way to put off your competition!" Michael McIntyre said in that lovely camp voice of his.

"It was absolutely exciting, darlings! But you could've put on some more flashy costumes, and a few dance moves other than Liverpool wiggling his bum." Louie Spence said in his oh-so-gay voice. "But it was some lovely wiggling!"

"Why, thank you Louie!" Liverpool said, imitating his voice before wiggling his bum.

"Well I hated it. I was expecting it and I was horrified. This is terrible." Simon Cowell said in that usual "I-couldn't-careless-about-how-you-feel-it's-the-truth" voice.

"I agree with Simon. And your guitar was off key." Austria added.

"Stop being lame!" Prussia growled at Austria and then continued in his awesome voice; "I would've given them the trophy."

"How do you guys feel about the feed-back?" KKB asked the team.

"I couldn't care less." Runcorn said plainly.

"My bum's a good wiggler!" Liverpool squealed excitedly.

"We'll have to make up for it with our other songs." Vatican said politely.

"Okay. Off you go. Give it up for WELLINGTON BOOTS!" KKB said, copying off Ant from Britain's Got Talent.

"Okay, now give it up for Copenhagen and the boys from Nelson's Eye Patch! They'll be singing 'Beowulf's Army Song' by... Beowulf's Army?" Prussia said in his cheesy voice and then lost it at the end.

(Italics are Copenhagen and bold is for the boys from Nelson's Eye Patch.)

There was a dozen virgins
Friesians, Danes and Franks
We took them for some swifan
And all we got were wanks

Oh, we are Beowulf's army
Each a mighty thane
We'll pummel your asses
And ravage your lasses
Then do it all over again

The fattest of the virgins
I knew her for a whore
I gave her all my codpiece
And still she wanted more

Oh, we are Beowulf's army
Each a mighty thane
We'll pummel your asses
And ravage your lasses
Then do it all over again

Her sister was from Norway
She cost me 20 groats
She showed me there was more ways
Than one to sow my oats

Oh, we are Beowulf's army
Each a mighty thane
We'll pummel your asses
And ravage your lasses
Then do it all over again

Her mother was from Iceland
And she was mighty hot
She'd need a whole damn iceberg
To cool her burning...

"I think we have to stop you there!" Prussia said in between laughs.

"That was amazing! Aren't you glad I suggested this?" KKB laughed, leaning on Prussia's shoulder.

"Judges?" They both said in unison and then bursting out into giggles like a bunch of school girls.

"Dudette, you rocked. And you look awesome wearing a Viking helmet." David Hassle Hoff chuckled.

"That was so funny!" Michael gasped before laughing again.

"That was amazing! The boys dancing at the back, brilliant! You all look gorgeous in those slutty Viking robs! I want one! And Moscow, you have lovely legs." Louie Spence complimented the team.

"That was horrible, yet hysterical." Austria said in a stern voice but then smiled.

"That was appalling. The Scandinavians must be crying right now. Seriously, Moscow's so tall that he stuck out like a sore thumb." Simon Cowell said. Suddenly, Simon Cowell was picked up and swung on to a certain country's shoulder and carried away into the unknowing darkness. Sweden.

"I was just about to..." Russia said glumly, water pipe in tow.

"Ahahahahahaha! That was brilliant!" Denmark laughed, fist-pounding Prussia and KKB before running to hug his little sister.

"That was good." Norway said to Copenhagen once Denmark left. The dirty blonde girl blushed.

"Alright, hurry off." KKB said, dragging everyone out with help from Russia.

"Next up is Dublin singing Going Out In Style by Dropkick Murphys." Prussia beamed. Suddenly loud laughing was heard from the audience.

"I'm sorry. You wouldn't understand!" ilurrrverussia giggled.

"Long story!" Jinxed-Wolfie spluttered. (Funny enough, the story is REALLY short….)

"Anyway, Dublin wants you to all join in since Southern Ireland, Northern Ireland and Belfast are too busy to join him." KKB rushed quickly.

(Okay, the audience joined in and I'm expecting everyone at home to join into too! COME ON! I don't care if you Irish or not, live a little!)

(Italics Dublin because the audience are singing anyway)

I've seen a lot of sights, and travelled many miles
Shook a thousand hands and seen my share of smiles
I've caused some great concern and told one too many lies
And now I see the world through these sad, old, jaded eyes

So what if I threw a party and all my friends were there?
Acquaintances, relatives, the girls who never cared
You'll have a host of rowdy hooligans in a big line out the door
Side by side with Sister Barbara, Chief Wells, and Bobby 'Orr
I'd invite the Flannigans
Replace the window you smashed out
I'd apologize the Sluggo for pissing on his couch
I'll see Mrs. McAuliffe and so many others soon
Then I'll say I'm sorry for what I did sleepwalking in her room

So what if I threw a party and invited Mayor Menino?
He'd tell you to get a permit
Well this time Tom I don't think so
It's a neighbourhood reunion
But now we'd get along
Van Morrison would be there and he'd sing me one last song
With a backup band of bass players to keep us up all night
Three handsome four string troubadours and Newton's old Fat Mike
I'll be in the can having a smoke with Garv and Johnny Fitz
But there's a backup in the bathroom 'cause the badger's got the shits

You may bury me with an enemy in Mount Calvary
You can stack me on a pyre and soak me down with whiskey
Roast me to a blackened crisp and throw me in a pile
I could really give a shit, I'm going out in style
You can take my urn to Fenway, spread my ashes all about
Or you can bring me down to Wolly Beach and dump the sucker out
Burn me to a rotten crisp and toast me for a while
I could really give a shit, I'm going out in style

Make me up, dress me up, feed me a big old shot
Of embalming fluid highballs so I don't start to rot
Now take me to McGreevy's, I wanna buy one final round
What cheap prick would peel an orange in his pocket
Then hurry up and suck 'em down

If there's a god the girls you loved will all come walking through the door
Maybe they'll feel bad for me and this stiff will finally score
You've got the bed already
And nerve and courage too
Cause I've been slugging from a stash of desi queally's 1980s bathtub brew

Spread all my ashes about
Dump the sucker out
Toast me for a while
I'm going out in style

"What did you think then?" Prussia asked the judges. (Now there's only 4 of them!)

"It was so moving! Now I wish I was Irish, man!" David beamed.

"It was brilliant! But one question: I know it's Irish and stuff but why are you dressed in a blue kilt?" Michael asked Dublin.

"The Irish invented a lot of things the Scottish take credit for. We're all Celtic. And blue is the national colour of Ireland, not green." Dublin explained.

"I liked it. It had an Irish theme and style to it whilst still keeping funny." Austria nodded his head in his trail of thought.

"I LOVE THAT KILT! GIVE ME!" Louie Spence squealed, "And the Irish dance as well? Brilliant! You must teach me sometime, darling!"

"I will do!" Dublin winked.

"Are you happy about the feedback?" KKB asked the red-head.

"Definitely!" Dublin exclaimed before skipping off. (DON'T DO THAT IN A KILT!)

"I think I just saw something I shouldn't have." Shay blinked.

"Okay! Next we have Hawaii singing The Stereotype song by Your Favourite Martian!" Prussia chuckled.

(Hawaii in italics)

You know I always thought stereotypes were kind of ridiculous so I wrote a song about it. And it goes a little something like this.

I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance ddddance to these stereotypes.
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance ddddance to these stereotypes.

I love those fat Americans. You know they're so obnoxious.
They're always eating burgers. They're always holding shotguns.
And I love Mexicans. The way they mow my lawn.
They all got 100 kids 'cause they don't know how to put a condom on.
Uh huh. 'Cause that's the way they role.
You've got to go big like an Israeli nose.
If you ever buy a pint for an Irish guy, they're
Out of control like a Chinese driver.

I love the Middle East, but how do they handle
Rockin' burkas while they're riding camels.
I love Jamaicans. Yeah, they're cool, but
They're always high, so don't let them fool ya. (yah, man)
And I love them Puerto Ricans,
Even though they wash their ass about once a weekend.
I'm just joking. If you didn't know then
You're a little slow and you're probably from Poland.

Aw yeah! Let me hear you yell
If you love the outback redneck Australians,
And the crooked ass teeth of an English dude
Or those creepy Italians who think they're smooth.
And how could anyone hate the French.
Yeah, I know their hairy women don't shave their pits.
Brazilian girls is what you want,
Walking around town with that ba-dunk-a-dunk.

I love Africans, but hold up a second.
National Geographic says they're all butt-naked.
Breasts hanging low. What have they done with their clothes.
They've disappeared like coke up a Colombians nose.
Uh oh! They're all on my checklist,
Even Russian guys who drink vodka for breakfast.
They're stereotypes, and if you believe them,
Then your brain is small like a Korean's penis.

All together now!
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.
I love Scotsmen though they hump sheep.
Yeah, they hump sheep (yeah yeah yeah).
They hump sheep.
They hump sheep.
Yeah!

I think I love you more than the Japanese love tentacle porn,
And we should dance dance dance ddddance to these stereotypes.
(everyone)
Let's come together and live in this world like a unibrow on an Indian girl,
And we should dance dance dance to these stereotypes.

"Judges?" Prussia spluttered with laughter.

"Offensive... I'm joking! I loved it. You the woman!" David laughed.

"I enjoyed that very much!" Michael said before laughing so hard that David had to pat him on the back.

"You didn't skit me, so it's okay." Austria said flatly.

"I loved how you got the countries out to play along! Russia over-enthusiastically drinking vodka!" Louie Spence beamed.

"Okay, give it up for Hawaii!" KKB said in his cheesy voice. Hawaii skipped off and met with Copenhagen to giggle about what they both had sung.

"Now, we have to apologize in advance to the lack of lyrics to this. So we had to get ilurrrverussia to listen to it until she couldn't hear the name Runcorn without singing it." Prussia explained.

"Applaud for Runcorn, singing Empire State of Runcorn by TJNegativ!" KKB introduced.

(Italics: Runcorn)

Grown up in a town, that is famous for an advert promoting cheese,

But it's always pissing down in the land of two pints and a pack of crisps,

If you survive round here you'll have an ASBO before you reach a certain age,

But meet my mates outside, normally around the corner from the shops on Grangeway!

Even if it ain't all it seems, I have twenty pack of green,

Baby, I'm from Runcorn!

Was a concrete jungle where dreams are broken!

There's nothing for kids to do!

Now you're in Runcorn!

Plastic gangsters will steal your training shoes,

And give you a fat bruise,

Let's hear it for Runcorn, Runcorn, Runcorn!

If you're red or blue there is always fat to chew, that's who we are!

They demonise the pot when they should focus on the rot,

Politicians are not God!

Hail a hackney cab, takes me down from Southgate over the Runcorn bridge,

When you're asleep tonight, smack heads will come in and steal from your fridge!

Was going to buy a pair of jeans but got a twenty bag of green,

Baby I'm from Runcorn!

Was a concrete jungle where dreams are broken!

There's nothing for kids to do!

Now you're in Runcorn,

Plastic gangsters will steal your training shoes,

And give you a fat bruise!

Let's hear it for Runcorn, Runcorn, Runcorn!

(Wrap)

One hand in the air for the shopping city,

When I was a kid, I used to rob it silly,

Every town in the country will compare, (sing from now))

Put your lighter in the air,

Everybody say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Runcorn, was a concrete jungle where dreams are broken,

There's nothing for kids to do,

Now you're in Runcorn,

Plastic gangsters will steal your training shoes and give you a fat bruise,

Let's hear it for !

"You made me proud." KKB said to his own OC.

"ME TOO!" Jinxed-Wolfie and ilurrrverussia shouted from the front row.

"Judges, how did you feel about that heart-warming performance?" Prussia said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"I didn't get it." Michael McIntyre commented.

"Me neither."

"Sorry darling."

"I get it! So, you're Runcorn and you're singing your own anthem? Cool! You put a tear in Prussia'a eye so it must be good! You the man Runcorn!" David praised, giving Runcorn an air hi-five.

"How did you feel about those comments?" Prussia asked the stunned blonde (dressed in his Runcorn Linnets Football kit).

"Disappointed." Runcorn replied flatly.

"Okay well off you go." Prussia said gently. Once Runcorn went off the stage, KKB continued.

"Now please welcome Vatican City, the only contestant that has confused the world. Is he a state, a country or just a city? Today, he's singing We Love You by OMD!"

(I think you understand how it works now!)

We've got to get a message to the stars above
Like radios in heaven hearing just enough
And every single teardrop along the way
We put them in our pockets for a rainy day

But here we are in trouble
Like we always are
Just praying for a miracle
And reaching for stars