"Hello?" Bucky answers in that groggy voice that Tony absolutely loves.

"You asleep?"

"I was."

"Sorry," Tony says, and Bucky's certain that Tony doesn't care all that much. "You going anywhere today?"

"Not anytime soon."

"Steve's going to lunch. I'll be over in an hour."

Bucky hums and maybe it's the remnants of last night's whiskey that make him say these things. "You can just come over now while I'm still in bed and fuck me back to sleep. And when we wake up we can take a shower and you can fuck me again if you want to, and then maybe I'll make you breakfast."

"Mm," Tony hums. He sighs softly at the thought, because he'd love nothing more than to do that. "Sounds tempting, but I've gotta finish this thing I'm doing. I'll see you soon."

"How's the counseling going?"

Steve smiles just a little and looks up at Natasha from his chair across the table. They're sitting at the small café that Steve likes so much and lunch is on Natasha just because.

"It's going good. I mean, it's hard to hear that Tony's been so unhappy for so long and he never told me, but we're starting to really work on things. Our anniversary's coming up, you know."

"Is it?" she ask idly, as if she's distracted by something, or something heavy is weighing on her mind, Steve thinks. Definitely out of character.

"Yeah," he finally answers. "I don't know what we're planning on doing. It's going to be a weird one, though." He pauses. "I can't believe we've been married five years. I also can't believe that our marriage is falling apart after only five years."

Natasha sips at her water and chooses her words very carefully. "Do you think that saving your relationship is for the best? And by no means am I telling you to get divorced, but c'mon—you could do so much better than Stark."

"And you could do better than Barton," Steve chuckles. "But I don't see you doing anything about that in the foreseeable future."

"The whole point about the future is that it isn't foreseeable. No one knows what's going to happen," Natasha replies, cocking her head. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. You're a good guy with a hell of a lot to offer. You shouldn't be throwing it away for someone who's capable of hurting you in the worst way you can imagine."

"Nat, is there something you want to tell me? Because as far as I know, I've hurt Tony, too. We're just going through a rough stretch, but we're working on it. Everything's gonna be fine."

Natasha purses her lips before replying, "I hope so."

Tony doesn't even bother knocking on the door. He simply lets himself in and calls sarcastically, "Honey, I'm home!"

"In here!"

Tony follows the smell of cooking and finds Bucky standing in front of the stove wearing only a pair of sweatpants, and hugs him from behind. "Pancakes?" Tony mumbles against James' shoulder. "Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?"

"Damn," Bucky sighs. "You're onto me." He glances over his shoulder smiles at Tony, briefly biting his bottom lip. Tony snickers and presses a quick kiss to his mouth before letting go and heading for the coffee.

After breakfast, James leads Tony back to the bed and they sprawl out next to one another until Tony leans over for a kiss. It's innocent enough at first, but then Bucky ends up underneath Tony and they're starting to get carried away when Tony breaks the kiss. He sits back on James' lap and wishes that time would just stop. It won't, though; he knows that for a fact.

"Let me see your hand," Tony says, and he pushes back thoughts about how time can't stand still because he wants to watch this moment over and over and it hasn't even happened yet.

"Why?"

"Let me see it," Tony chuckles, extending his own hand.

Bucky finally relents and offers Tony his hand, holding it palm-up. Tony's fingers dance at his wrist for just a moment. They're still staring at each other until Bucky looks away, but even when he looks back at Tony, Tony's still grinning. Slowly, Tony's fingers trace shapes on Bucky's palm, but they aren't just any shapes; they're 3 words, eight letters. Bucky is staring in awe, unsure of what to say, and Tony leans down to kiss his palm.

"I wanna hear you say it," Bucky whispers, and his voice is so soft and hopeful that Tony can't deny him that.

Tony stretches out beside Bucky and kisses his cheek. "I love you," Tony whispers back, and the smile he receives is definitely worth it.

"It was the fuckin' pancakes, wasn't it? I knew I should've cooked you pancakes weeks ago."

"I'm not even a huge pancake fan," Tony shrugs.

James looks away, swallowing hard. "Steve makes good pancakes."

"Yeah," Tony replies, and there's a long pause and they're both tense. They haven't talked about Steve lately, and what's happening in terms of divorce, but Tony isn't going to offer the information unless Bucky asks directly. And Bucky looks so far off in thought that Tony has to literally kiss him back to reality.

James pulls away and clears his throat. "How long do you have?"

Tony glances at his watch and shrugs. "Not long. I just wanted to come see you. I don't really have time for—"

"Yeah," Bucky breaks in softly. "I get it." He worries his bottom lip and he looks so fucking crushed that Tony actually feels guilty, throwing an arm over his bare torso.

"I wish stopping time was possible. I could invent that and be even richer," Tony remarks. It's so juvenile, because he doesn't need more money. He needs more time, though. He'll always need more time with Bucky because his time is quickly coming to a close.

"My god, your ego would get even bigger."

"Is that possible? I'm not sure that's possible."

Bucky almost laughs as he rests his head against Tony's. "Imagine an alternate universe where we're all normal people doing normal shit."

"Oh. Oh, god, that's scary. What would I look like?"

"You would still look like you. Or maybe you'd look like your dad. What would I look like?"

"You definitely wouldn't have this," Tony murmurs, lifting his fingers to ghost them over Bucky's bionic arm. "That would suck because it's totally kickass and sexy. You probably wouldn't look like you're brooding all the time."

"I don't look like that," Bucky scowls.

"You do look like that. Okay, so imagine we live this totally boring life where we're normal people living in a normal house. What would we be like?"

"Are we married in this scenario?"

Tony shrugs. "Doesn't matter."

Bucky snorts because they're both so fucking lame. "Well, we wouldn't have kids."

"Oh no. No kids, ever," Tony agrees. "Maybe a dog. Maybe."

"I'd bring you coffee in bed every morning," Bucky says decidedly. "You'd be too lazy to get off your ass and get it yourself, but I'd always want to have coffee with you, so I'd bring it back to bed."

"For Valentine's Day I'd buy you stupid shit like chocolate," Tony snickers. "I'd always talk about how dumb it is but I'd do it anyway. And we'd totally use them for foreplay."

James closes his eyes and moans softly at the mental image. "I'd make you pancakes on Sunday mornings."

"I'd begrudgingly eat said pancakes every Sunday morning because I wouldn't be man enough to tell you that I'm tired of pancakes."

Bucky laughs. "The cleaning lady would always complain about having to wash the sheets because we'd be like fucking rabbits and couldn't get enough of each other."

Tony's voice is softer and more serious when he says, "I'd kiss you every time before I left the house because I'd be so worried that some freakish accident would happen and I'd never see you again and I'd have forgotten to tell you how much I love you the last time I saw you."

"Tony," Bucky whispers, and then they're both so quiet that neither one of them wants to say anything else because it'll ruin the moment.

It hurts. Everything just hurts on Bucky because he wants Tony and he wants to be with him but he can't because Tony's still married. He isn't sure how much longer he can deal with these conflicted emotions without falling apart.

Tony's phone goes off and it's the notification to remind him that he's got an appointment with Miranda. "I have to go," he says regretfully. He kisses Bucky's forehead and then his lips before he slides out of bed.

"Bye," James replies, and he doesn't even try not to sound upset.

"How are things with Steve going?"

"They're a little better," Tony shrugs. "I still haven't told him about Bucky. I will, I just need the time to come up with a way to explain how everything spiraled out of control."

"I think that's a really smart decision," Miranda comments. "When affairs occur, it's important to identify what drove the other person to cheat. That way you and Steve can discuss what happened and take the steps to avoid that happening again in the future."

Tony's only half listening when he replies, "I told Bucky I love him."

"How did that go over?"

"He was happy," Tony whispers. "Hearing me say it back made him so happy. I'll never forget the look on his face."

"Last time we met you mentioned breaking it off with him. Is there a reason you haven't done that yet?"

"It's going to kill him. I know It's gonna hurt him so bad, and I don't want to do that, but by not doing it I'm also hurting myself and Steve. I just—god, I don't even know. I love Bucky, and it fucking hurts to think about not being with him."

"Does thinking about not being with Steve hurt?"

"No," Tony replies quietly. "But I made him a promise and I intend on keeping it."