1) He has to smell good. Like. Really good. I'm talking Abercrombie and Fitch good.
"Dez. Dude. Dez. Look at this. Ally likes guys who smell good! I smell good, right? Here, sniff me." I said to Dez, poking my head out. He leaned in and gave my head a big whiff.
"Sure. I guess you smell alright. Kind of like...pancakes...and..", he leaned in again, "Dude. Is that seaweed and chocolate?" He questioned.
I looked at him strangely. Then I realized why my hair smelled like that.
"Oh. I had pancakes this morning. Then some girls gave me cupcakes from Kirstie's and I guess I poked my head in the bag. And the seaweed? It's my new shampoo. 'Seaweed Paradise'. Nice, right? It moisturizes and everything." I explained, admiring my hair. Dez looked at me in disbelief.
"How do you expect to smell amazing for Ally when you smell like the Little Mermaid after her sea bath?" He asked me. He turned back to the video game on the big screen in his basement. I gaped at him.
"The Little Mermaid? Give me some credit. My hair is way better than Ariel's." Dez paused the game, as I wasn't covering for him.
"One, I'm mad that you didn't tell me about the shampoo! You know I'm always looking for a good shine. Two, get your shiny head out of your ass Austin. Lets face it. Ally will probably go for a guy who smells like Brad Pitt. Or George Clooney. You need to smell so good, that she will follow you around like you did to her when she smelled like bacon." Dez said to me, waving his hands in all sorts of weird motions.
He did have a good point.
"George Clooney. I can do that." I replied. I grabbed my coat and keys.
"That's why they call me, 'The Love Whisperer.'" Dez said, whispering the last part. I rolled my eyes.
"No one calls you that." I whispered back.
"And I'm gonna go down to the mall." I said while leaving his basement.
If she wants Abercrombie model good, I'll give her more. I'll give her Mr. Clooney.
(Page Break)
I parked my car and headed for the entrance into the mall. I slid on my sunglasses. It really was a beautiful day. A bright, blue sky. The sun was shining, the birds were buzzing, the air was warm, and Ally.
Wait. Ally?
I looked across the parking lot to see the wonderful girl herself. She really was gorgeous. Her ombré hair cascading behind her. Her pink sundress and white wedges. Her laughing alongside with the handsome guy leaning dangerously close to her. Something doesn't seem right...
What was she doing here? Most importantly, what was she doing here with a guy like that?
He looked about my height, same build, and brunette...
And unfortunately, even for a guy, I thought he was good looking. I crouched down behind a Prius and spied on her.
Spied? I meant observe from a distance. My heart dropped to my stomach and tightened. They were walking closer and closer.
"So I told him that either he had to stop acting like a wussbucket and jump out the plane, or I'll personally push him out! He just kept talking and talking about this girl. I was ready to jump out first just to escape him." The stupid good looking guy said while chuckling.
Ally threw her head back in laughter.
"That is honestly a great story Will." She replied back. They were now on the other side of the Prius where I was hiding from.
Suddenly, she paused and sniffed the air. A confused expression replaced her happy smile.
"Do you smell...the sea?" She asked bewildered. I froze.
Curse my need for awesome hair.
"Well Ally, the closest beach is only a couple of minutes away. We are pretty close." He responded.
"No, it's just. It smells like seaweed. And the fishy, salty seaweed. Not the real smell. Like, it's from a bottle?" She started looking around for the source of the smell.
I peeked at her through the window, then turned straight around in the opposite direction. Except that I hit my head on the car next to the damn car.
I yelped in surprise and pain. Mostly pain.
"Austin?" I heard her voice from behind me. I turned around and got up slowly, clutching my forehead, a blush creeping up to my neck. She was just coming around the car, with Will towing behind her.
"Ally? Oh hey Als!" I feigned surprise.
"Hey, you're Austin Moon, right? Man, I love your music!" The stupid good looking guy, whose name is Will, said to me. Well, he can't be that bad if he likes my music. But he still has a stupid face. With shockingly good teeth.
Damn.
"Austin, what are you doing here...behind a Prius?" She inquired. She leaned in closer to my hair.
"And why do you smell like seaweed?" She pulled a face. My heart tugged a little closer to the bottom of my stomach. She doesn't like it.
"I was just...looking for my lucky penny. Oh look! I found it." I explained, picking up a dirty penny that caught my eye from the ground, putting on a wide smile. If my smile got any wider, it would crack my face.
"But...you don't have a lucky penny..." Curse Ally for knowing so much about me. I looked over to observe Will a little more. He was my height, with brunette hair that flopped down. He had grey eyes. And really straight teeth.
"And you are?" I said coldly to the guy standing next to Ally.
"Oh I'm Will. I just came down from Maine." He took out his hand, offering me a handshake. I looked down on it and scoffed.
"And may I ask what you're doing with Ally?" I asked. He awkwardly put down his hand. Ally looked at me.
"Oh. She's helping me pick out a present for my girlfriend. Our one year is coming up after all." He has a girlfriend.
He has a girlfriend who is NOT Ally.
I noticeably brightened after that.
"Yeah, Veronica has a knack for snowglobes from different states, and she didn't have one from Florida yet. And Will thought it would be a good time to also visit his favorite cousin too." Ally added, elbowing his chest. His cousin. Her cousin. They're cousins.
Wait. They're cousins! The knot in my stomach loosened considerably.
"Oh really? Well welcome to Miami, Will!" I chimed. They both raised their eyebrows at me.
"Anyways, I'm gonna bring Will back to my house." Ally said. She hugged me goodbye and began walking towards her car. Will hung behind.
"Listen. Don't say anything. It's clear as daylight you have a thing for Ally. I noticed the way you wanted me to drop dead when you saw us together. Just...take good care of her." He said to me, giving me a bro handshake then walking away.
I made my way towards the mall, thinking about what Will said to me.
Me? Have a thing for Ally? What? How. How is that even possible. She's my best friend. My songwriter. My pickle loving, rule abiding, songwriter. I mean, sure, any guy who even remotely looks at her like that is sure going to get punched. And she is absolutely breathtakingly stunning. And the way she can't dance is adorable. And I love everything about her. But, I don't have a thing for her! Do I?
(Page Break)
I approached the perfume kiosk, 'Bells and Smells'.
And it doesn't surprise me to see a short girl with curly hair standing in front of me, with a bottle of perfume attached to a headband and apron standing in front of me.
"Hey Austin, what are you doing here?" She asked. I looked around at the many assortments of colorful perfume bottles lined up in neat rows. Trish certainly didn't organize that.
"And why do you smell like seaweed?" She wrinkled her nose.
"I like to have shiny, healthy hair. Is that such a crime?" I exclaimed in frustration.
She looked like she was about to go on further but decided in her best interest not to. I picked up a square bottle with a translucent liquid inside of it.
"How does this smell?" I questioned. She grabbed it out of my hands.
"Seriously. What are you doing here?" Trish asked, she was just going to keep asking me if I didn't answer. I sighed.
"Ally has this list..." I began. Trish started to burst out in laughter, an evil glint in her eye. What? Was there something in my teeth? Was it something I said?
"No need to continue Austin. Here. Let me help." She smirked.
Four hours and three showers later, I lied down on the couch face down.
"Austin?" I heard a delicate voice behind me.
"Mmfpph" I grunted in response. I looked up to see her leaning against my living room wall, stifling a laugh.
"Go ahead, laugh it up." I muttered. She started giggling like mad. I resumed my original position, rubbing my head against the pillow.
"Not only do you smell like a wet dog, but you look like one rubbing your head like that." She joked. I glared up at her and refused to speak.
"Oh come on, don't ignore me. I asked Trish what happened, except she couldn't stop laughing, I only got the words Austin, perfume, and fall. Care to tell me what happened?"
"No." I growled.
"Please, Austin? I'll make some French toast?" She offered. I looked up at her in horror.
"Pancakes it is." She stated. I huffed and then took a deep breath.
"So it started like this..." I began.
(Page Break)
Four hours earlier
"Take a seat. I'll spray some samples and then give it to you, okay?" Trish said to me, shoving me down in a seat.
The old lady I threw the book at earlier glared at me from across the mall. I glared right back at her. Old people are supposed to bake cookies and tell you stories about the golden days!
"How about this?" Trish asked, holding up a white sample card that had been recently sprayed. I sniffed it.
"Not too bad...but I'm looking for something bigger. You can't give me Patrick Dempsey. I need George Clooney!"
Other people walking around the mall gave me one of those looks that I've been getting lately.
"Alright people! Keep walking. Can't a guy casually buy some cologne!" I yelled at them.
"Mommy, look. It's that strange man who talked to himself in the store." The little girl said to her mom, tugging at her hand and pointing at me.
"Sh, sweetheart. Don't look at him. You might encourage him..." The mom said to her, ushering her in the opposite direction.
"I'm not a crazy man!" I yelled down at them, swinging my fist. I growled and slumped back in my seat.
"Austin, stop acting like a cranky old man. How about this?" She handed me the sample. I smelled it then jerked it away.
"Oh, god no. It smells like dirty snow." I stated. "It smells like...dirty snow?" She questioned. I looked at her firmly in the eyes.
"Yes."
This went on for 20 minutes. I started getting agitated and feeling a headache come on from all the scents.
"Alright. How about this one?" Trish asked exhausted. "This is the most I've worked in a long time!"
It smelled...it smelled...like George Clooney was bathing in money in an Abercrombie store.
I told Trish so and she pinched the bridge of her nose, fed up.
The next thing happened before I could stop it. Trish was ringing up the cologne I purchased before tripping and dropping it. It shattered on the ground and I tried to put it back together and trying to soak up the smell. Before I know it, the cart carrying the neatly organized perfumes and colognes fell directly behind me, alongside all of the smells. I put my head in my hands because now, I smelled like a unicorn barfed up a rainbow on me.
(Page Break)
Four hours later
"...And that's how I ended up smelling like a wet dog that rolled around in rainbow puke."
I ended my story, cutting my pancakes. Ally was full on laughing now.
"It's not that funny!" I pouted. Her laughing subsided, but bubbles of laughter left occasionally. We chewed in silence, me pouting, and her smiling.
After a while, Ally broke the silence.
"I like the way you smell, you know." She murmured. I looked across the kitchen table from my pancakes.
"What?"
"I think it's unique. It smells like...a good story." She looked up, flashing me a smile.
My eyes softened. I smiled back at her.
"You think so, Als?" I replied. I did feel a lot better. She reached across the table and grabbed my hand.
"Of course Aus." She squeezed my hands and my stomach did a weird flip thing.
We stayed at the table and talked all night, never letting go of each other's hand.
But not before she added, "And Austin. Please switch your shampoo. I can deal with the wet dog rainbow gag scent. But please, oh please, ditch the seaweed."