"Can we… can we talk, Jess?"
I quickly scan the shop; it's slow and my partner on the evening shift can easily cover for me.
Kate stands tall, her shoulders squared and her jaw set, and if you didn't know any better, you'd swear she was the picture of poise. But though the trembling of her lip has stopped and the red is fast fading from her eyes, she's still white-knuckling whatever it is that is bothering her. Her thumbs are hooked into the pockets of her pants, her nails digging into the dark-washed denim of her jeans, making the contrast between the two even more obvious.
"Heads up, Jake," I call, quickly making my way over to Kate and throwing her a smile. "You've got the helm; back in a while."
"Aye, aye," he calls back and I give him a little mock-salute before turning to Kate.
Reaching her, I take a hold of an arm and quickly turn her around, grabbing my coat from the rack and leading her back out the way she just came. "Come on, girl, let's blow this joint, huh?"
"Jess, this really isn't necessary… you don't need to, you know…"
She waves back toward the store and I roll my eyes. "Nonsense," I shush, leading her down the street and toward a small community park just a block away. "Come on, I know a place."
She nods, accepting my lead and quietly follows at my side. The wind blows strongly between buildings as we make our way down the sidewalk and she wraps her trench tightly around her waist, hunching her shoulders to protect her neck and keep off the chill. For May, it's unseasonably cold, and I'm glad I grabbed my coat; I give her a quick once-over, covering my inspection with a pretense of struggling to put on my outerwear.
She laughs, completely unexpectedly and rolls her eyes. "I'm fine, Jess."
Huh. Apparently I wasn't as covert in my examination as I had thought.
"Sure you are. So, what's up?" I grin, turning into the park and pulling out my wallet. She bites on her lip, takes a breath like she's going to say something and then closes her mouth again.
I've got time. I can wait.
I lead us toward the hotdog vendor that is a fixture in the park and ask her if she wants one. She declines, but orders a bottle of water. I order a dog with everything on it; onions, cheese, chili, and a coke to wash it all down.
I study her as we wait for my dog to be prepared. She absently bites on a thumb nail and stares off into the distance, toward the playground and the soccer field beyond. She lifts her chin and lets the cool, late spring breeze whip through her hair; she takes a deep breath and angles her face towards the remnants of dappled sunset as it streams through the trees. As I pay, she opens her eyes, a less conflicted aura surrounding her when she finally faces me. I hand her the water bottle and cock my head towards an empty seat that lines the walking track.
"Hungry?" she smirks as we sit on the bench.
"Starved," I mumble through a mouthful, moaning as melted cheese hits the back of my mouth. "I haven't had a break all day; haven't eaten either. And you can't tell a soul… but if I had to drink one more cup of coffee I might have thrown up. Sometimes owning a coffee shop is a curse."
"Blasphemy!" she gasps, her eyes for the first time looking truly happy, if only for a moment. The cloud quickly settles back onto her countenance and we sit side-by-side, people watching in silence for a while.
I finish my hotdog and ball up the wrapper. Aiming for the garbage, I shoot, but don't score; I miss by a good three feet and she laughs as I cross the bike path to retrieve my trash.
"Shut up," I say as I sit back down beside her. I bump shoulders with her and nudge the side of her head with my own. For someone who wants to talk, she is frustratingly silent. "So, are we gonna sit here all evening making fun of people, or are we gonna talk about why we're really here? What happened?"
I'm pretty sure, I already know, but hey, maybe the robbery detective has pissed her off and it's not at all about her and Rick; or his impromptu visit to the Hamptons with his ex.
She sighs, slumping back into the bench. "We broke up…" She chews on her lip, considering for a moment. "And Castle left."
"Ah." I say, hoping my short reply will spur her into talking.
"Mhm…"
My ploy fails miserably. The seconds tick by and she says no more. It seems like she's not gonna be forthcoming at all, and that I'm going to have to drag it out of her, inch by inch.
"Will we start with Demming then? Who broke up with whom?"
"Me, with him."
Lord… it's like pulling teeth with this one. But two can play at this game. "Why?"
She gives me a look, raises an eyebrow. Yeah, I know why, but she's gonna tell me anyway. I raise both of mine back at her and wait.
"He wasn't what I was looking for right now, okay?" she finally growls.
No shit, Sherlock, I think. Welcome to reality. I know exactly what you are looking for. He's tall, rich and handsome; a cocky, childish, clueless jackass, but with a heart of gold. You're perfect for each other!
Instead, I smirk, parrot back her earlier words. "Mhm."
"What?
"Don't what me, missy. You know exactly what."
"I just…" she groans, running a hand through her hair, leaving it mussed up in the back and pulled away from her face, showing the bony line of her jaw and the sharp shadow below her cheeks as she fights back emotion. She's losing the battle and I lay a palm on her knee, squeezing to let her know that I'm here.
"I just thought we might have had a chance, you know? And so I… I called it off with Tom and then he… he fucking went and left for the summer with his ex-wife! I mean, what the hell, Jess? I thought that we were… I thought… ugh!"
"Oh, Kate," I say, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and pulling her into my side.
God, Rick, I think. You're such an idiot.
This Gina thing is bound to last a while too. It's how it goes with them; running hot and cold. They share a deep friendship, and a good, if somewhat hostile at times, working relationship. An actual relationship seems almost like a forgone conclusion. It always does. But it also never lasts. Again and again, their personalities clash, until the friction becomes too much to bear and one or the other walks away to lick their wounds. It's always been about comfort and convenience with Rick and Gina; it's never been about passion or love.
"Don't," she says sharply, pulling out of my embrace. "I can't. Not now. You're gonna make me cry."
"Would that be such a terrible thing?" I ask.
"Yes!" she replies, her voice bitter. "This is why I don't let myself…this is why I…"
"Didn't want to let Rick in?" I ask, figuring it is time one of us states the obvious.
"Yeah," she sighs, slumping forward and burying her head in her hands. "It was a mistake."
"It wasn't a mistake," I assure her in a quiet voice.
She gives me the side-eye from between the cascades of her hair in front of her face. Perhaps it's time for her to get a little dose of the truth along the same lines of what Rick had gotten earlier.
"The mistake," I say, looking her squarely in the eye, "was both of you playing games."
She perks up at that, sitting back up and turning to face me on the bench. "What are you talking about? What games?"
She really doesn't see it? Jesus. They are both delusional.
"Oh come on, Kate. Rick sleeps with Ellie to make you jealous..."
She gasps, cutting off my impending rant for a moment, her eyes widening. Did she really think that it was about anything else? Or course he was trying to make her jealous. I lift up an index finger to stop her from denying it. "And then suddenly, it's Tom this and Tom that."
She narrows her eyes at me, but I'm on a roll, so I continue. She takes a chug from her water bottle and sets it down a little too heavily on the bench beside her.
"So sure enough, Rick comes in looking more forlorn and more hopeless every day for weeks. He mopes, silently might I add, when usually I can't get him to shut up about how awesome the twelfth, aka you, is."
She gives me an incredulous look. She doesn't believe a word I'm saying. "And now suddenly he's decided to take off to the Hamptons with Gina? Just like that?"
She cringes.
"So spill, woman. Something happened to push him over the edge and firmly into jackass territory. Pray tell, how did you up the ante this time?"
She groans, and takes another swig from the bottle, another until she drains it, crushing the plastic between her fingers. "He asked me to go to the Hamptons with him first. He hounded me all week. And god, Jess, I almost said yes. I wanted to say yes but…"
"You said no?"
"I said I was busy with work."
"Wow, way to avoid a commitment, Kate," I snark. "Way to dodge your chance." She nods in agreement and closes her eyes. "So, were you? Busy, with work, that is?"
There's more to this story, she looks riddled with guilt.
"No…"
It's so quiet I barely even hear it. My stomach drops. She lowers her gaze, shame washing over her features. "What did you do?" I ask.
"I was supposed to be heading to a B&B with Tom and I didn't want to hurt Castle so I just kind of avoided the topic and didn't mention it."
Oh jeez, now it's becoming clear.
"He found out anyway?"
"Uh-huh. And then he said that he needed a break from the twelfth anyway and that he was leaving to work on his book. So I broke up with Demming, intending to, well, you know..." She shakes her head and shrugs. "But we never got to talk, and I get the feeling that though he said he'd see me in the fall, maybe, maybe he won't be back at all. And then there's Gina…"
She throws me a pleading look and I nod in understanding. Subtlety is not one of Gina's strongpoints. If Rick had mentioned even a hint of what was going on with Kate, if she had even suspected, I am certain that her claws would have been fully drawn and ready to strike. Annoying as she can sometimes be, she is also protective of Rick and always, always, up for a fight.
"Jess, you can't imagine. She was wrapped right around him, hanging on like they were a bona fide couple. And I didn't even realize… I didn't know how much Castle meant to me until I saw that. God, what have I done?"
"Oh, I can imagine. Gina's a force to be reckoned with when provoked."
She furrows her brow in confusion.
"It's probably not as bad as it seemed," I soothe. "Gina's just protective of him." Some of the worry eases in her expression. "You want that hug now?" I ask, offering my outstretched arms and a smile.
She nods, lower lip jutting out in a pout and leaning in for a squeeze. "You're both idiots," I whisper into her hear.
"So what do I do now?" she asks, pulling away, her voice sounding watery but her tears held at bay.
I think that she's had enough sadness for one day, and with Rick off being an idiot in the Hamptons, I say the only logical thing I can think of to get her out of her funk. "What we do… is go and put on some pretty little dresses, something short and sparkly; we do our hair and slather on the makeup, and then we go out and get you back on the saddle. Let's take a night off and trawl for some man meat, huh?"
"Man meat?" she cackles, her laugh verging on hysterical.
"Man meat," I intone seriously, only serving to make her snort in a very unladylike fashion.
"Man meat it is then," she replies, pulling herself together, still grinning a little manically. "Alright if I bring a friend?" she asks. "There's someone you have to meet."
I grin back, and stand, pulling her up with me. "The more the merrier! Come on, Kate, let's go have some fun and forget our troubles for a night, huh?"
She nods, a smile tugging the corners of her lips up and her eyes finally shining brightly.
"Besides, do you even know how long it's been since I have had any action?" I grumble.
"Lanie is gonna love you," she says over her shoulder, leading the way out of the park.
Yes, I think, as I follow alongside her. A little fun is exactly what we both need. With Rick out of town, what could be the harm?
Look at that! Another update within the space of a week. Praise me! Shower me in love. Or reviews, reviews would be good too.
Much love to Avi for holding my hand through the feels and the not wanting to write a word of it all. And to Trish for being an awesome beta and finding all my typos.