Say Something

by KayanixAyaxFujimiya

WORK IN PROGRESS: A series of one-shots, written from Saitou's POV. SSL AU. Saitou is a young woman, whose husband (Souji) was drafted into the Japanese Army. Saitou gave birth to their only daughter, Kitsuki, born with CP, just days before receiving the news her husband had died in the war. This is her story in the years following the news of her husband's death.

4. Blue

Author's Notes: I don't own the characters except for Kitsuki, and this work is not meant to bring in any profit.

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Sometimes, he lay awake, staring out the barred window to his room at the sky beyond. There were always little stars glimmering and shining, sparkling with life.

He envied them sometimes. So free, so full of life. Infinite and never-ending smiles of the heavens above. He would move to his window at times like this and put his hand against the glass. His fingers would leave heat streaks against the glass, marking where he'd touched. He'd press his forehead against the glass and close his eyes. Only then did peace seem to come for a moment. He finally understood, at that point, that he had to continue on. That he had to breathe and take steps forward.

And he would. Time passed. Days turned to weeks, which turned to months. Slowly, little by little, he gained ground.

But there was always something holding him back. Some demon that raised it's head and tore at his heart and drug him backward. Some little phrase that would leave his mouth and that he'd regret instantly, but couldn't change.

He fought against himself, struggling to become the mother he was supposed to be.

For those blue eyes and that crooked grin, he had to.