Chapter 6

NARUTO'S POV-

I feel asleep and then felt something on my lips but figured it was just some nat or a feather. After Sasuke finally fell asleep I woke up and realized I was feeling kind of aroused, but I didn't have that dream again, it must be the effects from not jacking off.

'Damnit.'

I sat up and quietly tiptoed to the bathroom.

Thank god it was dark, but just enough moonlight to not trip over anything in the living room. I walked into the bathroom and hopefully he won't see or hear me.

I thought about turning on the light, but that would just give me away. So I pulled out my cell phone and set it on flashlight and propped it so it was facing not just me but my dick.

I put my back to the wall and slid down, I was breathing a little heavily. I slipped my pants down to my knees and started palming myself.

'Shit.'

It felt really good, especially since I didn't do this before. I started palming myself faster and faster until I pulled my boxers down with my pants.

I could see that I was already hard. I controlled my breathing enough to go on. I lightly touched myself at first to get used to the sensations then I wrapped my hand around it and slowly started pumping.

'hahaa ah.'

I started thinking of the dream in my mind so this would go faster and it almost helped, if I was in my own home that is. I thought about how Sasuke was kissing me on the lips and licking all over my neck and chest and how he went lower to suck me off.

'Fuck.'

I almost let out a high pitched scream, but I bit my lip as to not do that.

SASUKE'S POV-

I knew he'd fall asleep eventually, but I didn't think I would also. I'm a pretty light sleeper, so it was pretty obvious when he got up to go use the bathroom. I was sleeping on the floor in front of him as he was sleeping on the couch. I waited a minute and could hear the rustling of clothes.

I waited a little bit before turning around and staring at the crack under the door. I saw his shadow cast from his phone light. I strained my eyes to see, but nothing just a small black figure.

Quietly I took the blankets off and lightly crawled across the floor on my hands and knees. My eyes focused on the crack under the door. I got closer to the door and my knee made a soft *pop* as I pressed it to one of the floorboards. I winced at the sound and froze all my movements for a moment.

'Good it doesn't seem like he heard. Too busy jacking off and it's true.'

I silently laughed at my thought. I kept crawling and the shadow became clearer. I smirked to myself for my find. I had to make sure my shadow could not be seen by Naruto nor could I be heard.

I stared at the door and prayed Naruto could not hear my heart beating through the door. I leaned next to the wall and based on the shadow I was on the same side of the door that he was on too. We could be facing each other and making out right now if it weren't for the fucking door!

I shook off the thought and scooted closer to the door. I lightly pressed my ear to the door and could hear him panting.

'*Blush!*'

'Shit, this better not go straight to my dick!'

"Haaha fu-mhf, nmm." Naruto muffled.

'Fuck I want to join him, but he'd probably flip. Damnit!'

His breathing, it's getting faster. I wonder if it could be from this afternoon. It feels really hot compared to a couple of minutes ago. I put my hand across my forehead and cheeks and I was burning up.

'Cold sweat, shit!' I was aroused. There is only one thing I could do in this situation, jack off. Normally I would not jack off here or with anyone nearby, but in the shower, but only because it's Naruto and he's apparently using my only bathroom.

I took a deep breath and lightly touched the bulge, that I didn't know was there, showing from my pants. I shivered at the feeling but it felt good despite that. I palmed myself a couple of times and silently let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Goosebumps were visible all around my body. The floor was cold no doubt especially up against my hot temperature. I pulled down my pajama pants along with my boxers.

Slowly I grabbed myself and stroked up and down my length. 'Haha mpf.' I closed my eyes and thought of Naruto. What he was doing in there.

I lightly put my ear against the door and could barely make out the low rough breathes coming from Naruto. I felt sweat dripping off my forehead and my pace quickened from the hot breathes coming from the other side of the door. I realized Naruto was breathing faster, he must be close.

'Shit I need to hurry.'

I concentrated on Naruto's breathing and possibly sexy body to get me off quicker. I quickened my pace just as Naruto was and that's when I heard it.

"Sasuke!"

It wasn't loud, but it was clearer than his other moans. That moment I released and bit back the urge to moan his name, instead I bit my lip drawing a small line of blood. Trying not to be heard, I breathed heavily trying to catch my breath and quickly pulled up my boxers as well as my pants. I still had cum on my hand, but no napkin. Slowly I stood up and took a step toward the kitchen, that's when I heard a small *click*.

NARUTO'S POV-

I couldn't hold it in anymore, I felt myself shudder with adrenaline and at that moment I couldn't hold back from moaning his name, "Sasuke!"

"..Haahaa…" I closed my mouth and tried to regulate my breathing.

'Shit, I hope I wasn't heard…' I guess I longed for Sasuke's touch more than I had imagined. I rested my head on the door and let my limp limbs rest a moment before I pulled my boxers and shorts back to their original positions.

When I think about the sexual doings that I crave from Sasuke, I can't help but think its all wrong. Sure he maybe a guy, but I really don't care about that, he's my best friend. I've tried so hard to protect that title between us; friends. Even though I am so weak and I kept wounding myself for the sake of Sasuke. Because of what I did; I can't forgive myself if I made Sasuke hate me more than I know he should. I shouldn't be alive nor should I have these feelings toward him. I don't deserve him! When I do think about Sasuke I think about all that happened and all of these truths and end up crying myself to sleep.

I opened the bathroom door slowly to keep quiet then closed it behind me. I looked straight ahead of me and panicked. Was I seeing an illusion?

"Um…S-sasuke?" I asked feeling light headed and nervous. He was the shadow within the moonlight cast from the window. The outline of his hair, his face, his body it was the same. The very same outline of that day, why does he do this?

"N-naruto…I," Sasuke tried to explain, but blurred out near the end. All I see is darkness. Black, bitter darkness. *Thump*

'Tch I must have fallen sleep, but the weather forecast never said anything about rain!' I felt the chill of a breeze go by as my school clothes got drenched.

"Damn, where is he? He's late; doesn't he realize I'm not playing when I need a ride home!"

"Heyy….wazzup?"

"You're drunk again, but you can still drive, please drive me home." I didn't want to get in the car, but I didn't have enough money to get on the bus, so I got in on the passenger side on the car.

"Haha sure, but you will probably get scolded tomorrow for not going home right after school detention."

"It's alright, I'm used to it." I looked out the rain stained window while we came across the bridge headed for my house.

"The clouds cry out all the sadness in people's hearts, but…"

"Hmm? What was that Naruto?"

"…"

"Tch, Naruto what are you talking about? Naru-"

"Ah! Misuki, look out!"

"!" *SCREECH* "Run!"

"Ahhhh!"

'I don't remember where I was or what I was doing. I must've blacked out again…I never thought I would have those nightmares again. Putting that much harm and misery on him, I really have no right to make him mine.' I laid there under sheets still not knowing where I was and fell asleep soon after.

I didn't know what else to do so I ran. I ran away knowing I just did something horrible. I ran away so I didn't have to see, so I didn't have to endure the pain. I felt pain and guilt coursing through my body. Was I dead? Was I alive? I felt pain knowing I was still in this cursed world. It's ironic to know that feeling pain is an identification of being alive. Being human. Guilt is just another label to put on being human; alive. Yet I was happy, you and I shared the same longing fate. You now know of the suffering I went through and there is a connection between us. An attraction of shared loneliness. Even though I'm the one who stripped you of everything. Shattered, broken, torn, separated, mindlessly holding on, isolated. I'm the only one who put you through all that. Why? Why can't I be honest about that, about my true feelings? I never wanted this nor did I ever want you to feel sadness and distress. I don't know what to say other than it's my own fault, all of it is because of me; just put the blame on me. Please.

-
I woke up suddenly and sat up straight. All I could do was let the tears fall as I thought of what Sasuke would do if he knew the truth. I didn't care where I was at the moment; I just prayed he would never find out. He never needs to know of my suffering nor the reason behind his sufferings.

"Oh, I see you're awake now, Mr. Uzumaki. How are you feeling?" A gentle voice popped out of the curtains. My eyes averted from the white sheets to the smiling nurse in white. I blinked and tried to remember what happened, to wonder why I was in a hospital as well as finding my voice to speak out.

"I feel fine. Thank you." I politely said to her, stunned as to why I was here. 'What…happened to me?'

"Um lady. Why am I in a hospital?" I asked rubbing my neck. She gave me a blank stare then giggled.

"Oh, sorry. *Giggle* someone brought you in yesterday and told us you just collapsed and he wasn't sure why. Diagnostics told us it was stress based; we gave you some medication as well as vitamins. Since you're awake now you should be able to leave whenever you like, but please do get more rest." The nurse explained and walked over to the vase of flowers next to the bed to water them.

"What, you mean I've be stuck here sleeping? Sorry, but I gotta go lady. Thanks!" I grabbed my clothes and threw them on while running out of the hospital doors. 'The last thing I remember is that it was dark.' I looked down at myself and realized I wasn't wearing my clothes; they were too dark to be mine. 'They're a bit loose and dark navy blue, these must be Sasuke's. Ah!'

I put my hand to my head and remembered I was at Sasuke's before I passed out. 'How can I be so stupid? I remember everything now. *Blush* still I hope he didn't hear or realize what I was doing. What was he doing up though?'

I have to find out what is on his mind. *Throb*

"Ah!" I winced in pain covering my forehead, "I guess I hit my head pretty hard. My body's not used to moving so quickly after that time in the hospital. I should go home and rest for a few hours then head to Sasuke's." I kept walking toward my house trying not to stress too much since I guess that's what caused me to faint. What's on my mind now is why after so many years did the memory of that time surface itself. I did whatever I could to forget about that. When I think about it I feel even worse than I did at that moment. Does he still not know it's my fault? Would he hate me if he found out? Do I have the right to call him my friend? These questions would always roam my mind when I thought about it. The question I keep thinking about now is; do I even have a right to ever call him more than just a friend?

A day earlier (When Naruto passed out)

SASUKE'S POV-

Before I even realized it Naruto had passed out. I took him to the hospital after awhile when he wouldn't wake up.

'I feel like I'm the one putting all this stress onto him, trying so hard to force my feelings on him.'

I sat on the couch with my eyes closed, wondering what to do next.

'Is showing my feelings really the best for him?'

*Knock, Knock*

My eyes opened and glanced at the closed door that the knocking came from. I sighed and stood up telling the door I'd be there.

"Yes, what is it?" I said as I opened the door.

"Oh, Sasuke. Hello!" The blonde smiled sweetly twirling in her skirt and tube top. I thanked every possible being out there that it wasn't Sakura standing outside of my door.

"What's up Ino?" I asked still standing in the middle of the doorway.

"May I come in?" I stared at her a moment as she walked in taking off her shoes and sitting down on the couch were I had just moments ago been sitting. I really didn't like people entering my house, but I guess I had no choice.

I sighed closing the door behind her, "Would you like something to drink?"

She nodded as I walked into the kitchen grabbing two glasses of water and handing one to Ino. I sat on the opposite side of the couch and waited for her response.

She cleared her throat and said, "I know you and the others work hard on the missions you go on. I came to tell you that a few others and I are throwing a BBQ to celebrate everyone working hard. I wanted to wait till Sakura got back from her mission, but it looks like she's working overtime. So what do you say?" Ino smiled back at me and waited for my answer.

I never liked going out to eat, especially if it was with a group of people, even if I did love food. I thought for a moment debating if I should go or not.

'Naruto would have instantly said yes if he heard anything about "free food".' I inwardly chuckled and reminded myself that I wasn't Naruto.

"I'll think about it." I stated, taking a sip of water from my glass.

"Oh, please do come! You usually never like to come to these outings, only for Sakura's lame attempt for a party. I think you need to go out and mingle with people." Ino explained and seemed excited for me to go, except for the whole Sakura thing. 'That I don't get, but who cares.'

"*Sigh* Alright. If I said I'd go, only for a short while, will you leave me be?" I asked standing up, hoping she'd get the message to leave as soon as possible.

She lightly smiled back at me, getting what I wasn't telling her and said, "You have my word. By any chance, have you seen Naruto? I went by his apartment earlier, but he wasn't home and he's not on a mission either."

She looked down like she was worried about the poor guy, but really does she have to put her nose in this business? I didn't feel like explaining to her any sort of knowledge I had on him so I said, "I could care less where he's at. You're asking the wrong person." I walked Ino to the door and she slipped her shoes back on.

"Oh, ok. I'll check back with Lady Tsunade and thank you so much Sasuke for accepting the barbeque. See you at 6!" The blonde ponytail bounced as she twirled and walked home with a smile on her face.

I sighed as I closed the door behind her.

'Women.' I thought there was nothing worse. I set a hand to my face, rubbing my forehead. I guess I could go for like an hour or two and be back before anything happens. I really doubt that even if Ino finds Naruto, he'd be able to go. It calmed my nerves a little to know this as I sat back on the couch. I laid down grabbing a pillow, which happened to be the one Naruto was sleeping on a few hours prior. 'Naruto's scent still lingers on the pillow.' With this thought in mind I figured it'd be good for me to take a nap before the barbeque.

~ TO BE CONTINUED ~

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