Sorry taking so long to update, my birthday was over the weekend so I've been busy. Will soon pick up with focus on Amanda Rollins. Still from the Rollins viewpoint, but a good reminder that she isn't the only one with challenges.

Once again I do not own nor have the rights to any of the Law & Order storylines, characters, etc.

Olivia had such an amazing mix of compassion and strength. She had what it takes to be an amazing permanent leader of the department. I knew the way leadership of the team fell into her lap was not ideal. In fact I sensed she was hoping they would find a replacement for Cragen soon. She wanted to be out there with victims, and crushing the people that hurt them. It was an Olivia special, enable a rape victim to feel safe and believed one minute, and a few hours later hammer the perp in an interrogation room. Not only did she have this gift, she was able to swiftly change roles, so subtly you didn't even notice the change had happened.

It is so strange how life goes sometimes. One moment all you focus on is the terrible things in your own life and suddenly you are reminded how awful it is in the shoes of those around you. It was a few months after the low point of my life when we found out that William Lewis had escaped from prison. According to what we were told he wound up in the hospital and somehow planned a way to get himself free.

We all felt a shock to our system, but the look on Olivia's face was so raw it reminded me that she had her own low point recently. Even when looking back at the things that had happened in my life, none compared to the horror of being in that evil "man's" hands. I knew it was time I stepped up and I had to put my stuff back in the box. Olivia needed us, and that included me.

She had someone with her around the clock and nearly always one of us was with her as well. We continued to try to focus on cases but the distraction and fear we all felt was dominating our thoughts. Olivia insisted on working, she seemed to need the work to take her focus. She had Brian with her at night, and cars posted outside 24/7.

Lewis had somehow escaped and kidnapped a young girl. The girl was his bullet proof vest, and his ace in getting to Olivia. Lewis also knew of her gift of compassion and he masterfully used it to entrap her. Olivia was his demand and there was no stopping her from going to meet him. She insisted we not tell anyone or she knew he would kill the girl.

Once she arrived she immediately engaged Lewis. She knew better than to try the usual tactics. She went straight to offering to go with him if he let the girl go, Lewis refused. Despite all of our protests she agreed to go with Lewis and the girl. Olivia wouldn't allow the girl to be alone with him. Lewis forced Olivia to drive and kept the girl in the back with him. She drove off with Lewis. Lewis had made a threat that if he saw anyone following him "it wouldn't be good for 'his girls'". The car they had been driving in was found a few blocks away and a taxi driver was found shot nearby, it was assumed Lewis had been the killer and had taken the taxi.

We were all at the headquarters of the special command center in charge of finding Lewis, Olivia, and the little girl. She was an 11-year-old named Louisa. She had been walking home from her friend's house and unfortunately been in the path of Lewis. The atmosphere was frantic, and the tension level high.

In the midst of the chaos of the command center at One Police Plaza Brian arrived. It took only moments before I saw Amaro and Fin take him to the side. Brian looked ready to kill, and I'm not sure it really mattered who it was if he thought it would help Olivia. They talked to him and finally he was calm enough to insert himself into the search and how it was being planned. Fin, Nick, and I decided to start trying to figure out places where Lewis might be headed.

Sometimes all it takes is one small detail or one inadvertent comment that can change everything. When Lewis was being interrogated he said something that didn't make a lot of sense at the time. "I am an innocent man; my only crime is being born to a father who shared too much". It lingered in my head. Everyone heard the comment and knew it had a meaning. I don't think Lewis meant to drop it as a clue. I think he was deflecting blame for his actions in a brief moment of defensiveness. He must have been triggered by something that was said and he slipped.

At the time I spent hours digging through online records trying to find out all about him and his past, both before and after he had Olivia. In a lucky hit I found a story about his family in which they talked about his father going to prison for a variety of offenses. He had committed a number of crimes involving drugs, assault of an officer, illegal weapons, and most interesting, lewd acts with a child. He had been caught in a sting to close down a drug operation. When he was arrested there must have been something that led to the charges of lewd acts with a child. I don't know if was because records that old had often been misplaced, or not yet put into electronic format, but the details seemed lost.

At the time I told Olivia that I was researching his background and she told me to keep digging and let her know what I found. However, she wanted me make sure I didn't do anything that would interfere with his trial. She didn't want any risk of contaminating his prosecution. Amaro and Fin were a part of it as well, but I had the expertise and experience to use the internet as a powerful weapon. Fin was barely past the time when he thought the only way a computer was a weapon was if you threw it at someone and Amaro seemed more inclined to hit the computer, expecting it to cooperate and give him the information. After the trial things were already on a downward trend for me. I did continue to look into it a little but since he was convicted, and I was distracted, I didn't get much further. Now I knew I needed to pick up where I left off.

I scanned the room and found an FBI agent I pegged as someone who could be persuaded to help me in looking for information on Lewis. I knew this was already being done at the official level. I wanted to get a jump on finding it so that we didn't have to wait for official word of locations to check. I went over to see if I couldn't get some help accessing the FBI database for additional information. Dave, the agent's name, seemed to be fairly new at this and eager to help. When I mentioned how I was having some trouble finding an important file on Lewis, and knew it was critical, he offered to help me. I might have led him to believe I was a little higher in the NYPD ranks that I actually was. The information he was able to find was the address of Lewis' childhood home, and what the charge meant. His father had been found with a young girl in his house during his arrest. Lewis, a 10-year-old, was in the room and told the officers his dad was forcing him to watch as he touched her and hurt her. There wasn't enough evidence to charge more severely, which is why he got such a minor charge.

Lewis was probably destined to be a monster from his inception, but that was the moment that had probably turned on his desire to torment victims in perverse sexually motivated crimes. He had been unleashed.

We now had a place to start talking to people and trying to get clues on where Lewis was headed. We chose to do the right thing and inform the people in charge of what our plan was. They insisted we take reinforcements with us. We went out to start talking to anyone we could find in his neighborhood, at the prison, anything to give us a hint on his plan. We took his childhood neighborhood. Time was not on Olivia's side. I owed her and felt that sense of responsibility, I had to make sure we found her before anything more terrible happened.