They had been standing too long and the nurse, true to her promise, sent Cas and Dean off to finish their dinners in their separate rooms. Cas couldn't wipe the grin from his face. Finally, he was going to get answers.

How long had he waited? Cas mulled the thought over as he played with the sauce-laden noodles on his plate, pushing them from one corner to another. The strange thing was, Cas had no idea how long he'd been in the hospital. Sometimes it felt like a week, other times it felt longer, a month, a year? The lack of clarity worried him. Cas abandoned his meal, in search of some method of tracking time. A calendar, perhaps, or a dated receipt for the medications he was taking. He checked his drawers, under the bed, on the table, but there was nothing out of place in his uncomfortably clean room.

Resigned, he sat back down and tried to continue eating. By this time, the noodles were cold and rubbery. Cas forced himself to swallow, then set down his fork. With nothing else to do, he paced the room, trying to think of something, anything, that could give him a clue to how long he'd been in the ward.

His reverie was broken by two sharp raps on the door. It opened to reveal Meg, who had arrived with his nightly medications. She looked at him, then at the half-full plate of food sitting on the table.

"Why haven't you eaten?" she said, setting his cup of pills on the dresser.

"I don't like stroganoff. I wanted hamburgers," Cas replied. It was true, though had nothing to do with the reason he didn't eat dinner tonight.

Meg, apparently, wasn't buying it either. She crossed her arms. "Castiel, what is this about?"

What was it about? It was a lot of things. Dean. His visions. The uncertainty of how much time had passed. Of course, none of those would go over well. "It's..." Cas started, looking at the floor to avoid eye contact, "It was the encounter I had with the high security patient."

Meg's eyes softened. "Of course, that's to be expected. It was a trying experience for everyone involved." She grabbed the two paper cups, on with pills, one with water, and walked across the room, handing them to Cas. "Maybe you should tuck in early?"

Cas nodded, taking the medications before walking to his bed. It squeaked as he sat. Meg gave him a worried look, then headed out of the room. As she reached the doorway, Cas spoke. "How long have I been here?"

She turned around, eyes searching him sadly. "You don't know?"

"No."

Meg sighed. "I can't tell you."

"Why?"

Meg gave a small head shake. She opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it, walking out the door without a word. Cas laid back on the bed, defeated. He would have to try something different tomorrow. He wrapped himself in the thin bedsheet and closed his eyes, bracing himself for the inevitable nightmares that would come before he reached the dawn.

There was power. So much power. Dean and Sam stared at him in shock.

Cas stared at Dean, but his body was not his own. He could feel dark forces writhing within him. "We run the show now," Cas could hear his voice, but it didn't sound like him. With a push, Dean was sent flying across the room.

The darkness controlled his body as he walked into the water. Each step brought him deeper and deeper. His head submerged, then there was nothing.

Cas awoke with a wail. Thrashing, tangled in his bed sheet, he fell from the bed with a loud thud. Light streamed in from the small, barred window. His breath came in dry, ragged sobs. What was he? It seemed each dream showed Castiel another dark part of himself. A part he wouldn't want to see. Maybe it was for the best that he was locked away here.

"Castiel! It's time for your appointment!" Meg called from outside the door.

Cas scrambled to his feet, hastily kicking the covers under the bed as Meg opened the door.

"How did the nightmares go tonight?" Meg asked.

"Nonexistent," Cas replied, his voice cracking slightly as he tried to control the residual panic caused by the flashbacks.

"Great," Meg said with a smile, and with that they headed to the dining room. They didn't speak, Castiel instead focusing on the small things, the patter of his slippers on the linoleum floor, the creaks of other doors opening. They approached the intimidating door to Naomi's office. Meg opened the door and ushered Cas in before walking away.

"Hello, Castiel. I'm glad you're here," Naomi said, her voice sickly sweet. Cas sat, obediently. She began to talk and Cas lost track of time...he was aware of her speaking and his own voice answering...the next thing he knew, he was being escorted by Meg to group breakfast.

"Wh-what happened in there?" Cas croaked, racking his brain for an answer, but finding nothing.

Meg looked scared, refusing to answer.

When he reached the dining room, Cas grabbed a tray, which was loaded with a bowl of cold cereal, a cup of orange juice and a banana, and found an empty spot at the end of the table. He dug into the cereal voraciously, having barely eaten the night before.

He heard a clink and looked up to see Dean placing his tray beside him. Dean, collapsing in a heap as he crashed into the table. Cas blinked back the flashback and forced himself to swallow.

"Dude, you wouldn't believe what happened last night!" Dean said excitedly, biting into a sausage.

Cas avoided eye contact, instead reaching for his glass of orange juice.

"I think I had one of those flashbacks you've been having!" Dean continued, still chewing. He paused, swallowing. "You, me and Sam were fighting some sort of monster!"

"Did you ever stop to think maybe we're both just crazy?" Cas asked, taking a sip of his drink and staring at his tray.

"I know what I said before, but it felt real." Dean lowered his voice, "You wanna know what I think? I think we're trapped here. They just want us to think we're crazy."

"That's what crazy people say, Dean." Cas ignored the ache in his chest. He'd finally gotten Dean on his side and now he was pushing him away? It was for the best. It had to be. The more flashbacks that came, the more Cas realized he was poison to anyone he got close to. Perhaps the psychiatric ward was the closest he could come to redemption.

"You know that's not true."

Cas sighed, finally allowing himself to look Dean in the eye. "After what I've seen, maybe I wish it was."

"I don't know what you did," Dean said, after a pause, "Or who you think you were, but I'd rather have that reality than this one. Locked away in rooms all day, losing track of time, this isn't who any of us were meant to be."

"In that reality, I drove your brother to insanity. I devastated my family and destroyed any bond that existed between us," Cas replied, bluntly. "Maybe I've realized that where I am now is better. Safer."

"But it's not real. It can't be."

"Or maybe you can't face the fact you got your mother and brother killed," Cas said, heart ripping as he drove a wedge deeper into the newly formed friendship with Dean. What was he doing? This wasn't what he wanted.

Dean's smile faded. "I don't know what you're playing at, but you know that's not true. I know it." He paused, waiting for Cas to agree, but Cas turned away. "I don't know what happened, but I'm going to prove it," Dean said after a moment, his voice hardening. "I'm going to find my brother and then all three of us are getting out of here." He stood to leave.

"Dean..." Cas said, desperately wishing for him to stay. But the words wouldn't come. "I can't."

Head sinking, he drained the last of his juice, hearing his one connection to the other reality walk away. Why had he pushed Dean away like that? Dean had been the one thing keeping him sane.