Chapter 4: Thou art most comical.

Though I had nearly frozen to death the previous night, I managed to get some much needed sleep in. I suppose the only reason I was eventually able to rest in the chilly atmosphere was to be credited to my exhaustion.

Gradually I became aware of my surroundings again, a slow re-entering into the conscious state of my mind. Groggily, I opened my eyes and hauled myself up, emitting a chorus of cracks from my back. I was feeling vexingly sore. Cave floors were never the comfiest of places to snooze.

After a nice, satisfying yawn, my eyes drifted to where had Temari slept.

I nearly had a heart-attack in panic.

For the second time in this death trap they called a desert, I'd awoken to being alone and helplessly confused.

Had she decided not to follow through with her side of the deal? Temari had never struck me as that type of woman. I had thought rather highly of her class...

I was on my feet at once, scrambling out of the cave's entrance with a newfound sense of distress. Breathing a bit heavier than normal, I scanned the area for any trace of the blonde-haired temptress.

The sun hadn't even risen yet; it was still to dark for the human eye to decipher its whereabouts at a distance. How would I find her again in this?

"Would you look at that? Seems like someone is finally awake..."

I could have repeatedly hit my cranium into the rock face for all of my embarrassment. There Temari sat, not even two meters away from me, not even sparing me a glance in her 'morning greeting'.

I scratched the back of my neck in shame, muttering quietly, "Good marrow, Temari..."

"Morning." Whether she was returning my greeting or correcting me, I wasn't quite sure.

I had been avoiding eye contact with her (which was quite easy, seeing as see wasn't bothering to find my eyes), until I caught movement in my peripherals. A striking motion.

I couldn't help but look now. From what I could make out in the dark, she was dragging something sharp against a rigid stone, with smooth, angled strokes. I could see tiny white sparks fly from each collision.

My hand slowly slipped from its place on my neck back to my side as my inquisitive side took over. I squinted slightly to try and make out what exactly she was doing... despite the fact that opening them wider to further the dilation of my pupils would have been of more assistance. For my lack of logic, I knew not whether to blame the presence of the woman, or the deprivation of proper bodily care.

Ultimately, I surrendered my attempt and bit, "What art thoust doing?"

This time those intimidating teal eyes left their original place of concentration to meet my confused ones. She seemed to size me up, unflinchingly, as if I had just uttered the most unintelligent thing to ever grace her ears. I suspected this action was brought about by my Konohian accent...

After an uncomfortable minute or so, she answered in a criticizing tone, "What does it look like? I am sharpening this stone for a spear. I know not when you have last eaten, but I have gone for long enough."

I felt a twinge of guilt upon hearing this. I don't know how exactly she had fallen into the hands of Konoha's king, but it was obvious they did not treat her... honorably. At the time, though, I was far too afraid to ask how exactly she wound up in such a predicament, and what events took place once there.

Luckily, she filled the silence before I worked up the stupidity to, "Your people do hunt, do they not? ...or do they strive weakly off the vegetation?"

I knowingly ignored the vegetarian remark, but, unfortunately, failed to carry out such intelligence into the rest of my actions. "Yes, my people hunt. Actually, my clan is well known for our deer harvests."

This was mostly true. Konohians did hunt, and my clan was known for our deer... but we seldom 'harvested' any other part of them other than their antlers. When times were rough we weren't against feeding on some, but I had never taken part in the actual slaughtering of them. Truthfully, unlike many of my knighted friends, I had never purposefully killed a living creature.

Unfortunately, Mother Nature had finally paid me a visit, and not unlike the flashy bucks back home who flaunted their racks in the presence of a doe, all I longed to do was impress this member of the opposite sex.

Temari's eyes perked with the slightest hint of interest, "So you are experienced with a spear, then?"

"Indeed." This was, of course, one of the largest lies I had ever told in my life.

A small smile actually graced this ice queen's features, "Good!" she tossed me a finished make-shift spear, "We'll leave as soon as I finish crafting this one."

The sun was just now barely starting to peek from the horizon, as Temari and I trudged through the slowly re-warming sand. Though the light was scarce, it was helping leaps in bounds in aiding my vision.

"This time is one of the best for a hunter around here," Temari explained, her voice low so as not to scare away prey, "Almost every creature is either coming out or going into hiding. They are very active now."

I nodded slowly, copying her quiet, delayed movements. I wasn't called a genius back home for shits and giggles.

Abruptly, she stopped in front of me. I opened my mouth to inquire what she was doing, but the glare she tossed over her shoulder stopped me. As her head turned back, I saw caught sight of what she was looking at.

A massive thorny-looking lizard had taken a head start to his day and had lain down in a particularly strong beam of light to bask. He clearly hadn't noticed two humans creeping about.

Now Temari turned back to me, her voice in the softest of whispers, "I will head south, you cover the north."

I nodded slowly once more, an array of alarms going off in my brain. I knew what was going to happen. One of us would eventually spook the lizard (really, no human could hope of sneaking up on a lizard less than half their size without being caught, could they?) and he'd run in a frenzy to get away from us. All I could really do is hope and pray that the bloke would not run towards me.

With extreme caution, I followed Temari's orders, and approached him from the north.

Before I could even focus on aiming my spear, a loud crack resonated from the eastern side of our positions.

Beady black eyes snapped open in an instant, and quickly flew off... in my direction. He quickly took notice of me too, however, and tried to scurry off to the west.

Determined not to loose this chance to earn Temari's respect, I rashly bolted in front of it, thrusting my spear about like a madman. The lizard easily dodged them, weaving around my blind attacks with more speed than I'd ever have.

As I lined my spear up with his head, sure I now had him, I gave my most forceful rush... only to have my spear tip lodged into the ground.

I, trying to be as quick as possible to recover from this grave error, tugged much too gustily once again, and landed square on my back. After which, to add to my mortification, the lizard quite literally clawed his way over my chest and directly to his escape.

He was gone, now. I'd missed him horribly.

I raised my head warily to find Temari giving me a funny look. I didn't blame her. I'd be giving people funny looks if I'd just witnessed them dancing with lizards too.

I looked away, currently unable to deal with my failed attempt to impress her.

That's when I noticed the camel. Apparently, he was fed up with waiting for us back at the cave, and, after gnawing at his reins decided to come looking for us... and in that process, scared the lizard.

The woman followed my eyes, before cursing, "Damn camel. You are all just too smart..." It didn't really sound like she meant it, or at least, the 'damn camel' part. All the evidence he had given me told me he was the smartest camel I had ever met... even if he was the only camel I had ever met.

But when she turned back to me, she was all business. She did not question my 'abilities', though she looked tempted to, but instead signaled me to keep moving.

Thus we continued forwards, the 'damn' camel in tow, after I shouldered my embarrassment and hauled myself up from the sand. I would be carrying much stigma with me throughout the rest of our (though really it was her) hunt.

With the addition of the camel, it wasn't very possible to hunt the 'large' game. Temari, much to my hidden disgust, and open fear, decided then it was best to capture an entire meal of scorpions. Though it further shames me to admit it, I stood in the background, nearly on my toes, when several times she took to digging up these nightmarish creatures and quickly ending them before they ended her.

Her eyes laughed at me each time, but otherwise she spoke not a word.

I would have enjoyed such beautifully lit eyes more had they not been at my expense, but at that point I took, and was happy with, whatever bone she'd throw me.

After catching her choice dozen, she prepared a fire ring in the shade of one of the many gigantic rocks that littered the place. The sunrise had progressed much further into the sky then when we had started. It had to have been nearly four hours she was out hunting, and I was following her and prancing around her prey like an idiot.

Now the scorpions resided, skewered, on a make-shift spit, tailless and headless, but still the worst creatures I had ever come to encounter. Temari was watching them for signs of being done.

In an attempt to break the silence, and perhaps get to know her better, I asked, "Dost thous't people usually eat scorpions?"

Her eyes did not leave the roasting scorpions, but now they looked a bit clouded. She answered without correcting me. Maybe she had gotten used to hearing my 'accent'. "They are more of appetizers, really. Snacks, sometimes..." she added with a little bit of pride, "But, of course, we douse them in spices then. Bland foods are rare. We all enjoy having our food as hot of the sun above us." At this, she smiled reminiscently.

I nodded, her smile making me squirm a bit. There was something about her that had always been spicy to me. Though, I doubt it was purely because that was her, and her people's, preference of flavor.

After a moment, she lifted those brilliant teal eyes of hers to meet mine, smile fading, and finally asked what she had wanted to all morning, "Your hunting methods are strange to me. All of your clan hunts as you do?"

I sighed, it was best for my health not to continue like this. I answered her truthfully, this time, "Nay. I fear I hath steereth thou downst the wrong path. With honesty, I now tell ye I can not really hunt."

I expected her to be angry, but instead my eyes found she had broken out into a wide amused grin (better, I daresay, than the smile before). My heart, another traitorous fool who inhabited my body, skipped a beat. "So," I could tell she was trying to hold out on chortling, "Your act this morning, it was not some odd ritual of Konoha?"

I shook my head, a guilty smile on my lips. Her grin was contagious. "Naught that I knoweth of."

Immediately, I was listening to a booming burst of laughter from the sandy vixen. I found that I did not nearly mind that she was laughing at me, and not with me, like she had stifled before. In fact, something about that laugh made me feel as though I could take flight...

She took her sweet time in letting her chuckles die down. Actually, I had joined in with a few nervous chuckles of my own before she had to stop for air.

"Why ever would you make up something like that?" she asked, still suffering from small bursts of laughter.

I shrugged, guilty grin spreading, "Well, I did naught wish fort thou to think of myself weak," and, after a moment of contemplation, I decided to be strait forward with her from now on. "... and I suppose I only wished to impress thee."

She was in too good of a mood, after such a laugh fest, for my confession to anger her. Actually, as her laughter finally faded, her eyes glittered as she suggested with that grin of hers, "Well, next time, use actual traits of your possession."

"Actually, back home, I am known as Konoha's genius..." I offered none too modestly, though full of embarrassment. No time like the present, I had reasoned.

With one last guffaw, she asked incredulously,"Really? You speak truthfully now?"

"I hath learned my lesson in lying." I confirmed, my hand reaching up to scratch the back of my head.

The look I received afterwards made me think she thought Konoha was just full of idiots. She opened her mouth to reply, but cut herself short with wide eyes.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, swiftly removing the scorpions from the fire. Neither of us had noticed that they were beginning to burn.

I was fine with accepting that they were all hers for eating. She had caught every single one of them... and I really didn't want to find out how they tasted anyway. But when she shoved two of them, mounted on a stick like a shish kabob, into my hands, I didn't have the ability to be rude enough to turn them down.

I watched how she took her own and cracked the roasted beast's shell, a plethora of steam billowing out, before pulling her lips back and using her front teeth to pull out what was inside to chew.

Nauseously, I cracked my scorpion's shell. I did my best not to yak up whatever remained in my stomach at the sight and smell of what was inside.

It took an enormous amount of willing my gag reflexes to disappear, but eventually, I was able to enjoy a meal with Temari.

After we finished our scorpions, we continued our journey to Temari's homeland. All the while, though, Temari had taken to mercilessly teasing me. Both verbally, and well, physically. I was grateful that she had warmed up to me a bit, but her constant jabs were troublesome.

She was in front once again. Several times I had to tear my eyes from those swaying hips... especially since that white dress she had been forced into in Konoha kept riding up or tearing. I chose to instead observe the camel, in hopes he would take my mind off the feral beauty leading him. But my eyes kept drifting back...

Temari caught me once, staring at the camel. "We are not going to eat him, ride him, or search his bags." She spoke, glancing at me suspiciously over her shoulder.

With a cough, I went along with her assumption, "Why is that?"

"I know who owns him," she said pointing to the symbols that were unrecognizable to me, "And he will give us hell if we so much as move what are in those bags... or hurt his expensive carrier of the bags."

I found myself nodding again. I didn't want to kill the brute anyway. He was practically my savior.

With a mischievous smirk, she added, "You can not fuck him either, no matter your frustration."

I nearly died choking on my own spit.

The sun had come and gone, and I was simply exhausted from today's exertion. It was already colder than it had been the previous night, and being out in the open, I was even more paranoid about the creatures that lurked around here.

Temari had no such problem. In fact, she seemed more carefree, if anything. After we had set up 'camp', she stopped to admire the bright stars that were scattered about the desert sky. With no trees or tall buildings to block them out, they looked much more beautiful than the ones back in Konoha... even though they were exactly the same.

The cold, unfortunately, kept me from taking in their full beauty. Soon I began to violently shiver like only a Konohian used to a warm climate all the time would. Temari, as usual, caught onto this quickly.

This time, however, she did not ignore it. She pulled herself up with the grace of a cat, and, breaking her own rules, rummaged through the camel's bags.

Before I could question her, something firm collided with my face. The blow about knocked my off of my seat.

I looked down into my hands. There laid a blanket, rolled up tightly to ensure it took up little space. I looked up to Temari in surprise.

She simply slid back to her own resting place and said, "We can't have you freezing to death before you even get the chance to be executed."

I rolled my eyes (though I was well aware of the truth in her words) but smiled gratefully. This woman...

Hello again guys! Happy I didn't die?

I hope no one was offended about Temari's vegetarian remark. You have to understand that people who live in the desert really can't afford to be picky, but will make fun of those who are. :P

A big thank you to those whom have reviewed, and those that will review! I'd like to tell jayjoan that you're currently my favorite, since you've reviewed every chapter payed attention to my little notes down here. c:

Also, we'll be moving towards the action parts very soon! I know you were itching about the summary, and slowly your questions will be answered.

That's all for now folks! ;)